Thank you to all those who reviewed. SummerRain173, XxMAKExXitorbreakitXx, and respectheundertaker. I understand it is a rather cracked pairing so thanks for reading it and keeping your mind open. Sorry for how long it took me to get this chapter out, if you're reading this and have read my other story, don't worry I will hopefully be putting up a chapter for that as well :)
Another warning: this isn't as funny as my first chapter, but I hope you will still enjoy it :)
Blame It On Ricki Martin Chapter Two
"Guys, he totally digs her!" Jeff all but shouted to the whole locker room just as Ken wandered in.
"Who digs who?" The bleach-blonde man asked curious as to what the latest gossip was. His smirk faded when he noticed the way pretty much the whole rooms eyes were on his face. Jeff's grin was simply predatory.
"I walked into that one quite literally, didn't I?" Mr. Kennedy couldn't help but ask sardonically as he glanced at the ceiling in wonderment. 'Could this day get anymore embarrassing?'
"Why our roster's resident Glamazon of course..." Jeff nearly purred, sliding up next to him. Ken's head of course quickly snapped down, eyes locking with Jeff's in absolute terror.
"What?? No!!" He managed to get out, willing his face not to heat up. He faintly heard someone shout something from the back of the room. He wished he hadn't.
"Aw, lookie there, he does!" came the cocky voice of Chris Masters. The awkward silence continued after his comment with Ken glaring down at his feet, praying he would sink into the ground. Randy was the next to speak after that.
"That's awesome man," The Legend-Killer said warmly as he clapped Ken on the back. "Beth's an amazing chick and she deserves someone who will treat her right."
Jeff cut in, giving his two cents on the idea as well. "Beth is like my sister, I wish her all the best and I have a feeling that you can give that to her dude."
The rest of the room murmured in agreement. It seemed like Beth had won the hearts of many and that made Kens heart thaw at the thought.
"So when are you going to get the balls to ask her out!?" Carlito's voice echoed, ringing clear in Ken's ears. Everyone snickered.
"It's not that easy," Ken groaned, although grateful he was that he had the whole men's locker room's blessing.
"I turn into an incoherent glob of mush when I'm around her. I think it might just be better to save myself from that embarrassment again." That being said, Ken grabbed his duffel bag and headed to the showers.
"Sexy Beast, do you copy, I repeat, Sexy Beast do you copy?" a voice cut in and out through the silence.
"Loud and clear, why are you guys making me take part in this?" crackled the voice of none other than Chris Irvine or rather Chris Jericho.
"It's for the good of all mankind, man." A third voice broke through.
"I honestly can't see how this affects mankind, but agh, okay, fine. I'll do this, but do I really have to go by your guy's code names? They're rather ridiculous."
"Sexy Beast, don't make us come over there." Warned the first voice.
"Okay, okay, what were they again, just so we're clear." Y2J sighed, 'how had they managed to rope him into this?'
"Jeff is Playwithsquirrels, and I'm Badonkadonk," rang the deep voice of Randy Orton. "Operation: Get Ken Laid has now commenced."
The blonde-haired Canadian couldn't help but shake his head in amusement. They had somehow convinced him that this was THE only way to ensure Ken's happiness and the only solution that stopped him from wallowing deeper into his 'spiraling death pool of hatred and self-loathing.'
Jeff's words, not his.
Randy had managed to sneak around the halls and remain undetected all the way to the women's locker room. Humming the mission impossible theme under his breath, his lean body slunk through the door after he made sure the coast was clear. He was in.
"Playswithsquirrels, I have reached the destination. What color is the subject?" Randy spoke quietly into the black walkie talkie he held in his left hand.
"Badonkadonk, the bag is green, I repeat the bag is an olive color." came the voice of 'Playswithsquirrels.' "Beast of the sexual variety, are you in position?"
"If you mean, am I standing down the hallway from the diva's locker room waiting to ambush innocent and unsuspecting women, stalling them for time, then yes I am in position," Jericho replied facetiously.
He wasn't actually there, in fact he was on the other side of the building heading in completely the wrong direction, but hey, what they didn't know couldn't hurt them right? Chris smirked deviously as he sauntered towards the catering. He was fairly positive that he would find his shy, lovesick friend hiding out there, and get the chance to warn him of the shenanigans that were currently ensuing thanks to the gruesome twosome.
Pushing his way through the doors, the first thing or rather person her saw was none other then the bleach-haired man he was looking for, slumped over what looked like to be a really large dish of gravy-smothered fries sprinkled with cheese.
"Mmmmmm... poutine," The Ayatollah of Rock 'n' Rolla moaned, pulling up a fold-out chair across from his friend.
Ken looked up at his friend in complete bewilderment.
"What the heck is poutine?" he managed to ask between mouthfuls of the gooey substance, melted cheese strands dangling from his lips.
Chris couldn't help but chuckle. "Poutine is what is on your plate right now man, I can't believe how many people don't know what it is, even when it's right in front of their face."
"Canadians.." Ken shook his head as he shoved another forkful of the artery-clogging mass into his mouth. "Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."
Ken continued eating all the while aware that Chris was just staring at him, his chair tipped back and arms held behind his head in what seemed to be a carefree manner. It was unnerving to say the least.
"So..." The King of Bling Bling began, a slight smirk showing on his face. "I guess I should tell you that right now Randy has infiltrated the women's locker room and is planting a fake love letter from you addressed to a certain blonde-haired Women's Champion."
Ken glanced up from his food not fully comprehending what his friend was telling him. "What are you talking about? I just saw Randy heading down the hallway singing the Mission Impossible theme to him... self... Oh for the love of all things holy.."
Pushing away from the table swiftly, Ken took one last look of extreme longing at his fries, before dashing out the doors, hoping beyond hope that he wasn't too late. Chris' smirk grew wider until it looked quite similar to that of a Cheshire cat. His work here was done.
Scooping up the poutine, Y2J slowly followed the path his distraught friend had taken, waiting to put part two of his devious plan into action. He would get the two together that was a given, but it would be a lot more subtle than what the other buffoons were trying. They merely needed a small push in the right direction after all.
"RANDY!!" The Buffalo blonde looked up from the magazine she had been quietly reading. Ken stormed past with a look that said he was out for blood, obviously of the Legend-killer variety.
'This scene seems familiar somehow,' she could help but think to herself sarcastically.
Watching as the burning red, vengeful man continued down the hall, Beth could admit to herself that she was curious. Last time Ken had been on a rampage it had been rather funny, and she figured this time would have similar results.
Pulling herself up to her full height of 5 ft. 7, the superstar proceeded down the same corridor the bleach-haired man had just disappeared down. This had better be good.
'Randy must be up to his old tricks again, not that he ever isn't' Inwardly Beth snickered. 'Him and Jeff both really enjoy tormenting Ken.'
Passing by several frightened lighting techs, the wrestler knew she was definitely on the right track. Feeling guilty for finding amusement in their expressions, Beth smiled apologetically at the two petrified men before continuing on her way down the long corridor.
The angry sounding noises were getting louder with each step she took and the blonde soon realized they were coming from the women's locker room. 'What the hell is going on in there?'
Determined to get to the bottom of this, the Glamazon proceeded to push the door open only to be stopped by a large hand. Letting her eyes wander up the arm connected to the hand, Beth found herself staring into the face of Chris Jericho. His eyes were twinkling mischievously as he raised the same hand to put a finger to his lips silently. Beth took the hint and backed away from the door a bit.
"Do you know what's going on?" She whispered to Y2J, trying her best to be quiet. She really wanted to know now that Chris had somehow been involved. That almost guaranteed that whatever it was would have an interesting outcome. She'd hate to be on the receiving end of any of his schemes.
Jericho just smirked and gesture for her to be quite and listen. Both of them peered through the crack Beth had made in the doorway when she was about to confront Ken and Randy.
"Randy what the HELL do you think you're doing!!" Ken yelled in the Legend-killer's face angrily. Randy's response was to speak into a walkie talkie in what seemed to be complete gibberish to Beth.
"Mayday, Mayday, Playswithsquirrels, we've been betrayed! Abort mission, ABORT!" Beth turned to the Ayatollah of Rock 'n' Rolla when she heard Randy's voice echo behind her.
"Shizen.." Chris mumbled as he switched off a similar walkie talkie. Now Beth REALLY wanted to know what was going on.
Seeing the determined look on the woman's face Chris sighed. This could've gone a lot smoother if he had remembered to switch it off. 'Oh well, this can still work out well if I can get her to listen for long enough.'
"I'll explain later if you promise to just watch and listen right now." He just hoped that his plan didn't backfire on him. He also hoped Randy and Ken without realizing it, would pull through on this for his sake.
Beth realized if she wanted answers the only way to get them was to listen. Resuming her crouched position just outside the door, the Women's champion tuned into the conversation the two men were having.
"Listen man, this is for your own good," Randy began, his hands in the air in a surrender position. "We're just speeding along the inevitable."
"For my own good!? Jeff put you up to this didn't he?" Ken yelled frustrated. "I can't even be mad at you two, I should have known that you would pull something like this!"
"Does that mean we can walk out of here and pretend nothing ever happened?" The Champion said hopefully, slinking towards the door. Beth held her breath getting ready to spring away from said door. She refused to get caught spying, even if she had a right to do so. There was a reputation to maintain after all.
"Do you honestly think that I am that idiotic to let you walk out of here, empty-handed when you so obviously carried something in here. Something of major importance to me, might I add? Ken ground out, his teeth mashing together in vexation. Beth grimaced. Something must have made him really pissed-off.
Randy chuckled nervously, knowing their plan was thwarted. Beth watched as Randy reached into her tote bag to pull out a white envelope. Chris had to physically restrain her from entering the room. 'What the heck were they doing in her bag?'
Randy saw a shadow move when he glance over to the entrance. Seeing a familiar smaller boot-covered foot, he realized they had an audience of sorts. Grinning to himself, he made a split-second decision he really hoped he didn't regret later. If he lived to a later that is.
Pulling a letter out of the envelope with a flourish, Randy started to read a couple lines, making Ken's glare deepen into something the taller man had never seen from his comrade before. Ignoring the dangerous vibes his friend was emitting Randy went on to read.
"Dear Beth, there has been something I have been meaning to tell you for quite sometime. The truth is.." Randy paused to take a breath, "I have been in love with you since the first moment I set eyes on you.." The letter was snatched out of his grasp and crumpled up into a petite-sized ball.
Raising an eyebrow, Randy knew that this was probably the angriest he had ever seen the Green Bay home-grown man. Shrugging in a somewhat sorry manner, the One Man Dynasty took this as his cue to hightail it out of there as fast as his legs would take him. Anywhere would be preferable at that point.
Heading out the door, Randy passed a shocked looking Beth and a grinning Jericho. Glaring at the Canadian, he mouthed a 'I'll see you later' disgruntled that the plan had been changed drastically because of the man's back-stabbing behavior. Chris is turn just gave the younger superstar a cheeky grin and a thumbs up which Randy had to hide a smirk at. He could appreciate the evil streak the blonde guy contained behind his innocent facade. The man was way too good at this.
Chris is turn, stuffed his hands in his pockets and proceeded down the hallway opposite to Orton, leaving the diva in the same position she had been entertaining for the last few minutes.
Beth couldn't believe her ears.
This all had to be some sick messed-up joke that her friends decided to play on her, but as she looked at Ken's face again through the crack, she realized it really couldn't be. Acting in the ring was one thing, but behind the scenes Ken was like an open book. He couldn't act anymore than he could disguise his emotions. She didn't like to admit it, but she had watched him more than enough to know the person he was.
Her mouth opening and clothing repeatedly, Beth couldn't form a proper sentence.
'No,' she told herself, 'Don't get your hopes up, I must have missed something, there is no way he would ever like me.'
Shaking her head to make the thought sink in, Beth decided now was as good as any to make an entrance. Figuring that it would be best if she pretended like she had never heard or seen anything, she pushed the door open and watched as Ken's head snapped over to stare right at her.
Flushing a dark red instantly, Beth felt a inkling of hope push it's way into her heart staring at the blushing man.
Acting nonchalant, the New Yorker gave Ken a quizzical glance praying he wouldn't notice her shallow breaths, or hear how fast her heart was beating.
"I er, um that is, I uh, Mickie told me to grab her sweatshirt for her but I don't where it would be and I have no clue what it looks like or anything and I just.."
"Here ya go," Beth placed a black sweater into Ken's hand cutting off his rambling. "Is there anything else you needed?"
Ken shook his head rather violently, giving her a quick, obviously-forced half-smile, all but running in his haste to exit the room. She almost felt bad for the man, but before she could feel any such guilt, she caught a flash of white out of the corner of her eye.
"Dear Beth," she read, straightaway recognizing Jeff's loopy handwriting. Skimming over the next familiar line, she was flabbergasted. "Your hair, your eyes...What the hell is this crap? I know Jeff is hopeless when it comes to romance, but for christ's sake, I thought I could give him more credit then this?!"
Although Beth seemed incredulous on the outside, a part of her really wanted to believe that Randy and Jeff had gone through all this trouble because Ken really did like her.
'Who am I kidding?' sighing to herself, Beth picked up her bag and started to pack away her stuff. Looking at the crumpled paper laying on the bench, she went to throw it away only to look at it once more. 'Maybe I'll take this as a keepsake'
Folding it up delicately, she placed it in one of the inside pockets of her bag of wonders. Pulling the strap over her shoulder, she glanced around her newly-cleared space making sure nothing was left behind. She was tired and there was a comfy bed waiting for her to sink into at the hotel.
"Upside, inside out, livin' da vida loca.." Singing to herself her latest favorite song, the muscular woman headed out to her car, happier then she had been in quite some time.