Birdman Coast to Coast
Sad Times
Cut to Lokar sitting in a comfy chair.
Lokar: Hello, boys and girls...it's me Lokar Locusta, king of the locusts. The recent Standards and Practises crackdown made Birdman put the show on hiatus for one week, so we'll give you...the viewer a glimpse of Birdman what he was like before he was famous in this special edition of Birdman Coast to Coast, here's his "Sad Times"...
Opening credits.
Cut to a film reel of Birdman being born.
Lokar:(V.O): In 1942, a very special baby was born...Ray Randall. Doctors described it as a super-baby and could become the next Batman or Superman. Father, Jason Randall and mother Alison Randall were proud of little Ray...
Cut to the present Jason and Alison at the retirement home.
Jason: Yep, when Dr. Wargo said our baby's super powers are solar-powered, well, we just couldn't believe our new baby boy Ray could be a superhero.
Alison: Having a super-powered baby was not easy.
Jason: But we reckon we did a fine job of raising little Ray.
Cut to a film reel of Birdman, 6 years old going to school with his Mom and Dad.
Lokar:(V.O): When he was 6 years old, Ray went to school and that's when he met Falcon 7 aka Phil Ken Sebben.
Cut to Phil.
Phil: Well, I taught Birdman when he started school that was when I was a teacher at "Corner Road Elementary School".
Lokar:(V.O): Corner Road Elementary School was a fine school for Birdman, as he learned, made friends, and learnt more about life.
Cut to Jason & Alison.
Jason: How bad life was the reason why Ray wanted to be a superhero. I mean, when he announced it, we were like "Huh?" but we're proud of him.
Lokar:(V.O): The '40s wasn't easy...
Cut to Birdman.
Birdman: It wasn't easy, the Depression came and went, and people were still shocked and also World War 2, well it wasn't easy.
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar: But no matter how hard things were, in 1947, Jason & Alison gave birth to Birdman's now deceased little sister, Dora.
Cut to Jason and Alison.
Jason: Ray was five, and he was so happy having a little sister.
Lokar:(V.O): But, Birdman thought the good times would never end...in 1948, on Dora's 1st birthday, Dora died of a house fire.
Jason: She was so young, I mean why not me?
Alison: Now, dear.
Jason: WHY NOT ME!
Pause.
Jason: Let's get some coffee.
Jason & Alison walked off. Cut to Birdman.
Birdman: I mean, the house fire was so sudden, I mean I tripped my power bands went off and hit the electrical socket and it...killed my baby sister!
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar: This event caused Birdman to run away, his parents were worried sick, but lucky enough Birdman encountered Space Ghost.
Cut to Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: I was a teenager who hated life, so I ran away from my parents to explore the big cheese "Earth". I saw Birdman lying alone, crying and I helped him. It was the first time we met.
Cut to Birdman.
Birdman: My parents were worried and scared about me, as I said the '40s wasn't a good time to live.
Cut to film reel. Birdman (as a kid) is on the streets with a mug.
Birdman: Spare a dime, spare a dime. I'm a five-year old kid who needs to restart his life!
Man #1: Get yourself something like a Tom & Jerry thingy.
Woman #2: Go and rent an apartment.
Space Ghost flies in.
Space Ghost: Hi, My name is Tad. What's yours?
Birdman: Ray. Why are you wearing those clothes?
Space Ghost: My parents are training me to become a well-known superhero.
Birdman: I have powers.
Space Ghost: They say my name should be "Space Ghost" because I live in space and when I was being born, I died but got miraculously revived.
Birdman: Space? That's cool, do you come from Mars?
Space Ghost: No.
Birdman: Jupiter.
Space Ghost: No.
Birdman: Neptune.
Space Ghost: No, I live in a planet called: "Ghost Planet" it's named after my great grandfather "Dale Ghostal".
Birdman: Cool, how old are you?
Space Ghost: Fifteen, you?
Birdman: Five.
Space Ghost: Do you have a family, little guy?
Birdman: Yes, but I ran away because I caused the death of my sister.
Space Ghost: Oh well, you just go back and tell your parents your sorry, and it was just an accident, because in twenty more years, they would have forgotten. Say, I'll get you home.
Birdman: Nope, I can fly.
Birdman flies home.
Space Ghost: What a brave little boy.
Cut back to the PRESENT Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: Years and years later, we are talk-show rivals. It's surprising we met under those circumstances.
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar: Jason and Alison, unsurprisingly shocked and ashamed of Birdman when this event occurred. Birdman and the family were traumatized about the event, and went to a psycho-therapist, Dr. Nightmare.
Cut to Dr. Nightmare.
Dr. Nightmare: Yes, I was a crazy doctor back in the '40s, then turned bad guy in the '60s and then lawyer in the '90s. In-between, I did some odd jobs to go by. Yes, Jason, Alison & little Birdman were all tough-cases. But they eventually forgot and forgave each other, I felt so proud of there process.
Cut to a black-and-white tape of Alison, Jason & Birdman in the couch with Dr. Nightmare.
Dr. Nightmare: So, Mr. and Mrs. Randall...what have you got to say about your son.
Jason: We're ashamed of you Ray; we can't believe something like this can happen.
Birdman: I'm sorry, dad.
Jason: I know you are sorry, but sorry doesn't bring Dora back alive now doesn't!
Alison: Jason...
Jason: Now Alison, you knew I had a temper when you married me.
Dr. Nightmare: Listen, little Ray is already sad as you are, but don't put the blame on him.
Jason: WHY THE FUCK SHOULDN'T WE! HE KILLED HIS OWN SISTER!
Birdman: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
Birdman runs outside crying.
Dr. Nightmare: Listen Mr. Randall, I noticed Ray had power-bands; did you buy that for him?
Alison: Yes, we bought if for his 5th birthday.
Dr. Nightmare: And he said he tripped over, the bands went off and hit the electrical socket with caused an electrical fire. Now listen, it isn't his fault.
Jason: I suppose.
Alison: Okay, thank you Dr. Nightmare.
Cut to Dr. Nightmare.
Dr. Nightmare: Jason had a bad temper, but Alison was pretty and sweet. Ray was a good boy but always cries when he does something wrong, like a maths equation, if he did a maths equation and got it wrong, he would cry...basically his traumatized by these events and tries not to do anything wrong.
Cut to Birdman.
Birdman: Yes, I tried to get everything right, but failed at trying to get it right, so I would always cry, because I'd worry about something bad happening.
Cut to a shot of little Birdman with a baby Avenger.
Lokar:(V.O): After the fire fiasco, Jason & Alison bought Birdman a baby eagle, which he named "Avenger" for Christmas. But Christmas still felt weird for them.
Cut to Birdman.
Birdman: Yep, got Avenger when I was 6-years old for Christmas. My parents said that the people at the vet were going to kill Avenger because his parents badly injured him, but years later and he is better then ever.
Lokar:(V.O): Also, they moved into there new house next door to Falcon 7, whom Birdman only knew him as back then.
Birdman: Oh yes, moved to New York. The big apple, it was weird...meeting new people, new friends, odd locations I've never seen...now I know New York inside out, I even know that song: "New York, New York" and got one of those I heart New York.
Birdman grabs out a T-shirt reading: "I (heart) New York".
Jason: It was really weird but wonderful experience for Ray, also pretty bad.
Alison: Bad?
Jason: Remember, the talk-a-lot-pyrosis.
Alison: Oh, yeah.
Lokar:(V.O): Yes, when Birdman was celebrating his tenth birthday, doctors diagnosed him with "talk-a-lot-pyrosis". It's a disease where you starting talking a lot, it was in-curable disease unless a surgery was performed.
Cut to New Jersey.
Lokar:(V.O): Birdman had to go to New Jersey for the surgery to be performed, where he met a hospital intern "Steve".
Cut to Steve (from ATHF).
Steve: Oh yeah, that's when my boss Dr. Weird had his own hospital, that's when we met Birdman.
Cut to a young Birdman in the hospital.
Jason: Hello nurse, a Ray Randall, um...he needs surgery.
Nurse: Welcome to the Dr. Weird Memorial Hospital, Dr. Weird will be right here in a minute.
Dr. Weird (with black hair) enters.
Dr. Weird: Hello, it's me! Dr. Weird.
Alison: Hello, Dr. Weird. I want my son to get fixed.
Birdman: Mom, why do I need to get fixed? I don't need it, I'm completely fine, I'm more then super, I'm so great, I can leap from the walls, nope, nothing wrong with me, I feel so great, so great I can leap from the walls, oops, already said that, oh well.
Alison: You see!
Dr. Weird: Yes, talk-a-lot-pyrosis! My father was diagnosed with that back in 1949. Oh, Steve!
A younger Steve (6 years-old) comes in.
Steve: Yes, Doctor.
Dr. Weird: Give me my beaker.
Steve gives Dr. Weird his beaker.
Dr. Weird: Time...for the deadly surgery.
Jason: Huh?
Dr. Weird: I mean...deadly surgery!
Cut to Dr. Weird in the operating room.
Lokar:(V.O): Dr. Weird operated to the crack of dawn until...it was safe to say...Birdman was saved, pfft, like that's a good thing.
Dr. Weird: Mr and Mrs Randall, Ray is okay!
Phil:(V.O): Ha, ha. That rhymes
Lokar:(V.O): Shut up.
Alison: Thank you Dr. Weird!
Dr. Weird: I just removed his voice box and scrambled it into his windpipe, which prevented him talking for 48 hours!
Jason: WHAT!
Dr. Weird: Yes, 48 hours. After that, his windpipe will release and untwist the voice box which was the reason why he was so talkative.
Alison: Really.
Lokar:(V.O): So, they waited two whole days, and then Birdman was better then ever.
Cut to New York home. Birdman enters.
Birdman: Mom, Dad. I'm better then ever.
Jason: Yep, I'm so proud of you, you brave soldier.
Cut to Lokar in the chair.
Lokar: Yes, after the break...we'll show you Birdman's troubled teenage-hood. Ta, ta.
Cut to commercial.
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar: Hello, did you take a bathroom break? I did...IN my pants.
Pause.
Black Vulcan: In your pants.
Lokar: Whatever, let's just cut to when Birdman or "Ray" celebrated his 13th birthday.
Cut to an older Birdman with acne and a big cake on the table.
Relatives: HAPPY birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! YAY!
Birdman blows the candles.
Jason: Big 13.
Alison: I'm so proud of my little man.
Birdman: Thank you Mom, Dad.
When Birdman speaks, his speaks in a squeaky-pitched voice.
Jason: Can't wait until his old enough to get rid of that annoying voice.
Birdman: Huh, Dad?
Jason: Nothing son.
Lokar:(V.O): He started having "blast dreams".
Birdman wakes up to find his bed up destroyed.
Birdman: Huh?
Cut to Birdman getting his sheets to the washing machine.
Jason: Son? What are you doing?
Birdman: Nothing, I just want to feel responsibility.
Jason: That's nice...hey! You are had a "blast dream" didn't you?
Pause.
Birdman: No.
Lokar:(V.O): He wasted his powers on when looking at pictures of villains.
Cut to Birdman in the toilet wasting his powers while reading a magazine.
Student #1: Hey everybody! Ray wants to destroy Myron Reducto!
Birdman: What?
Birdman gets out and sees a teenage Reducto.
Reducto: Hello Ray, so you want to be my butt-kicker eh?
Birdman: Ah, of cause not, I don't want to destroy you.
Reducto: Whatever.
Reducto walks out with a shrink gun in his hands.
Birdman: Phew, that was close
Student #2: Too close.
Lokar:(V.O): And...he started high school!
Principal: Welcome to the World Trade Center High School.
Birdman: Thank you.
Cut to Birdman studying.
Teacher: And if you have a fraction of Hitler's moustache, what's the exact fraction.
Birdman: 4th?
Teacher: No, 3rd.
Birdman walks out.
Teacher: Listen, Ray...if you have any trouble, just call this number.
The teacher gives Birdman a card reading: "Falcon 7, Licensed Tutor".
Birdman: Okay, thanks.
Cut to Birdman studying with Phil.
Phil: And what does a quarter of Lassie do when you swap it with King Kong's skin.
Birdman: The fraction amount of fur rises because of King Kong's height compared to Lassie.
Phil: Every good, Ray.
Lokar:(V.O): No matter how much Birdman studied, he failed.
Cut to Birdman getting a sheet of paper reading: "F ".
Birdman: Huh?
Lokar:(V.O): He then became a high-school dropout after awhile.
Cut to Birdman in a gym.
Lokar:(V.O): He became a gym guy, working out and making some muscles.
Birdman: 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100!
Birdman steps off.
A person walks over to him.
Person: I saw you made it to 100 without breaking A sweat, say, you want to be my spokesperson for "Muscle Gain 2000", and it's a different kind of steroid that's legal in this state.
Birdman: Really?
Person: Sure, there are only a few side effects, insomnia, explosive bowel-cleavage, hyperactive-ness, stupefied-ness, psycho-ness, idiocy, anger & incredible stress.
Birdman: That all.
Person: Yep, and it only costs a hundred bucks for the first second, then jack up the price to an all-time high.
Lokar:(V.O): Everyone was worried about "Ray", he started acting strange, his become more buff and quick and so enough...well, let's just say, his squeaky voice came and went fast. When he was 20, he became a hobo, the least to say.
Cut to Birdman in the streets.
Birdman: Spare a dime! Spare a dime! Spare a dime!
Lokar:(V.O): He got so much money, that he was able to get to the library and he started borrowing books about birds.
Cut to Birdman in the library.
Birdman: Hello, book guy, can I borrow ALL the books on birds and eagles.
Avenger flies in.
Cut to Birdman reading a book.
Birdman: Birds vomit out food into their young? Uh, I'm going to read more.
Avenger: Cor.
Cut to Birdman reading, later.
Birdman: Birds lay eggs?
Birdman grabs a plate of green eggs and ham.
Birdman: A bird laid this?
Birdman eats it.
Birdman: Terrible, must read more.
Cut to later.
Book Guy: Um, sir...the book store is closed.
Birdman: So, I should get out?
Book Guy: No, I'm saying you're stuck for the night.
Book Guy leaves.
Birdman: Oh, crap.
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar: And the year after, Birdman became a rookie wrestler at an under-ground hate club called: "The Justice Hole".
Cut to the Justice Hole.
Tansut: And in the red corner, weighing 400 and 20 pounds...Birdman.
Cut to an audience staring at him.
Tansut: And in the blue corner, the ghost of all space ghosts, Space Ghost!
Birdman: Huh?
Cut to an audience staring at him. Zorak comes in a referee shirt.
Zorak: Listen, go crazy, and kill each other. That's why people are here, now let's get it on!
Birdman and Space Ghost blast each other.
Tansut: And we start the match with a good blasting!
Birdman then punches Space Ghost.
Tansut: OH! I haven't seen a punch this good since Mike Tyson throw a punch is Las Vegas some years ago.
Space Ghost kicks Birdman in the jaw.
Tansut: OH! Hot momma!
Birdman punches and kicks Space Ghost in the crotch.
Tansut: Birdman goes off and hits a male's sensitive spot.
Birdman grabs Space Ghost and swings him around until he vomits all over Tansut.
Tansut: Vomit a lot there is! Isn't that right, Lokar?
Lokar: Oh, yes Tansut: A rookie wrestler verses a rookie wrestler, now the fans are screaming for more!
Birdman blasts Space Ghost out of the arena.
Tansut: Whoa! Birdman wins! Birdman wins! Birdman wins!
Cut to the office.
Bob: Ray.
Birdman: Yes, Bob.
Bob: Listen, you've got 90,0000,0000,0000,000,000,000,0000.
Birdman: Really?
Bob: Yeah, since the fans like you, well...I'll give you a cheque.
Bob writes a cheque and gives it to him.
Birdman: That's a lot of money!
Bob: Yes, and that means you're fired.
Birdman: WHAT!
Bob: Oh well, I need to pay taxes, and your on psycho-level on money-giving packages, I need to fire you. It's legal.
Birdman: Oh, because I was going to sue you.
Bob: I know.
Birdman leaves.
Bob: Also, you don't look like a bird!
Birdman: I know, I'm just wearing a shirt with a bird on it.
Birdman is now outside and sees his Grandpa lying dead and a bunch of paramedics.
Birdman: Grandpa Trent!
Trent: Ray, I had a brain attack.
Birdman: A brain attack?
Trent: A man stabbed me in the brain, listen Ray...avenge me. Avenge me!
Trent dies.
Paramedic: Time of death, 10:18pm.
Birdman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Cut to Birdman in his basement.
Trent:(V.O): Avenge me, avenge me...Ray.
Birdman: Grandpa...I want to be a superhero.
Cut to Birdman sketching.
Birdman: Not Birdie, not Birdie enough...got it.
Cut to Birdman in his trademark outfit.
Birdman: BIRRRRRRRRRRRRDMAN!
Cut to Lokar in his chair.
Lokar: And so, Birdman was born. When we came back, we'll show the rest of Birdman's "dark" history.
Birdman: That's it; I'm going to sue the network over this.
Lokar: You do that.
Cut to commercial.
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar: Hello, darlings! It's me, Lokar Locusta, back from the bathroom break...in the toilet, don't worry. Now, the conclusion of Birdman's "Sad Times".
Birdman: Seriously, everyone's going to know about me.
Lokar: Like, who cares?
Cut to Birdman (in his trademark outfit).
Birdman: Uh, I feel so comfortable!
Birdman flies out the window.
Birdman: Time to save the lives of many, like I always dreamed.
A bank robber comes out with 10 sacks of money.
Bank Robber: Nobody tell the police or Batman, or Superman, or Aquaman or Black Vulcan, or all of those stupid Justice League or Justice Friends.
The Bank Robber runs then sees Birdman.
Bank Robber: I said no...what's your name?
Birdman: You didn't see don't tell BIRRRRRRRRRDMAN!
Bank Robber: Birdman? You're that wrestler guy in "The Justice Hole"!
Birdman: I'm not fighting for entertainment; I'm fighting for the people of New York!
Birdman beats up the bank robber and blasts him. Birdman then gets the 10 sacks of money, Cyclo comes.
Cyclo: Birdman, you're under arrest for suspicion of robbing the New York Bank.
Birdman: Cyclo, I thought you were in jail.
Cyclo: I was, but now I get released every now and then to help the police.
Cyclo takes Birdman in the police car.
Cyclo: Are you a stalker?
Lokar:(V.O): Birdman then was sentenced to jail for four years. When he was released, Birdman came across Bob, the guy who fired him.
Bob: Hello Ray.
Birdman: Hello Bob.
Bob: Listen, I heard you were just released from jail, want to star in a new show about your superhero life: "Birdman and the Galaxy Trio".
Birdman: You mean like a "reality" show?
Bob: Oh yeah, you'll be teamed up with the "Galaxy Trio", appear on the set, September 9th 1967, for rehearsal.
Birdman: But, I thought it was supposed to be "real".
Bob: Just rehearse; we're going to tape on September 10th.
Birdman: Let's just meet each other on September 10th?
Bob: OKAY!
Cut to the location.
Bob: Hello everybody, here's the star of the soon-to-be hit NBC show, Birdman!
Sylvia: Hi.
Meteor Man: Hi.
Bob: Now, the other guy will be other here soon.
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar:(V.O): Unsurprisingly, Birdman and the Galaxy Trio was cancelled. None of the less, Birdman started going out with Sylvia, and befriended co-star Birdboy otherwise known as "Peanut", he also got to know more about his mentor "Falcon 7" as he worked on the show as "Falcon 7".
Cut to Birdman.
Birdman: The show might be cancelled, but I had gained so much more, except the fact Sylvia started cheating on me with Phil.
Cut to Birdman and Sylvia on a date.
Birdman: So Sylvia, what do you want to order?
Sylvia: Um, how about chicken meat, dinosaur liver and my favourite "chicken soup" with hot mustard and some green stuff from China.
A waiter comes in.
Waiter: Madam, I jotted that down on my crappy piece of paper. Sir?
Birdman: Fried ice.
Waiter: Rice.
Birdman: No, ice.
Waiter: Okay, fried ice. Anything else?
Birdman: This "Mad cow burger" everyone is talking about. Ice cold soup and snow cones and hot cross beef.
Waiter: All bad choices sir, I'll be right back,
The waiter walks out.
Sylvia: Can you believe our show is cancelled?
Birdman: Oh, yeah, Bob must be spinning in his grave.
The waiter comes back with all the food.
Waiter: Everyone's food is ready, Mr. Birdman and Ms. Red-haired girl.
Sylvia murmurs. The waiter drops every down.
Waiter: Now Harvey...
Birdman: No, my name is Ray.
Waiter: Harvey sounds better, Harvey Birdman.
Birdman: Harvey Birdman?
Waiter: Now pay the chunky bill!
The waiter throws a big, fat bill at him.
Birdman: Okay, I saved up all my money from my show.
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar: And who would've thought Birdman and Sylvia would get married?
Birdman: Well, we did. And it didn't work out.
Lokar: Do you want ratings or to be cancelled?
Pause.
Birdman: I'll be good.
Lokar: And in 1995, after the two pilots Birdman filmed failed...he got married to his true love.
Cut to the wedding.
Priest: Do you, Harvey Birdman, take your lawful fiancé, for richer or poorer, to be your wife for a couple of years?
Birdman: I do.
Priest: And do you Sylvia, take Harvey Birdman has your husband for as long as you'll love him and stuff.
Sylvia: I do.
Priest: In the state of New York, as long as you love each other, I say you're both married, next wedding!
A photo gets taken. Cut to McDonalds.
Sylvia: What did you go to "New York's Gaming House" for our wedding?
Birdman: Today is the day the wedding is 95 percent off!
Sylvia: As I keep thinking about it, it's not going to be anytime soon you'll surprise me with family and friends and Will Estes coming out of a cake.
Birdman: Will Estes? What do you see in him? You're married to a superhero!
Sylvia: An ex-superhero.
Birdman: That's not true, just because I'm not as famous as I used to be, but it doesn't matter.
Sylvia and Birdman kiss.
Birdman: Now that's a kiss.
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar: As you guessed, after awhile...Sylvia started cheating on him with Falcon 7 or Phil.
Phil: Ha, ha. Affair.
Lokar: Birdman and Sylvia continued there marriage until 2000.
Cut to Birdman.
Birdman: The marriage only lasted 6 years, because of Sylvia's cheating heart. I tried to be a host for Space Ghost Coast to Coast when I had a chance, but it still didn't work out.
Cut to divorce court. Judge Mightor is presiding.
Birdman: I want custody of my son, Zorbird.
Judge Mightor: Why do you reckon Zorbird should be put to your custody?
Birdman: Because, Sylvia is trying to make him to a woman. I would chain him up in my crappy old apartment so he'll learn the meaning of the word "isolation".
Judge Mightor: That is considered child abuse, but since his a bird/mantis thingy, it doesn't count and I always enjoyed torture.
Judge Mightor grabs his gavel.
Judge Mightor: I grant Harvey Birdman custody of Zorbird Randall!
Judge Mightor bangs his gavel.
Sylvia: Just because I'm trying to nurture his feminie side, doesn't make him gay!
Birdman: I'm not homophobic; I just find it disturbing that there is a thing called: "Gay people".
Judge Mightor: Taken to record.
Birdman: And shouldn't a father be around his son?
Sylvia: Yes! Oh, who cares?
Birdman: Me.
Judge Mightor: Listen Birdman gets his stuff, and you get your stuff.
Birdman: Since I gave birth to him, that makes him apart of my "stuff".
Judge Mightor: Huh?
Birdman: I performed oral sex on a she-mantis in 1995, okay.
Sylvia: You cheated on me!
Birdman: Space Ghost forced me too!
Sylvia: If Space Ghost tells you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?
Pause.
Birdman: Yes.
Judge Mightor bangs his gavel.
Judge Mightor: I stand by my decision and that's final! Good day, you're officially divorced!
Judge Mightor bangs his gavel.
Judge Mightor: Case dismissed.
Sylvia and Birdman stand and leave.
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar: Birdman then went to law school. He failed, but since he knows the "legendary" Falcon 7, he got a job at Falcon 7's law firm "Sebben, Sebben".
Cut to Birdman.
Birdman: Yeah, I knew Falcon 7, then BAM! I passed the test even though if I didn't know him, I would have gotten an "F ".
Phil comes in.
Phil: Yes, thank God for me!
God:(V.O): Yeah, right.
Cut to Lokar.
Lokar: So, Birdman now works as a lawyer and a talk-show host. "Birdman Coast to Coast" will be back to normal next week, and if you tuned in for all of it, I'm very proud of you! Nobody likes Lokar, because Lokar "sucks", I mean c'mon! I'm the most intelligent person here!
Birdman walks in.
Birdman: Well, according to Bob...you don't match the RIGHT demographic.
Lokar: What demographic am I supposed to reach?
Birdman: "18-39", you reach the "50-100" demographic.
Lokar: WHAT!
Birdman: Yes, I know...shocking.
Lokar: That's it! I'm leaving!
Birdman: That's nice.
Lokar: My talent is not noticed by the idiot Bob!
Birdman: You're on Space Ghost Coast to Coast?
Pause.
Lokar: Listen Birdman, I'm tired as Hell let's just end the show with "Birdman" bloopers.
Birdman: No...way!
Lokar: Yes.
Birdman: No!
Lokar: Ye...
End credits.