Birdman Coast to Coast
Terror Snake
(Cut to Birdman sitting on the desk.)
Birdman: Funny huh...guys like us with our own talk show. It's a testament to our pro-longed popularity.
(Cut to Phil in the control room.)
Phil: Well, according to the adult swim, we're just b-actors in their "actor library".
Birdman: I can't believe they said that!
(Cut to Peanut at the bandstand.)
Peanut: It's just a business; no way I'll fell like a b-actor in this particular gig.
Phil: Yeah, but b-actors? Birdman had a hit movie "Birdman vs. the Y2K" out that was number one at the box office...for one second.
Birdman: I did?
(A toy snake appears on the monitor.)
Snake: I am...the terror snake!
Birdman: Well, I suppose we should get the show underway and call Avenger, X, Birdgirl and Peter out.
Terror Snake: No you listen to me you (BLEEP)ing bitch! I'll kill your (BLEEP)ing ass you (BLEEP)ing (BLEEP) (BLEEP) and blow you up to little pieces of (BLEEP), you hear that bird (BLEEP) blow you up you (BLEEP)ing commies, (BLEEP) munchers! You stupid (BLEEP)! I can't believe I got censored for saying (BLEEP) that's (BLEEP)ing bull(BLEEP)! I mean, who pays attention to that word (BLEEP) anymore? Huh? No one that's who, you (BLEEP)ing censors out there censoring (BLEEP), (BLEEP), (BLEEP) and all those other words that are bleeped...like (BLEEP)...I got censored for saying (BLEEP), I can't say (BLEEP) and (BLEEP), (BLEEP) me...
Birdman: Do I know you?
Terror Snake: Why censor (BLEEP) for? That's bull(BLEEP)!
(Cut to the control room as Avenger flies on Phil's shoulder.)
Phil: Alright, alright...I'm off to the announcer booth.
(Phil walks off and Avenger flies on the panel as Birdman is on it.)
Birdman: Hey Avenger...get this weird talking toy snake off the monitor will you?
Avenger: Caw.
(Avenger pulls the lever as the snake disappears.)
Terror Snake: (BLEEP) you!
(Opening credits.)
Phil: Tonight on Birdman Coast to Coast, Will Ferrell...and that's it. Here's Birdman.
(Birdman is sitting on his desk.)
Birdman: Okay, Denis Leary, Ozzy Osbourne, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Sam Waterston, Howard Stern, John Krisufasci, Simon Cowell, Bob Odenkirk, 50 Cent, Lewis Black, Matt Groening, Stephen Colbert, Tom Kenny, Kathy Kinney, John Kerry, Erik Estrada, Enrique Galasesias, Shakira...
(Cut to a clip of X dancing to Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie". Cut back to Birdman.)
Birdman: Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, Kelly Clarkson, Carmen Electra, Pamela Anderson, Kelsey Grammer, Ted Turner, Yahoo Serious, Stephen King, Angus Grim, Glenn Danzig, Brittany Snow, Will Estes, Vanessa Lengies, David Cross, Greta van Susteren, Stephanie March, Courtney B. Vance, Tony Blair, Rowan Atkinson, Kenneth Williams, U2...those are all the people Space Ghost interviewed dressed up as me...
Peanut: If we didn't go back in time last week and change the timeline.
Birdman: Okay...just wondering.
Peanut: Who's tonight's guest...
Birdman: Yeah...who's tonight's guest?
Peanut: Will Ferrell.
Birdman: How did you know what I was going to say...?
Peanut: High-five Mentok.
(Mentok floats in wearing "bling" and a hat and sunglasses and high-fives Peanut and floats off.)
Birdman: Oh...I see. Avenger, send Mr. Ferrell in.
(Cut to the control room.)
Avenger: Caw.
(Will Ferrell appears on the monitor.)
Will: (opera-like voice) BIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDMAN!
Birdman: Um...er...yeah. Hi Will.
Will: Hello Birdman.
Birdman: Yeah.
(Terror Snake replaces Will from the monitor.)
Terror Snake: You're really pulling my (BLEEP)ing chain now, aren't you big boy who (BLEEP)s his (BLEEP) while eating his own (BLEEP) and... (BLEEP).
Birdman: This is a clean family show and I won't accept it on my show...
Phil: Birdman...it's rated TV-MA.
Birdman: Oh really...
Phil: Yeah.
Birdman: Then swear all you like.
Terror Snake: (BLEEP) (BLEEP) (BLEEP) (BLEEP) (BLEEP) (BLEEP)!
Birdman: Not too much now, we don't want to get in trouble with Standards and Practises.
Terror Snake: (BLEEP) Standards and Practises.
Birdman: Do you French-kiss your mother with that mouth?
Terror Snake: I'm psychic, (BLEEP)head!
Birdman: Oh really?
Terror Snake: You will die tonight...cock-muncher!
(Dramatic sting.)
Birdman: No I won't.
Terror Snake: (BLEEP) you, Birdman!
Birdman: Are you stalking me!
Terror Snake: I'm a good friend of X...the Eliminator.
(Dramatic sting.)
Birdman: Really?
(Cut to a clip of X dancing to "Hips Don't Lie". Cut back to Birdman in his desk.)
Terror Snake: I'm a (BLEEP)ing assassin who was hired from the group FEAR...to get rid of you. That's where I know X...the Eliminator.
(Cut to a clip of X dancing to "Hips Don't Lie". Cut to Phil in the announcer booth.)
Phil: Okay, that's getting annoying.
(Cut back to Birdman in the desk.)
Birdman: You're not an assassin; you're a cussing demented toy snake who won't leave me the (BLEEP) alone! Oh crap, I just got bleeped...it's contagious, thanks a lot.
Terror Snake: Don't (BLEEP)ing mention it.
Birdman: In a sarcastic way.
(Phil runs in with a wedding gown on and kisses Birdgirl.)
Peter: Did you get that thing I sent ya!
X: Whoa, look at that man, go!
Birdgirl: That's disgusting Dad!
Phil: That's right, I'm your daddy.
Birdgirl: (BLEEP) you. Oh (BLEEP) I got bleeped, you're right Birdman, it is contagious.
(Mentok floats back in wearing his bling, sunglasses and hat and knuckle punches X.)
Mentok: Give me the (BLEEP), g.
X: In a moment.
Birdman: Why are you paying Mentok the Mindtaker for?
X: His Shakira's agent, I'm paying for the rights to the song "Hips Don't Lie" so I can keep dancing to it in this show!
(Dramatic sting.)
Birdman: Really?
Terror Snake: GET HIS (BLEEP)ING HANDS X!
(Dramatic sting.)
Birdman: What the fudge-cakes!
(X rushes over and hand-cuffs Birdman.)
X: This is for those homies' bitches out there, bro!
Terror Snake: You all can (BLEEP)ing see what happens to that (BLEEP)ing (BLEEP)head Birdman after these (BLEEP)ing worthless (BLEEP) of (BLEEP)ing commercials. That's right, this (BLEEP)ing show will be right back...you (BLEEP)ing bitches!
(Cut to a full screen of Will Ferrell and there's a logo down the bottom reading: "A Night with Will Ferrell".)
Will: The reason I decided to do comedy, was because...my parents actually encouraged me to do it because, you know. I'm good at it. I got my start on "Saturday Night Live" that's where I become really popular, I thank "Saturday Night Live" for that, and thanks to doing "Saturday Night Live", um...my acting career grew and grew and grew and grew and become a really mainstream comedy actor. It came to the point where if it's a comedy movie, you'll see in me in it, it was contagious in that point, where...I was in almost every comedy. Yeah...I'm really good friends with Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Ben Stiller you know...the guys...why am I doing this (BLEEP)ing bull(BLEEP) interview.
(A person laughs in the background. Cut to commercial. Cut back to the full screen of Will Ferrell and there's a logo down the bottom reading: "A Night with Will Ferrell".)
Will: Um, where was this time when I was young...I had a freezer pop and it popped.
Person:(in the background) Is that real?
Will: No, not at all...not at all.
Person:(in the background) What about your voiceover work?
Will: Well, I did voices on "Family Guy"...and "The Oblongs", you know that show? Doesn't that show air on adult swim?
Person:(very faintly in the background) Yeah it is.
Will: It is, wow...really? Just like this bull(BLEEP) Birdman Coast to Coast.
(Person laughs hysterically.)
Will: Seriously, someone who thought it up must've been on crack, watched marathons of Space Ghost Coast to Coast and Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law...I (BLEEP)ing swear.
(Person continues laughing.)
Person:(V.O) I made this show.
Will: You did...you did...uh (BLEEP), may I going to get fined?
(Person continues laughing. Cut back to the desk as X is still behind Birdman, having handcuffed and "Terror Snake" is still on the monitor.)
Announcer: The last time we saw Birdman Coast to Coast.
(Cut to Birdman (with beard) on an island holding a TV with Will Ferrell on it.)
Birdman: Well Will...I don't think we'll survive here. We need help?
Will Ferrell: Oh dude...we're (BLEEP)ed!
(Cut to Phil and Birdgirl getting married when Birdman runs in.)
Birdman: I must stop this incestuous relationship!
Phil: What do you mean?
Birdman: Phil...Birdgirl is your daughter! I found out at a casino...
Phil: I HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS!
Birdman: No, Birdgirl is your daughter that was mi...
Phil: I don't want to live here anymore!
(Cut to Phil inside a floating bubble in space.)
Phil: That's better.
(Cut to Peanut in jail, smoking.)
Peanut: Am I going to get anally raped?
(Cut to Peanut getting anally raped against the bars, although a tad graphic, it's just tame compared to other scenes in TV shows that involve this. Cut to X dancing to "Hips Don't Lie" in a nightclub. Cut to Peter wearing ninja clothes fighting a gang of Mormons.)
Peter: TIME TO SEND YOU OUT YOU MORMON BASTARDS!
(Peter head-kicks a Mormon as he explodes. Cut back to the desk.)
Announcer: Now...the conclusion to..."Your Momma So Dumb, She Sat on the TV and Watched the Couch and Was Actually Entertained by This, She Also So Fat when She walked into a Strip Club They Paid Her to Keep Her Clothes On, A'ight".
Terror Snake: It's a hostile takeover Birdman.
Birdman: What do you mean?
X: The group FEAR not only wants you dead and your crest...they want the talk show.
Terror Snake: Yeah...bitch.
Birdman: I don't think that's going to happen!
(Birdman blasts out of the handcuffs and flies out the set)
Birdman:(V.O) BIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDMAN!
Peanut: Wings up Harvey...wings up.
Phil: Yes...wings up...that's a name of a show...Wings.
(Howard Wings from "Breakdown" walks in.)
Howard Wings: Did someone call me?
Peanut: Who are you?
Howard Wings: Well I'm that...
Peanut: Howard Wings guy?
Howard Wings: How did you...?
Peanut: High-five Mentok.
(Mentok floats back in and high-fives Peanut.)
Terror Snake: X, don't just stand there! Get Birdman!
X: I don't know where he went!
Mentok: If you don't get Birdman...I won't get you the rights to that song.
Peanut: Wait Mentok g...you ain't a good guy...no more?
Mentok: Not anymore...my Peanut.
Peanut: The name's...oh crap I've been called Peanut for so long I forgot my real name! (BLEEP)!
Phil: Hey you got bleeped too Peanut.
Peanut: I'm getting real tired of doing this show.
(Cut to the control room as Avenger is standing on the panel.)
Avenger: Caw caw caw!
(Will Ferrell appears on the monitor.)
Will: Um...you're a bird.
Avenger: Caw.
Will: Really?
(Phil runs in with his pants down.)
Phil: Bend over Avenger.
Avenger: Caw?
Phil: Bend over.
(Cut to Peanut in the bandstand.)
Peanut: You ever got rid of your problems with animals?
Birdgirl: What problems with animals?
Peter: His he going to come after me!
Peanut: If you mean "cum" after you.
Peter: I don't get it.
(Cut back to the control room.)
Will: And they are many reasons...I hate you Avenger.
Phil: PLEASE BEND OVER!
Will: You want me...to bend over?
Avenger: Caw caw.
Will: He wants YOU to bend over...okay.
Phil: You can understand him!
Will: Um...yeah I suppose.
Phil: I'm going to upgrade this ass...because baby like animal back.
Will: You like to have sex with animals?
Phil: Well, I don't tell this to people everyday but...it all started when...
(Scene dissolves into a flashback of Senor Phil petting Snagglepuss who's sleeping on his lap as Young Phil walks in.)
Young Phil: Papa...how come there's a pink cat on your lap.
Senor Phil: It's name is Snagglepussy.
Phil: (V.O) Ha ha, pussy! Anyway back to the story...
Young Phil: Ha ha, pussy!
Senor Phil: I anally raped this cat.
Young Phil: But why Papa?
Senor Phil: You're only seven...you don't know the meaning of the word "rape".
Young Phil: You're right...I don't. Why does it mean?
Senor Phil: It means I stuck my penis into this cat's ass.
Young Phil: That's disgusting Papa!
Senor Phil: A love between a man and an animal is nothing to be shamed of.
Young Phil: It isn't something to be ashamed of?
Senor Phil: Nope.
Young Phil: Does it hurt the cat?
Senor Phil: No...in fact it enjoys it. All animals enjoy it when you anally rape them.
Young Phil: Momma kept crying and saying she was "anally raped" by her boss yesterday...does it hurt people?
Senor Phil: No of course not, humans enjoy being anally raped just like humans.
(Cut to Young Phil "back-dooring" Huckleberry Hound.)
Phil: (V.O) I started anally raping everything in sight...
Young Phil: Dad...this feels weird!
(Senor Phil runs in with a shotgun and points it at Young Phil.)
Senor Phil: You'll do what I force you to do...
(Dissolve back to the past.)
Will: So...you only "like" animals is so you can make your father...proud of you?
Phil: I...suppose so.
Will: Listen, you can't go around pleasing everyone, because if you do, it's going to be a very boring world.
Phil: Okay...thanks.
(Senor Phil walks in with a walking stick.)
Senor Phil: You butt(BLEEP) that bird...or else.
Phil: I sucked on it's cock...doesn't that make you proud Papa?
(Senor Phil grabs out a gun and points it at Phil. Dramatic sting.)
Phil: Okay...
Senor Phil: Threesome...right now?
Will: What?
Senor Phil: Me, you and the bird.
Will: Oh thank God...what?
Senor Phil: Pull my pants down...
Phil: Isn't this a crime or something?
(Cut back to the set.)
Terror Snake: Get him X!
X: Well, it's kinda hard to get him when I don't know where he is!
Terror Snake: His probably on the Ghost Planet!
X: Ghost Planet.
Terror Snake: I know what you're thinking, what kinda of (BLEEP)ed up name is that for a planet?
X: Why are you so sure his in that planet?
Terror Snake: Because...I know someone.
(Cut to the Ghost Planet Commissary where Space Ghost, Moltar and Zorak are sitting at the table.)
Space Ghost: Isn't it weird...sitting here on this table again...after the show getting cancelled.
Zorak: Yeah...you know what I should do be...secretary of the state...of the United States of...Shelly.
Space Ghost: Who's Shelly?
Moltar: Zorak's girlfriend.
Space Ghost: Really?
Moltar: Yeah...I'm going to be the world's richest man and get my lava metal containment suit painted solid gold.
Space Ghost: I could've sworn both of these things happened...in a different timeline.
Zorak: Hey Birdman, how are you doing back there?
(Birdman walks up to the commissary.)
Birdman: Yeah...where's the bathroom?
Moltar: Well it's...
(A pee stain comes up in Birdman's tights.)
Birdman: There we go.
Space Ghost: That's barbaric! Can I drink some; I'm not able to afford anything after my show got cancelled.
(X crashes in with his van and rans out and handcuffs Birdman.)
Birdman: I'll just blast out again.
X: It's congealed metal...the strongest metal.
(Pause.)
Birdman: I'm screwed.
X: C'mon Birdman...let's go.
(X escorts Birdman to the van.)
Birdman: How did you know I was here?
X: Terror Snake said so.
Birdman: Wow, maybe he is psychic.
(X drives off in the van through the window.)
Space Ghost: We're going to be sucked out into space...that's just great.
Zorak: (sing-song) You didn't pay the rent for our apartment, now you live here in this abandoned studio!
Moltar: I'm going back home to see my wife...
Space Ghost: SHUT UP!
(Cut to the control room back at Sunlight Studios as Senor Phil is pointing a gun at Phil and Avenger as Will is looking on.)
Senor Phil: NOW!
Phil: Now what?
Senor Phil: ...just now!
Phil: Dad...having a threesome with your son and an eagle won't solve anything!
Senor Phil: Yes it will!
Will: Listen, if I've learned anything it's...
(Senor Phil shoots the screen.)
Phil: You killed Will Ferrell!
Senor Phil: I didn't kill him...I shot the screen though.
Phil: You killed the screen!
(Senor Phil pulls down Phil's pants.)
Senor Phil: C'mon let's get this over and done this.
Phil: Whatever happened to Mum?
Senor Phil: Philly...Philly is still alive and well...
Phil: Wait...you couldn't possibly be my Dad! My Dad's dead!
Senor Phil: Oh crap.
Phil: Oh crap what?
(Senor Phil goes down off-screen as Phil puts on a happy face then Phil punches him in the face.)
Phil: The time for gay oral sex is over! Who are you?
Senor Phil: I didn't want to tell you this but...
(Cut back to the set as Terror Snake is on the monitor as X is standing behind Birdman who's sitting back down on the desk, still handcuffed.)
Terror Snake: David Tench can also suck my balls.
(Pause.)
Birdman: Who's...
Terror Snake: Tennis balls that is.
(Pause.)
Birdman: Who's David Tench?
Terror Snake: Some (BLEEP)ing cocksucker that has his own animated talk show host show type thing in Australia.
Birdman: Really?
Terror Snake: For how long?
Birdman: Yeah...for how long?
Terror Snake: Long as my cock.
Birdman: Oh...
Terror Snake: You know...long as my rooster...cock...another name for rooster. I have cockfights with it.
Birdman: Oh...really, so you fight it against other roosters.
Terror Snake: No, we rip out our balls and slap each other with it...what the Hell did you think I meant?
X: I'm getting kinda bored just standing behind him, handcuffing him.
Terror Snake: SHUT UP!
(Terror Snake shoots out fire and X ducks and it sets Peanut on fire.)
Birdgirl: OH MY GOD! PEANUT!
Peanut: What...I'm fine.
Peter: Your...your...your on fire!
Peanut: I am?
Birdman: Yep...fire.
Peanut: (screaming) AAAAAAAAAGH! OH MY GOD!
(Peanut falls down.)
Birdman: Oh no!
(Choppers are heard in the background.)
Terror Snake: They're herrrrrrrrre.
Birdman: Who are here?
(FEAR helicopters, spaceships and hover-cars crash into the set as all the members run out.)
FEAR Boss: We're all here...let's kill Birdman!
Birdman: Will Ferrell where art thou?
(Cut to two dogs humping each other in the kitchen when Will Ferrell walks in.)
Will: So...this is where I went?
(Cut back to a freeze-frame of the set.)
Announcer: Will the group FEAR kill Birdman, get his crest and therefore have his (BLEEP)ty powers and get his talk show?
(Cut to a freeze-frame of Peanut lying on the ground on fire.)
Announcer: Is Peanut dead or what?
(Cut to a freeze-frame of the control room.)
Announcer: Who's the mystery man who dressed up as Phil's father who threatened to kill Phil if he didn't have a threesome with him and Avenger...find out after this commercial break.
(Cut to a full screen with Will Ferrell still in the kitchen where the two dogs are humping and it says down the bottom "A Night with Will Ferrell".)
Will: (looking at the dogs) Now that's just (BLEEP)ed up.
(Cut to commercial. Cut back to the full screen with Will Ferrell still staring at the two dogs humping with the title "A Night with Will Ferrell".)
Will: Still (BLEEP)ed up.
(Cut back to the freeze-frame of the set.)
Announcer: The last time we saw Birdman...HE WAS IN FABULOUS HAWAII!
(Cut to Birdman lying on the beach. Cut back to the set.)
Announcer: Here's Part Three to "Some Long Random Title I Forgot That Involved Insulting of Your Fat Dumb Mamma".
Birdman: If you want to kill me fine! If you want my crest fine! But I will not let you overhaul my talk show!
FEAR Boss: Oh we will overhaul the show!
Jace: (in FEAR outfit) What happened to X?
FEAR Boss: Where is X?
FEAR Member #1: We can't do it without him!
FEAR Boss: Yes we can...
(The handcuffs explode as Birdman flies off.)
FEAR Member #1: His the only one who knows how to congeal congealed metal together if it randomly explodes for no reason.
FEAR Boss: Bull(BLEEP)!
(Cut to the control room.)
Phil: Who are you?
(Senor Phil pulls off his mask revealing his Lokar.)
Lokar: I'm LOKAR!
Phil: Lokar!
(Cut back to the set.)
Jace: I heard Lokar's name and Lokar!
(Cut back to the control room.)
Phil: You're not Lokar!
Lokar: You're right I'm not Lokar...
(Lokar pulls off his mask revealing his Space Ghost.)
Space Ghost: Greetings.
Phil: You're not Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: Yes I am!
Phil: Prove it.
(Pause.)
Space Ghost: I am really...Gloop!
(Space Ghost pulls off his mask revealing his Gloop.)
Phil: Now this is getting crazy.
(Cut back to the set.)
FEAR Boss: Where is that son of a bitch X!
FEAR Member #2: Maybe we shouldn't call him a son of a bitch and...
Terror Snake: I know where X is.
Jace: The Terror Snake knows where X is!
Terror Snake: His in two steamed buns.
Jace: Two steamed buns?
Terror Snake: Buns of steel!
Jace: Buns?
Terror Snake: His trapped in two people's asses.
Jace: No his not.
Terror Snake: Yeah he is...
(Cut back to the control room.)
Phil: That's it I'm going to shoot you!
Gloop: Gloop Gleep Gloop, Gloop Gleep! (Subtitle: You wouldn't dare!)
Phil: I will dare!
Gloop: Gloop, Gloop Gleep Gloop, Gleep? (Subtitle: You know how to speak Gloop'n'Gleepinese?")
Phil: I just know how to read subtitles!
Gloop: Gloop, Gloop, Gloop, Gleep Gloop Gleep, Gleep Gloop Gleep Gloop Gleep, Gleep, Gloop Gleep, Gloop, Gloop, Gleep, Gloop Gleep Gloop, Gloop Gleep Gloop, Guh-leap (Subtitle: Oh)
(Cut back to the set.)
FEAR Boss: Here's what we know so far...X is in two people's asses.
Terror Snake: No...apparently his just trapped in one person's ass.
FEAR Boss: Really?
(A gun shot is heard.)
Jace: What the Hell was that!
(Cut to Phil lying dead in the control room.)
Phil: (V.O) I just had to do...I couldn't bare it anymore.
(Cut to Phil with a shotgun and Avenger staring at him.)
Phil: Falcon 7 wanted to do me.
Avenger: Caw?
(Avenger swoops over Falcon 7's corpse and grabs a mask revealing its Phil's Uncle Phillip.)
Phil: Hey it wasn't Falcon 7, it was my Uncle Phillip...hey Avenger, want to take his clothes off and have sex with it.
Avenger: CAW, CAW!
Phil: Suit yourself.
(Phil kneels down. Cut back to the set.)
Jace: Where's X...
Terror Snake: In Will Ferrell's ass!
Jace: And where's Will Ferrell?
(Cut to a live action kitchen with Will looking at the two dogs humping while X's head is up Will's ass.)
X: Help.
(Cut back to the set.)
FEAR Boss: Okay at least we know where X is, now where's Birdman!
Terror Snake: In...in...in fabulous Hawaii.
(Cut to Birdman lying on the beach, when a bird flies up and takes a dump on him and Birdman globs it all over himself.)
Birdman: Thanks for the sunscreen Mr. Bird!
(Cut back to the set.)
FEAR Boss: Let's get Birdman!
Jace: What about X?
FEAR Boss: Let him stay up some celebrity's ass!
Jace: Okay!
(Cut back to the control as Avenger has a shocked expression on his face as Phil is moaning in the background.)
Phil: (V.O) Oh, you dirty, slutty corpse.
(Beat as Phil moans some more as the close-up is still on Avenger as he starts vomiting.)
Phil: (V.O) You don't know what you're missing Avenger!
(Birdgirl walks in.)
Birdgirl: Dad I heard a gun shot before and...dad, are you sticking your penis in Uncle Phillip's mouth? OH MY GOD, Uncle Phillip looks like his dead.
Phil: (V.O) He is dead...what do you want sweetie?
Birdgirl: Incestuous necrophilia is just disgusting Dad!
Phil: (V.O) You can join in if you want Birdgirl!
Birdgirl: OH MY GOD!
(Birdgirl vomits and runs out. Cut back to Hawaii.)
Birdman: How come I smell like bird (BLEEP).
(FEAR Helicopters fly around in the background yelling "Kill Birdman".)
Birdman: Hey, the FEAR guys are gone.
(Cut back to the set as Birdman flies back in to the desk.)
Birdman: Okay I'm back...the FEAR guys ARE gone right?
Peanut: Oh yeah.
Peter: Hey Birdman, you smell kinda like...bird (BLEEP).
Birdman: I was just saying that.
(X flies back in and lands on the ground.)
Birdman: What happened to you X?
X: I fell sleep why handcuffed you and who would've thunk it I would wake up in Will Ferrell's ass, thank God he farted me out.
Peter: Hey X...you smell like celebrity (BLEEP).
Birdman: What happened to that Terror Snake?
Terror Snake: I'm still here Birdman!
Birdman: I have kinda had enough of you!
(Birdman blasts Terror Snake off the monitor as Will Ferrell is back on the monitor.)
Will: Where was I?
Birdman: Everything's back to normal.
(Birdgirl walks in.)
Birdgirl: Yeah...but not only does my Dad enjoy bestiality and incest, he also is a necrophiliac.
(Pause.)
Birdman: Blame it on Rio.
(End credits.)