Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Chapter 15: Harry's Worst Fear
'I am back in the cemetery. I can see Ron and Hermione standing before me, wands out and looking scared. Slowly I walk out from behind one of gravestones. They looked at me with terror in their eyes and I smiled to myself. It feels good to have power over someone else for a change.
"Kill them both. They are of no use." I hear my master's voice say coldly, sending a chill down my back.
I smile as the two children before me realize who has spoken. Slowly I raise my wand and aim at the girl. She was the smarter and quicker of the two, best to get her out of the way quickly. I can practically smell their fear on the air.
"Avada Kedavra!" I yell and then I watch as a green light flies towards her.
It hits her before she can react. With a look of fear and surprise etched on to her face, she falls to the ground dead. I smile as I hear the boy scream in anger and anguish.
"Avada Kedavra!" I yell once more before he can react.
With another flash of green the boy is hit in mid scream. Silence falls around me. I walk over to the fallen bodies of the children. I look in amazement at their faces, frozen in death. The girl in fear and surprise, the boy in a silent scream. I start to laugh in a maniacal way. The feel of power running through me. I felt invincible."
"Noo!" Harry yelled as he sat up quickly.
He was confused at first about where he was and looked around in fear through the darkness. Then he realized where he was and tried to calm his breathing. As he calmed down a new fear settled in him. Snape. Harry looked at the door hoping he wouldn't be there. Unfortunately he was. Harry flinched from the look on his face. Snape was leaning against the door. His stance suggested he was calm and relaxed, but the cold, dark eyes said he was furious. Harry didn't know what to say so he looked down at his blanket. He could feel Snape's eyes boring into him.
"Get up and get dressed, Potter." Severus said in a soft, icy tone.
Harry got up reluctantly and went to get his clothes. Snape glared at him for a minute to make sure he did as he was told, then turned and left. Harry dressed as quickly as he could with his hands shaking. He wasn't sure if it was from his dream or the fact that he had to face Snape. It was probably from both. After he was dressed he went out the door. Snape was standing against the wall glaring down the hall towards Ron and Hermione's rooms. Harry glanced over at them and could see them both peaking out of their doors. Snape grabbed Harry's arm in a biting grip. He pulled Harry down the stairs and into the study. Harry found himself pushed into a chair as he heard the door slam shut behind them. Snape sat down on the other side of the desk. He leaned back in his chair with his legs stretched out and his arms crossed. He was looking at Harry through narrowed eyes and waiting. Harry didn't want to tell him anything. He knew he would have to though. He looked down at his lap before answering.
"I'm sorry, sir." Harry said softly.
"What happened, Potter?" Severus said quietly.
Harry looked up in surprise. He had expected Snape to be angry. Had even been prepared for it. He had not been prepared for Snape to be…understanding? Feeling a little worried about this new Snape, Harry decided he was still better off with him in this mood then in his normal mood.
"I was reading the book you told me to. I must have been more tired then I thought. I laid down going over everything so I wouldn't forget. The next thing I remember is the dream. I don't know why I had it. I was thinking about how to clear my mind, not what I dreamed about." Harry said sounding slightly confused.
"What was it about?" Severus said, narrowing his eyes.
Harry looked down again. He couldn't look at Snape. He knew that Snape would be mad at him when he found out what his dream was. Especially after what he had said the last time he had dreamed of Cedric and Sirius. This was worse though. He had actually seen himself doing the killing of his two best friends. He really didn't want to know how Snape would react to that.
"Potter." Severus said dangerously.
"It was the graveyard, sir." Harry said softly, not looking up.
"What was that, Potter?" Severus said, his voice getting an edge to it.
"The graveyard, sir. It wasn't the same though." Harry said, trying not to remember it.
"Why was it different, Potter?" Severus said softly.
Harry didn't want to tell Snape about it. He wanted to try and forget it. It was to disturbing for him to have to remember it. He also knew that if he didn't then Snape would just force him to any way. He decided it would be a little less painful to just tell him.
"I saw Ron and Hermione. They were standing where Cedric and I were." Harry said quietly.
Severus was silent. He was watching Harry closely. He was also getting annoyed with how long it was taking him to talk.
"I came out from behind a gravestone. I could see the fear on their faces. Then I heard a cold voice tell me to k…kill them. I smiled and raised my wand at them." Harry said softly, his throat feeling tight.
Severus was trying to be patient, which was saying a lot. He was not known for his patients. He also knew that if he pushed Harry into telling him that he wouldn't tell him all of it and that this is what he needed. Harry looked up suddenly into Snape's eyes. Harry's eyes were glistening from unshed tears.
"I raised my wand to them and killed them both. They are my best friends and I killed them. And I laughed after wards. Not any laugh though. I was laughing as if it was all a joke that I killed them." Harry said with tears running silently down his cheeks.
Severus didn't know what to say. Whatever he had been expecting it wasn't this.
"I killed Ron and Hermione, sir. How could I do that? I'm not like Voldemort am I, sir?" Harry said pleadingly into Snape's eyes.
"No, Potter. You're not like him." Severus said softly, for the first time not correcting the use of the name.
Harry put his head down. Severus could see his shoulders shaking as he tried not to cry. Severus decided that if Harry wouldn't listen to him about not being responsible for everyone else, then maybe he would listen to his friends. He snapped his fingers and Tina appeared instantly beside him. Harry didn't even look up.
"Bring Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger down here, Tina." Severus said softly, watching Harry closely.
"Yes, Master Snape." Tina said, then disappeared.
Severus and Harry sat in silence. Harry was silently fighting for control of his emotions. Severus was trying to figure out how he got himself into this mess. He never would of thought that he would really be trying to help James's son. Severus was brought out of his thoughts when Ron and Hermione entered the study. They stood nervously just inside the door. Hermione had to keep herself from running over to Harry when she saw him crying.
"Quit lurking in the door and come sit down." Severus said, waving his wand and two chairs popped up next to the desk.
Ron and Hermione went over to the chairs that appeared both looking worriedly at Harry. Harry tried to ignore them all but Snape wouldn't allow him to.
"Potter, what have I told you about Mr. Diggory and Mr. Black?" Severus said chosen to use surnames, as it was a little less painful to say.
Ron and Hermione looked sharply at Snape. They were both a little curious as to what they were here for. Harry didn't say anything, not wanting to have his friends know about those dreams.
"Potter, look at me." Severus said sharply.
Harry looked up reluctantly. He still couldn't look Snape in the eye though.
"What did I tell you?" Severus said, eyes narrowed sternly.
"That it wasn't my fault, sir. If it weren't them then it would have been someone else. That Vol…the Dark Lord doesn't care about who they are." Harry said barely above a whisper.
Ron and Hermione were looking between the two of in shock.0
"And what else?" Severus said, letting his annoyance show in his voice.
"There was nothing I could have done to save them. That I should use it as a reason to work harder at learning to defeat the Dark Lord, sir." Harry said a little more firmly.
"Now explain to me why you think that you will kill Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger, Potter." Severus said coldly.
"Harry!?" Hermione and Ron said together.
Harry looked down at his lap not able to face his friends. Severus held up a hand to silence Ron and Hermione.
"Well, Potter." Severus snapped.
"Everyone I care about seems to be in danger, sir. Voldemort seems to know what will hurt the most and uses that. I can't help but feel guilty. I know if they weren't with me then they could still be here. Even if it is only for a little longer." Harry said angrily, looking up at Snape.
"This is a war, Potter. People will die whether your there or not." Severus said quietly.
"Harry, I would be in danger whether I knew you or not. I'm a muggle born. If you haven't noticed, V…Voldemort doesn't like us much. It doesn't matter if your around me or not, I'm still in danger. I'm still going to fight with the Order to try and stop him. You have to quit trying to protect me. You can't always be there and I can take care of myself." Hermione said softly, putting her hand on Harry's arm.
"Yeah, mate. My family has been on His hit list for as long as I can remember. He knows that my family has been working against him. My Father believes that it isn't blood that makes a witch or wizard. It is the heart that makes them. I'm going to keep fighting against Him no matter if you are with me or not. I would prefer it if you were with me though." Ron said looking intently at Harry.
"I know, guys. I'm sorry. It is just hard at times to remember that. I'll try to remember from now on." Harry said with a slight grin.
"I trust we will not have this problem again, Potter." Severus said icily.
"No, sir. Not again, sir." Harry said looking at Snape.
"I still expect your essay by lunch. You may go." Severus snapped, picking up one of the papers on his desk.
"Yes, sir." They all said together.
The three of them got up to leave. Harry stayed behind and went over to Snape. Severus looked up at him inquiringly.
"Thank you, sir. I promise to work harder." Harry said softly.
"See that you do." Severus said.
Harry went to the door to follow his friends out. He was stopped at the door.
"Potter, try to have some fun. You are only a kid once." Severus said, not looking at Harry.
Harry smiled and went out the door. Ron and Hermione were waiting for him by the stairs. They all went up to the Library.
"Harry, why didn't you ever tell us about your dreams?" Ron asked.
"I didn't want to upset you. It wasn't like I had a choice in telling Snape. He saw them during our lessons and made it his mission to help me. He told me to use the anger I had for what happened and direct it at defeating Voldemort." Harry said carefully.
"Well, that does make sense. V…Voldemort is only trying to make you weak. If you use that against him then it may help you out." Hermione said matter of factly.
"I guess. It is just strange to have Snape telling me that. I mean, he doesn't really like me so why is he helping me?" Harry said sounding confused.
"Probably because Dumbledore is making him help." Ron said.
"Maybe. I better go. I have to write that essay and I haven't finished reading the book yet." Harry said.
Harry went back to his room and sat at his desk. He cleared his mind from everything that happened so that he could concentrate on the book. He only had a couple of chapter's left to read.
Severus had set his paper down after Harry left. He knew that he had been hard on him but it seemed to be the only way to get him to talk to him. He was just as stubborn as he himself was, and still is at times. Harry reminded him a little of himself at that age. He would never admit that to him though. Harry had to grow up too fast and that was never a good thing. He needed to be a kid. He needed to be able to do normal things that kids his age did. Although he would be the first to admit that Harry was anything but normal. He was still as arrogant as James was though. That was one of the things he had always hated about James. He hated arrogance in any one. That was one reason he didn't like the Malfoy's contrary too popular believe. Blocking all those thoughts from his mind, Severus picked up the paper he had been reading and went back to work. He still had the sixth year papers to grade.
Tina was happily making breakfast for everyone. She was pleased by the way that Severus was starting to open up with Harry. Not as much as she would have hoped for, but it was a start. She knew that they would never be best friends, but they needed to get along if Severus was going to help Harry learn to defend himself. Severus was the only one who could teach him how to do that against the Dark Wizard. Even if no one else knew it.
Harry finished reading the book and was working on his essay when Tina came for him. He went down to breakfast and ate as quickly as he could. He tried to ignore the glare that Snape kept sending him. As soon as he was done he went back up to finish his essay, much to the annoyance of Ron. Harry just finished it in time for lunch. Harry hurried down to the study hoping to catch Snape before he went to lunch. He knocked on the door hoping to hear Snape answer.
"Enter." Severus said sharply.
Harry opened the door and went in, closing it behind him. Snape never looked up to acknowledge him. He walked over and stood in front of the desk, waiting for Snape to notice him. After a few more minutes Snape looked at him with one eyebrow raised in question.
"I finished my paper, Sir." Harry said, handing the paper to Snape.
Severus took the paper from him and set it on his desk.
"After lunch you may spend the day with your friends. We will have your lessons tonight." Severus said. Then went back to his work.
"Thank you, sir." Harry said turning and heading for the door.
Harry stopped at the door and turned back to Snape.
"Sir?" Harry said softly.
Severus looked up to show he was listening.
"Could we go outside for awhile? We won't go far and we'll stay were no one can see us." Harry said quickly.
"Only if Tina is with you. And you must obey her." Severus said sternly, eyes narrowed.
"Yes, sir. We will. Thank you." Harry said with a grin.
Harry hurried out the door to go tell Ron and Hermione. Severus just shook his head and smiled. It didn't take much to make Potter happy. Sighing, he picked up Harry's essay and started reading it.
Xoxoxox
Thanx for the reviews! J
I hope this is alright. I had a hard time doing it. I couldn't figure out how to word it. Hope it's not too horrible. Sorry it is short, too.
Ron and Hermione won't be staying long. Don't worry. I just needed them (mainly Ron) for a few of the chapters. They will be leaving soon.
I hope that Severus is alright. I am trying to make him nicer but it is hard. I just can't picture him being too nice to Harry. Maybe a little though.
I'll try to get the next one out sooner. This one took awhile 'cause I was upgrading my computer. It is no longer from the Stone Age. Yippee!
Thanx again for the reviews.
Rhi