Birdman Coast to Coast
Law Suite
Cut to Birdman, Phil, Peanut and Avenger in the Mess Hall.
Birdman: Guys, remind me to neuter Avenger after the show.
Avenger: Caw?
Space Ghost and Spyro walk in.
Birdman: Space Ghost and Spyro? This ain't looking good.
Spyro hands Birdman a sheet of paper.
Birdman: Congratulations Mr. Birdman, the FCC are now suing you for unpaid fines from Broadcast Standards and Practises. What's this all about?
Space Ghost: I'm the FCC intern Birdman, and as the intern I check who's paid there fines and who's not, and I found your fine, accidentally resent back to us and since there were a lot of your fines unpaid, I decided to put two and two together and decided I'm going to sue you.
Birdman: What?
Space Ghost: Also, thanks to you, the great Master Emperor, ruler of the FCC has decided to censor every cable show to be family-friendly and if any cable stars have any complaints, they can mail you.
Spyro: C'mon Space Ghost, I've missed 2 minutes of my 5'o clock with the massage therapist.
Spyro and Space Ghost walk off.
Peanut: They're kidding right?
Pause.
Birdman: So anyway, we have to neuter him ourselves, I don't want to pay no vet no money...
Opening credits.
Phil:(V.O): Tonight on Birdman Coast to Coast...is...is, well I don't know, don't look at me, oh wait...you actually CAN'T look at me, ha-ha, visually-impaired audience. Here's your host, Birdman.
Birdman walks in.
Bob:(V.0): Birdman, you were supposed to crash through the roof.
Birdman: Can't, the FCC is taking over my show and they're saying I should just walk in because crashing into the set brings a bad message to children or, something like that.
Bob walks in.
Bob: What? The FCC is censoring us?
Birdman: Yes, I brought the FCC...to basic cable.
Dramatic sting as everyone gasps.
Bob: Oh my...oh no, we can't do any sick jokes or violent scenes or snippets of sex scenes or oral sex jokes making fun of you or suggestive dialogue, oh God.
Birdman: Thanks to the FCC though, this episode got a pretty good TV-G rating, the family-friendliest any episode has ever got.
Bob: So? Which kid is watching this show at 10:00pm, c'mon! I'm getting you some lawyers.
Birdman: Lawyers? I am a lawyer.
Bob: And a ba...good one in that. But we just need to spruce up your lawyer abilities by hiring some other lawyers.
Birdman: Like whom?
Bob: Greta Van Susteren, Courtney B. Vance and Stephanie March.
All that was mentioned appear on the monitor, sitting on seats next to each other.
Greta: I'm Greta Van Susteren.
Courtney: I'm Courtney B. Vance.
Stephanie: And I'm Stephanie March.
Greta, Courtney, Stephanie: Hello Birdman.
Birdman walks over to his desk.
Bob: Hi guys, remember me.
Courtney: No, I don't remember Stephanie...
Stephanie: Maybe, maybe if you pay me enough money.
Stephanie laughs.
Greta: I've been on Space Ghost Coast to Coast, and I was told about this character known as Birdman.
Bob: It's me Bob.
Greta: Bob, who's Bob?
Birdman: Your mamma, I'm Birdman. And I'm wondering about getting some lawyers to defend my case with the FCC.
Stephanie: The FCC?
Lokar: Birdman, me and Jan are going to a hotel suite nearby Taco King.
Birdman: Since when did you and Jan started hitting it off? I thought you were gay.
Lokar: Yes, I am happy.
Pause.
Birdman: Oh well, you two have a good time. I don't want you to get involved with the FCC as well.
Cut to Lokar wearing a nice tuxedo with a set of keys.
Lokar: Don't worry, me and Jan will have a good time on our fourth date.
Lokar walks off.
Jace: Birdman?
Birdman: Yes, Jace?
Jace: Can I go with them.
Birdman: Sounds like it's going to be romantic.
Jace: I know.
Birdman: Sounds like it'll be pretty steamy.
Jace: I know.
Birdman: Tuxedo, didn't you see that wonderful tuxedo?
Jace: Can I go follow them?
Birdman: Why?
Jace: I don't want Jan to be upset if Lokar dumps her with his gayness.
Birdman: Oh man...the jealously bug has struck.
Jace: To make sure she doesn't see me, I'll go in the hotel in the nude.
Birdman: As a nudist?
Jace: Yeah, because I felt like it.
Jace strips as his "Mr. Winkie" is blurred as he runs off as Peanut walks in wearing a Peanut-shaped costume.
Peanut: Birdman, please tell me why the stupid FCC dressed him this way with their robot tailor.
Birdman: A robot tailor...right.
Phil walks over to Peanut.
Phil: I think you look kinda hot.
Pause.
Birdman: A robot tailor...right
Peanut: It's true.
Stephanie:(laughing): A robot tailor.
Phil: Wanna have a mouth workout after the show in the showers.
Peanut: I feel stupid.
Courtney: Maybe that's because you are stupid.
Birdman: That was uncalled for, Mr. B. Vance.
Phil: Has anyone ever told you, you have a nice ass.
Birdman: Are you that insensitive Mr. B. Vance, apologize for that remark.
Phil: PEANUT'S HOT, YOU DAMN BASTARD! Okay, who wants to go to Wal-Mart after the show?
Pause as everyone stares at Phil.
Birdman: Wal-Mart?
Courtney: Hot Topic.
Stephanie: Payless.
Greta: K-Mart.
Peanut: Your mamma!
Courtney, Stephanie and Greta laugh.
Courtney: Kool-Aid drink!
Phil kisses Peanut, passionately.
Birdman: Whoa, now there's a man kiss.
Peanut: Thanks Phil, I was actually starting to lose my breathe a bit. Thank God, someone knows about CPR.
Peanut walks off.
Phil: I hit, I hit, I hit...I'll never be the proper Lokar replacement!
Bob walks off.
Bob: I feel like I'm going to vomit.
Cut to a Hotel room as Lokar and Jan both walk, drunk-like.
Jan: I had a good time tonight, Lokar.
Lokar: Me too Jan, who knew opposites could attract.
Jan: You know what they say...
Lokar: Opposites attract.
Jan: No...but, let's do something wicked and wild.
Lokar: Oooh, pour hot mustard and honey all over the salad and pour beer into the bowl and drink and eat it at the same time then vomit on room service!
Jan: No, I have a better idea...(starts whispering in Lokar's ear as he starts getting excited)...
Lokar: Really? With sprinkles on top?
Jan: No, just me naked with whipped cream all over me.
Jace runs in, naked (and blurred) still.
Jace: You better not miss with my girl, Lokar Lloyd Locusta!
Dramatic music comes on.
Narrator: Will Birdman win his battle with the FCC? Will Jan and Lokar hit off like intended without jealous Jace in the way, and will Phil win Peanut over. All this and more after the break.
Stephanie: What about us?
Narrator: Yes, what about you...
Cut to commercial. Act 2. Cut to Phil sitting on Birdman's desk as Birdman just stares at him.
Phil: How come Peanut won't go out with me...
Birdman: Phil, what are you trying to do?
Phil: Win Peanut over.
Birdman: You know what I did to win over Gigi, bathe in front of her naked in roses. It should work for you.
Phil: Really? You think that'll work!
Birdman: Yeah...
Phil: Thanks Birdman...
Phil walks off.
Birdman: I really didn't do that.
Courtney: You didn't?
Birdman: Nope, got it from my Kevin Spacey DVD collection.
Greta: Yeah...
Birdman: It was a movie called "American Beauty"...look, a plastic bag!
Cut to a plastic bag blowing around in the set.
Birdman:(V.O): It's so beautiful and magical, it's...it's dancing with me! It's telling me..., it's telling me there's nothing to be afraid of...
Cut to Lokar wearing a robe lying in bed.
Lokar: Jan, come to bed, Jan...
Jan:(V.O): Just a minute, I gotta get some whip cream on.
Lokar: I love seductive whip cream on a naked lady's body,
Jan walks in with whip cream covering most of her bare body as she jumps on to bed.
Jan: Do you feel excited...
Lokar: I feel more then excited...
Jan: Lick it...
Lokar: You don't mean...
Jan: Lick it, lick it good.
Lokar proceeds to try and lick her boob covered with whipped cream as it cuts to a hillbilly-like person in a corn-farm.
Hillbilly: Hahahahahahha, now here's Cooter.
Cut to Phil bathing in a roses as Peanut enters in his Peanut-costume.
Phil:(sexily): Come in here, Peanut.
Peanut: What?
Phil: I now have bi-sexual urges, so...suck it dry.
Peanut: WHAT!
Phil: Suck it...
Peanut: I don't swing that way, Phil.
Phil stands up angrily, with most of his body still covered in roses stuck to him.
Phil: You suck my testicles right now mister or I'll never be gay!
Peanut: What? What the Hell are you talking about?
Phil: That's it; if you don't want me I'll get someone who'll appreciate my advances. I wonder if Tom Cruise is still available.
Peanut: Jan likes me, if she found out...
Phil: Jan is going out with Mr. Goody-Seven Shoes!
Peanut: What?
Phil: Also known as Lokar.
Peanut: Oh...what? I thought he was gay!
Phil: Proceed to suck you damn bastard!
Cut to a tunnel, the camera pans under the tunnel, through all the stairways which leads to a control panel with cameras with shows (including Birdman Coast to Coast which shows a clip of the episode "Breakdown" where Birdman is having sex with the cheerleader), as a black, dark figure with a evil robe-like clothing and a mask is watching as a medieval-type guard walks in.
Guard: Master Emperor, the Birdman Coast to Coast has not learned it's lesson, they have not negoatied to pay there fines or even reliated, it's like they don't care.
Master Emperor: Bad mistake, Birdman...if he does not pay in the right time that's in my mind right now, we shall fire missiles of destruction and unmentionable terror at his studios.
FCC suits walk in.
FCC Suit #1: Mr. Master Emperor, there's too much shows to censor now we're taken over censoring cable shows after the lack of competence in the Broadcast Standards and Practises administration was revealed after they allowed risqué scenes on that dumb talk show pass. I missed my son's little league game.
FCC Suit #2: I missed Nip/Tuck thanks to you...
A laser gun disincarnates FCC Suit #2 to dust as Master Emperor laughs like a complete madman.
Master Emperor: If any of you suits have anymore complaints, you can join John in Hell.
Everyone backs away.
Master Emperor: Birdman will pay...he shall pay...(dramatic music sting)...all of his fines.
Even stronger dramatic music sting. Cut to Birdman with letters all over his desk.
Birdman:(reading): Dear Birdman, up yours from Howard Stern, Dear Birdman, I hope you rot in FCC hell, signed Trey Parker & Matt Stone, FCC Hell?
Avenger: Caw, caw, caw, caw...oh caw, caw...caw...caw...
Birdman: I see, so all religions are fake even all the cults!
Avenger slaps himself with his claw.
Birdman: Dear Birdman, blank you, you blanking blanker! Signed blank...aka Alison Randall's sister, even my own Mom's sister which means she's my aunt is mad at me.
Stephanie: Hate mail?
Birdman: What about hate mail? That's what I'm getting, hate mail...
Stephanie: Oh, I see...
Birdman looks, puzzled.
Greta: Stephanie, you're hogging up the interview time...
Stephanie laughs.
Courtney: Listen guys, I've got shooting to do in a couple of ho...
Birdman: If you're all going to be like this, bye, bye.
Birdman blasts them all off the monitor.
Birdman: As they say in the classics, "Frankly, my dear, I don't really give a damn".
Cut to two FCC Swat members on top of a spaceship-sized sphere in orbit around Sunlight Studios.
FCC Swat #1: If he tries to say anymore copyrighted lines from old movies, give him a mouthful of letter.
FCC Swat #2 pulls out a bazooka and fires a huge package full of letters through the studios, into Birdman's mouth as he starts screaming muffled.
FCC Swat #2: That's a good boy...
Master Emperor appears in a radio watch on FCC Swat #1.
Master Emperor: Very good men, time to evacuate the Detroit FCC base and head to the FCC Headquarters near Jupiter, by boarding our ship.
FCC Swat #2: Yes, sir...
Master Emperor disappears.
FCC Swat #1: You heard Master Emperor, head to the FCC Headquarters near Jupiter.
The FCC Swat members head inside there spaceship and drive off in full-blast. Cut to the hotel as, as Jace (naked still) reads a magazine by the hotel door.
Jace: I don't care what this magazine says about Bill Clinton, his pretty gay to me...
A bellboy walks in with two suitcases.
Bellboy: Oh, George, thank God you're here.
Jace: I'm Jace Marshall.
Bellboy: Still going on an alias after being a fugitive from the government after you killed several animal meat by-product entrepreneurs for using Grade-A meat for a PETA protest.
Jace: No...
Bellboy: And still a nudist, eh? Fur is murder, hahahahaha that cracks me up.
Jace: Okay...
Bellboy: Anyway, here's Mr. Locusta and Ms. Christie's suitcases...
Jace: WHAT?
Bellboy: Still deaf, eh?
Cut to Birdman in his desk with Spyro on the monitor.
Spyro: And my clients, the entire FCC wish for you to pay all your fines, be their slave for a month, and have 90 percent of your income.
Birdman: But most of that income is for tax!
Spyro: Now it's 95 percent.
Birdman: Listen, slavery is against the law, the FCC can't get me to do squat.
Spyro: But they will keep censoring your shows and such, and I believe you must get a lawyer.
Birdman: Lawyer? Listen, those FCC punks want to start a highly technologic TV-G Kill Bill-kid-friendly style violence and war. They want a fight, they shall get a fight! I already single-handily brought down the MPAA to a bloody pulp.
Spyro: If by single, you mean the late Dr. Worm.
Birdman: Single-handily brought down the cheese shop for not accepting my counterfeit coupon with the naked man jacking off with a pig on it!
Spyro: I suggest you get a lawyer, Mr. Birdman, because I'm going to beat you, whether you like it or not, excuse I'm late for my 2'o clock.
Spyro disappears off the monitor.
Birdman: Man, that weirdo.
Phil and Peanut walk in.
Phil: Listen you, you didn't accept my advances, nor shall anyone accept your advances.
Birdman: Phil, what is happening with you?
Phil:(with Reducto voice): I tell you Birdman, my father...liked Hitler, really liked Hitler, then later on banged Marilyn Monroe and Mae West.
Phil grabs Reducto from behind his neck and throws him off.
Phil: I'm developing feelings for Peanut, okay...
Peanut: That's sick! I'm basically still a teenager you sick pervert!
Phil: It's what Lokar would've wanted...
Birdman & Peanut: Lokar?
Cut to Jan wearing a pink night gown and Lokar wearing a brown robe in there hotel room.
Jan: No wonder they call you the "Bed Master".
Lokar: They don't call me that...
Jan: They don't?
Lokar: They call me "Dr. Strangelove"...
Jace, walks in still naked with his suitcases.
Jace: Ms. Christie and Mr. Locusta, here's your suitcases.
Jan: Finally, we've been waiting for ages, we've had to live on our spare clothes we put in our plastic bags.
Jace: What?
Jan: And you're deaf, that's such a great service! Not!
Lokar: Listen buddy, just back away or I'll give your hotel a compliant of my own.
Jace: Jan, don't you recognize me?
Jan: Is that you Tom Selleck? Here to tell me that, that Magnum, P.I was just a bad dream I had.
Jace: No, it's me Jace.
Lokar: Jace, what are you doing here?
Jace: I'm here to tell Jan she's making a big mistake, pally.
Lokar: No, she's not...
Jace: Lokar is a gay locust, what if his gayness is rekindled.
Jan: What?
Lokar: Smashing what?
Jace: I mean, like...he was gay, but is straight now, he could be possibly gay again soon.
Lokar: Get your ass out of here!
Jace walks out of the hotel room as Jan slams the door on him, and then quickly opens it again.
Jan: Thanks for our suitcases.
Jan slams the door on him again. Cut to the FCC Headquarters, as FCC suits, guards, SWAT members and Master Emperor are inside sitting in a long wide table, with a picture of a naked women with black bars censoring it as the shot of space is shown through the windows.
Master Emperor: Ladies and gentlemen and bald-headed babies, I present...the new satellite which will receive TV transmissions before it hits the airwaves, which it'll automatically censor every show on the known universe.
FCC Suit #1: It's so crazy and devious and evil, it just might work.
Master Emperor: But, if the show has too many risqué moments to censor, it'll send a video message to us with a robot that's inside, programmed to censor the programs in the universe with the satellite, with a message of war.
FCC Suit #3: Wait, if there's some robot censoring every program airing known to man, what about us suits? Will we be laid off?
Every suit starts nodding and talking in agreement.
Master Emperor: While your job is taken, you shall be transferred to a new job for the FCC, to join the new formed FCC army with the reject SWAT members.
FCC SWAT Member #1: Would you not call us rejects?
Master Emperor pushes a button, which a trap door unveils with the chair and the SWAT falls in and engulfs in flames and screams for mercy.
Master Emperor: The first FCC target shall be the Birdman Coast to Coast crew, we'll destroy the set and put a "Cancelled" notice on their door while we'll show Birdman before he dies, the satellite which will be personally launched towards a black-hole, which it'll trigger a force field effect so the satellite isn't sucked in.
Dramatic sting. Pause.
FCC Swat Member #3: Is this the part where we laugh like madmen?
Master Emperor: Oh by all means.
They all start laughing as the camera pans out, it quickly pans back in the headquarters.
FCC Suit #4: What about the locust who's out with that girl? He owns half of the FCC in investments.
Pause as the intensity is built up as the camera pans on Master Emperor.
Master Emperor: Extra crispy.
Dramatic sting. Cut to commercial. Act 3. Cut to Birdman in the studio with Dr. Nightmare on the monitor.
Dr. Nightmare: So, the FCC is suing you for unpaid fines, which were meant to be sent to the Broadcast Standards & Practises.
Birdman: Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Dr. Nightmare: Who cares? The Broadcast Standards & Practises won't even let you say the "J" word unless as it's meant to pointed out as a object or a person, not to be used in vain some crap like that.
Birdman: Oh yeah, I see.
Phil: Why won't Peanut go out with me?
Peanut: Phil, I'm right here. Dr. Nightmare, the FCC forced me to dress up as a peanut by drugging me I think.
Dr. Nightmare: How would you know if you were drugged?
Peanut: When I woke up, they showed me a tape of me being drugged.
Dr. Nightmare: Whoa, did you still have the tape?
Peanut: I think so.
Dr. Nightmare: Good, the peanut costume boy has at least some sort of evidence of a drugging.
Birdman: The FCC Search and Destroy Vessels are have made several obscene threats. You should put that in.
Dr. Nightmare: Good, we've being trying to put that FCC to sleep since it first came out, but our argument of it being a evil corporation actually being a covered-up secret world domination crack team, but the government wouldn't believe us space lawyers. That's the Republicans for you.
Birdman: Let's hope the liberal party comes to action.
Pause.
Dr. Nightmare: I'm Democratic.
Pause.
Birdman: Oh.
Dr. Nightmare: People are focusing on too much on the Republicans and the Liberals, they forgot about the Democrats and the all angle on politics.
Birdman: Not amen.
Dr. Nightmare: What do you mean "not amen"?
Birdman: I'm not Democratic, I'm Liberal, I voted for John Kerry in 2004, Dr. Nightmare.
Dr. Nightmare: Oh, I didn't vote, they focus less on the democratic leader so I forgot who it was so I stayed home and tried to plan a way to kill Bush.
Birdman: Really? Rock the vote!
Dr. Nightmare: Make me!
Birdman: I'm a MTV guy, you know...
Lokar:(suddenly appears on monitor): I'm not!
Lokar gets replaced with Dr. Nightmare.
Dr. Nightmare: Listen, I'm a VH1 guy.
Birdman: Those are old school songs.
Dr. Nightmare: Matter of point, liberals suck.
Birdman: No, screw you.
Dr. Nightmare: Looks like someone doesn't want a lawyer.
Birdman: I want a lawyer.
Dr. Nightmare: You sure said it loud enough!
Birdman: What?
Dr. Nightmare: You don't want a lawyer.
Birdman: I never said that.
Dr. Nightmare: You said "screw you" in my "language" that means, I don't want a lawyer.
Birdman: Oh c'mon Dr. Nightmare, be reasonable.
Dr. Nightmare: Bye, bye Birdman.
Dr. Nightmare disappears from the monitor and is replaced with Spyro.
Spyro: Looks like you lost a lawyer.
Birdman: What? How do you know?
Spyro: The FCC are taping your space phone conversations.
Birdman: They can't do that!
Spyro: Yes they can, they can also install security cameras and get you automatically electrocuted if you swear.
Birdman: No it won't.
Spyro: C'mon Birdman, try it out.
Birdman: Okay then, f(BUZZ)! Oh god...that hurts like Hell.
Spyro: I told you but you didn't believe me.
Birdman: Please Spyro, be my lawyer.
Spyro: What a desperate loser! My clients are your enemies.
Birdman: But you can defend me...behind their back.
Spyro: How stupid can you get?
Birdman: Point is I've got the best lawyer in the southern western hemisphere of the world.
Peter Potamus enters.
Peter: Hey, Birdman, did you get that thing I sent ya?
Birdman runs over to him.
Birdman: This is my lawyer, Peter Potamus.
Peter: Hey Birdman, I ain't no lawyer. I just wondering if you got that thing I sent ya.
Spyro: Please tell me, what is that thing?
Peter: Your mamma, okay, I ain't telling.
Birdman: It's a package full of...
Peter: Shut up!
Birdman: Yeah whatever, you say...what is Peter doing now?
Cut to Peter near the airlock.
Peter: Oh, what's this?
Peter pushes the button and is sucked in space.
Spyro: Well Birdman, see you in court.
Birdman: No, why do you have to see ME at court. I'll see YOU at court.
Spyro: No, I'll see you.
Birdman: I'll see you.
Spyro: No, I'll see YOU in court!
Birdman: Not unless I'm there last.
Spyro: No you don't.
Birdman: I'll see you at court!
Spyro: Wait...we can't argue like this all day...
Birdman: Yes, this is stupid...let's have a race around the world.
Spyro:(V.O): Good idea.
Cut to Spyro in a plane, flying off.
Birdman: Did I forget to mention it was a walking race!
Pause as the engine gets louder.
Birdman: SPYRO! SPYRO! HELLO! SPYRO!
Spyro: THE TRANMISSION IS BREAKING UP!
The transmission breaks up, as it goes through static and lands on a screen with a picture of the bear off Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law getting shocked as it says: "Technical Difficulties, best call technical support at 555-34226".
Birdman: That's just great...
Peanut:(mockingly): You're going to lose!
Birdman: I know, that's the problem. But the poor bear on the screen, is dying slowly.
Cut to the FCC Headquarters as Master Emperor looks out the window.
Master Emperor: Space...it seems to go on for ages...Birdman will die a slow and horrible death, that'll make it all the but sweeter.
An alarm goes off as all of the FCC Swat Members (including the FCC suits who are now dressed in FCC Swat uniform) run off.
Master Emperor: Go to Sunlight Studios!
Cut to the exterior of the ship as individual smaller ships fly off with the Swat members inside them as the bigger ship drives off with Master Emperor and his guards.
Guard:(V.O): HEEEEEEEEEEEE HAW!
Cut inside Sunlight Studios as Phil walks up to Peanut.
Peanut: Phil, I've got nothing more to say to you.
Jace walks in the studio (still naked and blurred).
Phil: I've got nothing more to say to you either!
Phil runs off to Jace as he rubs his fingers against his chest, affectionately.
Phil: Hey hot stuff.
Jace: Can something please explain why there's a black bar on my ass.
Phil: I like a man with a little...mystery.
Jace: Lokar's straight and Phil's gay for me, has this world gone topsy-turvy!
Birdman: Three letters Jace, FCC.
Jace: What's the FCC doing censoring a CABLE show?
Birdman: I brought the FCC to basic cable by airing too much risqué scenes and stuff like that.
Jace: Oh...
All the FCC swat members, guards and then Master Emperor walk in through the door.
Birdman: How did you get through security?
Master Emperor: You mean that bear?
Cut to that bear clapping.
Birdman: Hey, the bear's still alive!
FCC Swat Member #5: We've going to destroy your set Birdman
Birdman: What? Just force me to pay the fine!
Guard: Right, let's bash there noggin!
A guard swings out a crowbar as Space Ghost walks in with a latte.
Space Ghost: Here you go, Master Emperor...
Birdman: SPACE GHOST!
Space Ghost: The very same, I'm now a QUALFIED intern, suck on Zorak's...again!
Birdman: NO thanks.
Master Emperor: Leave Zorak's man juice out of this, it's what caused this problem in the first place
Birdman: Ha Space Ghost, I bet you planned all of this didn't you!
Master Emperor: Who cares, let the highly technologic TV-G Kill Bill-kid-friendly style violence and war begin!
Everyone starts destroying the set.
Phil: Ha, ha...not funny.
Phil gets a chair thrown at him.
Phil: Oh God, if I die! I'm not gay...I just wanted Lokar's 50 bucks for this bet we both had.
Peanut & Jace: Bet?
Master Emperor: You can stop this madness Birdman, if you pay the fine!
Birdman: Never!
Lokar and Jan both walk in.
Lokar: What is going on?
Space Ghost: Everything's going to plan!
Jan: What did we miss?
Birdman: Not much.
Jace: Oh no, Jan and Lokar are making googly-eyes at each other.
Lokar and Jan start dancing to "Time of my Life" as everyone stops and looks at them, while everyone starts smiling as Jace, Phil and Peanut just stare.
Birdman: Yes, continue doing it! Continue!
Master Emperor: This lovely moment almost makes up for episodes of adult content.
Birdman: Does that mean?
Master Emperor: Yes, we have stopped the war and we'll put the Broadcast Standards and Practises back into business.
Birdman: Yes!
Lokar and Jan stop dancing.
Birdman: You did it you two!
Lokar: What? We were only practising for the big dance-off at Couples Night at the Taco King tomorrow.
Jace: Jan, I'm sorry I was so jealous. I think Lokar would make you very happy and Lokar, I'm sorry I called you "Gay-Boy" and "Home-brand".
Lokar: Thanks.
Space Ghost: But, but...you can't do that! That's just a cop-out! Cop-out! COP-OUT!
Master Emperor: Cop out this!
Master Emperor releases the airlock and Space Ghost gets blown into space.
Master Emperor: Let's forget about all this, and let's have a limbo contest!
Everyone: YEAH!
The song "Don't Phunk with My Heart" plays as everyone is lining up to go under the limbo.
Birdman: Thanks for not censoring our show anymore.
Master Emperor: Thank you for letting me neuter Avenger.
Cut to Avenger sweating.
Master Emperor: One step further to being a vet.
Avenger flies off as everyone laughs. End credits as song continues.