This time I was really fast with the new chapter.
Martin is able to say to good bye to his twin sister and I hope you'll like it.
Now enjoy with Chapter 7!
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Chapter 7 "The burdens which you are not to carry"
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The boy kneels beside the lifeless body. His hand touches the face tenderly and traces the lines of her beautiful face. Ciaran strokes her dark hair out of her face. It is cold in the house, but the boy doesn't notice anything. Inside he is deaf and unable to feel anything.
"Stand up, Cait. You must be cold and we need to find Mom." he whispers.
"Ciaran!" It is his older sister's voice. She pulls him to his feet. Ciaran knows this has been a bad fall. Cait will be fine, he tells himself again. She'll be fine.
Elaine loads her on a blanket.
"Be careful, you'll hurt her!" Martin screams and steps back.
"Ciaran, she is…" his sister begins, but the boy has broken free of his paralysis and steps toward his sister.
"I'm here, Cait," he whispers. "Don't worry."
Catriona's face is quiet and tranquil, as if she understood. Ciaran softly touches his sister's cheek. Why is she still unconscious? Why doesn't she open her eyes and smile at him and say: Everything is okay. Don't be worried.
"She is dead, Ciaran. She will never come back … like Vanessa." Elaine says with a choked voice and burst out into tears.
But her little brother becomes quiet and lays down near his twin sister Cait so that he could look into her face. Their noses are only centimetres away from each other. On Cait's eyelashes are still tears and as if Ciaran wants to comfort his sister he takes her hand. Then he closes his eyes and fall into a restless sleep. He dreams about angels who bring his sister to his father.
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He wakes up when his older sister gently touches his shoulder and opens his eyes. His eyes directly look into the porcelain face of his sister, there is no warm breath. This is the moment Ciaran realizes that his twin sister is dead; he rises and goes to the window. For a time no words are spoken and then he speaks.
"She always liked to see the landscape from the attic, especially now in the winter when snow covers the extended fields and gardens. Do you think Cait would like it to be at the top and look out to see the blossom gardens?"
The girl is silent for a short time; then she smiles. "She would like that very much. Shall we bring her to the attic?"
The boy nods and together they carry the fragile body upstairs. When they enter into the second part of the attic the children avoid looking at Vanessa's body. Instead they concentrate that Cait is positioned comfortably in a big armchair so that their sister has a good look at the out of doors. As if the boy just remembered that he forgot something he ran downstairs suddenly to the room he shared with his twin sister. On each of the beds sits a teddy bear, one had a wine-red loop, the other one a navy blue. Ciaran takes the teddy with the navy blue and runs back up to the attic. One last time he goes to his sister and whispers something in her ear and kisses her cold cheek. He puts the teddy in her left arm, so she has something which reminds her of her twin. Afterwards both siblings close the first door and let down the tapestry before they lock the door of the rest of the attic.
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A few days later the three children walk on a highway in thick jackets. A car stops, the driver asks the three where their parents are and in which direction they are walking, but the kids don't answer any of her questions and continue on. The smallest and youngest child holds a teddy with a red loop in her arms. Elaine and Martin had decided never again to speak a word about the happenings in the house and that their mother left her children alone at the time when they need her most.
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Martin is in a large garden. He looks around, but he can see nobody, so he begins to walk on a small path, the path is soft and springy. The last thing he remembers is falling with Doc from the staircase into the depths below. Is he dead, perhaps, but that doesn't seem to hold his interest. He comes to a gate where a heavy ivy curtain hangs. Martin pushes it away and enters the next garden. The high stone walls are nearly covered with ramblers which are tangled and intertwined. Some trees are covered with ivy and tangles of overgrowth that seem to blow with the light breeze back and forth, almost like a curtain.
Martin moves slowly and treads softly as if he fears his footsteps will wake someone. His walk is noiseless on the grass as he heads towards a swing, built out of rose branches, which hangs between the trees.
When he comes to a summerhouse, Martin stops. He sees an armchair with pillows and sits down.
"Ciaran? Are you okay? I was so worried."
Martin looks around, but there is nobody in this garden, but at the same time he feels a comforting warmth steal over him, and he nestles back into the pillows, feeling better.
Cait.
"I know it's been rough, but it will get better, you will see. There is still so much for you do to."
Suddenly Martin sees her, his twin sister sits under a cherry tree, which is snow white, full of blossoms and humming bees. He stands up and walks to her under the flowering plum-trees, flowering apple trees with white and reddish blooms. Some of them are in full bloom as if in competition with on another.
"Cait, you are …."
"That is not important, Ciaran. Come here, we will take a walk." Cait says, reaching her hand out to Martin who takes it wondering at the touch of her.
"Is this even real?"
"It is so real like the dreams of the angels after my death, Ciaran. You have dreamed about angels. You have dreamed you are one of them. You thought if you had a chance to change you would give everything in order to fly, to be in a wonderland. You would give simply everything. Because you are allowed as an angel to visit the dead people, you could surprise me or Pa, so much would be possible.
Simply everything … everything."
"God Cait. I have missed you so much. You shouldn't be gone, not this way. We couldn't say good-bye to you. But there were times after the years had passed I couldn't remember under which of your shoulder blades lay your crescent-shaped birthmark, I forgot the way you smiled even the sound of your voice and your scent."
"You have never lost me. We shared the belly of our mother more than nine months. You can't lose me! You cannot give up, sweetie, not now. Promise me you won't give up. Promise me you will trust yourself. Do you hear me, Ciaran? Promise me that!"
Martin nods silently, but his eyes are filled with tears. Cait hugs her brother.
"Don't weep over me. If you miss me sometimes look into the sky, which is always open and honest. Send him your dreams and hopes, say what you want to say to me and I will answer you. I will always love you and I will always have faith in you. Let our sisters and your friends help you. Besides you are needed in a way you can't imagine." She smiles.
Cait close her eyes and send a picture to her brother. Martin opens his eyes surprisingly and stares at her. His twin sister laughs and it is balm for his broken heart. Cait lifts her hand and gently strokes away the tears. In the next moment she kisses him on his cheek and Martin feels himself becoming groggy and then slipping blessedly into sleep, before he succumbs fully, he mumbles, "I promise, I promise, Cait. I won't let you down."
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Elaine sits at Martin's bed; she has barely left him since he was brought in, once to shower and change and then she was back at Martin's side in his hospital room and the second time she left was to bring Fiona to the hospital. Fiona blamed herself that she brought her beloved brother into such danger that resulted in such a situation. Because of her he lay in the hospital bed and no one would give assurance with any certainty that he would ever wake up, so Fiona stayed away.
One morning Elaine stood before her door, Fiona wanted to say she had no time, but the steely look of her older sister forced her to let Elaine in.
"Fiona, why don't you visit Martin in the hospital? Damn, what's wrong with you?" Elaine asks as she walks into the living room, but her younger sister is silent.
Elaine softens at her sister's stricken look, sits down beside Fiona, takes her hand and speaks quietly.
"You have not to blame for it. You couldn't do anything, he was mad."
"I gave Martin the address. I cannot -- I cannot take anymore. What if he never wakes up? What if he dies like this? Besides if I had not hidden in the priest's
hiding place he would not had seen what happened to Vanessa." Sobbing, Fiona collapses against Elaine. Her sister embraces her and strokes her gently over her hair. Elaine holds tight to her younger sister for a while.
"You know, if I wasn't such a coward in the attic and left you alone in that alcove, maybe all this stuff would never happen. It's all incomprehensible…" Elaine couldn't speak on. A crying fit overwhelmed her and both sisters sat crying on the couch. After a while they regained their composure and break off the embrace. Elaine pulls out a handkerchief from her bag and dries her tears as well as her sister's.
"Shall we divide the guilt, older sister?" Fiona laughs and promptly begins to hiccup. Now Elaine begins to laughs as well.
"Okay. We'll do it." she answers the question. Then there is silence until Elaine break through the silence.
"I wanted to comfort and help you, but unfortunately I'm not good at doing this, I also began to cry."
"How could you not?" Fiona answers "You mourn as I mourn as we all mourn and I only hope that now we can begin to get over the events in the past."
"You'll come with me to the hospital." Elaine says rather than asks but her voice is halting and unsure and suddenly sounds old and exhausted. Without a warning Fiona jumps up.
"Of course I will walk with you." She says and run to the door, because she couldn't wait any longer.
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"It's a good sign that there's been no change," Dr. Fowler had told the two sisters earlier. "His blood pressure has remained stable, and both his heart and brain functions look great. Let's just wait for him to wake up."
So they had been waiting.
It is in the middle of the night that Fiona and Elaine stay at Martin's side. Elaine is asleep on her chair despite the discomfort of the position. However Fiona has chosen to rest her head at the side of the bed and holds Martin's hand during her light sleep. Both don't notice the easy flutter of the eyelids. Then Martin opens his eyes and blinks a few times. He doesn't know where he was, but he feels a light, warm pressure on his hand.
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"Fiona?" The quiet voice, so beloved, so familiar is so shocking to hear. She gasps when she realizes Martin's eyes are open, and he is smiling sleepily at her.
"Martin – oh, thank God you're awake! I've been scared to death," she whispers. "I've been so worried about you."
Slowly Martin raises one hand, still with a tube in an arm, and brushes his pale fingertips against Fiona's soft cheek.
Then Elaine wakes up as well, at first she is confused, but when she sees Fiona's happy face she understands.
"Martin!" she shouts unable to control her joy.
Both sisters bend over Martin.
"How do you feel? Are you in pain? Do you need something?" both ask.
"No…" Martin tries to speak, but his throat is dry. Elaine notices and gives him some water.
"What happened to …?"
"He is dead. He will never torture us anymore." Fiona speaks quietly.
Martin doesn't answer, but closes his eyes. He is relieved when he hears that, slowly he turns onto his left side.
"What happened? I only remember that we were both falling."
"Doc was speared through the chest from a spear in one of the old showcases in the villa. He died immediately. They said you had enormous luck in that you didn't fall onto the spears as well. The doctor was worried about your head wound and after two days you developed a fever. Doctor Fowler found out you had an infection and your condition was critical, but now you are awake again and this is a very good sign."
Both sisters smiled happily, but Martin wasn't happy. Inside he feels empty, he can't shake the feeling of utter desolation. He wants to give up and hide away, but he can't; Martin begins to give up hope. The dream he had of Cait shocked him and doesn't know what to do. Inside there is a feeling like ice, he wants to forget, but he knows he will never forget. His sister will never come back and he has the feeling that a part of him is missing. He is cold and begins to cry.
"I don't want to be strong anymore. I don't want to disown Cait or our real parents. I'm tired of being careful of each word that I say, being careful not to tell too much, it hurts so much, I can't do it anymore."
His sisters are worried and embrace him. Elaine is warm at his back and her head is lying on his shoulder. Fiona curls up into a ball in front of Martin. With this Martin warms up, he feels warm and protected. He closes his eyes and drifts off into a blessed sleep.
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One week later, Martin is ready to go, feeling much more like himself. The doctors had determined that he would have no lasting damage to his brain from the crash to the wooden floor and his infection.
His colleagues had visited him a few times, but were very careful what they said, but it was a good feeling to know that they cared for him. But the only thing Martin wanted to do was bury his beloved twin sister beside their father.
When Martin stepped out of the hospital his sisters, Sam and Danny are waiting for him. They spoke for a few minutes when Martin's attention was captured by an older woman walking towards him. The way she walked, the way her lower lip was pushed forward as if in distress caught his eye and held him memory and then her face. So often in his childhood he had look up into that perfect oval, porcelain face, the lips which swung very slightly upwards at the corners of her mouth. Martin was frozen in his movements. The others noticed the stiffening of his posture and saw the woman he was staring at who was heading towards them.
Then she stopped and stood in front of him.
"Hello, Martin." Siobhan says.