Disclaimer: Yeah, I wish.

Rooftops

Chapter 8

Upon waking up again in the early afternoon Ben had told Michael about the morning's events immediately. Vic wanted to talk to them and he wasn't going to go home in order to duck out of whatever punishment Vic was going to deal out.

"What'd he do when you and Brian got in trouble?" he asked carefully, as he smoked a cigarette on the roof of the building.

'Grounded us," Michael said, "It didn't really do much seeing as we shared a room and Brian found ways to cause trouble in the apartment. Vic goes out like clockwork so we snuck out all the time. Eventually I think he just gave up."

"So, what are you afraid of?"

Michael winced, reaching out for the cigarette and taking a drag.

"I don't like to disappoint him," he said, looking up as he handed it back to Ben. "It's kind of hard to explain."

"Michael, what happened to your da-" Ben's question was cut off as the door slammed open.

Vic stood there as their heads both whipped around to look at him. He didn't look quite as calm as he had that morning.

"Come downstairs," he said, "the three of us need to talk."

Ben stamped his cigarette out against the wall as Michael stood up and together the two of them followed the familiar path down to his apartment.

Vic had a glass in front of him, a bottle of Jack Daniel's on the counter. Michael and Ben both sat down in the chairs on the other side of the counter as Vic took a long drink.

"Uncle Vic?" Michael asked. He wasn't used to this quiet. It was one of the ways Vic was like his mother, when he was upset he yelled.

"This is not going to happen again," Vic said quietly, pouring himself another glass as he spoke. "If it does, Ben, I'm not going to expect to see you over here ever again. Michael, you will be grounded, and don't think you can pull the same stunts that you and Brian used to get away with. I will stay away from the clubs and watch you like a hawk until you go home. Even better, I could just send you home right then."

"Uncle Vic, nothing happened," Michael assured him.

Vic looked up, "But it has before. Maybe not much with Ben, but there have been others. Michael, I'm not stupid. And Ben, you're in college so I highly doubt it would be a first for you."

"Uncle Vic!" Michael's voice cracked. His uncle didn't normally speak so bluntly.

"I expect both of you to be safe," he said calmly, taking a sip of his drink. "I was in your position no so long ago. I know what will go on under my roof if I let it. That is not going to happen in my home, where I am responsible for my nephew's well being. Is that clear?"

He raised his eyes and stared at both of them.

"Yes Sir," Ben replied respectfully. He'd been quiet throughout Vic's entire outburst and now his voice was steady.

Michael just stared at his uncle for a moment before echoing Ben's response.

"Ben, I think you should head home now," Vic's voice finally broke the silence that had settled between the three of them a few moments later. "I don't expect to see you back here until Monday at the earliest. Michael just… go to your room."

He turned away from them, throwing back the rest of his drink.

The two of them exchanged looks as his back was turned, both to see how the other was handling this reaction.

Ben nodded. He could live with it. The punishment seemed more than appropriate. He leaned across the space between them and kissed Michael.

"I'll talk to you later," he said. "Call if you need anything." The look on his face was meant to assure Michael that everything was going to be fine.

He knew that he wasn't going to be around for the next few days but Michael might need someone to talk to, someone more than Vic or a long distance telephone call to Brian.

As the apartment door closed behind him Michael didn't move from his seat. He just sat there, staring at his uncle's back.

"Go to your room Michael," Vic said without turning around.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," Vic finally turned around. "Now go."

Michael didn't move. "All you've been doing since I got together with Ben is encouraging me. You even sent him back to bed with me this morning. He told me. And just now you didn't freak out and yell like Ma does. You were calm, so something has to be wrong. Something has to have happened to change your mood so much from this morning."

Vic reached for the bottle but Michael pulled it out of his reach. He stared at his nephew for a moment before sighing deeply.

"That trick," he said, staring at Michael, exhaustion evident in his face.

"Sam?" Michael supplied, staring right back.

Vic nodded, "He called me at work today."

"I thought you said good tricks were good because they didn't expect anything beyond the sex. Why did he even have your work number?"

"Michael, please." Vic paused before starting very slowly, "He just got tested and came back positive."

Michael froze, so surprised he almost dropped the bottle that he was holding to the floor. He didn't need to ask Vic what he meant. He already knew. He swallowed hard.

"We were safe most of the time," Vic said.

"Are you – Did you go get tested?" Michael asked. His words came out rushed and full of worry.

"I have an appointment on Monday," he said, "And I'll have to go and get tested again in six months or so. Sometimes it doesn't show up right away." He sighed, "Michael, anything that goes on between Ben and you, I want you to be careful. You two need to be safe. I don't ever want to see you in this position."

Michael nodded. A knot was growing in his throat but he managed to speak around it. "I promise."

Vic stepped around the counter and enveloped Michael in a tight hug as he let out a long breath. "Do me a favor and go to your room for a while. I need some time to think."

Michael nodded and headed across the room, still in a daze.

"And don't tell your mother."

-

Ben was hesitant as he unlocked the front door of his parents' house and let himself inside. He'd argued with himself about even coming back. The things he had said, he could hardly believe that he'd said them, that no one had come after him or threatened him. Even worse than that was knowing what he would have to come back to. There was going to be yelling. He'd thought about going to visit Brandon or one of his other friends, maybe even seeing if Joan needed him to pick up an extra shift at work, but his feet had taken him home.

The house was quiet and he thought that maybe luck was going to be on his side and they wouldn't be home. He started up the stairs, intent on hiding out in his room, changing and possibly leaving again.

Unfortunately he heard his mother talking on the phone in her office and she heard him as he went to push open his bedroom door.

"Benjamin, can I have a word with you?" she called. He knew it wasn't really a question.

Slowly he walked into the room, leaning on the back of one of the chairs as she finished up her conversation and hung up the phone.

"Sit down." Her tone was firm.

Inwardly he winced. His mother rarely yelled, but he did follow her instructions and sat down in front of her desk.

His mother crossed her arms over her chest, "I know that you and your father don't get along Ben, but what you said yesterday..."

"I know." He said when she trailed off.

"Well, say something Ben. Don't just sit there and expect that this is going to blow over."

"Mom, I'm sorry."

"That's not going to cut it this time," she said. "Look, I know that writing is important to you and that you think you know what you want, but Ben, your father is right. You are young. You could change your mind."

"You taught me not to half-ass things," he reminded her, "I've done my research. I've talked to some of my professors. I'm already looking into grad schools. I know I'm young but I really have no interest in law or politics. Why would I do something that makes me miserable for the rest of my life?"

"Your father is hardly miserable."

"But I would be." He said. "I know I shouldn't have said most of what I did to Dad, but Mom, some of the stuff he said, what he said about writing being a waste of time and about Michael. That isn't fair. He doesn't know anything about it."

His mother's face softened a little and she closed her eyes, taking a moment to herself to think things through.

"Your father has very strong opinions, Ben. He can't help that any more than you can. That's where you get it from after all. Now, you want to be treated like an adult and allowed to make your own decisions? Then I expect you to act like one. Go downstairs, now, and talk to your father. Stop screaming at him and talk."

"Just to be fair, he yelled first."

The look that his mother leveled at him made him mutter a quick apology.

"Where were you last night, I was worried."

"Michael's," he said, "Vic's. I crashed on the couch."

"Michael's uncle let you stay?"

"He didn't get back until we were both asleep." Ben confirmed. "As it is I got told to stay away for a few days. I think Vic's having a rough week."

"Mr. Grassi puts up with a lot from you boys, I'm sure." She said, "and for what it's worth I like Michael."

Ben bit his lip to keep from grinning, "Thanks Mom."

She said nothing, simply gave him a brief smile before turning back to her computer, undoubtedly going back to work.

-

Ben wrung his hands as he stood outside the door of his father's office. This was the conversation he was really dreading. Nothing was good enough for his father, who had valued Princeton over Yale, and academics over sports. Ben loved football, and was proud that it made up part of his scholarship. Yale had been his first choice and of course, he valued writing over politics or law. This was going to be difficult, mostly because of the words and accusations they had been throwing at one another all summer.

Finally he worked up the courage. He knocked at the door.

"Come in." His father's voice was curt on the other side.

Ben turned the handle and let himself into his father's study, or office, whatever he wanted to call it. Peter Bruckner was seated behind his desk with briefs and other legal documents Ben couldn't name piled high on the desk in front of him. He scarcely looked up as Ben closed the door behind him. He didn't sit down, just leaned back against the door.

Finally he spoke, "To be honest, I'm surprised to see you back so soon."

"I would have stayed away longer if it was possible," Ben admitted.

Peter Bruckner put down his pen and looked up. "Well, you're here now so I want to talk to you about a few things. First and foremost, if you ever speak to me that way again-"

"I know. Mom already threatened me. And I am sorry. Most of what I said you didn't deserve. The sarcasm and the yelling about school was childish. I'll admit that. It certainly wasn't right of me to curse at you like I did."

"You're right," his father said, "I'd better not hear you do it again."

"Yes, Sir," Ben nodded in agreement. After the two of them remained silent for a few moments he spoke again, "But Mom told me that I had to come down here and talk to you, so I'm going to get past my apologies and just lay everything out for you at once."

His father raised an eyebrow. "Alright Ben."

"I don't want you talking about Michael anymore, not when he can't defend himself."

"I can't help how I feel."

"But it would be different if he was a girl, wouldn't it?"

"I've told you time and time again, I've accepted that you're gay."

"That wasn't what I asked."

There was a long, drawn out silence in which the two of them stared at one another.

"Yes," he said finally, "it would."

Ben nodded. He hadn't expected that to sting quite as much as it did. He'd known for a while that his father wasn't completely supportive but there were so many worse things he could be doing with his life.

"Anything else?"

"School." His voice caught on the word and he cleared his throat. "I stand behind everything I said yesterday. If you want to stop paying for school that's fine. I made the president's list last semester. I'm the top student in the English department. I have a feeling they would offer me some more scholarships."

His father nodded briefly.

"Also, I am not going to change my major."

"Ben-"

"Stop. I'm not. It's a really simple concept to grasp. Dad, I like writing. I am good at it. You like politics and law, that's great, but they're never going to be something I could even think about doing. I have a plan. I'm sticking to it, whether you approve or not. So, if you're going to keep telling me what a mistake I'm making we might as well just not talk while I'm home."

His father stared.

Again the silence was painful, and he was afraid of what his father would say when he finally found his words. He could deal with not talking to his father. He opened the door and stepped outside, closing it again behind him.

He waited for a moment and didn't hear any movement from the other side of the door. That was it then; that's how things were going to be. He could accept that.

As he walked across the hardwood floor in the hall and the sound of his shoes echoed and the sound only seemed to be magnified. This had the possibility of being a really awkward summer. When he finally reached his bedroom he collapsed onto the bed, kicking off his shoes and burying his face in a pillow. The next two days were going to be miserable, especially considering he couldn't just escape as he had been.

He'd call work tomorrow; see about getting a shift or two.

For now he was exhausted. He missed school where he had time built into his schedule for a nap. Today it was just coming about because he had nothing else to do. He could go down to the clubs with the guys tonight and forget about all of this shit.

-

There were long silences in Vic's apartment. That was all the two of them could really muster, all they would be able to do while they waited for Monday to roll around, and for the results after that.

Vic ordered takeout or cooked. He went to work and came back, but Michael couldn't go anywhere. Vic worked early again on Saturday and came back upstairs with mail, handing Michael a small yellow package.

"A gift from your friend down in the Pitts."

Michael frowned as he tore open the package, but smiled as he found what Brian had sent him. Comics, four of them, all new issues he'd yet to read.

"I'm going to order pizza for dinner in a few hours. Do you want anything now?"

"No," Michael replied, heading for his room. He closed his door happy to cut off contact. He was struck with fear every time he looked at Vic. His uncle was his hero, but this was… potentially life threatening, and just scared the shit out of him.

He opened up the comic books to just forget.

X-men. Batman. Superman. He saved Captain Astro for last. It was kind of sad, he realized that, a seventeen year old spending an afternoon reading comic books. He knew how they went by now. They'd save the world only to learn a lesson in the process. It was comforting and a constant unlike almost anything else in his life.

He was worried about his mother, about Vic, permanently about Brian. Now he was worried about Ben too. He had been upset when he'd shown up on Thursday, and he could see that he hadn't wanted to go home when Vic had kicked him out. He had almost called but was afraid of his parents' reaction toward him. Ben had only started having problems with them this summer and despite the fact that Ben promised his mother liked Michael he was afraid Ben's dad would answer the phone.

This week Captain Astro saved a friend of Galaxy Lad's, a young man whose failure had made him a source of ridicule. He'd gone and tried to show off, becoming involved with the wrong people and involving himself in a villainous plot.

As he set the comic aside he collapsed back onto the bed. He wished real life was like that, that he could know everything was going to turn out all right. There was so much that could go wrong right now; he didn't even want to think about it.

Placing the comics on a table he caught sight of the packet of paper sitting there. He was afraid of reading it, Ben's writing, afraid that he wouldn't like it, that it would be too far over his head in terms of language. He pulled it to the bed in front of him and looked down at the first page. Ben's name was listed in the left hand corner and under it was a title that meant nothing to him. He began to read.

It took one hundred and three days for me to come out to my parents after I decided that I would need to do so. Fear crawled up and down my spine and over every inch of my flesh twenty-four hours a day. It wasn't that I had ever seen either of them act particularly homophobic, but I think that it was something more innate than that.

I think that a fear builds up inside of everyone when they discover that they aren't quite like everyone else. Being different has never been smiled upon. Even those who led to change were only accepted after success became part of the plan. The fear built, along with a suspicion that I didn't really know the people I love the most. I was afraid that my father, who I had respected more than anyone else for so much of my life, would be disappointed in me. I also feared upsetting my mother's fantasy of a brood of grandchildren.

I started by telling a friend, a guy I had been close to since elementary school. He'd taken it well, an I-thought-so and a shrug of his shoulders. It was over just like that, with no great fanfare. The next weekend, as always, I was on the park playing basketball with him and everyone else. So I told another friend. And another. And another. It became easier every time.

And then I told someone who disapproved. I realized it almost immediately, when he stopped coming to sit with us at lunch, when he stopped joining the pickup games of basketball and football. It stung. I really did get upset over it, especially when I heard him tell coach that he 'wasn't going to play with no queer come the fall.'

My parents noticed. They asked what was wrong. Still stinging from the pain of rejection I was so afraid to tell them, but I bit my tongue and forced myself to sit down with them one night. 'I'm gay.' The words fell out of my mouth so easily that I can hardly believe that it was me saying them.

Michael continued to read; captivated by the way Ben strung the words along on the page. He was almost afraid to tear his eyes away.

The words seemed so personal that Michael could barely imagine sharing these words with anyone. Granted his own mother had told him that he was gay and Brian's response had simply been 'why the hell did you think I was friends with you,' but it all just seemed too close.

He swore that he could hear Ben's voice saying these words, which made him miss him all the more. Now he could see why Ben had been so wary about having him read it. He could also see that Ben was amazingly talented.

He continued on, so engrossed in the story that when Vic was suddenly standing in front of him he literally jumped.

Amused, Vic raised an eyebrow, "Pizza's here."

"Okay," Michael nodded, marking his place with one of the comics that Brian had sent him. There was no way that he would finish it all before he saw Ben the next day but it was definitely a way to pass the time and avoid awkward conversations with Vic.

-

Ben was happier than usual when he got out of work on Monday afternoon, to finally be able to see Michael again. He could hardly imagine what it would be like to go for months without seeing him. He let himself into the building and began heading up the stairs, running headlong into Brandon as he rounded a corner.

Normally he would have just given a quick hello but Brandon was as white as a ghost and barely seemed to see him.

"Bran?" he reached out a hand to stop his friend, "You okay?"

He started at the sound of Ben's voice but covered quickly, in a voice that shook, "H-hey Benny."

"Brandon, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He shook his head.

Ben tightened his hold on his friend's arm as Brandon went to move past him.

"We've been friends for a long time. You can't expect me to believe that."

Brandon stared at him, "Sam just tested positive."

Ben's stomach clenched. HIV was a frightening disease but it had never struck nearly this close to his part of the community before. And to have it possibly happen to Brandon? He wrapped his arms around his friend to have him hug back.

"You're always safe, though," he said. Brandon had given him countless lectures.

"Almost always."

Ben winced. He was reminded of the lecture Vic had given him and Michael the week before. That's when the pieces fit together. Sam had slept with Vic. And Vic knew.

His stomach turned again. Had Vic told Michael? Had he gotten tested? Were there results?

"That doesn't mean it's definite. Go down to the clinic." His voice sounded a lot steadier than he felt.

Brandon nodded, "I will soon."

"Why not today?"

"I've got some stuff at work."

Ben stared. Since when did work trump Brandon's health, or his sex life for that matter.

"Brandon…"

"Ben, I'm going to be late for work. I'll talk to you later in the week. Make sure to say hi to Michael for me." With that he was gone, hurrying down the stairs, leaving Ben alone feeling like a weight was pressing down heavily on his chest.

Michael was engrossed in his reading when there was a knock at the door. The narrative and his comics went back to their place on his desk before he hurried across the apartment. When he opened the door Ben stepped in, hugging him tightly.

Michael was a bit surprised but hugged him back. "What's up?"

Ben shook his head as they parted, as though shaking himself out of a daze, "Missed you, that's all."

Michael could tell that more than that was going on but wasn't sure what to say. He'd promised Vic that he wasn't going to say anything to Ben, although it would make their discussion on Friday so much clearer. When Ben leaned down to kiss him he couldn't help but relax.

"Long weekend?" Ben asked.

Michael nodded.

"For me too." He agreed, "How's Vic?"

Michael froze. Ben didn't tend to ask questions like that. Did he know something?

"He's still a little pissed at us, but I think he'll be happy you're here so I stop moping around the apartment."

Ben let a grin tug at the corners of his mouth. Despite the lump sitting in the bottom of his stomach he was happy to see Michael.

"I have to tell you something," he said, nodding in the direction of Michael's room.

"Okay." Even though Vic wasn't home he walked into his room, Ben following, and sat down on the bed.

Ben leaned back against the window frame. He looked around only to notice that his narrative was lying open on the desk. He almost wanted to ask Michael what he thought but the news he had was more pressing.

"Sam Patterson," he said, "the trick that Vic's been seeing lately, he ummm… he's been fooling around with Brandon for a few months too. I kind of think he might have said something to Vic last week because he called Brandon this morning."

"Ben." Michael knew what was coming.

"Sam tested positive for HIV."

"I know."

Ben was stunned. "You know?"

Michael nodded slowly, "Vic told me after you left. He umm… he's getting tested today. He didn't want me to say anything about it, but since you already know I guess I can't really do much harm."

"Michael, I'm so sorry."

Michael shook his head, "I don't know what to say to him, even if he does end up being negative, and I can't talk to Brian about it because he'll tell my mom and she's already got enough on her plate for the moment."

Ben stared at his shoes as an uncomfortable silence fell over them.

"How's Brandon?"

Ben looked up into Michael's face. His eyes were dark with concern.

"He's freaked," Ben sighed, "Doesn't want to go and get tested. I don't think I can say that I blame him, but at the same time I really want to know that he doesn't have it. It's selfish but I…"

Michael nodded in understanding.

"I'm scared," Michael said after a few moments.

Ben took a few shallow breaths and moved over to sit next to Michael on the bed. "Me too."

Michael relaxed against him and they sat there together thinking about their own mortality as time passed.

A/N: Yeah, so I'm bad at posting chapters here. I actually haven't started writing the next chapter yet, but I have some idea of where it is going. My goal is to get two more chapters up by finals. So, hopefully I'll get some writing done this weekend and next weekend. Hope you're all enjoying. And Cards, I'm sure you're reading this, leave a review.

Thanks again,

-Megan