Birdman Coast to Coast
Unaired
Cut to Lokar sitting on a comfy chair.
Lokar: Greetings fellow Earthlings, Lokar here of Birdman Coast to Coast. The Birdman crew made a lost 14th episode for the first season, it was finally recovered and is going to be aired in a few seconds, in a matter of you pathetic Earthlings get your weekly Birdman fix on the Adult Swim. This episode involved me reading out my Hate List, and it offended a quite number of people, which was why is was banned, but, who cares? I'm rambling on, here's your itty, bitty stupid Birdman Coast to Coast, and I can't believe it got a second season over mediocre scripts. Eh, who knows any more?
Opening credits.
Phil: Tonight on Birdman Coast to Coast, three stars of cancelled NBC show "American Dreams", there's idiot Will Estes, Vanessa Lengies and Brittany Snow. Ha, ha! Will Estes is gay!
Cut to the set. Birdman crashes in.
Birdman: I'm BIRRRRRRRRRRRDMAN!
Birdman looks at his feet and starts "ice-skating" to "fairy" music.
Phil: What is he doing?
Peanut: I don't care, it's funny!
Birdman: I'm Birdman, Birdman am I! That's right I'm Birdman, Birdman am I.
Lokar: What the Hell?
Jan: Jesus, his a pretty good ice-skater.
Jace: Even though his not skating on ice.
Cut to Reducto on a "hover-van".
Reducto: His dancing like an idiot!
Cut back to the set.
Birdman: Birdgirl, Birdgirl, give me an answer do! Am I crazy, or is your eye-sight hazy.
Peanut: Your eye-sight is hazy!
Birdman: My eye-sight is hazy, or is it that I'm mazy.
Peanut: Why is he mazy?
Birdman: GIVE ME AN ANSWER DO!
Peanut: What answer?
Birdman: Give me an answer, Peanut.
Peanut: What answer?
Birdman: Who's on tonight's show?
Peanut: Will Estes, Vanessa Lengies and Brittany Show.
Birdman: Oh, I get it.
Pause.
Birdman: Actually...I don't.
Peanut: It means you got some guys from a NBC drama series.
Birdman: NBC?
Pause.
Birdman: Wasn't that the channel that cancelled my show?
Peanut: I think so.
Birdman: Eh, ooh...well.
Pause.
Birdman: Who wants to go to Pizza Rent after the show?
Peanut: That play stinks.
Birdman: I know it stinks, I always thought it stunk.
Pause.
Phil: Ha, ha!
Birdman: Just laugh it up Phil, because now I want my first guest!
Phil: We've got Brittany Snow on the line.
Birdman: Send her in.
Brittany Snow appears.
Birdman: You like the new Broadway play "Pizza Rent".
Brittany: Umm...no.
Birdman: See, Brittany agrees with me...Pizza Rent sucks.
Peanut: Oh well...(grabs out a laser-rifle) I'm going to 'Nam.
Birdman: Tell your Grandma I said hi.
Lokar: He meant Vietnam.
Pause.
Jan: Okay, see you Peanut.
Jace: Bye-bye.
Lokar: Tar, tar...lover.
Birdman: You go to Vietnam, because bombs will be going off, and when you cry when Kim Jong IL kills you, don't come crawling to me.
Pause.
Phil: Umm...Kim Jong IL is in North Korea.
Birdman: But it's apart of Asia right?
Brittany:(laughing): I was in the movie "The Pacifier".
Birdman: That's nice, so Phil...tell me, is Vietnam part of Asia?
Brittany: I was also in the NBC show "American Dreams", which was going to be called "Our Generation".
Peanut: I'm leaving.
Peanut walks off.
Birdman: My star bandleader isn't going to Asia...they walk in there houses barefoot.
Lokar: No they don't.
Birdman: So they do!
Lokar: No, they don't!
Birdman: Get pricked by used needles.
Lokar: No, they don't! That's Japan.
Birdman: Well...Asia is overpopulated then...isn't that right Brittany?
Brittany: Um...yeah.
Birdman: Yeah, she agrees with me.
Lokar: Meg Pryor doesn't no anything!
Brittany: It's Brittany Snow.
Pause.
Birdman: Yeah, Lokar.
Pause.
Birdman: Obviously.
Jan: We want lines!
Phil: Yeah.
Jace: Shut up eye-patch boy!
Birdman: You get lines until I tell you to get lines!
Cut to Vietnam. Peanut is hanging around with army buddies.
Army Guy #1: I've got a sister and two kids at home, both with a horrific disease known as "Up Syndrome".
Army Guy #2: I'm married to my mother...
Army Guy #3: I have 1,000 wives, seven girlfriends and 200 kids and one puppy.
Army Guy #2: What about you Peanut?
Peanut: There's a girl in my workplace I work with.
Army Guy #1: Yeah.
Peanut: Named Jan, she wants me...she's alright.
Army Guy #3: Go for her, man.
Army Guy #2: You gotta say that 'cause you're a man-whore.
Army Guy #3: At least, I ain't married to my mother.
Army Guy #3 gets shot.
Peanut: Oh (HONK)!
A General shuffles in.
General: How am I going to tell 10,000 people and one puppy that Jerry's gone?
The General gets shot.
Peanut: Oh (CLOWN HORN)!
Army Guy #1: It's just me, Johnny and you Peanut.
Johnny: I hope my Mom doesn't miss me when I'm gone.
Peanut: Don't talk like that Johnny, tell me not to talk like that, Greg.
Greg: Peanut...his dead.
Greg gets shot by a machine gun.
Peanut: Oh, double (CHICKEN SOUND)!
Cut back
to the studio. Phil, Jan, Jace, Lokar and Avenger are holding picket
signs saying "We Want Lines, Ha, Ha", "No Lines, No Service",
"School of Socks",
"We Want Lines, Lover", "Caw Caw
Caw".
Birdman: Pfft, on strike. I can hire some interns.
Intern #1: Please, Mr. Birdman, sir I'm ever so nerdy!
Birdman: You peed in my coffee! I barely survived!
Phil, Jan, Jace, Lokar & Avenger: Hey everyone, Birdman's got to go.
Birdman: How about you, Snow? Up for the challenge?
Brittany: I reckon it'll be a nice gig.
Birdman: Okay, you're my director.
Lokar: I hate Ted Turner!
Birdman: Don't we all, now Brittany, a director is a man's job. Do you have enough carpet and melons to make up for the absence of a banana and two coconuts?
Brittany:(laughing): What?
Lokar: I pray Ted Turner's soul turns black and he melts into Hell where he'll be enslaved for all of eternity.
Birdman: That's not very nice, Lokar. Ted Turner can cancel us.
Lokar: No he can't! Because his dumb! Dumb like Satan, I plan to tie him to a flag pole...(while Birdman's talking) and throw needles at him, making him get Band-Aids, a new disease I just made up so he can die slow and painfully...
Birdman:(while Lokar is talking): So, Ms. Snow...congratulations, you're got the job.
Brittany:(while Lokar is talking): Thanks.
Lokar: And then suddenly die of the bird flu and vomit out his vital organs and pull out his body parts and show it to him and roll around in his blood ala Mortal Kombat which is spelt with a "K", it should be with a "C", because Ted Turner puts in $2.70 on budget for this show, and I hope Jane Fonda slaps him a couple of times and steal his money, so he can become a hobo and be on the streets and try and con people out of his money by throwing a baseball about he has no hand-eye coordination because he spent his time trying to invest in bras and learning how to be raped by 2 bears. The 2 bears then wanted to kill him and then he ran away so they eat the Six Million Dollar Man because he runs slower then Ted Turner, but he runs like a girl because he is a girl and has admitted his gay because he owns CNN and decides what's what because he reckons his all that. I hope someone pulls his brains out and shove it up his testicles so maybe he would know how to have sex with a tree, because the only people in his league are trees!
Pause.
Birdman: So, who wants to go to see Pizza Rent?
Cut to commercial. Cut to Vietnam. Peanut is shuffling in the grass.
Peanut: It's now everyman for himself!
Peanut blows off a robot's head.
Peanut: NO ROBOTS!
Army Guy #4: SORRY!
Cut to the studio as Birdman is talking to Brittany Snow.
Birdman: So Ms. Snow...
Cut to Jan, Jace, Phil, Avenger, Reducto and Lokar in the control room.
Birdman:(on monitor): I've heard you were in a movie called "The Pacifier".
Avenger: Cor...
Phil: Yeah, watch this...
Cut to the set, as Brittany Snow has Birdman's head and vice versa.
Birdman:(with Snow's head): Tell me about it.
Brittany:(with Birdman's head): I was in "The Pacifier" with big action star Vin
Diesel, he was such a nice guy.
Birdman: Wait, something's fishy going on...
Birdman flies off to the control room and sees that Brittany Snow has his head.
Birdman: What's going on?
Phil: We spliced your head onto Brittany's...
Reducto: And vice versa.
Birdman: What?
Birdman blasts the screen as there heads turn back to normal.
Birdman: Now you all go to Pizza Rent, or I'll explode.
Everyone leaves except Reducto.
Birdman: Why aren't you leaving, Myron?
Reducto: I've seen Pizza Rent, it was bad...
Birdman: Okay, I suppose you can help me out, I suppose.
Birdman flies off to the set.
Birdman: Reducto, you'll be my director. Send in Will Estes.
Reducto: It's pronounced "Estez".
Birdman: No, it's "Estes".
Reducto: It's pronounced "Estez".
Birdman: Whatever...
Reducto pulls the lever as clips from old episodes appear, including Birdman as the hulk from "Breakdown", a young Dr. Weird from "Sad Times", Zorbird being born from "Second Pilot", and Zorak is on the monitor and suddenly zaps into the set as the clips stop at Will.
Zorak: What's going on?
Birdman: Good, funnyman Zorak Jones is here.
Zorak: I'm funny-mantis.
Birdman: I thought you were a locust.
Zorak: So did I, apparently I'm a mantis.
Birdman: No kidding.
Zorak: Nope.
Birdman: Let's all go to the mountains.
Will: Okay, welcome me to the show Birdman.
Birdman: Welcome to the show, Will Estez...happy now Reducto?
Reducto: I'm never happy.
Will: Alright, thanks for being here, Bird master.
Birdman: It's Birdman.
Will: Bird Mormon.
Birdman: I'm from Earth!
Will: Birdguy.
Birdman: Getting warmer...
Will: Birdman?
Birdman: Correct, you win...nothing!
Will: Wow, thanks.
Zorak: I'm the lone mantis of the apocalypse, fear me when you see the night sky...
Zorak grabs out his pincer and shoots Birdman to the circus.
Birdman: Where am I?
Cut back to the set as Birdman flies back in.
Birdman: How's your carbon dioxide, Will...
A buzz sound is heard.
Birdman: Photosyntheses?
A buzz sound is heard again.
Birdman: Did I say carbon dioxide?
A buzz sound is heard yet again.
Birdman: Oxygen?
A "ding, ding, ding" sound is heard as a cheque falls down to Birdman's lap.
Zorak: I am the lone mantis of the apocalypse, fear when you see a blue moon.
A buzz sound is heard.
Birdman: I thought it was "when you see the night sky"?
A buzz sound is heard.
Birdman: What the f(BUZZ)?
Zorak: Yeah, when you see the night sky.
A "ding, ding" sound is heard again as Zorak grabs out his pincer and shoots Will Estes out of the monitor.
Birdman: What happened?
Cut to Will in the hall of Mirrors.
Will: Guys, where am I? Guys?
Cut to the others seeing "Pizza Rent".
Pizza Man: Mr. Willoughby, I want my money...
Others on Stage: We don't remember ordering this pizza with sausage!
Pizza Man: That's...that's...
Pizza Man faints as everyone laughs.
Phil: Ha, ha. Defecation.
Lokar: Pooping on a pizza? How hilarious? It sucks.
Cut to the set.
Reducto: I've got a shrink gun.
Will is in the hall of mirrors on the monitors as he mimes.
Birdman: Will, do you know how to get out?
Will: Um, where am I?
Reducto: I can shrink you.
Birdman: Quit pitching that idea.
Reducto: Back in my day, if someone in my village branded a shrink gun, he'll get a little respect.
Zorak: Shaddup!
Birdman: Shut up Zorak, it's your fault...
Zorak: I AM THE LONE MAN...
Birdman: ...tis of the Apocalypse fear when you see the night sky, heard you the first time.
Reducto: Thanks to you Zorak, we're in this mess.
Birdman: Listen you guys...
Will: Can I please have a latte?
Birdman: We need to get info out of Brittany Snow and Vanessa Lengies.
Zorak: Why?
Reducto: Don't you see, it's a conspiracy to rid of all the American Dreams stars, because the '60s pop culture was too much to handle.
Birdman: What?
Reducto: Oh yes, I can see a Sorcerer mastering armies of underground henchmen zombies ready to rid the world of American Dreams stars, because they're 60s' historians and the 60's pop culture was way too much to handle.
Birdman: You're kidding me?
Will: Where's that intern with my latte?
Intern: Sorry Mr. Estes.
Birdman, Zorak, Reducto: ESTEZ!
Intern: Sorry.
Birdman: Get some info from Snow and Lengies, and don't get involved with them, romantically...clear?
The rap song from "Deadomutt Pt 2" of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law starts playing as the screen says: "One year later" as Zorak has black suit on, white shirt and blue tie as a priest reads from a bible.
Priest: Zorak Jones, do you take Brittany Snow to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Zorak: I do.
The screen now says: "5 Years later" as green babies are crying as Reducto stares at them, and Vanessa watches from a monitor.
Reducto: The babies are 3 months old, time for their first shrink gun?
Vanessa: Okay.
Reducto hands one of them a shrink gun as they shrink Vanessa.
Reducto: NO SHRINKING YOUR MOTHER!
Screen says: "300 years later" as the song stops. Birdman is writing on a Chinese keyboard, with a long grey beard as Will sits in the Hall of Mirrors, bored.
Birdman: I'm trying my best, Will.
Will: Your best, isn't your best enough.
Birdman: Shut up, you c...
Zorak:(older): Confetti hotplate.
Reducto:(older): Yes, confetti hotplate.
Birdman: I'm writing in Chinese Morse code to release you Will.
Will: Can I talk about my new show?
Birdman: Oh man, what am I doing wrong?
The garage door to the set begins opening and stops half-way through.
Birdman: Who's there?
Pause.
Birdman: I said who's there?
The door goes down and begins opening up again and stops half-way.
Person: How do I do this thing?
Birdman: Press red, blue, red, blue, blue and red.
Person: Thank you.
The door goes down and opens up all the way and reveals Warren (the hedge-bush from SGC2C) as he wobbles in.
Warren: Gettin' Will Estes trapped in the Hall of Mirrors.
Zorak: Warren.
Dramatic chord.
Gay Person:(V.O): WHAT IS GOING ON?
James Bond-type music comes on.
Singer: Yes, the bush with the hand of an eel, who wants you to feel, the way of the world, the way of the world. You better die another day, die another day...because, the world is not enough for Goldfinger.
Warren wobbles up to the desk as the music stops.
Warren: I'm host of "The Warren Show", eighth season baby.
Birdman: That's nice...
Warren: I know someone who can help you setting Will free.
Birdman: But why Warren?
Warren: I dunno, after 307 years, I fought you may need some help.
Birdman: Okay, thanks.
Warren: After so long, I've decided to lead you to my cave to conjure up Gary Owens, the Space Ghost replicator.
Birdman: The replicator?
Warren: Yes...replicator. I'll take guard of your set while you go on the Bush Planet.
Birdman: C'mon you two, time to conjure up a joker.
Pause.
Birdman: Anyone got a car?
Zorak: I've got a car...no wait, yeah...I do.
Cut to Birdman, Zorak and Reducto driving in the Phantom Cruiser.
Birdman: Gary's going to help us, Gary's going to help us...
Zorak stops that the Bush Planet as they all walk through the cave.
Birdman:(V.O): Let's sing a camp song.
Cut to Warren in the set with Zorak's pincer.
Warren: Tell me where is the lost American Dreams epilogue.
Will: What are you talking about?
Warren: My plans of becoming the number one American Dreams fan and taking over yet another show will soon come to place!
Cut inside the cave as Birdman, Reducto and Zorak look around.
Birdman: Where's Gary?
Zorak: His in a cauldron from across the hall.
Birdman: Let's conjure up this replicator.
Cut to Zorak, Birdman and Reducto standing around the cauldron.
Zorak, Birdman, Reducto: Hum, Gary...hum, hum Gary, hum...hum Gary, hum!
Zorak: We gotta hold hands to make this thing work.
Birdman: Kidding.
Birdman and the rest start holding hands.
Zorak, Birdman and Reducto: Hum, Gary...hum Gary, hum...hum Gary hum.
Gary appears in the form of Space Ghost like in "Warren" the SGC2C episode.
Birdman: It's working!
Gary: Hello, I'm Gary Owens.
Birdman: The replicator.
Gary: That's right, why have you come for me?
Birdman: To get the dirt on you, when you're ready to wrap, really ready to get real, call me.
Zorak: Where's my pincer?
Gary: I do not know what you are talking about.
Birdman: Will Estez ring a bell.
Gary: Actually, it's "Estes".
Birdman: Warren sent me over to you.
Gary: Will is stuck in the hall of mirrors.
Birdman: Because of Zorak's pincer.
Zorak: Where's my pincer!
Birdman: I wish you didn't have your pincer when you shot Will Estes to the circus.
Gary: To free Will Estes, give me your soul.
Birdman: Space Ghost, is this you?
Gary: I'm not who you think I am.
Birdman: You're Space Ghost impersonating Gary.
Gary: I'm really of a man of steel.
Birdman: Space Ghost.
Gary: I am...
Long pause.
Space Ghost: SPACE GHOST!
Dramatic chord.
Zorak: Where's my pincer?
Space Ghost: You must hurry up and free Will Estes, his stuck in the Hall of Mirrors.
Reducto: We know.
Space Ghost: I do not now, except the Sorcerer is after Will Estes, because only he apocalyptic key to the world to cause abrupt chaos and destructon, that's all I know, you must put the puzzles together, but I heard that the Frog King of the Mystic Frog Planet knows.
Birdman: Let's go everyone.
Cut to Zorak, Reducto and Birdman in the Phantom Cruiser.
Birdman: This is going to take awhile.
Zorak: You think?
Reducto: Where's my shrink gun?
Birdman lands the ship on the Mystic Frog Planet. Cut to the gang at a rap concert as frogs are dancing to the beat.
Zorak: Oh man, is this weak, or is this weak?
Pause.
Zorak: Is it?
Pause.
Birdman: It's weak.
Cut to commercial. Cut to the set.
Warren: Will, where is the key?
Sorcerer: Master, Vanessa Lengies won't budge either.
Warren: That's because you're not trying hard enough!
Will: Where's my latte?
Warren: The lost epilogue and the key are in your possession Will, tell me where it is?
Sorcerer: I can't do this...
Warren: To Hell, you can't!
Warren shoots the Sorcerer with Zorak's pincer.
Warren: You get information from Snow, or I'll give you something to not do about!
Cut to the older Phil, Jan, Jace and Lokar wearing "Pizza Rent" jackets, sitting in a round room.
Phil:(drinking a latte): This sucks.
Jan: I think we should go back, we've been on tour with Pizza Rent for 307 years, and I think Birdman Coast to Coast should be cancelled by now.
Lokar explodes.
Phil: Damn.
Phil takes another sip of the latte. Cut to a old Peanut in the hospital room.
Nurse: Peanut, the long 307-year Vietnam war is over, you can go home now.
Peanut: Yep, and I think Birdman Coast to Coast should be cancelled by now.
Cut to a split screen with Jan and Peanut on the two sides.
Jan & Peanut: But we'll check just in case.
The screen is put back to one as Birdman, Zorak and Reducto are inside a castle populated by frogs as a Frog King approaches them.
Frog King: Master Birdman, Master Zorak and Master Reducto...I've been expecting you.
Birdman: Yeah, how do I free Will Estez before the Sorcerer gets the key?
Frog King: Yes, Space Ghost meant to tell you that Warren and Sorcerer were partners and crime. The way of setting Will free is to shoot him again with the pincer.
Birdman: So, Warren and Sorcerer...might have the key as we speak?
Frog King: Yes.
Pause.
Birdman: STUPID (CHAINSAW SOUND)ING SPACE GHOST, THAT (CAR CRASH SOUND)WIT! I HOPE HE ROTS IN (EXPLOSION SOUND)ING HELL!
Cut to Birdman, Zorak and Reducto in the Phantom Cruiser.
Birdman: Stupid Space Ghost...
Zorak: That moron.
Reducto: Where's my shrink gun?
Birdman parks the Phantom Cruiser in the studio as Birdman, Zorak and Reducto walk in the studio halls.
Birdman: I'll give Warren and that stupid Sorcerer what for.
Birdman presses "red blue, red blue, blue red" as the garage door opens as Birdman, Zorak and Reducto walk in and see Warren, Sorcerer, Peanut, Jan, Jace, Phil and Lokar's corpse.
Birdman: Um, what is going on?
Jan: The show has been on for 307 years!
Birdman: Yeah...I suppose it has.
Pause.
Warren: Hello Birdman, I'll let you witness me taking over your show for world domination and having the apocalyptic key to the world to cause abrupt chaos!
Will: What? Oh...that key? Oh yeah, I gave it to Gail O'Grady before the show.
Warren: What! Where is she, send me Gail O'Grady...
Lokar:(V.O): HEY WARREN! DOMINATE THIS!
Lokar walks in and kicks the other Lokar's corpse aside.
Phil: Lokar...you're alive?
Lokar: And kicking baby!
Warren: What?
Lokar grabs out a sheet of paper.
Lokar: Please listen to my ten top most hated list...
Birdman: While Lokar reads his thing, you Zorak must go off and grab the pincer off Warren and shoot Will out of the hall of mirrors, got that?
Lokar: Number ten, my high school prom date, number nine, David Letterman for thinking this up before me, number eight...
Zorak sneaks over and grabs the pincer as Warren "stares" at Lokar.
Lokar: My dad for making fun of me for being gay, number seven, Avenger for doing me harm...
Avenger: Caw.
Lokar: Number six, the dry cleaners because now I have to fit in a size 12, number five, Simon and Garfunkel for rejecting my song, number four my Mom for also making fun of me for being gay, number three my ex-girlfriend for cheating on me and making fun of me for being outed at the dance, number two, Ted Turner...and (drum roll) number one...Birdman.
Zorak shoots Will out of the hall of mirrors and is back on his normal seat, the screen flashes and changes the transmission to Vanessa.
Warren: WHAT! OH NOW!
Zorak: Say goodbye Sorcerer and Warren.
Zorak shoots them both with the pincer.
Zorak: See you in Hell.
Vanessa: Hi Birdman.
Birdman: Whatever...
Vanessa: I want to talk about my latest movie...
Birdman shoots her off the screen.
Birdman: What a 307 years.
Phil: Yep.
A screen caption then pops up and says "307 Years Earlier" and then disappears as everyone ages down to there normal age.
Birdman: Let's just try to forget this all happened.
Cut back to Lokar on the comfy chair.
Lokar: And so they did, Birdman went on with his lawyer career and talk show host status, but now we won't now forget this because we just aired it without his permission and there's slight chance he might find out and sue us. But who really cares what I think, Lokar's just that gay bug that hangs around with Birdman, the show might be over, but before we roll the credits I want to promote my new book "Lokar's Book Full of 11 Books For the Mind".
Lokar pulls out a copy.
Lokar: 10 short stories for people who are depressed with life and wished it was all other with because they're sissies who are scared of rejection, like Ted Turner. The 10 stories are about life, tragedy, society, family, politics and there's a chance that Ted Turner might sue me because...I used his named without his permission. Silly me. The last story is a full-fledged novel about love between a man and a woman who realises he has feelings for the woman's friend who'll he do anything for while the woman finds out about their affair and dumps the man and pretends to be never again friends with the other woman she thought was her friend, and decides to go on a soul-searching journey for her real soul-mate while the man finds himself depressed, because he has no-one to talk to, no-one to listen to him, the other woman was more a sex object to him and misses his ex-girlfriend and finds out in a personality test that his gay and must learn how to control his emotional feelings for not letting anyone else find out about him outing himself out while the woman is on the time of her life. "Lokar's Book Full of 11 Books For the Mind" comes out this Tuesday, on Amazon, eBay and other internet markets and supermarkets such as Wal-Mart, Hot Topic, K-Mart, Payless and Target.
Birdman walks over to Lokar.
Birdman: What are you doing?
Lokar: Promoting my new book.
Birdman: New book? You couldn't write a book for your life.
Lokar: But I did Birdman.
Birdman: Oh did you.
Lokar: I forget to mention that that the book comes out this Tuesday and it costs $139.39, it's a long book and took over 33 months to publish and finish.
Birdman: You aired that episode without my permission didn't you?
Lokar: No.
Birdman: Yes you did.
Lokar: No I didn't.
Birdman: Yes you did, I overheard it in the cafeteria.
Lokar: Soooo...do you want to buy my book?
Birdman: Okay, what's it called?
Lokar: It's a new book about...
Birdman: Cut the dramatic crap, what's it called?
Lokar: Lokar's Book Full of 11 Books For the Mind! Out this Tuesday, all internet retailers and shopping malls, it costs $139.39...get one today!
Pause.
Birdman: I thought it didn't come out till Tuesday?
Lokar: So...you can pre-order.
Birdman: I don't have the money...
Lokar: JUST BUY THE BOOK!
End credits.