Thanks for the reviews. Hopefully this chapter will shed some light on (most of) Kate's backstory and behaviour. My aim is to bridge the gap between the crash and Jack's testimony (with particular emphasis on his relationship with Kate), so yes, they will get rescued eventually, but since the island isn't a secret, the flashforwards may be a little different... ;)
Chapter 4.
"Tomorrow you're going to show me how to set a trap like the one you used to catch this, and then you're going to stay on the beach," Sayid told Kate later that night as they roasted the rabbit over the campfire.
She shot him a disgruntled look, but seemed to know better than to challenge him twice in one day. Only Hurley seemed impressed by the outcome of her solo expedition into the jungle. Sayid was furious, and so was Jack.
There was no way for him to tell what Sawyer was thinking because whatever it was, he was keeping it close to his chest, but Kate's success seemed to have taken him down a few pegs, because he hadn't made a wise crack since her return.
"I can show you where I found a stream too," she agreed, grinning when her words caught Sayid off guard and he just eyed her with surprise.
She didn't appear at all remorseful about lying to Jack, or putting herself and her baby in danger. If anything, she seemed smug that she'd managed to get the last word in, not once, but twice with this remark.
Jack had thought her stubbornness was cute, but while he couldn't explain why the behaviour of a woman he'd know for little more than a day was having such a profound effect on him, he felt sick to his stomach when she offered one the skewers to him, pushing it away without a word.
She was safe now, but he couldn't stop thinking about all ways it could have gone wrong. He should have guessed what she was up to when she gave in so easily; he should have known better than to let her out of his sight. He would have to be more watchful from now on, at least until help arrived.
"You know, you don't always have to be such a gentleman, Jack," she teased him, trying to tempt him, "You need to eat," her smile fading when she saw that it wasn't politeness that was preventing him from accepting it.
"You're angry," she said, lowering her arm to her side. She opened her mouth then closed it again without speaking, her eyes narrowing in hurt and bewilderment.
"You're damn right I'm angry, Kate," he told her when she didn't seem to understand what she'd done to deserve his disapproval.
She tossed the skewer back on top of the others, her own temper flaring as she folded her arms. "Do you really wanna do this in front of them?" she hissed, gesturing to where Sayid was supervising the division of the food, and Jack saw that Sawyer's ears had perked up, and he was staring straight at them, probably preparing some quip about dinner and a show.
He didn't, but he wasn't prepared to let it go yet, so refusing her arm, he used his makeshift crutch to push himself to his feet, following her to a spot further along the beach where he could sit down.
He could see that Sawyer was disappointed, but they didn't need an audience for what he intended to say. It would only embarrass her and that wasn't what he wanted.
"What is your problem with me?" she demanded as soon as they were out of earshot. "I was only trying to help."
"Were you, Kate?" he insisted when he she failed to convince him that it wasn't about winning; about proving that she didn't need any of them. "Do you have any idea how many things could've happened to you out there? To the baby?"
He softened when she turned to stare into the darkness, and he saw that in spite of the front she'd put up earlier, she was ashamed. "I just don't see why you have to do everything yourself – why you can't just let someone else take care of it," he told her. "Take care of you."
He moved to put a hand on her arm, but she jerked it away, her eyes hard when she lifted them to meet his. "What makes you think this has anything to do with you?" she retorted, covering her belly with both of her hands, as if to protect it from him. "You don't know me – you don't know anything about me."
He wasn't prepared for the venom in her tone, but he couldn't deny the truth of her words. He didn't know her, but in some strange way he felt like he did. He didn't want to care this much about her – to break into a cold sweat when he thought about having to deliver her baby on the island – but he couldn't seem to turn it off.
"You're right, Kate, this has nothing to do with me," he agreed, trying not to let his hurt at being pushed away like this show, "but what about the baby's father? Would he be happy to see you taking so many risks?"
She tried to not to show any outward sign of emotion, but he could tell by the flicker of pain in her expression that he'd gotten through to her on some level. "I told you – he's not a part of our lives," she reminded him, her voice clipped, defensive, willing him not to go there again.
"But he was once," he pointed out, unable to resist delving a little deeper into the issue. Kate's life before he met her none of his business, but he couldn't help wondering why she was so determined to avoid talking about it. It was almost as if she wanted to pretend that the baby had no father. "You must have meant something to him then."
"No, I didn't," she snapped when he succeeded in striking a nerve, and he wasn't sure which one of them she was trying harder to convince: him or herself. "It wasn't like that, okay? He was just a guy I met in a bar." Tears sprang to her eyes as she waved a hand at her belly. "This wasn't supposed to happen to me."
The reflexive way she glossed over the relationship made Jack think that she was lying again to keep him from finding out what she was really ashamed of; whatever it was that she was trying so hard to hide. She was too suspicious and reserved with her feelings to let anyone get that close to her in one night. There had to be more to the story, but he could see that that was all he was going to get out of her for now.
"Kate, do you even want that baby?" he asked her, deciding to try a different tactic. Whoever the father was, some part of her still loved him, which meant that she must love their child too. "Because if you don't slow down, you're going to lose it."
"I'm going to lose him anyway," she told him, bringing her hand up to her face as she started to cry, a hollow, desperate kind of sound that made him want to wrap her in his arms and hold her until she stopped.
But she'd made the boundaries clear. "Why Kate?" he pressed, frustrated that she wouldn't let him do anything. She was being so cryptic; so evasive. "What is it that you're so afraid of?"
She shook her head. "It doesn't matter," she choked out, scrubbing her face with her palm. "We should get back."
He caught her wrist when she tried to walk away from him, knowing that this might be his last chance to get an answer. With his leg, he wouldn't be able to catch her before she reached the safety of the others.
"Yes, it does," he argued, unsure why it was so important to him. He should be able to let it go. "Tell me, please. Let me help you."
Her eyes locked with his, and her tortured look told him that she was waging a silent battle with herself about whether or not she could trust him. "I'm not who you think I am, Jack," she confessed after a long moment. "If I tell you what happened – why I was on the plane – can you honestly tell me you won't hate me? That you won't look at me differently?"
The intensity in her gaze scared him so that he couldn't – not when he had no idea what she was going to say – but he could see that she was just as afraid of being rejected.
"You were wrong before – I do know something about you," he told her.
"What's that?" she asked, her expression tentative as if unsure how to take this.
"I know you're not a bad person," he assured her with a smile. "You wouldn't have saved me if you were."
It wasn't the promise he knew she was hoping for, but she nodded, grateful to him for not condemning her before he'd had the chance to hear her out.
"I lied to you, Jack. I lied to everyone," she began, and his wariness increased as he waited for her to drop her bombshell. "I wasn't alone on the plane – not like I've been pretending."
It wasn't anywhere near as bad as what he was imagining. Jack felt himself begin to relax, almost laughing in his relief that it wasn't anything more serious, but before he could ask her if this was all, she rushed on, "I was with a US Marshal."
Whatever he was expecting, this wasn't it. As he struggled to digest this information, she squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to finish.
"I was with him because I'm a fugitive, Jack. He was taking me back home for trial."
Next chapter: A medical emergency and Jack reacts to Kate's revelation... ;)