A/N This story should be ending soon, I feel like it's getting rather long.

I woke up alone in Jake's bed and immediately shot my head up to look for him. I wanted to call out for him, but my throat was in no condition.

As soon as I stood up, Jake appeared at the doorway sporting a very familiar look in his face. It was one that I hoped never to see again.

"I love you," I spoke wanting to wipe that horrible look off his face before he could do any damage.

I ran to him and clung to his tall frame.

"Please don't look like that Jacob. I love you."

He smiled warmly and softly wrapped his arms around me.

"Bella are you happy?"

I looked up at him, my expression was torn and I doubt I looked convincing as I spoke. "Yes! Yes Jake, I'm happy. I'm happy whenever I'm with you!"

He smiled, but his eyes showed me that what I said was not what he wanted to hear.

"And when I'm not with you?"

I thought about what to say, what I thought he wanted to hear me say.

"Jake, when ever your not around, I hurt. I need you. You make me happy, Without you life is hell. Believe that."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I do," I smiled triumphantly, but the feeling passed. "That's the problem."

"Wha-what do you mean?" my voice was getting higher and I felt the warmth that usually radiated from Jacob into me fade.

"Nothing," he paused for a moment. "Bella, that promise you made me...you said you would call me whenever one of your vampires was around."

"I did! I did Jacob! At school, Alice just wanted to talk and I called you immediately after. Please Jake, I called you! I wouldn't keep things like that from you..."

"Well, have you noticed that whenever the vampire who you seem to be around the most is near, you never call?" His voice wasn't accusatory, but I knew who he was talking about. Edward.

"Jake..."

"I now you never did it on purpose, but I just thought it was weird that you could call me when it was Alice you were with and not her brother." I noticed he was avoiding his name.

"Jake, It's you I want! It's you I choose! I love you, doesn't that mean anything to you anymore?"

Jacob wasn't hiding any of the pain he was feeling. Jacob never hid anything from me. He squeezed me harder and his breathing became irregular.

"Bella, that means everything to me. Your love. Just know that I will always love you too. I'll always be here for you and-"

"What is this all about?" I interrupted. "If you love me then why are we even having this conversation?" My last chance at stopping whatever was coming was to just throw out this entire conversation.

"You still love him. You're miserable and..." He turned away from me and I could see a few streams fall from his eyes. I had never seen Jake cry before. "Bella," he was barely audible. "I don't think that me being with you is best for either of us right now."

"No!" I yelled. I wasn't going to let him sabotage our entire relationship without good reason. "Don't leave me Jake," I begged. "I need you Jake, please! You're all I have. You know how much I need you! You know why I need you. Don't make me feel that way again! Please! I don't want to hurt anymore!"

He still didn't face me. His fists clench tight and he was quivering. If I hadn't seen him crying earlier, I would have thought that he was about to make the change. After a while of him not saying anything, I grabbed his arm.

"Jake, why are you doing this?" I kissed the back of his hand and pulled it closer to me. "I'll do anything. I'll do anything you want. I just want to be with you."

I turned him back to me and kissed him on the lips. Both of our faces were wet as I crushed my lips onto his. I kissed him with everything I had and he did the same. There was both a need and want behind the kiss.

I knew by how our kiss felt that Jacob's love for me was as strong at it had ever been. He would love me always and no matter what, nothing would change that. The mixed signals I was getting threw me off balance.

When we parted I saw the love in his eyes. Every movement he made, the energy he gave off, every sense of his being screamed at me that he didn't ever want to part with me. His words however, the falseness to them I couldn't understand.

"I will always be here Bella."

"It doesn't have to be this way Jacob. Whatever reason you're doing this for, I don't care." I grabbed both of his hands in mine and he caught me in a hard stare and spoke.

"I imprinted."

My hands released his and avoided looking at him. It made so much sense now. It wasn't his fault. It was destiny, he couldn't fight it and neither could I. It didn't stop the pain though. Now I had no one.

I bit my lip hard to keep myself from giving the agony I felt a voice.

I never should have pursued my love for Jake. I should have guarded my heart more carefully. Of course he was going to leave me someday. It was revealed to me so clearly that I would only end up in pain...Maybe that was how I was supposed to feel. I didn't deserve love.

I tried not to feel anything with Jake still standing in front of me. I could hear my old companions calling out for me, pulling me back in to oblivion. I pushed it all back. I couldn't cry in front of him.

"Sam. I need you to drive Bella home now," I heard Jake's wavering voice come out in shallow breaths.

Sam appeared at the door and I was going to chance one final look at Jacob before leaving, but decided not to. Nothing good would come of it.

I followed Sam to his car and he drove me back home. It was a silent drive and I hid myself from him, trying to block out the pain.

"Just a few more minutes," I thought to myself.

I needed to only wait until I got home. I didn't want the vision of me crying to get back to Jake when he and Sam next turned.

When he reached my house, I opened the door and was about to run out when Sam reached for my hand.

"Bella, he loves you. You've dated vampires and werewolves. Imprint or not, you more than anyone should know that you can fight nature. Don't give up on him."

I let the hidden meaning in Sam's words pass by me. I was in no condition to be deciphering messages like that. I ran into my empty house and leaned my back against the front door behind me.

The ache finally pushed its way to my center and I cried out loudly. I didn't know how much more my heart could take. I had never felt so lonely in my life. The pain was almost unbearable. I found myself wishing that I had no family. Because of them, I would have to keep living in torture. Because of Charlie and Renee, I would have to pretend to be strong when all I really wanted to do was die. I was living my life for the sake of others and not my own.

I made my way back to my room clutching my stomach tightly. I heard the sound of a car pulling up in front of the house and ran the rest of the way after I had reached the top of the stairs. I didn't want anyone to see me in my state.

As I ran to my door, I tripped and my face met with the cold wooden floor. I didn't bother to pick myself up and cried feeling comfort in my physical pain. Physical pain was much more bearable than the kind I would always be feeling now.

The physical pain I felt subsided after a few minutes, but I had to curl myself up into a ball because It was the closest I could get to gathering up the pieces of myself all alone.

I placed both palms on the floor in an attempt to push myself up, but I found myself falling back into the floor as one of my hands pushed down on one end of a loose floorboard. The other end flew upwards and hit me in my forehead.

I slumped back to the floor feeling the darkness surrounding me faster than it ever had before. I welcomed it with open arms wondering why it had taken so long to come in the first place.

Cold as winter, strong as stone;
She faced the darkness all alone.
A silver goddess; a reflection.
A mirage; a recollection.
No return; no turning back.
The past is gone, the future, black.
Serpents gather in their nest,
And she stands above the rest.
shadows hunt; she hunts the shadow.
The moon is risen; she stands below.
She views her world through the eyes of others.
Black and white; there are no colors,
As she looks down upon a shattered youth.
A shattered mirror shows a shattered truth.

- Shattered Mirror

A/N Not really much to say. A lot happened. Do you guys want me to rewrite this chapter in Jake's perspective? I understand if you guys want more of his side of the story. If not, I'll just write the next chapter normally.