Detour

He'd been doing it so long, when Sayu said, "what are you doing?" Matsuda really didn't hear her. So she said it again.

"What are you doing?"

"What?"

"You turned too early, the theater is two blocks up."

"Oh..." He threw the car into reverse with a tell-tale nervous chuckle. His eyes flashed something briefly that Sayu swore was an ineffable sadness, and for some time they sat in silence, only the radio providing a distracted, inappropriate soundtrack.

Sleep one now, I heard that a knee makes a good pillow when you're down.

"...How's work been?"

"Fine. Aizawa's in line for another promotion soon."

"That's good, his family is well?"

"Yeah. Yumi starts middle school this spring."

"Time really flies, doesn't it?"

"Sure does."

"That's not the first time you've turned down that way." Sayu said randomly.

"Is it? I always miss the turn off for the theater. What time is it?"

"Only 6:13, we have plenty of time. So is there any reason?"

"For what?"

"Why you turn down that way."

"Nothing that you need to hear." Matsuda replied automatically.

"Work?"

"Hmm."

"Dad used to drive by this hotel in Asakusa all the time. Mom said it was where his first homicide case happened. It...used to creep me out a little, but I guess I understand now. Sometimes I want to go to New York just to see..."

"Can we please change the subject, Sayu-chan?"

"I'm sorry...! Sometimes I just think aloud too much."

"No, it's not that..."

"Then what? We take the same route wherever we go, Tota. When I was a little girl you could fool me with that 'detour' stuff, but now it's just weird...you get all quiet and moody around my friends and yours...and you haven't set foot in my house in three years. We've been dating for two. People talk, Tota. They think you're an ungrateful coward and..."

"And?"

"And frankly, you make it really difficult for other people to defend you."

"What makes you think I can't defend myself?"

"Because you never have! Your universal response to everything is to curl up into a little ball and wait for it to blow over. Now if you want anything other than two years of wasted time out of me then turn back down that street and tell me what happened there." Sayu blinked; she never quite had any idea how conversations to turned to this, but eventually, they all did. If they didn't, they simply tapered off into silence that would dominate their time together.

Quite suddenly, Matsuda turned on his police flashers, made a sharp turn in the middle of the street and sped down the other way, the cyanic and crimson light casting shadows over his normally set, sad expression. He found the street; made another dangerous turn, causing Sayu to clutch the seat in mute terror. The street narrowed sickeningly before opening up into the back parking lot of a abandoned warehouse. He slammed on his breaks and turned the car off, resting his head on the steering wheel. When he moved his hands, moist marks were left behind.

There was a long, trembling pause. He started the car.

"I can't do it. I can't...I love you Sayu but I can't ask you to share this." His hand hadn't left the ignition. She curled her fingers around it and turned the car off, leaning close enough to feel his heart beat.

"I am my mother's daughter. And my mother was the wife of a police officer. She shared his burden even if she didn't know what that burden was. Dad wasn't so prideful to admit that he didn't need that."

"I'm not your father, Sayu. He was...a better man than I will ever be, why can't you accept that?" Matsuda hushed under his breath.

"You're a good man, Tota. You have every opportunity to be as good a man as my father or better. If I didn't know that in the bottom of my heart I wouldn't say it." She huddled against him, and Matsuda put an arm around her, breathing heavily to keep from weeping. Her hair was silk between his fingers, her skin soft and a little flushed.

"And that's where your wrong. You father never doubted what side he was on, not once. He was just like L. I doubted Sayu-chan. I doubted every step of the way."

"Lots of people did back then. That doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human. Maybe if dad had had second thoughts about storming Mello's hideout he'd still be alive..." She choked back the thought that had followed, wondering if now of all times would be a good time to tell him. She swallowed hard, very hard, and forced herself to continue talking.

"Mello told me things, Tota. He told me that Kira might be working from within the police. As much as I hated him, he was trying just as hard to figure things out as you, dad and Light were. I've never forgotten him, what he said...I can't. 'There's a chance Kira is within the police.' I doubted too."

"Mello could have made anyone doubt their—wait...what?" Matsuda stopped himself, having just processed what Sayu told him.

"I mean, it made sense. First L died, then dad and then Light. And right after that the killings stopped, like that, it was over. It stands to reason that someone who was present at that final confrontation where my brother died was Kira, and only two people didn't walk away from that: my brother, and Mikami Teru. So who was it, Tota? Which one of them was Kira?"

Matsuda almost stopped breathing. Screw being her mother's daughter, Sayu Yagami was without a doubt her brother's sister. But then again, Near hadn't exactly left them with a grand plan to stop people from figuring what really happened out on their own. To say that 'Light Yagami died in pursuit of Kira' was pretty weak considering how things had played out. How he, Matsuda Tota, made things play out.

"Mikami Teru was Kira. He killed your brother just as he figured it out. We were able to apprehend him before he could kill anyone else." Matsuda could feel Sayu un-tense her body next to him. She turned to face him.

"That's the truth?"

"Yes. Your brother was a good person, Sayu. He wasn't afraid to die knowing that Kira would die with him."

She smiled, arched her neck up and kissed him, "This is where it happened, isn't it?" she whispered, cupping his face in her hands.

"Here. Right inside that building." Matsuda confirmed. "I'm sorry Sayu-chan, I should have known you would have figured it out. You are Light's sister, after all."

For the first time all night, she giggled, even if it was a little sadly, "I'm no Miss To-Oh, though, sorry."

Matsuda laughed, kissed her hand to get it off the ignition and sped out of the alley pretending he didn't want to be late for the movie.