Offing Ecklie

Pairings: Nick and Sara; Grissom and Catherine

Spoilers: Mea Culpa

A/N: All of my CSI fiction never mentions Conrad Ecklie's promotion and the split of the graveyard shift. My stories occur as if these two things never happened.

Grissom tells his fantasy and the games begin.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of CSI. If I did, Ecklie would have never been promoted and the team remained intact. In fact, if I had things my way, Ecklie would be demoted to traffic cop or dog catcher.

Grissom's Chapter – The Modern Julius Caesar Method

"Thanks, Greg," Grissom said after swallowing a bite of his pizza. "Just so you know, that is going to be your second and last Sex on the Beach you are going to drink today. I don't think Brass will be happy cleaning up your mess."

"Come on, Gris," Nick said. "Let's hear your story."

"This is very loosely based on a modern day version of William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar," Grissom said.

I was waiting in the hallway to talk to Ecklie at his office. It was a matter that concerned my team. I paced nervously and breathing heavily. I just want this meeting done and over with regardless of what he had to say.

"Gil, in my office now," Ecklie said and I cringed.

"Yes, Ecklie," I said as I slowly proceeded into his office.

"I have decided to split the team," he said. "Catherine will be supervising Swing Shift. Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown will be in her team. You will remain supervisor of Graveyard. Sara Sidle-Stokes will stay a part of your team. Greg Sanders, pending how he does with his proficiency exams, will also be on your team. Sophia will be demoted and join you."

I just sat there in silence for a few moments. How I am going to tell them the bad news? Nick and Sara working separate shifts? That is heresy indeed. First, I would tell Catherine she got her promotion, but not in the shift she wanted. Then, I would tell them the bad news. I should definitely talk to Nick and Sara alone. I didn't want them to learn they won't be working together from the human reptile himself. It had to come from me.

"Ecklie, I don't think it is the right thing to do," I said. "It was an oversight on my part. Do you have to take out on the rest of the team? What about the shift's favorite couple Nick and Sara? Whenever I have them working together, they are the most professional. I have never heard any complaints about them working together. Whatever problems you have with them, talk to them."

"This isn't about Mr. and Mrs. Stokes," Ecklie said. "It's about your leadership and inability run the lab. My decision is final."

Not if I can help it, I thought.

I called on a meeting with the team in the break room. I was debating whether to wait for Nick and Sara or proceed without them. I decided to go full speed ahead without Nick and Sara. I want them to be the last to know.

"Conrad split the team," I said. "Catherine, you are supervising Swing Shift."

"I wanted Day Shift," Catherine protested.

"I know you did," I told her. "Ecklie made up his mind."

"So, who is going where?" Warrick asked while thinking about Nick and Sara.

"Warrick, you will be with Catherine," I said heavily. "Greg, you will be Sophia and me."

"Are Nick and Sara going to be together with you or Catherine?" Warrick asked.

I took several deep breaths. This was going to hard and I would have to tell them when I see them.

"Nick will be with you and Catherine," I said with more heaviness than before. "Sara will be with Sophia, Greg and me."

"That son of bitch really did it this time!" Warrick exploded. "In a way, I am glad you told us before telling Nick and Sara. I don't want to see what happens next."

I left the break room with more sadness than ever. I looked out the window and saw Nick and Sara getting out of Nick's Tahoe. They were stealing a few moments before he opened the back of the Tahoe and they took out two boxes both containing pastries from their favorite bakery. I had a tears streaming down my face. They had been through a lot in the four years they've known each other. He was the one that encouraged Sara to get out more. He was there for her when she learned Hank was cheating on his girlfriend with her. He helped her recover from the trauma of the lab explosion that left her and Greg Sanders injured. Sara took Nick in while he was recuperating from injuries suffered after Nigel Crane pushed him out of a second story window and his place became a crime scene. She was the first to comfort him when he told her about his molestation by a last minute babysitter when he was nine. He had told Catherine and me, but we didn't him offer a shoulder to cry on. She was there for him after that psycho woman pulled a gun on him. Telling them this news was going to be tough.

"Nick, Sara, come to my office now," I said heavily.

"What the hell did we do wrong now?" Sara asked with dread in her voice.

"You aren't in trouble," I said. "However, we need to talk."

I saw the dreaded looks from them and I just wanted to embrace them. We sat in my office and there was an eerie silence. I thought about how I was going to tell them about the split and the other split.

"What do you have to tell us?" Nick asked.

"Ecklie split our shift," I said calmly, but my tone became agitated with what I had to say next. "Nick you are working in Swing with Catherine and Warrick. Sara you will work with Greg, Sophia and me."

"That is one fucking piece of scum!" Nick exploded. "Who does he think he is to destroy a wonderful team? Grissom let me be the first to say that I want that bastard's head on a silver platter."

Sara was crying and let out a blood curdling scream before Nick held her tightly.

"Is there a place you can go to be alone for a while?" I asked. "Like a park or a coffee shop?"

"Why do you ask?" Nick said calmly and gave me a strange look.

"Go with Sara and take some time," I said with great compassion.

Nick nodded and took Sara out of the building. I was left to deal with their reactions.

Meanwhile in Ecklie's office, Sophia barges in and confronts him.

"Sophia, didn't your mother teach you to knock?" he asked.

"Conrad, I could give rat's ass about manners," she snapped. "Why am I getting demoted?"

"I split the graveyard shift," Ecklie said with a snakelike smile. "Catherine Willows is now supervising Swing Shift and you are going to Grissom's team."

"Ecklie, beware the Ides of January," Sophia said.

(A/N: Okay, I know that William Shakespeare wrote, "Beware the Ides of March. However, in this story the former graveyard shift and Sophia don't want to wait until March 15 to do something to Ecklie.)

"Sophia, what are you talking about?" he asked angrily.

"Beware the Ides of January," Sophia said absentmindedly.

"Get out of my office!" Ecklie shouted. "Don't come back until you can think of something else to say besides 'beware the Ides of January'!"

"Piss off!" Sophia said under her breath and stormed out of the office.

Meanwhile, at the Las Vegas Botanical Garden, Nick and Sara were walking and laughing.

"I can't believe you made Sophia tell that scum that," Nick said to Sara. "I never knew you had that in you!"

"I was reading Julius Caesar while you were sleeping," she said. "A man that has been dead for nearly 400 years could inspire a certain brunette CSI to avenge the two splits."

"Two splits, Sara, what are you talking about?" Nick asked.

"That bastard split our shift," she said. "Then he had the nerve to send you to Swing and keep me in Graveyard."

"Now, I understand," Nick said. "Hey do you want to have someone prank call Ecklie?"

"Yes, that way it can't be connected to us," she said.

The spotted a kid no more than 16 with a magenta and purple Mohawk, multiple piercings and numerous tattoos walking near them. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from some metal concert.

"Hey kid," Nick said. "Come here! We need to ask you for a favor."

"Sure," the punk kid said. "What is it?"

"We would like you to go to that pay phone and call this number," Sara said giving the guy the number. "Tell the person to 'Beware the Ides of January'."

"Whoa, I thought Shakespeare wrote 'Beware the Ides of March'," the kid said.

"We are doing something different," Nick said. "Ask for Conrad Ecklie. If he asks you who you are just say that you are a clairvoyant. You tell him that somebody wants to throw him a party for his promotion! You got that!"

"Yes, sir and ma'am," the kid said.

"He just made us feel old," Sara whispered.

"Shut up, Sara," Nick whispered. "Let's hear what this kid has to say to the piece of shit."

After the kid made the call, Nick and Sara thank him and gave him some money for his trouble. They continued to look at the cacti and thoughts of Ecklie came to their heads. What if they could drag that weasel to the desert and hurl him to the saguaro. No, there would be a better plan being hatched at the crime lab.

"I think we should get back to the lab," Nick said. "Grissom is worried sick about us. How are you feeling Mrs. Stokes?"

"I am a little better," Sara said. "I am very tired right now!"

"Let's get back to the crime lab," Nick said.

Suddenly, Sara's cell phone went off.

"Sidle-Stokes!" she answered.

"Sara, this is Gil," I said. "How are you and Nick doing?"

"We are both a lot calmer," Sara said. "We are on our way to the crime lab."

"Meet us at the break room," I told her. "We are going to Catherine's place to have a private meeting."

"We will be there ASAP," Sara said and we hung up.

Meanwhile, back in the crime lab, I was walking to check on my bugs. I felt some creepiness behind me. I realized that it was Ecklie. He was in a bad mood, but he appeared to be in shock.

"Gil, are you and your soon to be former team behind this mental torture shit?" he asked.

"No, Conrad, why do you insinuate these things?" I asked innocently.

"Sophia was in my office acting like a fucking lunatic," he said. "She told me to beware the Ides of January. I also got all these anonymous phone calls telling me the same thing!"

"I thought it was beware the Ides of March," I said with great naïveté.

"Gil, that is not funny!" Ecklie exploded. "I am this close to having Sophia committed to an institution. I have a feeling that your guys are behind this. I suspect Stokes and his wife! If I find out that it is them, Nick and Sara will definitely not work together ever again!"

"I will talk to them and find out what is going on," I reassured him in a false sense of security.

"I want documentation on my desk by the end of the week," he said and left.

Whatever, you jackass, I thought. He doesn't even have a fucking clue as to what we have planned for him.

After a brief meeting in the break room, we were at Catherine's place. Lindsey was sleeping over at a friend's place.

"Who is going to buy those costumes?" Greg asked.

"Greg, you are going with Sophia and Brass to buy them," I said. "Remember, we have to dress up like that crazy psycho from Scream. It is the only way he won't notice who we are."

"That's a great idea," Nick said. "Greggo, make sure that the masks are the Scream psycho ones and not the Scary Movie ones. We don't want that no good pile of slime to think this is a joke!"

"Nick, what is the difference?" Greg asked.

"Scream is that horror flick trilogy," Nick explained while rolling his eyes. "Scary Movie is a trilogy that's a parody of Scream. We need to look menacing and psychotic, not stupid and crazy!"

"Nicky, don't confuse the newest CSI," Sara said.

Sophia, Brass and Greg left to buy the costumes. Warrick, Nick, Sara, Catherine and I were sitting in Catherine's living room. There was silence, but that didn't last long.

"After we do the deed," I said. "Sara, you will be with Catherine, Warrick and Nick. I can deal with just Sophia and Greg. I just want our favorite couple to be happy."

"No, I want to be with my wife at my old shift," Nick said. "Trade Warrick and me to Graveyard for Sophia and Greg."

"When Ecklie is permanently out of the way," Catherine said. "I will put in the paperwork."

"No, I think we should go back to the old shift," I said.

"We shall soon figure it out, Gil," Catherine said. "First, we have to take care of somebody."

An hour later, Sophia, Brass and Greg returned with several packages. Nick grabbed the packages Greg was holding. He looked inside to see if it was the Scream masks and not the Scary Movie ones. When he was satisfied, Nick gave Greg hard pat on the back. Everyone in that room receive one costume each. We were given instructions meet at a certain spot in the desert. A friend of Greg's was going to help provide a van for us.

"Let's have something to drink," I said. "We need to toast our brilliance. How about we have a round of beers? I am treating!"

We went to the bar and had a round of beers. I saw Nick and Sara just laughing and smiling. I wasn't going to tell them what that vile reptile told me of his paranoid suspicions. I knew that they did the right thing. We all went our separate ways and went home to rest.

The Ides of January finally came, Ecklie walked out of the crime lab building. He was smiling a reptilian smile. He was thinking his sadistic thoughts about the team he had split. His smile became more reptilian when he thought of ways to torture Nick and Sara whom he accused of driving him to angry insanity. Suddenly, he was surrounded by a bunch of people disguised as the psycho from Scream. He tried to shove them away, but he felt a steak knife being plunge into his shoulder. He screamed. More steak knives were being plunged until the one of the psychos gave him the fatal stab.

"Et tu, Sydney," Ecklie said not realizing there was no Sydney in the group and he died soon afterwards.

Doctor Robbins loaned a body bag for the occasion. Brass, Greg, Nick Warrick and I still wearing our costumes put Ecklie's body in the bag and loaded him on to the van. Catherine, Sara and Sophia were already inside when the rest of us entered it. Greg volunteered to drive us plus the late Ecklie to the desert.

We finally arrived at the desert. Nick, Greg and Warrick took Ecklie's wrapped body out of the van. They removed the body out of the bag and dumped it in a ditch that was dug out for that purpose. The costumes and knives were also dumped along with the body. Brass and I replaced the sand that was dug up. Sara put a stick as a marker.

"I would like to say goodbye and good riddance, Conrad," I said. "May you rot in Hell! I hope the bugs puke at you!"

An hour later, we were already back in the crime lab. Nobody was working at the moment. We heard loud music coming from the break room and throughout the building. There were a lot of happy people dancing, screaming, giggling, singing and just having a good time. I guess with Ecklie out of the way, our colleagues could finally enjoy their jobs again.

"Greg, why don't you play that Black Flag CD?" I said. "You know what, crank up the volume."

"Sure, I will ask Archie to play it," Greg said.

I was looking for Nick. I needed to tell him something about possible changes, but he wasn't in the break room or anyplace else. I heard a man and a woman heavy breathing, sighing and squeaking coming from the locker room. It was followed by a woman shrieking 'Yes! Yes! Yes!'. I opened the door and sure enough it was Nick and Sara. Only I wish that they could have waited until they got home to do it, but this was celebratory sex. I left those crazy kids alone.

Two weeks later, I was promoted to the position vacation by Ecklie's fortunate demise. Catherine became the day shift supervisor and was in charge of Warrick, Nick and Sara. Sophia was promoted back to a shift supervisor, the night shift. Her team consisted of Greg and Hodges. Everyone was happy with new situation. Speaking of happy new situations, Nick and Sara just learned there will be a new member of the Stokes family arriving in nine months.

This is the end of my story.

"That is an awesome story, Grissom," Nick said. "That thing about the sex towards the end was a nice touch. A new member of the Stokes family is a cute moment in a dark story."

"Nicky, let's go to Ellie's room and start trying," Sara chuckled.

"Kids, wait until you get home," Brass smiled.

Greg staggered from the bathroom to the couch in between Nick and Sara. He looked like shit and probably felt like it too.

"I am sorry, Grissom," Greg said. "I missed part of your story!"

"Greggo, who asked you to have another Sex on the Beach?" Sara asked in a chastising tone. "We only had one drink each, but you chose to have a second one!"

"Sara, stop screaming at me!" Greg said. "I have a headache."

"Greg, just go to the guest room and lay down for a while," Brass said. "You need a little rest."

"Greggo, before you go," Nick said. "Don't take your hangover out on my wife. She was just being concerned for you!"

Greg nodded and went to the guest room. The rest of the party was sitting in brief silence.

"Catherine, why don't you go next?" Warrick asked.

"I would be glad to," Catherine said.

TBC