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Time
Epilogue
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Bittersweet
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For a moment, a girl would catch herself wishing for that story. That they may find a prince someday, who will sweep them off their feet. That they may fall deeply in love and be happy forever. Some might never admit it; others might disregard it, but whatever the reason, for once in our lives, we wish for it.
I, too, thought about it. Heck, I've spent countless of hours planning about me, him, and our children. But that was a long, long time ago, in a faraway land. Now, I only ask for stability and the reassurance that I will not stay alone for ever; that I may live a good life with the person that I can live with. That makes me sound like a gold digger but I am independently capable; not rich, but not destitute.
When I told my friend about this dream, she went ballistic. She yelled at me saying that why am I letting what happened between me and Hikaru affect what I've long wished for? I stared at her in a way that she didn't understand, in a way that nobody could comprehend, and I whispered in a rasped voice: "I don't need him." Everyone expects me to take it back, but I never did.
It hurts the most when experience has caused you to fall back. That it caused you to stay behind while the rest continue on. When at the end of the day, everyone has somebody to lean on too; somebody to seek solace and warmth. The way he left is something that I will never forget. I took life seriously from then on, but unfortunately, I was more than a little naïve at the entire romance concept. I was probably the stupidest. At the conversation with my friend, she asked me why I was bitter, even when she knew the story of how he left me for some other rich, pretty, famous girl. I just smiled and didn't say anything.
In truth, I always think what would have had happened if things turned different than they were today. In all my 30 years there is only one day, in my life, that I would change. Another chance, that's what I hunger for. But that moment passed… years ago and I know that once time moves on; it doesn't look back, even if you're left behind. I'm bitter because of him-- the cause of my heart's demise and my harsh memories.
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