She had tried to kill his child, after Charlie she knew he would never forgive her, she couldn't even forgive herself and she knew she wouldn't be a good mother but that Jack would be a great dad. How could she of killed him Jake, her son what kind of monster was she?
She huddled up on the floor trying to keep warm, she knew they would hate her how could they not she hated herself and Anubis more than anything. She had tried to kill Jack's baby, her baby.
Inside the base Jack had questioned a worried Janet, who had been surprised by Sam's actions expecting her to be overjoyed and not upset
"What did you say to her?" Jack asked angered,
"Only the truth, Anubis isn't Jake's father" Janet said waiting for it to click, Jack looked at her raising a hopeful eyebrow with a small smile
"So who is?"
"Remember you came back with……" Janet began
"He is mine" Jack interrupted taking him off her, looking at his blue eyes, Carterish nose but Jack O'Neill brown hair, now he knew it was so obvious.
"And she just took off" he asked hurt that Sam thought him being the father wasn't a good thing, he couldn't hide his hurt
"Sir, I think Sam went through a lot more than she told us, her reaction was probably just shock" Janet soothed,
"Now you look after your son while the rest of Sg1 and I try to find Sam" Janet ordered Jack nodding numbly, Janet smiled at his expression.
"My son" he repeated vowing he would do better with Jacob than he did Charlie.
Meanwhile Janet had phoned the labs and the guards topside and found Sam had reached the surface but not left base she gathered Daniel and Teal'c briefly relaying what had happened, both agreed to help find Sam.
It was Janet who stumbled across the sobbing air force Major, crouching she placed a hand on her shoulder,
"I thought you would be happy" Janet said still confused as to why Sam was so upset,
"After all I went through its just, I hated this baby, I tried to kill it. I tried to kill Jack's baby he is going to hate me, how could he not after Charlie. I'm a monster how could I try to kill him" Sam wept, the ball dropping for Janet of why Sam was so upset not that it was Jacks but the fear he would hate her.
"Sam, have you asked him? He wouldn't hate you not for that" Janet told her, Sam shaking her head in denial,
"He would I can't tell him" Sam replied, from behind somewhere Jack spoke causing them both to jump and look round,
"No he wouldn't hate you especially if you didn't know" Sam turned to face him surprised her eyes red and puffy with tears running down her face but to Jack she was still the most beautiful woman in the world.
"He'd think you were damn brave for going through that and thank you for bringing him into this world, he would thank you for escaping and bringing his son to him, for being there looking after him in situations others wouldn't have been able to cope with. He would then hug you and retire" Jack said kneeling down and hugging her and holding her tight, as Janet slipped away knowing this was a time for them to be alone.
"Sir you can't retire" Sam protested still hugging him needing the comfort
"Yes I can Sam, I'm getting old, my knees are shot and I want to spend time with our son" Jack defended then let her go slightly so he could look into her eyes
"I love you Sam, when you were missing I felt empty all I could think is you were there with that b#st#rd and that wasn't a good thought, I realised how much I had come to rely on you, how you got me through each day. God Sam I thought we'd lost you and I want you to know I won't push you to talk but when you are ready I will listen" Jack said, Sam listened god smacked it being the longest speech about his feelings he had ever made and the most beautiful thing she had ever heard. She opened her mouth to return the sentiments but Jack's finger on her lips stopped her
"I know Sam but right now you are still in shock from Anubis, I'm not going anywhere" he said smiling, Sam nodded knowing she was in a strange place after the pregnancy giving birth and coming home but her feeling hadn't changed she knew from before this had happened, what she felt,
"Jack I love you too and am so glad that you are Jake's dad" Sam said hugging him awkwardly from her position on the floor next to him, Jack grinned feeling his heart fill with love at her words.
"Speaking of our son, shall we?" Jack said taking her hand and pulling Sam up
"Thank you Sir" Sam said they went inside where Sam hugged Jake taking him off Janet who made her excuses and left to give them some privacy,
"Jake this is your daddy" she said turning him to look at Jack who had a massive smile
"Hey Jake I'm your daddy" he said taking the small baby off her and rocking him gently, Jake opened his eyes as if judging him seeming satisfied as he drifted back off to sleep,
"I think he likes you" Sam said proudly, Jack nodding still smiling more than anyone had seen
"Here you take him," he told her giving him to Sam who gave him a questioning look
"Jack?"
"Sam I need to talk to Hammond to get things in the works, and when I retire I would like you and Jake to move in with me, what do you think?" he asked nervously
"Sounds good, But is there room I mean you only have one spare room which is fine I can share with him but when he is older he is going to want his own space" Sam said looking into his eyes deliberately being dense wanting him to say it
"I was thinking when I retire certain frat regs are no longer a problem that we could try this relationship thing" he asked nervously watching Sam's every move relieved when she smiled and tears began forming in her eyes
"Really Sir" Sam said a tear escaping
"Sure I mean if we both sold our house we could buy 1 big one to have an office, a room for Jake and a spare room until we are comfortable enough to share" Jack offered, Sam nodded
"I think you should talk to Hammond and phone Cassie to tell her to stop unpacking the stuff at my house" she said giving him a friendly push, as he nodded picking up the phone and sorting Cassie out who was delighted,
"Now Sam can I borrow our son?" he asked with a smile, Sam paused still getting use to the our son bit,
"Why?" She asked catching up
"I impregnated my 21c and am now retiring to be with her, he is going to kill me but with Jake he won't be able to" Jack said smugly at his foolproof plan, Sam rolled her eyes
"Ok Sir but I should come to I don't want to go off world, and the alliance have made it clear I can't stay on Sg1 so I should be reassigned to the labs" Sam decided as Jack lifted up his son smiling, Jake opened his eyes slightly before going back to sleep. Both grinning they began walking to Hammond's office, Sam knocked as Jack was holding Jake
"Enter" Hammond called Sam signalled for Jack to go first. They went in standing at attention; well Jack was doing a close imitation while holding Jake.
"Please take a seat" he ordered "What brings you here?" he asked kindly
"Sir, you remember when I arrived back from the planet 10 hours after everyone else my wounds healed but with marks on my private parts" Jack said blushing, Hammond nodded not sure he liked where this was going.
"Janet ran a DNA test based on this. Jake isn't Anubis's he is mine" Jack said happily, Hammond took a moment to study them
"Major I presume you had no knowledge" Hammond asked firmly
"No Sir, Anubis claimed it was his and I have the memories of his conception" Sam said avoiding their eyes knowing what she had admitted to.
"I will need to contact the president to discuss this, but as you weren't pregnant a month ago we can assume you haven't broken regulations it's now a case of whether he lets you both serve on Sg1" Hammond told them
"Actually Sir I want to retire spend time with my son" Jack volunteered,
"And I want to work in the labs more, I can't be on a active team any more due to my protectors, and don't want to leave Jake without a mother" Sam said
"I can't lose you both" Hammond protested, Jack looked at Sam
"I can still be an advisor" Jack offered, Hammond smiled slightly accepting the concession,
"Very well resignations accepted if you'll excuse me" he said as a hint for them to get out, they both did as he picked up the red phone.
I hope the reaction was ok and the explanation etc
Please review tell me if this is working
And thanks to those who already have