A/N: Because I love all my reviewers, here is the next chapter of Near Misses. Feel honored I got this chapter up so soon! I've been running around all week with papers to write, psychology test to study for, and birthday and hospital trips to make. Too much excitement for one week but now I'm ready to sit back, relax, and work on this story. Unfortunately, this chapter is another short one, and it also has no ZADR in it. Gasp Awww... D8 But in place of that, there will be some smutty RAPR goodness. Yay! 8D For all those smut lovers out there, be happy. Originally, I had only planned there to be 5 smut scenes in this story, but I extended it to 6 because I felt a need to have at least one smutty RAPR scene in this. Also, I felt it appropriate to add it into this chapter since it is so short. I don't want to keep you waiting too long like I did in my other story. And for those who hate smut, I give warning before the scene. Please don't just skip this chapter all together. It has crucial filler information for the rest of the story. Also, if you want to know more information about this story, feel free to check out my journal on My username is orangechidna. I'll be posting information about this story and the next. Also, I'll have a request for character names I'll need for both stories. (Check out my journal for extra info on characters.) Finally, I must warn you, there may be some spoilers for the story but I'll try to keep most of the plot as secretive as I can. I don't want to ruin the story for anyone. Also feel free to look through my gallery. I have plenty of ZADR art as well as this story. Can't see the mature content ones? Go ahead and email me at and I'll be more than happy to send them to you. Also if anybody wants to see some of my more smutty art go ahead and email me and I'll send you some of the stuff I'm working on. Now that that's out of the way, let's get started. Disclaimer: I'm not cool enough to own any of the characters in this story so don't sue me. Chapter 3: Enter Tallest. Enjoy! (I must make note of how much I hate my computer. It's died three times already when I was in the middle of typing out this chapter. In fact, I would have had this chapter up yesterday if it hadn't died last night.)
ON THE MASSIVE
Purple eyes closed lazily and antennae twitched as Tallest Purple relaxed into the soothing warmth of a gel bath he had just prepared. He had had a long day of sitting back, ordering other Irkens around, eating snacks, and laughing at those he had managed to cause bodily harm. Yep. Being Tallest was great. But now he just wanted to relax away from it all. It was hard work being Tallest and stressful at times. Of course, his co-leader did most of the work while he just sat back and watched in amusement. But that was beside the point.
He enjoyed locking himself away in their private chambers at times. The constant movement of the ship always had the gel in the tub lapping up against his chin a bit. It was peaceful and he enjoyed the gentle rocking. He was becoming so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn't notice the other presence in the room with him until long, three-fingered hands dipped into the gel to wrap arms around his chest from behind. Purple opened his eyes slightly as he tilted his head back to flash the other a toothy grin. "What took you so long?" he purred gently.
Red gave him a lazy smile as he responded. "Oh, you know. The normal. Our crew is pretty useless so I'm stuck doing everything."
Purple re-closed his eyes again, nodding. "Hmmm...Maybe we should trade them for a better crew."
Red seemed to give that some thought before answering. "Why trade them when we can sell them. At least then we'd be able to make some monies."
Purple thought about that a moment. "Naaa...who would pay monies for such a useless crew? Besides, then we'd have nobody to bring us snacks. And I just ordered nachos!"
SMUT SCENE. NO LIKEY, NO LOOKEY! ENJOY!
Red leaned forward more, taking one of Purple's antennae in his mouth. Purple's body went lax in Red's arms and his eyes drooped partially closed. He tried to form words but all that came out was a few incoherent noises. "Nyaaa...Mmmm..." The noises soon turned to a content purr as he leaned back more. Red released Purple's antennae a moment to move his mouth to Purple's neck. Purple's head cleared up quickly as he regained the ability to talk again. "All right. We'll talk about what to do with our useless crew later but for now, come here." He turned around and attempted to pull Tallest Red into the tub with him.
Red nearly lost his balance before managing to push Purple away. "At least wait until I've taken my clothes off first," he said as he stood to get undressed.
Purple pouted as he crossed his arms and turned away. "You're no fun."
"Oh, really?" he said as he finished undressing and made his way over to the edge of the tub to step in next to Purple. "I beg to differ." he said as he lowered himself to Purple's level and moved in front of him to press his hips to Purple's.
Purple, who was trying to show he wasn't at all affected by any of the things Red was doing to him, gasped suddenly at the press of hips. "You s...suck, Red." he hissed through his teeth but otherwise didn't complain.
Red just grinned evilly at Purple as he brought a hand down to continue his ministrations. He pressed Purple tightly up against the back of the tub as he lazily dragged his hand down between their bodies to grasp Purple's member lightly. Purple moaned out loudly as he thrust his hips forward, trying to build more friction. He loved the workings of Red's hand on his aching member. It was more pleasurable than anything else he knew in life, even being Tallest, and he never wanted it to end. He wrapped his legs tightly around the other and clung onto Red's shoulders as his thrusts became faster and his moans filled the room. Red worked his hand more vigorously in an attempt to get Purple off. With one final, powerful thrust, Purple reached his climax and released his seed into the other's hand.
He could visibly see the remains of it in the tub as he practically collapsed forward into Red's arms, panting. Red allowed Purple a moment to rest before he moved to the opposite end of the tub, pulling Purple with him, to take a seat. Getting comfortable quickly, he tugged Purple onto his lap. Purple took his time positioning himself so he could take Red's member into his body. He moaned lowly at the feeling as Red's head fell back, a moan of his own escaping his mouth. Once seated, Purple leaned forward against Red's chest to nibble lightly at the skin on his neck.
Red hummed lowly in the back of his throat as his eyes slipped closed. "Mmmm...yeeesss..."
Purple smiled slyly against skin before kissing it gently and rocking his hips to match Red's own thrusts. His member was already hard again and pressed between their bodies. Red clung to the back of the tub as he brought his hips up, panting as each thrust brought him closer and closer to a release. Purple dug his nails into Red's shoulders as he bounced in Red's lap, moaning in ecstasy. Red's thrusts became faster and more frantic as his pleasure reached its peak. Red came first, Purple coming only a few seconds later, his cum coating both their stomachs.
Purple stood slightly after a few moments so Red could pull himself free of Purple's entrance, some cum still dripping from the tip of his cock. Purple plopped back down into the seat next to Red's before turning slightly to wrap arms tightly around him and cuddle closer.
END OF SMUT SCENE. HOPE YOU ENJOYED!
A few minutes passed in silence, the only sounds in the room being two content purrs coming from the two occupants holding each other. A sudden knock on the main door to their chambers broke them out of their daze. Purple growled at the interruption before reluctantly pushing himself up out of the tub to wrap a towel around himself and answer the door. "It's about time. Those better be my nachos!" As he opened the door, one of the ship's technicians stood before him, his antennae lowered in submission.
He bowed once before addressing Purple. "I'm terribly sorry for the disturbance, my Tallest, but I've got some information I thought you might be interested to see." he handed Purple a few papers with Irken on them.
Purple took the papers from the technician before squinting one eye at him. "Damn...So you don't have my nachos?"
The technician's antennae drooped as he began to sweat a little. "Ummm...No...My apologies, sir, but I really must insist that you look over those papers. They may hold the solution to out shortage of soldiers problem."
Purple stayed staring at him skeptically a few more moments before finally straightening up again to scan over the papers with his eyes. "So what exactly is this and where did you get it?"
The shorter Irken perked his antennae up straight at the question. "This information was sent through the terminal we still have hooked up to Irken exile, Zim's computer on Earth. A few days ago he had his computer run a full body scan as well as some DNA and blood tests. The results are in those papers."
That caught Purple's attention. "Ooohhh! Maybe he got some horrible Earth disease and is slowly dying a painful death!" Purple squeed and laughed.
The technician went to speak, lifting one finger. "Actually, sir, he's..."
He was cut off by Purple. "Silence! I'm reading!" he went back to reading, a wide, toothy grin on his face. "We've had tabs on his computer's system since the day we exiled him to Earth, hoping someday we'd get the signal he was dead so we could celebrate it. This may actually be the day!" he clapped his hands together excitedly. The excitement on his face quickly changed to shock as he read further. "Oh my...RED! Red, get out here quickly and come look at this!" he screamed from the front room.
He heard a slight mumble from the other room before Red entered the room with an irritated look on his face. He, too, had a towel wrapped around himself. "What? This better be good," he said as he came to stand next to Purple.
The technician quickly bowed his head in respect. "My Tallest." he addressed Red.
Red nodded at him before taking the papers from Purple. Purple's grin had grown much more wicked. Red's eyes went wide as he read the information on Zim. "Well, what do you know? Looks like Zim's just provided us with the answer to our little shortage problem." he smiled evilly back at Purple. Red turned back toward the other Irken. "Good work, soldier. Now go back to your station and keep track of any more information that may come through from Earth."
The technician saluted then turned to leave.
Red made his way back over to the bed as he continued to read over the papers, plopping down to spread them out and look over the details more closely. Purple closed the door and turned to walk over to the bed when there came another knock on the door. He opened it once more just to have a short service drone jump into the room. "Your nachos, my Tallest!" he smiled and saluted Purple.
Purple made a happy little squeal before taking them from the service drone. "Yay! Thanks!" he said before sending the service drone on his way. He stuffed a handful of nachos in his mouth as he walked over to the bed.
"Hey! Don't hog them!" Red said as he grabbed a handful for himself.
Purple plopped down onto the bed next to Red and looked over the papers there. "So, what do you plan to do with Zim? I guess we can't kill him now, can we? At least not yet."
Red seemed to give it some thought as he looked over the papers more and rubbed his chin. "No...I suppose not...We may want to save that for after we have the child. We can't afford to lose a possible future soldier, even if it is related to Zim." he shuddered.
Purple nodded. "Darn. I really wanted to kill him too. How do you think it happened to him anyways? Oh! Maybe he was raped!"
Red glanced back at Purple a moment before returning to the papers. "No, that doesn't sound like Zim. He would never allow something like that to happen to himself. Then again, I'm having a hard time seeing Zim forming any kind of relation with any of the inhabitants of that putrid planet. He hated that place. And the only thing he talked about whenever he called us was his hatred for that big-headed boy."
Purple's lower eyelid twitched a bit at the memory of a picture Zim had shown them of Dib. "It really was HUGE!"
Red ignored Purple and continued on. "Anyways, I don't care how it happened, just the fact that it happened. I wonder if the females of that planet would be able to conceive an Irken baby if we mated them with some of our males. They must be genetically linked somehow if Zim was able to conceive one from a male of that planet. But he wasn't raped. I'm sure of that."
Purple sighed. "Hey. I can dream, can't I? So how do you plan to test this little theory of yours?"
Red straightened up to sit on his knees. "Here's my plan. We set a course for Earth but send another Irken ahead of us to "experiment" with one of the earth females. If we get word from him that our little plan worked, then we move in to take possession of the females and Zim."
Purple looked at Red in awe. "Oh. I like that plan. I like that plan a lot. But who should we send ahead of us for this little job of yours?"
Red smiled evilly. "I've already got the perfect Irken in mind for this job. Get me Invader Bixxle."
A/N: HAHAHA! Laugh at my suckish Irken name, Bixxle! XD I just realized for this chapter I needed a name for another random Irken character in the story and somehow I came up with Bixxle. For future reference I'll just ask people to help me come up with names for extra characters. So if you wanna help, visit my journal on DA for more info and then leave a name either there, here in a review, or in a review on You don't have to but it sure would help me.
And now to thank everybody that reviewed on that last chapter.
To Apple Pornography: Your welcome for the update. I orgasm with happiness that I have the ability to make you violently orgasm just by updating and responding to you! Lol. XD Yeah, I'm a busy girl. Lots of skool work but things are finally slowing down...kind of...But I'm not even half way through my semester and I already have to start signing up for my next classes which sucks cause first I have to go see if I can get a hold of an advisor. I honestly don't think I need one but my parents always urge my brother and I to see one before choosing classes. It takes up so much time though. I already know which classes I want and need to take, damnit! Anyways, I would be more than happy to read your stories when you get them up. If you need any help with that, feel free to ask and I'll be willing to help you with that. Well thanks a ton for reading. It means a lot to me.
To Sora4President: Yeah, I tried to make that scene with Membrane not horribly awkward. Glad to here I pulled it off. And I'm happy to hear I got you hooked after only the second chapter, especially since you're not into any kind of MPreg. And I'll do my best to update for all my loyal readers and reviewers. So here's that next chapter for you. Hope you like. Hopefully, I'll have chapter 4 up tomorrow. I finished writing it today and would have had it up today if my computer would stop dying on me every three seconds. Yes, skool does suck. It's always out to get me. It just wants to destroy all mankind! Run for your lives!!! We're all going to die!
And to anybody else that reviews- Thank you all. Much love to all my reviewers!