Disclaimer: Property of Cowlip, Showtime, and the rest of them. I'm just happy they don't get angry at me for borrowing them once in a while.
Rooftops
Chapter 6
Hotshot
Ben was sitting alone in his room staring at the screen of his computer. It was barely eleven o'clock and he should have been out with Michael, or in the least out with his friends, somewhere far away from the threat of having a run-in with his parents.
Instead he was still sitting in his room, alone, listening to his parents come in from their night on the town.
It was finished; he was amazed by that fact. He had been stuck on his writing for weeks, nearly since the first time he had spoken to Michael he'd been at a dead standstill. This morning had been different. Words had suddenly spilled forth. He'd only stopped to hop in the shower, interrupting himself, because he knew that Michael was coming over.
If he really admitted it to himself he knew that Michael was the reason he had been inspired to finish writing. It was something that he had said on the roof of Vic's building a few nights before. Ben couldn't even remember the words.
After recounting his friendship with Brian Michael had talked about his family. He had said something about Debbie that stuck with Ben. He had talked about how much he really did love his mother and that being why she drove him crazy.
Ben's piece was about coming out, about accepting himself as a teenager and a young adult, and about becoming himself as he showed himself to the people around him. It was about loving himself and his family and friends, and that being what drove him crazy. It was so out there, but yet, when he worked it all out on paper it made perfect sense.
It had all just clicked into place.
But then Ben had walked back into his room, half dressed to find Michael sitting at his computer, reading his words off of the screen. He'd gone off on Michael.
It wasn't finished yet, or even edited, and Ben rarely allowed anyone other than professors the opportunity to look at his work in such early stages. It made him nervous.
Even now Michael's questions bounced back at him like thorns.
"I thought you wanted to be published," Michael had argued as he got up out of the chair, backing across Ben's bedroom and away from him.
Of course. That was Ben's dream and he'd said so.
"Well, don't you realize that if you get published people are going to read your work? They're going to make comments on it, good and bad."
"It's private," he'd insisted, "You had no right."
"I'm sorry Ben," Michael apologized, "I just wandered in here and it was open on the screen. You're always talking about your writing and how much your dad hates it so I thought it might be nice to, you know, show some interest."
"I don't want you reading it!" Ben's words had come out sounding a lot more angry and aggressive than he had meant them to.
Michael's eyes had gotten wide.
"Fine." And then he'd just turned and left the room.
Right now Ben still felt a little bit pissed at the betrayal of his privacy, but deeper than that he knew that he needed to find Michael and apologize, especially for the way that he had acted, for everything, really.
He was startled out of his thoughts by a knock at his door. He looked up as his father stuck his head into the room.
"What are you sitting in the dark for?" he asked, as Ben's only source of light was that of the computer screen.
Ben shrugged. "Thinking."
He blinked as his father flipped on the light switch.
"I thought you were going out with Michael tonight?" There were no feelings in his father's voice associated with the question. He'd made his position on Michael perfectly clear on the fourth and now he just treated him as some kind of inanimate object.
Ben shrugged again, "We had an argument. I finished my piece for next year's seminar though."
His father nodded at the information.
"Maybe it's for the best," he said, "You can focus some more on your other schoolwork in your free time now instead of going out every night."
"Sure Dad," Ben said, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach over what he had said to Michael.
"You didn't need the distractions anyway," his father continued.
Ben just nodded. It was too late at night to start this argument with his father again.
His father looked as though he was about to say something further but then just backed out of the room.
Ben looked back at the computer screen, rereading his last few paragraphs a few times. He sighed and shut off his computer. In the morning he had to work and in the afternoon it might be a good idea to start editing… or maybe it would be better to go and find Michael.
By the time he did get out of work the next afternoon Ben couldn't even think about editing his narrative. He needed to do something to relieve the stress he was feeling over the situation with his parents, Michael, and this writing seminar he was trying to prepare for.
It almost made him smile to see that he had an e-mail from Brandon advertising a party that night. That could be exactly what he needed to take the edge off of his miserable feelings.
But then he saw the end of the e-mail. It was like a slap in the face.
'Bring Michael. Don't think I haven't seen you running up to that apartment every day. I want someone to share embarrassing Ben stories with.'
Ben stared for a moment before closing the e-mail and getting up to pull on a clean t-shirt. That was it. He had to go to Michael's.
As he walked up the stairs of the apartment building he realized that Vic was probably at work, and wondered if Michael would even open the door. He certainly couldn't blame him if he didn't. He knocked anyway.
To say the least it startled him when the door opened and a tall, shirtless brunette stood in the doorway. His eyes stared straight through Ben, or at least they seemed to. He was too young for Vic, but Ben could barely believe that Michael had gone out and…
"So, are you going to come in or not?"
This guys voice was smooth an even and he hadn't even asked why Ben was there. Despite his fears Ben found himself stepping inside. The stranger shut the door and passed by him to walk into the living room. He collapsed onto the couch as though he lived there.
Ben stared. The two of them were nothing alike. This guy had dark hair and was nearly as tall as Ben but thin as a rail. At the same time Ben could understand what Michael saw in him, especially as he wasn't wearing a shirt.
He had just pulled together something to say to the stranger when there was a noise further into the apartment.
"Christ, I can't believe you didn't tell me that you were going to come-" Michael spoke loudly as he came out of the bathroom from the shower. He had on a pair of jeans and was holding a shirt in his hand, though he abruptly froze as he took in the scene before him.
"Ben?"
"Hey," Ben replied, now even more concerned with the scene he had walked in on. "I came to uhh… talk to you about yesterday but," he glanced pointedly at the stranger, "I guess now really isn't a good time."
Michael didn't even glance back at his guest. "I didn't think I'd be seeing you again after last night."
"Because we all know Michael has trouble holding onto anything," came the mocking voice from the couch.
"Shut up, Brian," Michael snapped, his head whipping around for just a moment.
"Brian?" Ben asked, more to himself than to anyone else. He knew the name and really did hope that this was just Michael's friend from home.
"Yeah, he surprised me and came up to visit for the weekend," Michael clarified, "Ben Bruckner, Brian Kinney."
Neither of them really looked at one another as he introduced them.
"Oh," Brian smirked, getting up off of the couch, "So you're the big college boy that Mikey's been going on about all week."
That seemed to annoy Michael, "Brian, will you fuck off and give me, like, ten minutes."
As Brian walked between the two of them he brushed particularly close to Ben. "Don't worry, with Michael it's always really easy to kiss and make up."
He paused, leaving a slobbery kiss on Michael's check before disappearing into his bedroom and closing the door.
Michael just stared after him until the door closed. The frown stayed on his face as he turned back to face Ben.
"What are you doing here?" he asked as he finally seemed able to move again, pulling his shirt on over his head.
"I want to apologize, for last night," Ben began. "Michael, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I didn't mean to be such an asshole to you and it was stupid."
"Yeah, it was," Michael agreed.
Ben stared for a moment. Michael seemed agitated. He couldn't tell if it was because of his visit or Brian's.
"It's just, my writing is this big, personal thing. I overreacted when you were reading it because it's not something that I hand over to just anyone. It would be like me getting involved with your arguments with your mother."
He noticed that Michael's eyes flicked briefly toward his bedroom door.
"You wouldn't have any right to get involved. You don't know-"
"Neither do you," Ben interrupted, fighting to keep his voice down.
"I said I was sorry last night. I'm not going to keep apologizing."
"Okay," Ben said. "I won't ask you to. I really don't want you to hate me because I lost it for a few minutes."
Michael took a deep breath. Between Brian being here and the yelling Ben had done at him last night he was exhausted and stressed beyond what he was used to dealing with, even at home.
"Ben," he sighed, "I couldn't hate you no matter what you had done. I just…" another deep breath, "I can't deal with all of this right now."
Ben nodded. He didn't know what Michael meant.
"Tell you what, Brandon's having another party tonight. He told me to bring you. Why don't you bring Brian down with you and have a good time. And you and I can talk when you're ready."
Michael nodded.
Ben turned and left the apartment without another word.
--
"I don't want to go," Michael said from his bed.
"We're going," Brian told him, zipping up his jeans. "I didn't come here to spend a boring night at home playing cards with you and Vic."
"It's a Friday night," Michael reminded him.
"Fine. I'm not here to sneak out to that club with you and run into Vic in the backroom. Is that better?"
Michael scowled at his friend.
Brian grinned at him as he pulled a shirt out of his bag and shrugged it on.
Michael remained sitting on his bed, watching Brian admire himself in the mirror, adjusting his black, buttoned shirt. He looked hot.
"How the hell did you afford that?" he asked.
"Don't worry about it." Brian met his eyes in the mirror. "Aren't you going to change?"
Michael stared back. "I told you, we're not going. And even if we were this is probably the nicest thing that I brought with me."
Brian snorted and began digging through his bag again. A red shirt surfaced and he threw it at Michael.
"You're pathetic."
Michael looked at the shirt and then back at Brian.
"I brought it for you. You'll look hot in it, don't worry." Brian grinned as he opened Michael's bedroom window and lit a cigarette.
"Brian-"
"I said, don't worry about it," Brian assured him, "My job gave me some extra cash and you and Debbie need to talk."
Michael looked up, "What? Brian, what happened?"
Brian just shook his head and Michael got up off of the bed. "Tell me."
"She lost her job at the department store," he said, holding the cigarette away from himself, "She's just working at the diner now."
"Fuck." As Michael peeled off his shirt and pulled on the one Brian had bought him all of the anger at his mother and at Ben fizzled out.
"There's nothing you can do about it," Brian told him, "So don't even think about it until you go home."
"She's not planning to tell me, is she?" he asked.
"Probably not until you get home," Brian confirmed, "You change your mind about the party?"
"I want to go down and talk to Ben."
Brian stared at him. "What is it about this guy?"
"He got really pissed yesterday. I was reading something on his computer that was private, and, I mean, I was never really mad at him. The way he yelled at me just added onto all the stress that's been piling on all summer."
"So why bother?" Brian asked, "You're leaving in three weeks."
Michael didn't answer. Brian wouldn't really understand. He'd always held a special spot for Brian but Ben was so different.
"Ready to go?" Brian asked.
Michael sighed. "Yeah, I guess."
--
The door to the apartment swung open and Brandon stood in the doorway, drink in hand.
"Michael!" he greeted warmly, stepping forward to hug him. His eyes then traveled quickly up and down Brian's frame.
Michael tried not to roll his eyes, "Brandon, this is Brian, my best friend from home. Brian, this is Brandon."
Brian's greeting didn't surprise him at all.
"Please tell me you have some decent booze in there."
Brandon laughed as he ushered them inside, "Of course. Come on, let me get you a drink. Michael, do you want anything?"
"I'm fine," Michael said, "Is Ben here yet?"
Brandon simply gestured vaguely across the room before guiding Brian away. Michael shook his head. Brandon was clearly a bit enamored with Brian. This was going to make things interesting.
He grabbed a cup of whatever beer was floating around and made his way slowly through the crowd.
Ben was leaning against the far wall, talking with a few guys who Michael didn't recognize. When he finally reached them he simply leaned against the wall next to Ben. Ben barely glanced at him.
"I move back in the twenty-fourth of August," Ben said. "It can't come soon enough. I can't wait to get away from my family."
"Take a summer class with me next year," one of them said, "Paying board actually isn't that bad."
"Yeah," Ben glanced at Michael again. "I'll think about it."
"You'd better," the guy bid him goodbye and started across the room toward someone else.
"I didn't think you guys were actually going to come," he said without looking at Michael.
"Like Brian would ever pass up the chance to go to a party," Michael said, his eyes crossing the room to find Brian with Brandon pressed up against a wall. "Looks like things aren't that different here."
"It's kind of hard to wrap my head around the fact that you're friends with someone like him. The way he pushed you around when I was there, manipulated you."
"I'm friends with you, aren't I?"
Ben finally looked at Michael. He was right; they had really just been getting along and not making their intentions clear since they'd met. "Touché."
Michael stepped away from the wall and turned to face Ben, "Earlier, I was stressing out over Brian just showing up and… some other stuff going on. I'm sorry."
"Prove it." Ben knew that they couldn't fall back into just getting along. They had to want this for it to work.
Michael knew this too. He took a deep breath. He had to do something here so he just stopped thinking and acted.
He stepped forward, wrapping a hand up behind Ben's neck and kissing him hard, forcing his tongue past Ben's lips. His forward momentum actually knocked Ben back against the wall.
He hoped that this was the kind of response Ben had been looking for and was pleasantly surprised when Ben started to kiss back, wrapping his arms tightly around Michael's lower back.
After a moment Ben began pushing him, forcing both of them back a few steps. Michael's back hit the table that was placed behind Brandon's couch, but he was too wrapped up in the kiss to really care. Ben surprised him again, lifting him up and setting him on the table so that they were more face to face.
That caught some attention. There were several catcalls and someone jeered, "get a room."
Ben tore his lips from Michael's for a moment and growled, "Fuck off."
It sent a shiver down Michael's spine. He never wanted that tone of Ben's voice directed at him but at the same time it was possessive and made his heart skip a beat or two.
Ben's lips pressed back against Michael's neck, tongue sliding out over the sensitive skin before his teeth dug in. Michael let out a groan, not really caring who was staring or listening. This was the kind of setting he could be comfortable with Ben in. His hand tangled up into Ben's hair, tugging his head back up and crashing their lips together.
"Fuck," Ben grunted.
He pulled Michael forward on the table, pressing his hips to Michael's.
Michael opened his eyes for just a moment, but just long enough to lock eyes with Brian, who was watching from across the room. He was staring, but not with the same look as everyone else. The look in his eyes was more predatory. It wasn't a look that Michael was accustomed to seeing across his friend's features.
He pulled back just a little.
"Ben," he managed, "Can we…"
"Yeah," Ben already seemed to know what he'd meant and didn't even give Michael a chance to get down off of the table. He picked him up and carried him far too easily into Brandon's guest room, kicking the door closed behind them. He dropped Michael onto the bed without much ceremony and made sure the door was securely closed before climbing on top of him.
Michael pulled him in again, wrapping his legs up around Ben's middle as they fell into a comfortable silence.
Ben broke it by groaning, pushing his hips down against Michael's.
His actions forced Michael to move. He pulled away, pushing at Ben to get him to roll off of him. Once Ben was on his back Michael began kissing at his neck and slowly working his way down, his hands reaching for Ben's belt.
Ben stopped him almost immediately. "Michael, you don't have to."
"I want to," Michael told him, "I wouldn't if I didn't."
Ben seemed hesitant but Michael was determined. He pushed Ben's hand out of the way and continued with the task he had set before himself. He pushed down on Ben's jeans and wrapped a hand around him and leaned up, giving him a searing kiss.
Ben's hand remained relaxed around the back of Michael's head as he descended, tightening in his hair as Michael's lips closed around Ben's cock. He grunted , struggling not to lift his hips off of the mattress.
Michael grinned, his hands digging into Ben's hips, because Ben was actually responding to everything he did. He took more of Ben into his mouth, moving slowly, purposefully.
Ben could barely form a coherent thought though he did force out a strained groan of, "Michael," in warning.
Michael pulled back and with a few quick strokes of his hand finished Ben off. He smirked, rolling half onto Ben and kissing his shoulder as Ben tried to catch his breath.
"There is no way I was nearly that good at that when I was seventeen," he gasped.
Michael frowned a bit, as he hated their difference in age being referenced to. But he forced a grin to his lips as he replied, "I blame it on the fact that I grew up with Brian."
"Hmm…"Ben mused, "I think I'm going to stick with my assumption that you're just naturally talented." He turned his head just slightly and kissed Michael.
"So, am I forgiven?" Michael asked, "For reacting this morning and for reading your work?"
"Yeah," Ben nodded before he started laughing, "Does that make this make up sex?"
Michael began to laugh too, "Only if you return the favor."
Ben's laughing slowed as he raised an eyebrow, "I can do that."
He quickly pushed Michael over onto his back, earning him something akin to a pleased groan from Michael.
--
There was no fanfare when they left the bedroom much to both of their happiness. Another couple was ready and waiting to push their way inside. Ben grabbed them both drinks and guided Michael over to a group of his friends from school, introducing him and striking up a conversation about classes.
When Michael finally spotted Brian again he and Brandon were coming out of Brandon's bedroom and Brian had a smug smirk cross his face. Michael squeezed Ben's hand and began walking toward his friend.
Ben looked up as Michael walked off and chuckled as Brandon joined them.
"Have a good time?" he asked Brandon as Michael tried to steer Brian away from the alcohol without much success.
Brandon nodded, taking a sip of his drink, "I think it's a first."
"What is?"
Brandon just tilted his head to the side, giving Ben a look.
"You let him top?"
"He's a persuasive little son of a bitch," Brandon told him. "And what about you and Michael? That was a nice little show the two of you put on."
Ben shook his head, "Don't worry about it."
He wasn't going to give his friends anything to gossip about. They were all going to think what they wanted no matter what he said anyway.
He glanced over Brandon's shoulder toward where Michael was arguing with his slightly belligerent friend, and obviously losing as Brian was holding a bottle of something.
As Ben made his way over Michael as Brian drained half of the bottle.
"Oh, you're going to be pleasant in the morning," Michael muttered, shaking his head.
Brian shrugged and walked off amid the crowd. Ben just wrapped an arm around him, guiding him back toward a larger group of people.
"Don't worry about him right now. You're here to have a good time."
Michael was also fairly intoxicated by the time they left. Ben walked upstairs with them, making plans with Michael for after Brian left. He figured that it was a good idea to give him some time with his friend.
Michael unlocked the door before turning to Ben again. "Are you sure I won't see you tomorrow?"
Brian rolled his eyes. "I'm going to bed, Mikey. Don't be out here all night."
And then he grabbed Michael and kissed him, right on the lips, before slipping past him, sending Ben a predatory look and disappearing into the apartment.
Michael didn't even seem thrown by it, but then, it had been a long night and they had fought about more than enough issues.
"I'll come by after work on Monday," he told Michael as he leaned down, pressing a kiss to Michael's lips.
Michael clung to him for a moment, not wanting the night to end. Ben didn't want it to either. He pressed himself onto his tiptoes and kissed Ben once more, letting himself be pressed back against the doorframe.
"Monday," Michael nodded when Ben finally pulled back.
Ben smiled and headed back downstairs to the party.
--
When Monday morning rolled around Michael was completely ready for the phone call he received.
"Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?"
"Hi Ma," he said, trying to bite back a grin.
"I'm waiting."
Michael shrugged even though he knew that his mother couldn't see it. "I thought Uncle Vic might have told you, and I knew Brian would when he got home."
"But you didn't."
"Ma, it's not a big deal. It's not even very serious. I'm coming home at the end of the month so it's not going to last very long."
"It's still better than Brian coming into my house with tricks every night."
"Okay," Michael agreed. She was right, it was.
"So, come on, I want to hear about him."
Michael flushed, "His name's Ben. He's in college."
"Where?"
"Yale."
"Yale?" She seemed a bit shocked.
"Yeah," Michael repeated, "He's really smart and uhh…" he stumbled over his words, getting a little bit uncomfortable with where this conversation could possibly be heading.
"Can we talk about something else?"
His mother was quiet for a moment. Obviously she wanted to ask more questions but he could be just as stubborn as she was.
Finally she spoke again, "Why does Brian have a black eye."
Michael sighed. One of the first things he had asked Brian was if his parents knew that he was in New York. Brian had said yes, but then Brian lied a lot.
"I don't know Ma, maybe one of his tricks elbowed him in the eye or something."
"Michael, it's a fucking shiner. I know what that looks like."
"I don't know, Mom." Michael said. He wasn't going to tell his mother what was going on in Brian's life. He and Brian very rarely talked about it with more than just looks, and although he was sure his mother knew exactly what was going on it was his place to say anything.
"Michael Charles…" she began, "don't give me that bullshit."
"Ma," Michael made an effort to make himself sound rushed, "Ben's at the door. I've got to go. I'll call you in a few days."
"Uh huh." There was no way she believed him.
"Bye."
"Love you too, Sweetheart."
He hung up and collapsed back across the bed. That was the good part, Ben was coming over in a few short hours and he was three weeks away from having to deal with his mother.
-
A/N: Just to make it clear how busy my semester is going to be, I've been finished with this for two weeks and today was the first chance I had to sit down to edit/post this. I'm really hoping that I can work out a schedule where I have some actual time to write. Once work starts up on the weekends I should be fine, and my spring break trip should offer plenty of time for writing. I hope you're all enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it.
And in case anyone's interested. I just finished outlines for a sequel or two when this is done.
-Megan