MOMENTS
nyao...
He didn't have time to dwell on it. Never had time to dwell on it. Not until he was safely out of battle and everything was fine.
Only then did he allow suppressed thoughts to cloud his brain with nonsense. He recalled birdcages, just barely. And he recalled crowns, and daggers, and Alice in wonderland. A childish voice happily called a name.
"Hichigo. You can be my Hichigo."
That was him. A long time ago. That was him. In a blue dress, sitting on the lap of a younger verison of his tormentor. He remembered now. That dream. Calling to Hichigo so many times, but getting no answer.
He'd taken medication, just because he'd told his father there used to be a thing in his head, and he was worried it was sick. He'd gone through a childhood of insanity, all because he missed this deranged little creature that was causing him all this pain.
And for what?! Never mind the fact that he and Hichigo had been friends...good friends...very good friends... he'd been in love with Hichigo god dammit! it was still irritating. But that's not what annoyed him.
He reached far into his soul, calling Hichigo's attention to him. "How many times have I called, and you didn't answer?" he asked coldly.
Hichigo laughed mirthlessly in return. "I saved you. I was locked up because of what I did. You would have stayed asleep until you died, if I hadn't."
"I..but I... I was happy, damn you! I liked it! Having Hatsuna and you! And...you ruined!" he bit his lip, trying to stop angry tears. No one had ever seen him cry. Not since he was young. No one would see him cry.
Hichigo smirked. "Oh but I have seen you cry, sweet Alice." he wiped he cheek with his thumb, as if it was wet with tears. "I've seen you curl up, and shrivel inside your soul, when ever you wish for something more. I've seen your tears run red and your faces caked with makeup to hide the lost look in your eyes." he leaned up a little, kissing him on the forehead, bring back old memories. "I've seen you. Because you'd always cry in my arms."
"SHUT UP! Now just crawl off and die in a ditch like a dog! You should have left me alone, you shouldn't have reminded me. In fact, you should have let me dream, then maybe you would have me. But you went and killed it!" he came back to the real world.
"Cruel little Alice King...what about my feelings? Should I have let you die? When I could have loved you here as well?"
"You don't have any feelings." he shot back.
There was a flame burning behind his eyes. All those times he'd kissed Hichigo. All the touches that were so pure. Just for him. Only Hichigo could touch him like that. Though when he grew older he claimed to be a prostitute... no. only Hichigo would love him the way he wanted.
He hated it, but it was true. He really did cry in hichigo's arms. Always because Hichigo understood. It was because of Hichigo that he cried, and they both knew it.
He pushed anger back into his heart. Anger and nostalgia, and another bubbling feeling that made his throat tickle and his mind clench. A sweet bubbly feeling that made the deepest, coldest parts of him warm.
"So blind King...can't even realize the truth."
Truth only came in moments.
OWARI
bleh. I'm almost finished the cover for my hichi-chan FST! Yay! Reveiw please!