YAY! I'm really pumped for this chapter, as I am a big S/K, S/S fan. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter XVII: Father Knows Best?
Sandy Cohen was beginning to feel a little left out. After throwing himself into the public defender position that he had admittedly missed very much, Sandy had recently found himself an outsider at home. Kirsten had been acting very downtrodden and frequently quiet lately, while Seth's sure-to-be excitement about going to Rhode Island had been mysteriously replaced with a somber, resolute decision to stay in California. And Ryan…well, Sandy admitted that there had often been times where Ryan's emotional state had been well hidden from him and everyone else. But, this time…this time he felt that Ryan could be in real trouble.
Adjusting his favorite black and silver trimmed tie, Sandy brushed off the little specs of lint that adorned his old suit that had been stuffed into the back of his closet for a long while now. Kirsten had promised him that they would be having a special dinner tonight; after all, they really hadn't been able to spend as much quality time as they had wanted to lately, with getting the boys ready for college and their endless hours working. Sandy moved across the bedroom to the mirror, silently chastising his father's genetics for cursing him with seemingly untamable eyebrows. Licking his fingers haphazardly, Sandy brushed his eyebrow down in hopes that the straw hairs would obey his hands' instructions. Of course, they didn't, and he finally gave up trying. Taking one last glance over his appearance, Sandy nodded to himself in semi-approval.
As he walked down the stairs, a nagging question remained in his mind. When he had asked her a few days ago if she had seen Ryan recently, she shrugged him off, saying something about him needing to have time to think. That wasn't like Kirsten to be the one to shrug things off. He got the distinct impression that she knew something that she was withholding from him.
"Whoa…pops…got a hot date tonight?" Seth remarked from the kitchen, where he was hoping to get in another pot of coffee for his planned all-nighter of anime movies. They seemed to be the only things that could keep his mind off of Summer. And, with Ryan in Greece, Seth had no one to talk to about his problems, so he was left flying solo until his brother returned.
Sandy rounded the corner, making his way into the kitchen. Noticing that his quirky son had still yet to change out of his pajamas, he felt compelled to ask the question that he had been waiting for the perfect timing for.
"First of all, yes..I do have a hot date tonight. That I want to make sure I'm on time for. But," he continued, looking at his offspring in the eyes, "first, I think we may need to have a talk. About your decision to stay in California."
Seth sighed out loud, not wanting to reassure another person that this was what he really wanted to do. Because, he wasn't quite sure that it was. And, he knew his father saw right through this. Packing the filter full of the ground beans, Seth tugged at his "No, I love you more" t-shirt.
"Listen, dad, I've told you before…I just realized that I would miss California too much, so I decided to stay here."
He cocked his eyebrow up, trying to judge whether or not his dad believed him. As he flipped the switch and the smell of fresh coffee emanated throughout the Cohen kitchen, he moved across the room to sit at the breakfast table. Sandy followed him.
"Come on, Seth. You remember that it is part of my job as a lawyer to sniff out when someone's lying right? Now…here's what I do know. I found a towel the other day in Ryan's room. It was stained with blood…and, not just your average cuts or scrapes type of blood. But, like the blood from a fight. And, then, a few days later…you suddenly decide to forego everything you have dreamed about since you were 4 years old…getting out of Newport and away from all the evil Newpsie horror that your mother and I have "subjected" you to for your whole life. It just seems a little fishy to me. And, as much as I would like to have this conversation with Ryan as well…he seems to be MIA for the last few days. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that either, would you?"
The timing of the coffee pot could not have been more perfect for Seth to escape his father's intuitive line of questioning. Grabbing for his cup, Seth quietly weighed his options, trying to decide which tactic he should use to get this conversation over with in the quickest, less painful way. He could always get defensive and try to deflect the questioning back on his father, but Sandy Cohen was the master at staying the course when it came to interrogation. Or, he could use flattery to try and butter him up and make him feel guilty for even asking the hard questions to a son that was being so nice to him. Then, there was the "playing dumb" idea that he was pretty sure wouldn't work, since his dad already knew too much. So, while he scanned the cabinets for more creamer, he decided he would use option #4: the semi-modified truth.
"Well, dad…while I cannot say anything about Ryan's current situation…brotherly code and all…I can tell you that there is a plan in place to get this whole thing resolved."
Sandy glanced at his son, his curiosity peaked by his son's admittance of withholding something from him. Having been a brother himself, he did understand the oath of secrecy that was shared between young men. But, now that he was the parent, was he just supposed to take his son's word for it? He did need to know a few things though…a few questions that could not wait for the resolution to come. Glancing at his watch, Sandy silently cursed himself when he realized he was probably going to be late to meet Kirsten. He had made the reservation at the Arches for 8:00, and as of now, he only had 15 minutes to get there. But, he was getting somewhere with the son who had recently been nothing but morose, so he had to get these answers while the time was right.
Leaning into his son as if people trying to listen in surrounded them, he asked, "I just need to know 2 things. First, what is the real reason that you aren't going to RISD? I just…can't believe that you would give that up so quickly without their being some big reason."
There it was again…the question that everyone seemed to be haunting him with. Seth took a deep breath in, not wanting to explain everything he had just hashed out with Anna a few nights earlier. But, he knew his dad had the right to know. After all, he was the one paying for his college, wasn't he?
"Listen, dad…like I said before, it is really complicated right now. Let's just say…that I need to stay with Ryan…make sure he's alright. I can't go into too much details, but things aren't so good right now for him. Maybe you should talk to…"
Seth then realized what he was saying and that his father probably didn't know about Ryan's cross-continent journey. He mentally kicked himself in the head for letting all these people squirm details out of him. He needed to get out of the house before he let any more secrets loose.
"Seth..you were saying something, and then you trailed off. I think you were suggesting that I go talk to Ryan. Which brings me to my second question…where is he?"
Panicking, Seth did the only reasonable thing that came to his mind at that moment. He bolted upright, slugged down the last of his coffee and promptly left the table.
"Not sure dad…try his cell…gotta run! The comic book store is opening early tomorrow…wanna make sure I have adequate slumber!"
As he clumsily shuffled to get out of the house, he spouted out as little information as he could to placate his father for now. However, he did notice on the way out that Sandy Cohen looked anything but appeased. Seeing his father brushing his suit off in disappointment only fueled Seth's guilt. 'But,' he reminded himself again, 'Ryan would never forgive me.'
After hearing the slamming of the front door, Sandy sighed in confusion. Usually, he could always count on Seth to be the first one to crack when there was a secret involved. But, this time he seemed uncharacteristically resolute. Just at that one moment when he had thought he might crack, something seemed to pull him back into the consequences that he had never really seemed to have regard for in past similar situations. Obviously, he was protecting Ryan. But, from what? Could there really be something at Berkeley that Ryan needed protection from? And, if so, was he really going to find that protection in Seth?
Sandy was reverted back to reality by the ringing of his cell phone. He knew by the ring tone that it was his probably impatient and upset wife on the other end. With everything that had (or more accurately hadn't) occurred between them lately, he knew the last thing he wanted was for their first night out alone to start with a fight.
"Hey honey…I know, I know. I'm just leaving the house now. I'm really sorry…it's not that Kirsten…I just…I have a bad feeling…like the boys aren't telling us that something's wrong. I realize that dear, but I can't just not wonder what's going on. Anyways, I'm leaving now…we'll talk when I get there. I love you too."
Hanging up the phone feeling very confused, Sandy realized that this was one of the first times since Ryan had come to stay with them when he seemed more worried about his whereabouts than Kirsten did. That realization felt very unnatural and curious. He knew these questions would have to be brought up tonight if he was to get any closer to finding out the truth. Chiding himself for doubting his wife although in his mind he knew she had some pieces of information that he didn't, Sandy left the house quickly.
As he drove through the surprisingly misty California night, Sandy couldn't help but wonder what sort of trouble was in store next for his family. The sounds of the faint music playing on the radio station only mildly served to drown out the concerned voices that were permeating through his head. Something was wrong with Ryan…something that both his son and his wife were trying to protect him from finding out about. Sandy pondered, wondering if he had seemed too irritable or focused lately to emit the aura of "I can't be bothered" that he himself used to hate so much when he saw it on the likes of those such as Caleb Nichol.
Pulling up to the front doorway of the Arches, Sandy silently gave his key to the valet while he gave himself one last check before entering through the gold arched doorways. This place had always seemed so comfortable and safe when he had taken Kirsten here over the years; but today, he felt the looming presence of dread. Something within him knew that this was not going to be like every other pleasant, if somewhat mundane dinner dates that he had shared with his wife here.
Spotting her across the room, Sandy's breath hitched in his throat as realized again just how beautiful she was and how much he was still in love with her. He could see a small tear that had escaped her beautiful eye while she tried in vain to quickly wipe it away before anyone noticed. He hoped that he had not been the reason for that tear. As he approached her, he saw her looks of nervousness fade somewhat as she sensed his presence.
"Hey honey," he greeted her softly, gently kissing the top of her head as he slid into the seat next to her.
She politely greeted him back as he took a seat next to her at the table. She had already ordered him a drink, a non-alcoholic beer that he had switched to since her not-so-forgotten stint in rehab. Smoothing her suit down, she pursed her lips, knowing that this conversation was going to be far from pleasant. She had hated lying to him about not knowing where Ryan had been for the last few days, but she was scared that he would not understand her motives. And, with the decision that she had already decided needed to be brought up tonight, she didn't think he would be in the right frame of mind to listen if he was too pre-occupied on Ryan.
"So, I take it that it wasn't a pleasant day at the office by your worried expression? What, Julie set another bored housewife up with an underage hooker?"
Even though the mood was still sobering, Kirsten couldn't help but allow a chuckle to escape her suppressed lips.
"Sandy…come on, you know that isn't funny. We almost got shut down for that," she reminded, remembering Julie's not too distant mistakes that had almost cost them their company.
"I know, honey, I'm just trying to lighten what I can tell will be a serious conversation. I'm sorry."
Kirsten acknowledged her husband's correct assumptions with a nod of her head. As they quickly ordered what had become their "usual" orders, they stole glances at each other every so often. Some glances were curiosity-ridden while others were loving and thoughtful. After the waiter had left them, Kirsten drew in a deep breath and tried to figure out where to begin.
"So, look, Sandy, I know that things have been pretty strained between us lately. And, I want to apologize for acting strangely. I know I have been. But, it's just…that, with Seth and Ryan leaving in another couple of months, I've started the already-daunting process of letting them go. And, it's been hard…harder than I would've thought it would…"
With this, the pain and anguish that Kirsten had been so desperately trying to hide over the past few weeks came to the surface. Sandy instinctively arose from his chair to comfort his saddened wife, pulling her into him gently as she cried silent tears.
"Honey..honey, I know this is all hitting you hard. Believe me when I tell you that it's hard for me, too. But, when times like these arise, we need to hold on to each other."
"I know..I know Sandy, and that's what I'm trying to say," she clarified, wiping her now tear-stained face with her napkin. She sent an imploring look to the man that she had come to depend upon even though she had once promised herself that she would never depend on anyone but herself. Knowing internally that there was no real way to say this except to just put it out there, she inhaled sharply and began. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately…and, I really want to try to have another baby."
The silence lingered for a few moments, clouding the air with a discomfort that both of the pair could sense. Sandy's ever-bushy eyebrows furrowed in surprise, showing to her that he was not expecting that to be what came out of her mouth. Another baby? Was that really what had been plaguing his love's mind for the last few weeks? Seeing the inquisitiveness protruding from her eyes, he knew he had to say something…something that would both assure his wife of where he stood and convey his hesitation at this suggestion.
"Sandy…please, say something. Look, I know I've been kinda distant lately. It's just…well, with Seth and Ryan leaving soon…I've just…I just don't want to feel useless again."
Sandy's heart lurched at her words. How could she, the woman who consistently tackled the always-intimidating Caleb Nichol, think she was useless? He understood that empty-nest syndrome was bound to make a mother long for her children to be young again, but there were so many things that he now saw as possible for them to share once they had the house all to themselves again. Was he being selfish to think that he could have her all to himself?
"And, before you go trying to assure me that we will find things to do without the boys around…it's not that. Really, it isn't. I just…I really never realized how much I wanted another baby. And, the other day, when Ryan came to me and asked me to fund a cross-continent journey of the heart, I found my usual quick-to-judge self actually giving in to him. And, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but it really got me to thinking about how I was going to miss that…miss being someone my kids turn to in time of need."
So, that's where Ryan had gone. Even though Sandy was disappointed in her for keeping that from him for so long, he couldn't help but sympathize with his wife's feelings. A small smile fell on his lips as he tenderly reached for her hands across the table. He soothingly caressed her fingers, paying careful attention to the finger that held her wedding ring. The waiter quietly delivered their meals and tipped off their drinks. Finally, Sandy had figured out what he wanted to say, so he infiltrated the hopeful silence that was lingering between them.
"Listen, honey…I know that things may have seemed strained lately. And, I really feel horrible about being so unavailable. I'm sure it was one of the many things that you didn't miss when I decided to leave the public defense office last time."
Kirsten let out a small chuckle, nodding slightly as she took her first bite of the Turkey Scallopini in front of her. She hadn't had much of an appetite recently, as her mind had been preternaturally occupied. But, hopefully, after this much-needed conversation with her husband, she could finally dislodge the weight that had recently taken residence on her shoulders.
"But, I want you to know that I am fully committed to helping you…us get through this time of change when the boys leave. And…if you really want to do this…to try and have another baby…"
Kirsten subconsciously held her breath for the next part, wishing with all her might that he would agree to her request. Her eyes were solely focused on his; her dinner all but forgotten.
"then, how can I say no to such a beautiful, caring woman?" As he saw his wife breathe a heaping sigh of relief and smile as she leaned across the table to kiss him passionately, he couldn't help but notice how many patrons of the restaurant were sneaking not-so-subtle glances in their direction. One would think he had just proposed or something. " I tell you what…how about we get this dinner to go and go home and get to work on some baby-making?"
Kirsten couldn't help but let out a small giggle at her husband's forwardness. Nodding, she silently agreed to forego the date and get home to some much-needed alone time.
Meanwhile, Morimoto was not doing enough to quench Seth's constant thoughts of her. There was something about Japanese storytelling that only seemed to heighten his lately perpetual somber mood. Man, right about now would be when he would slovenly stumble out to the pool house seeking Ryan's words, or lack thereof, for comfort. But, he couldn't even have that either. So, with no one to hold him back, Seth made a decision. He had to hear her voice…even if all she did was scream at him. He quickly paused the DVD player and leaped towards his cell phone.
"Oh God…please don't pick up…just the voicemail…just the voicemail..." he mumbled to himself as he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. Then, just as he felt his wishes had been granted, the voice came through on the other line.
"Cohen? Is that you?"
She sounded so scared and forlorn that he almost couldn't take it. It made him feel weighted with guilt to know that he had been the cause of her pain. Still fiddling with his hem, Seth quickly tried to formulate what he wanted to say to her. He hadn't really thought this far ahead.
"Cohen…hello? HELLO?"
There she was…he knew that feisty, rage blackout-prone girl was still in there. Seth knew that he had better say something soon, or she might hang up on him. Sighing internally, he took his shot.
"Summer…" he uttered softly, still needing a few seconds to formulate what he was actually going to say. He knew that after this confirmation that there was no going back. He was going to have to tell her…tell her everything. And, as much as he knew Ryan wouldn't approve, Ryan had to understand how much it was killing him to lie to her, right? After all, he had gone after Marissa….why couldn't Seth do the same?
"Oh, Cohen….it's so good to hear your voice."
Seth could hear her voice struggling not to break down, and it tore his heart into pieces. He had caused this pain…no one else…him. Usually, Summer would hide her sadness under her rage, mostly as a defense mechanism. But, tonight, she was not even trying to hide…maybe Anna was right. Maybe this had really changed her.
"Listen, Summer…I've fought with myself a lot over this…over whether or not to tell you what was going on or not. And, believe me, if there weren't these obligations holding me here, I would be with you in a minute. I do still love you. But, there are things that are going on..."
"With Chino?" she asked, although she already knew the answer.
"Yes…with Ryan. But, I just can't leave him at Berkeley alone. It's not safe. I hope you can understand that."
Not safe? What could he possibly mean by that? Who would want to hurt Ryan? Summer thought for a moment…maybe Trey, but last she knew he had hitched a ride to Vegas, maybe it was Oliver, but she thought that since Marissa was overseas that even if he had managed to escape that mental institution he was in, he wouldn't come looking for Ryan. That only left one person in her mind: Volchek.
"Is it Volchek?"
By the stunned silence that inhabited the other end of the phone Summer knew she was right.
"Look, Cohen, I know that you're trying to be a noble and caring brother…I do…but, if Volchek really is out to hurt Ryan, what do you really think you're going to accomplish? I don't mean to sound mean…but, come on."
Seth stifled a smile. Even though he could have taken offense to her words, he knew that she was right. If Volchek was really out to hurt Ryan, which he whole-heartedly believed that he was, what good was he really going to do? Could he really stop Volchek? There was that one time when he and Ryan had gone to rescue the Risky Business egg, and he had come through that time. But, did that one time really outweigh all the times that his inability to be a wingman had proven itself?
"Look, I know you're right. And, believe, it's not anything that I haven't said to myself multiple times. But…I mean, do you really think that I would want to be away from you if I had any choice in the matter? I just…I just…can't not do ANYTHING."
Summer stayed silent. They were finally talking the way that they had needed to for so long. But, now that she was getting the answers that had plagued her sleepless nights for so long, was she really going to be able to change his mind? Ryan must really need him. But, what for? Why was Volchek so angry with….then it dawned on her. MARISSA! Maybe there was something Marissa could do to get this all settled. She hated thinking that she would have to disturb her best friend's much-needed getaway, but this was serious business. Summer couldn't bear another day without him.
"Summer?" Seth posited, hoping that she was still on the line.
"Yeah, I was just thinking. Look, I have an idea. I have to go for now, but when you talk to Ryan, tell him that everything will be taken care of soon enough. I love you, Cohen….and even though it's against my better judgement…I understand and forgive you for all of this. You just wanted to help the brother that's watched out for you so many times….I get it. Gotta go!"
Before Seth could interject his return at her affection, she had hung up. Although he was worried about the repercussions that telling her would inevitably cause, he was so happy that she had forgiven him and that they were now on their way back to being happy, he didn't care at that moment. He also didn't care that his parents had just arrived back home and were haphazardly taking off their clothes on their way upstairs. He just smiled and fell blissfully asleep for the first time in weeks.