So, I'm sure some of you are wondering how everything is going to tie together. Well, last night I had an epiphany as far as this story's direction is concerned. I really think/hope that y'all (Texas girl) will like it. I've been doing different chapters from different characters points of view. I feel like there are so many complex and interesting characters on this show that I can't possibly just focus on R/M or S/S. Here's the next chapter through Caitlyn's eyes, with the tail end focusing on Ryan's past.

Chapter IX: Don't Shoot the Messenger

There was a part of Caitlyn that missed the life she had led when she went to boarding school. A small part. And, that part didn't include the heinous uniforms, the unyielding teachers, the never-changing regime, and especially the lacking of hot boys. But, now that she was back in Newport, she knew that those problems would now be a thing of the past. Looking around Volchek's messy loft, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy that she had not been the first Cooper girl to inhabit these sheets. She wondered what her sister would think when she found out. Knowing that it was only a matter of time before someone let it slip, Caitlyn smiled at the thought of her sister coming in second in someone's eyes. Even if Marissa had always been the apple of her parents eyes, Volchek was all her's.

"Hey sexy," he huffed, opening the door from the bathroom, revealing his toned abs to her. Caitlyn couldn't help but stare at him as he came closer to her. He walked slowly, relishing her eyes taking long glances at his towel-clad body. Just as he had reached her side and was beginning to lean in for a kiss, the doorbell startled the two out of their trance and back into reality. Volchek bolted upright and began to haphazardly hide all of his drug paraphernalia into his dresser. Caitlyn's eyes widened with a mixture of excitement and fear, not knowing what to do. As if sensing her unease with the situation, Volchek knew he would have to direct her through this. Damn kids, he thought.

"Go see who it is, will ya?" he gestured towards the door, hoping she would take the hint.

Caitlyn looked at the door, still paralyzed with worry over who might be on the other side of it. It wasn't as if Caitlyn had never answered a door before or she had never dealt with cops before, but this felt different. Knowing that there were enough illegal drugs in this place to put her away for a long time drove Caitlyn's senses into overdrive. She crept towards the door, checking back to see Volchek finish his quick stashing. As she looked through the peephole, two eyes that she had never thought would be standing in front of Volchek's door met her gaze. They were piercing blue….man, her sister did have great taste.

"It's…Ryan," she whispered as she looked back to him for her next move.

Unlike his younger cohort, Volchek had been expecting this visit, although, admittedly, not this soon. As he tried to formulate how he was going to deal with this, his eyes rested upon an option he hadn't even thought of throwing into the mix. Caitlyn. How much would it boil Ryan's blood to see Marissa's sister here? That realization populated all sorts of new possibilities into Volchek's mind.

"Alright…come here. I have an idea," he quickly posited, as Ryan impatiently knocked again. Caitlyn interestedly rushed to hear Volchek's scheme. She settled her right hand onto his bare thigh. "You answer the door….tell him I ain't here," he rushed quickly, "But, make sure you let him know that you're here for more than just a late night study session." Smiling as she rubbed her hand up his thigh, he grabbed the bottom of his oversize t-shirt that she was wearing to emphasize his next statement. "And, why don't you go ahead and let it slip that I passed my G.E.D and got a friend to get me into Berkeley, so I'll be seeing him around soon," he snided, nodding triumphantly as he imagined how his enemy would take that news, "and, once you're done, then come into the bathroom, and I'll clean you up." He grabbed her from behind and kissed her roughly, leaving her breathless and hungry for more before giving her the go-ahead look and then hastily retreating back into the bathroom.

Caitlyn turned towards the door, hesitating a moment before brushing through her still-tangled hair with her fingers.

"Come on, man…We NEED to settle this!! Unless, YOU'RE NOT MAN ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT YOUR BUDDIES!!"

Caitlyn still had no idea what Ryan was talking about, but she had never heard him sound so livid. What she wouldn't give to see both of these guys go at each other. Maybe in a puddle of sticky mud. Brushing that thought to the back of her mind, she opened the door slightly, peeking her head out at him. He looked even more irate than she had imagined he would by hearing his voice.

Once he realized who had answered to door, Ryan's expression changed from fuming mad to utter shock and confusion. For a moment, he could have sworn that he was staring back at Marissa. Since her hair had gotten lighter in the summer and she had grown a few inches, Caitlyn was really starting to resemble her sister. He wasn't really seeing what he thought he was, was he? Ryan leaned back to make sure he had the right door. It looked just like it had last time.

"You're at the right place," she sauntered, openly enjoying the bewilderment on his face. "He's not here right now…"

"Wh….what are you doing here?" he stammered, just now noticing that she was only wearing a large t-shirt, a man's t-shirt….it had to be… "No way, Caitlyn, what in the HELL are you doing HERE?!" Ryan grabbed at her shoulder, hoping that he could force her out of this potential mess that she had gotten herself into. "Caitlyn, if this is some kind of sick joke….or a way to get back at your sister for leaving, it's a bad idea. Does…does your mother know you're here?" he posited, wondering what Julie would think if she knew her younger daughter was off gallivanting with an older man. And, Volchek especially. The thought that he might have used Caitlyn to get to him or to Marissa really infuriated Ryan.

"No…of course she doesn't. She's too doped up to even notice. I bet she still thinks I'm staying at Ashley's from last weekend." She let a bitter laugh escape her lips as she imagined her mother rationalizing her behavior to Neil, reassuring him that she was just "being a teenager", while secretly worrying herself to the point of needing medication to get through the day.

That laugh of hers' resounded heavily in Ryan's mind. He remembered how Marissa had used it as a shield to cover her wounds when they were fighting. Downward spirals were a common occurrence in the Cooper family, and seeing Caitlyn here, obviously lashing out at someone by hanging out with Volchek, brought back familiar feelings within him. What was it with these Cooper girls that always made him want to save them? He didn't know, but he did know that if she continued hanging out here, it could only lead to trouble. And if Marissa were to find out, he was sure it would not turn out good.

"Caitlyn, look, we need to get you out of here. You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into. Just…come with me. We'll get your clothes, and I'll give you…" he said, trying to squeeze his way into the loft.

Caitlyn sprung into action, remembering Volchek's words and knowing that she had to get Ryan out of there before they met face to face.

"Stop, Ryan. Listen," she demanded, her tone shunning its' previous seductive sound for a more agitated one, "I'm not my sister. You don't need to save me out of some desperate and pathetic wish to make things right with her. She's halfway across the world. Do you honestly think she's thinking about you?"

Ryan had wondered the answer to this question for so many nights. His brow furrowed as the harshness of what Caitlyn was saying hit him. Maybe she was right, maybe he was holding on to something that was meant to stay in the past. Since he had never even tried to contact Marissa and apologize, was she still assuming that Volchek was right, that he had cheated on her? Caitlyn sensed that she had struck a nerve, so she decided that now was the best time to hit him with the news that she was sure would send him reeling.

"And, Volchek did tell me that if you stopped by…that he had a message for you."

This omission brought Ryan back from his regret-induced trance. Was this part of Volchek's plan? To use Caitlyn as bait for another attack by his cronies? His eyes started to dart around what little he could see of the apartment. Caitlyn seemed very intent upon not letting him in. What was she hiding?

"Oh yeah….and what's that? Since he's obviously too much of a COWARD," he yelled, emphasizing just in case there was someone behind the door listening, "to tell me himself."

Caitlyn jumped at Ryan's surprising variation in volume, hoping that he wasn't suspecting that she was hiding something, or someone inside the apartment. What would she do if he forced his way in and found him? Her instincts flew into overdrive as she tried to remember what Volchek had instructed her to say.

"Look Ryan…take another hit off the paranoid pipe, kay? Cause, he ain't here. Just…chill…don't shoot the messenger."

Ryan took a deep breath and realized that involving Caitlyn in this any more than she already had been was not a smart move, especially if he ever wanted a chance with Marissa in the future. Looking at Caitlyn, he could see that behind this tough-girl veneer that she was putting up, it was just as difficult for her to be without Marissa as it was for him, albeit for mostly different reasons. He wanted to tell her that this wasn't the way to go about seeking approval from a sister that was half a world away, but he hastily realized that if he did, he would be a hypocrite, the pot calling the kettle black. Was it worse to wear your emotions on your sleeve, thus lashing out in jealousy and resentment, or to repress your emotions until they boiled over in violence?

"Sorry…I'm just a little anxious to get this resolved. Now, you said he had a message for me. What is it?"

Caitlyn breathed in a secret sigh of relief that her plan of diverting Ryan's attention from getting into the apartment had worked.

"He told me to let you know that after he took his G.E.D, he got a friend to get him into Berkeley this fall..."

She smiled triumphantly as she saw the color drain from Ryan's face. Obviously, this was not meant to be taken as good news. However, she couldn't help but stifle a laugh as Ryan fought his imagination over the possibilities that could stem from this revelation. Did this mean that Ryan would have to be constantly watching his back at college? He wasn't sure if he could live like that, always on edge. He had done it once before, but in that situation he had had no choice in the matter. Was it too late to think about transferring to another school or deferring for a semester? No, he thought. Ryan Atwood was not going to cower in defeat while Marissa's smug little sister savored his despair. Who knows what lies Volchek had told her to get her to act this way towards him.

"So I guess he'll be seeing you there," she finished, "I'll tell him you stopped by. Bye Ryan."

And with that said, Caitlyn shut the door on him. Knowing that he would probably stay to see if he could hear another voice inside the apartment, she retreated immediately to the bathroom, where to her pleasant surprise Volchek had already prepared a tempting bubble bath for her. Just as he was about to voice his approval of her handling of the task he had delegated, she hurriedly placed her fingers on his lips. She pointed towards the door to indicate that Ryan was still within hearing distance. As his eyes narrowed in understanding, Volchek decidedly pulled off the shirt Caitlyn was wearing and started assaulting her body with rough, passionate kisses. Moaning with consent, she helped him undress, and they both jumped in the bathtub.

For such a young girl, Caitlyn sure did seem to know what she was doing. And, although Volchek knew that he was only using her because she reminded him of her much more tempting sister, he couldn't get enough of her. This unspoken arrangement seemed to benefit both of them, and Volchek could only hope that she wouldn't do anything stupid to ruin that, like fall in love with him.

Meanwhile, unable to move due to the sneaking suspicion that Caitlyn, in fact, was not alone, Ryan stood silently at the door. Pensively pondering over his next move, he listened at the door as Caitlyn trotted into another room in the apartment and shut the door. Guess I was wrong, he thought.

As he dejectedly abandoned his post at Volchek's front door, his mood transformed once again from apprehensive and solemn to heated and about to bubble over. He had to get some of this aggression he had pent up from the last week's worth of unfortunate situations that he had found himself involved in. Deciding that the punching bag he had installed in the Cohen's pool house was not going to satiate his need to vent his hostility, Ryan absent-mindedly searched the streets of Newport for a place to calm himself down. But, he knew that there was only one place that could give him the kind of environment he was seeking.

Before Ryan knew what he was doing, he found himself back at the place he had been trying for so long to avoid…the place where bad things always seemed to find him…the place where his dreams had been prematurely crushed…Chino. The day had since turned to night, and Ryan was at the one place where he knew he could unleash his frustration on someone.

When he had been a younger boy, Ryan would escape from his house over to Theresa's house when his dad started becoming violent. Sometimes, they would just sit and talk; dreaming of things that they were sure would never come true. For a new bike, or maybe a new pair of designer jeans. After a while, all those material things seemed unimportant, and there was only one wish that Ryan hoped for: to be able to defend his mom from his dad.

Then, other times, Ryan and Arturo would go to this local hangout, Jack's, and sneak into their attic to watch the underground street-fighting league they had going on. Theresa didn't like it there, and would often beg Ryan not to go. But, it quickly became like an addiction for him. Seeing all of these repressed, raging men taking out their lives' disappointments on each other totally fascinated him. Pretty soon thereafter, Ryan had started stepping out of the shadows from Jack's dirty attic and into the ring.

Flashback

"Alright, fellas...LISTEN UP!" Charlie, the announcer exclaimed as he herded the sweaty, agitated men into a semi-circle. "You know the rules…new matches first. Tonight we have newbie Ryan, although I'm told he's been watching fights from the attic for several years now."

Ryan ducked his head, embarrassed that his secret had been revealed in front of all these much-older men.

"So…let's initiate him in right…HOW BOUT IT?"

The men erupted into applause, anxious with anticipation to see this young, fresh meat get his ass kicked. To them, there was nothing like the smell of untainted blood.

"Now, I think it's only right that we give him the man that has become the right of passage, if you will, for all newbies. THE MAN, THE MYTH……THE INITIATOR!"

Ryan had known when he agreed to take the fight that they would be putting him against Bill, The Initiator, Walsh. He was the toughest guy in there, working construction by day and training by night for a career in professional wrestling that had never come. For the past six months, he had forgone his solo training in favor of this no-holds-barred style of grappling. Ryan had seen many a new guy meet their match with this 6"5, 220 beast. It was almost as if he got some sort of revenge by beating the crap out of unsuspecting strangers. As he saw Bill moving closer to the ring out of the corner of his eye, all thoughts of backing out were no longer possible. Even his sweat glands had foreseen the result of this match as they began to profusely eliminate beads down his face.

"Hey…kid, heard you requested me? Boy, you must be some kind of moron!"

Ryan stayed silent, hoping that he hadn't just made a move that could potentially kill him. He watched while Bill stepped into the ring to a booming applause from the audience, sneaking occasional glances at Arturo, who just shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head in understanding.

Next, it was Ryan's turn to get into the ring. Whereas the sound had been full of excitement and admiration when Bill had been introduced, not much could be heard when Ryan jumped under the ropes.

"And…our fresh meat…Hailing all the way from Ducet St. in South Chino…Ryan Atwood!"

Trying not to let the flooding of boos get to him, Ryan began stretching his arms for the fight. Peeking over at Bill, he couldn't help but notice that Bill's arms were almost the size of his head. As they gathered in the center of the ring, Ryan suddenly felt the need to pray.

"Our father…who are't in heaven," he muttered, hoping that the divine would find a way to get him through this one.

"Are you prayin', kid?" Bill mocked, struggling to contain his amusement, "That's rich…HEY…EVERYONE…Looks like sonny-boy here's already praying to God for this to be over with!"

All of the observers laughed with Bill, although many of them remembered how terrified they had felt when Bill had initiated them.

"Okay…okay…enough talk, let's get this over with, so I can go home and eat. The wife's makin' Shepard's Pie…my favorite!" Bill continued. The referee looked for the nod from both parties before signaling to begin. For the first minute, Ryan and Bill just sized each other up, each eager for the other to make the first move so they could be on the defense. Ryan's adrenaline was pumping furiously, but he did not want to make the mistake of being too fervent and getting caught off guard.

Finally, getting perturbed by the lack of action, Bill moved in for the kill. He buried a right hook into Ryan's shoulder, causing the boy to stumble backwards a few steps. Seeing this as his opportunity, Bill pounced on Ryan like he had done to so many adolescent boys before. Hitting blow after blow to Ryan's face and body, Bill's confidence kicked him into overdrive. But, the difference was that Ryan was expecting this. Taking all the pent-up aggression he had accumulated throughout the past 16 years, he grabbed Bill by the wrist as he attempted to punch him in the stomach. Bill looked somewhat surprised to see this young kid attempt this type of block with such unbridled force. Ryan, sensing that this might be his only chance to get a shot in before Bill' superior size and experience took over, promptly thrust his right knee into Bill's groin.

As his eyes widened in shock, Bill plummeted heavily to the floor. The groans of sympathy and gasps of astonishment could be heard throughout the ever-increasing crowd. For what seemed like an eternity, no one moved or spoke a word, unsure of what to do next since this situation had never happened before. At least not to Bill the Initiator. As Ryan watched the arrogant, boisterous man huddled in the fetal position, he couldn't help but feel vindicated for all those times he had cowered away in fear from his father. This was the test he had needed to pass to prove to himself that he was ready. Ready to take on anyone who tried to hurt him or his family again. Ready to be the man that his mother so desperately needed. Ready to fight his way through life.

"Well…..Fellas….I guess we have a new winner moving onto tomorrow night's weekly finals…Give a BIG HAND for Ryan "The Young Warrior" Atwood!"

The guys in the crowd erupted into applause for the one who had finally taken down the seemingly unfaltering bully Bill.

Present Day

As Ryan walked through the familiar door, he wondered if Bill was still around, antagonizing younger guys with the same shtick. Looking around the muggy room, he recognized a lot of familiar faces. Still the same old haggard, frustrated men needing to release their overflowing anger. However, there was a memorable face that he had not expected to see there.

"Atwood….what are you doin' back here? Thought Newport life had taken ya' for good!" Arturo questioned, motioning for Ryan to join him. Quickly giving him a pat on the back, he led them back to the attic that had been their second home. Ryan couldn't help but flash back to all the memories that had occurred in this small attic. As he sat down on the ancient, dusty lawn chair, he tried to formulate an answer to Arturo's question. But, he couldn't, because he didn't know himself what he was doing here. Arturo, sensing his hesitation, decided to help him along.

"It's your girl, man? That fine one you brought over a few years back?"

Inside Ryan's head flashed that beautiful smile of the girl he knew Arturo was referring to. The only girl for him. The girl that was halfway across the planet doing God knows what with God knows whom. Realizing that he had yet to answer Arturo, he lifted his head and nodded.

"She's in Greece…or probably…I don't know. We didn't end on the best terms."

"I see. So, you thought you might haunt the place you knew you could vent it out?"

Some things never changed; one was how much Arturo knew Ryan. While Ryan sat silently, trying to muster up the courage to go back in that ring, Arturo signed him up for what he knew would be the most exciting fight of the night. About thirty minutes later, after two brothers had almost beaten each other into unconsciousness, Ryan heard the words he'd been expecting.

"Well…well…well…if it ain't an old face. This will definantly be a treat for all you old timers out there who remember the first newbie to take down the legendary "Initiator". Tonight, looks like we got Ryan "The Young Warrior" back for some down home ass-beating. RYAN…..Get YOUR ASS UP HERE AND FIGHT!"