Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Chapter 14: Explanations
Harry went up the stairs slowly. He really didn't want to face Ron and Hermione right away. He knew that they would ask a lot of questions he didn't want to answer or couldn't answer. So he went towards the Library at the other end of the hall. As he was going past the few rooms before the Library, he noticed one of the doors was slightly ajar. He knew that he wasn't supposed to go into the room, but his curiosity got the better of him. He walked cautiously over to the door, looking behind him to make sure no one was coming. He pushed the door open, trying to be quiet, then walked slowly into the room. Once inside he shut the door so that it was slightly ajar like before he came in. He walked into the middle of the room and looked around him. There were a few broken toys on the floor scattered around. You could see where a bed used to stand in the corner. There was a small, old looking cupboard and a broken desk and chair in another corner. On the walls and ceiling it looked as if someone had shot spells at them. There were discolored spots were they had hit. Harry picked up an object that looked like a muggle spin top without the handle that was laying at his feet. He set it in the palm of his hand and it floated a little over his hand. It was making a humming noise. He gently pushed the side of it and it started to spin. Different colored lights came from it as it spun around. The lights hit the walls and seemed to be bouncing off of them. Harry quickly grabbed it and set it back on the floor. He didn't want anyone to see it and come to investigate.
Severus looked up quickly. He could sense someone inside one of the closed off rooms. Having a pretty good idea who it was only made him madder. 'Would he never learn to follow rules?' Severus thought angrily. He stood up and headed for the door.
Harry walked over to where the bed once stood and for a brief minute it looked familiar. He remembered seeing the room before but couldn't place where. It was dark when he saw it last time. Then he realized where he had seen this room before. He had seen it in one of Snape's memories. He had been a teenager in the memory and was lying on the bed shooting flies off the ceiling. Now he knew were the marks on the walls came from. He wondered if any of Snape's childhood was pleasant. The few memories he had seen during his lessons were not pleasant ones. From what he had seen of Snape's parents, he knew that it wasn't as ideal as he thought Snape's childhood would have been. He had thought he was spoiled like Dudley was and got what he wanted. Snape's father was horrible to him and his mother. Even his own twin brother was horrible to him. Harry thought that he had it bad. From what he had seen in Snape's memories, the Dursley's were saints. At least they couldn't hex him.
Severus went to the door that was ajar and opened it softly; wishing it was any room but this one. It held too many bad memories for him. He stood in the doorway and watched Potter. He could see all the emotions Harry was having from his stance. He could tell when he started feeling sorry for him and felt his anger growing. Who did he think he was to feel sorry for him? Severus walked quietly up to Harry until he was right behind him. He leaned down a little before speaking.
"Are you having fun, Mr. Potter?" Severus said in a deadly whisper.
Harry stiffened when he felt someone behind him but didn't dare move. He just knew it was Snape and didn't want to face him. His fears were confirmed when he heard that icy voice sound in his ear.
"No, sir." Harry said carefully.
"Do you find this amusing? Seeing my old room? Knowing that I was no better then a house elf? Actually, the house elves were treated better." Severus said coldly, standing straight up.
"No, sir." Harry said turning to face Snape.
"I thought I told you to stay out of the locked rooms." Severus said darkly.
"I'm sorry, sir. It wasn't locked. The door was open. I didn't hurt anything." Harry said quickly, trying to keep Snape from hexing him.
Severus's temper flared. Did he think that gave him the right to invade his territory? Just because the door to a room that is off limits was open one time? Severus grabbed Harry by the shoulders and pushed him back until he ran into the wall. He leaned down so that he was an inch away from his face before speaking again.
"So that gives you the right? You knew this room was off limits. It has been since you got here. The rules don't change to accommodate what you wish to do. Do they, Potter?" Severus said through clenched teeth, trying and failing to control his temper.
"N..n..no, s..sir. They d..don't." Harry said sounding scared.
"We'll discuss your punishment after supper tonight. Get out of here. Stay out of my way until then. Understood?" Severus said straightening up.
"Yes, sir." Harry said quickly, only too happy to get away for now.
"Go then." Severus said softly, pushing Harry towards the door.
Harry stumbled to the door and went out. Before he shut it he looked back at Snape. Snape was looking coldly around the room. He had a look of utter contempt on his face. Harry quickly turned and went down the hall before Snape could see him. He went to what he hoped was Ron's room. He knocked on the door and waited for Ron to answer. He didn't want to go into another room that was off limits. A few seconds later and Ron opened the door. Harry went in and sat down on the bed with his head in his hands without saying a word.
"What's wrong, Harry?" Ron said, sitting next to him.
Before Harry could reply, Hermione came in. She looked at Harry then gave Ron a questioning look. She sat on the other side of Harry.
"Harry? Are you all right?" Hermione said softly.
Harry looked up and stared at the wall ahead of him. He wasn't sure how he could explain why he was upset for upsetting Snape. He couldn't very well tell them that they were related. Snape would never forgive him.
"I'm fine, guys." Harry said hoping they would let it drop.
" We were worried about you. We didn't know where you were or anything. Why didn't you tell us you were staying with Snape?" Ron said with a shudder.
"How do you think I felt last year? No one would tell me anything and it was about me. I wasn't old enough to know what was going on but I faced Voldemort alone." Harry said angrily.
Ron and Hermione looked nervously at each other trying to avoid Harry. Harry felt a little bad for yelling at them but he was upset and confused right now. Sighing in annoyance Harry brought his temper under control.
"Look. I'm really sorry. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone and being alone with Snape, it wasn't a good idea to go against what he said. I wasn't sure what he would do to me with no one here to stop him." Harry said seriously.
"I could imagine." Ron said with a shudder.
"Ron!" Hermione said angrily.
"Well, you have to admit he has never given us a reason to trust him." Ron said heatedly.
Harry got up quickly and walked over to the window, trying to ignore Ron and Hermione arguing. Ron and Hermione both stopped arguing and watched Harry. Harry stared out the window in thought. Hermione got up and walked over to stand beside him. Ron followed suit a little while later.
"Harry?" Hermione said uncertainly.
"You were right, Hermione. Dumbledore has a reason to trust Professor Snape. We don't know why, but there is a reason. If he can trust him enough to give him free rein to teach me then I have to trust that he won't hurt me." Harry said quietly.
Harry turned to look at them both. Ron and Hermione looked at each other then back at Harry.
"If Voldemort finds out that I am here do you know what will happen to Professor Snape?" Harry said urgently, ignoring his friends flinch from Voldemort's name.
"He knows and still let's me stay. I was almost found out once already. Lucius Malfoy came by to let Professor Snape know that Voldemort wanted him. If I had happened to wonder out of my room do you realize what would have happened? And still he let's me stay. He could make me go. He could send me to Headquarters if he wanted to. He doesn't though. Not even after all the things my father did to him. All the things I have said to him or about him. He is determined that I learn this. He is insistent. Why?" Harry said looking imploringly at Hermione.
Hermione wasn't sure what to say. Ron just stood there with his mouth hanging open in shock.
"I. I'm not sure, Harry." Hermione said carefully.
"He feels it's his duty. He does it because it is what Professor Dumbledore asked him to. Even though he can't stand me and the danger it puts him in, he still does it." Harry said quietly.
Ron and Hermione didn't know what to say. Neither of them had ever thought about why Snape did the things he did. He always showed such contempt to Harry, but he still saved him every year when he could of let him go on his own. Now he was risking more then anything before allowing Harry into his home and now them. Before he could always say it was because Dumbledore was there. Now he didn't have that excuse. Hermione put her arm around Harry's shoulders and pulled him into a hug. Ron stood awkwardly to the side with confused emotions.
"I saw him come home from a meeting with Voldemort one night. He looked really bad, Hermione. He could barely hold himself up and he was covered in dirt and blood. Some of it was his own blood. He acted as if it was nothing. As if it was a normal everyday thing for him. No one should have to live like that. No one should accept that as normal." Harry said into Hermione's shoulder.
Ron reached out and put his hand on his shoulder in comfort.
"I don't want anyone else to die because of me. Even Snape." Harry said trying not to cry.
Ron put his arms around both of them as he got caught up in the moment. They all stayed that way until Harry pulled away from them. He walked over to the bed and sat down. Ron and Hermione followed.
"Sorry, guys. I just didn't have anyone here to talk to about all these things I've been feeling. It's kind of weird to feel sorry for our 'Greasy Git of a Potions Master'. It wouldn't have been a good idea to talk to him about it." Harry said with a grin.
"I could imagine his reaction," Ron said grinning back at Harry.
Hermione smiled a little sadly. Harry had given her a lot to think about.
"So, what have you been up to so far?" Harry said trying to ease the tension some and change the subject.
Ron and Hermione told him about all the work they had been doing in Headquarters. They were still cleaning it out. Kreacher left and went to stay with Narcissa Black after Sirius was gone. They still couldn't get Sirius's mother off the wall. The only one she was civil to was Snape. The members of the Order were in and out constantly. There were a lot of people that they didn't know. Snape was still coming and giving them information. Not that either of them heard any of it. Mrs. Weasley made sure they were all busy in one of the rooms upstairs so that they couldn't ease drop on anything. Ron said that he even had his homework done for a change. Hermione had insisted that he do it. Harry told them that he had his done too. Snape had made him do it when he first got here so that he could concentrate more on his Occlumency. Ron and Harry decided to play a game of chess in the Library while Hermione started reading one of the books she found on the shelf.
Tina had heard their entire conversation regarding Severus and she was very pleased with what Harry had said. She was a little worried that he felt sorry for him though. If Severus knew that Harry was telling his friends that he felt sorry for him he would be furious. Tina hated to think what Severus would do. He really could not handle anyone feeling sorry for him. She only hoped that he never found out. She let them be for awhile and went to finish with supper. It was a few hours later that she found them in the Library. She told them that supper was ready and then left.
They all sat at the table quietly. Ron kept looking nervously at Snape. Hermione didn't really pay Snape any mind. All her attempts to speak to either Ron or Harry went unanswered so she sat silent. Harry kept his eyes on his plate and picked nervously at his food. He was worried about what Snape would say to him after supper. He knew it wouldn't be anything he wanted to hear. After what felt like hours to Harry, Ron, and Hermione supper was finally done. Snape got up and looked at Harry. Harry tried to ignore the hard glare he could feel on him.
"Potter." Severus said, then turned and went out the door.
Harry got up and followed reluctantly. Ron and Hermione watched him leave curiously. Harry went into the study. He saw Snape over at his bookshelf looking through it so he sat down in front of the desk to wait for him. After finding what he was looking for, Snape walked over to the desk and sat down. He tossed it in front of Harry. Harry jumped as it landed with a bang in front of him. Trying to ignore the smirk on Snape's face, Harry looked at the title. It was called 'Learning and Understanding Occlumency' and was quit thick. He looked up at Snape in confusion.
"I want you to read this book and write a three foot essay on it. It will include what you've been doing wrong, why, and how you will correct it. I want it by lunch time tomorrow." Severus said coldly.
"Sir, how can I do all that in such a short time? It's impossible." Harry said heatedly.
"You should of thought of that before snooping around. I suggest you stop wasting time and go get started." Severus said with a smirk.
"Yes, sir." Harry said through clenched teeth.
Harry got up and left as quickly as he could. He went upstairs and straight to the library. He walked right passed a bewildered looking Ron and Hermione and over to a chair by the fire. He opened the book and tried to concentrate on the words.
"Harry? What are you doing?" Hermione said softly.
"I'm reading." Harry said without looking up.
"We can see that, Harry. Why are you reading when we could be doing other things?" Ron said looking a little amazed that Harry was reading when he should be visiting.
Harry sighed then looked up at them both.
"I have to read this entire book and write a three foot essay on it by tomorrow's lunch." Harry said then went back to reading.
"What did you do?" Hermione asked.
"I went in a room I wasn't supposed to and got caught by Snape. This is my punishment." Harry said softly without looking up.
"Harry! Haven't you learned not to go against Snape's rules from school?" Hermione said sharply.
"Yeah, Harry. He could do much worse if he wanted." Ron said sounding a little scared.
"Look. It's not as if I did it on purpose. I was going to the Library and the door was open a little. I only meant to glance in it real quick. I got caught up in it. Snape came up and caught me. Now can I get back to this? It is an awful lot to read in a short time." Harry said irritably.
"Sorry." Ron and Hermione said and got up to leave.
Hermione went back to the chair she was in earlier and picked the book she had been reading back up. Ron went back to his seat and started reading his Quidditch magazine. Harry reluctantly went back to his book. They all headed to their own rooms around ten. Harry went to his desk and started to read some more. It was about twenty minutes later that there was a knock at his door. He looked up as it opened.
"I am going out. You are to stay in here for the rest of the night." Severus said tiredly.
"Yes, sir." Harry said trying not to yawn.
Snape turned to leave. Harry had to say something.
"Be careful, sir." Harry said softly.
Snape paused with his head down. After a minute he walked out without saying a word, shutting the door softly. Harry went back to his book feeling a little worried for Snape. He read until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. Looking at the clock he saw that it was one. He stood up and stretched and yawned. Heading over to his bed he heard the front door open. Wanting to make sure that Snape had made it back all right, he went and opened the door just enough to see out. He could hear voices.
"Tina, leave me alone." Severus said coldly.
"Please, Master Snape. You are hurt. You need help." Tina said sounding worried.
"I'm fine." Severus snapped at her.
Harry could see Snape slowly coming up the stairs with a worried Tina following. Once he made it to the top Harry noticed that he seemed to be breathing heavy. Snape was paler then normal and didn't have his usual graceful walk. Harry could tell he was in pain but he was stubbornly refusing help. Snape limped slowly to his bedroom door and disappeared behind it. Tina stood staring at the closed door biting her bottom lip. She had tears in her eyes. Harry closed his door softly and went to bed. He just couldn't figure out how Snape could go through that. It wasn't as if anyone appreciated what he went through. Except for Dumbeldore and himself. Harry hated to admit it, but he did appreciate all that Snape was doing. He was starting to care about him. Now he had to worry about what Voldemort would do to him besides Ron and Hermione. He decided to go over everything he had read so far so he wouldn't forget anything by morning. He again fell asleep forgetting the most important thing that Snape kept telling him.
Xoxoxoxo
Hope it was okay. It is a little rushed at the end but I wanted to get it updated. Sorry it took so long. My computer was down for awhile and I lost everything. (Luckily I saved the story to disk.) The next one will be up within about a week. (Not promising though. It is all up to my computer.) I'll try though.
I really didn't expect such a good response from the last chapter. You really like me. J I had to give Severus a hug. He seemed to need it. I hope that Ron and Hermione are not to out of character. I really appreciate all the support. It really does help keep me writing.
Thanx for all the reviews. J
Rhi