A/N: Shout-out to TrulyFrighteninLilMonsterAlice for getting the Mercutio/Injun Joe thingy right! I'm not putting the answer up just yet, so people can still have the opportunity to get shout-outs and cookies. But don't cheat, 'cause I can tell when you cheat because, though you may not know it, my special secret sneaky spy Ferdinand Foch is in YOUR room right now to see if you are cheating. I has had a snow day and are writing a chapter. Huzzah!

Disclaimer: Seriously… do you need this? After four other chapters? Cheese and rice…

FUN FACT: I'm watching 'The Simpsons' and the guy sang the 'I'm Young and Healthy' song from "42nd Street", which I am currently in. REPRESENT!

Bella and Edward enter, wearing the same James and Lucretia Garfield-era clothes that they were in the prologue.

"Carlisle pondered. Carlisle planned. Like a machine, man! He was waiting for Beadle Mike Newton to come to his doctor's office!" Bella shouted.

"Bella… shhh…" Edward whispered.

"Whyyyy??" she whined.

"People will catch on to the wrongdoings of Dr Cullen and then there won't be any story left to tell!" Edward snapped.

Bella formed her mouth into an 'o' shape and she and her fiancé that really should've been Jacob frolicked into the distance.

Carlisle paced in his office. He set his hands on Esme's shoulders, "Why isn't Beadle Newton here yet?! He said 'Before the week is out'! He said that. He did."

Esme slid the cold white hands off her shoulders, "It's only Thursday, dear. Calm down. Don't stress yourself out. I'm sure he'll be here soon!"

Carlisle turned around about-face and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Carlisle, dear. The beadle'll come," Esme approached the doctor from behind and wrapped her arms around his waist, "In the meantime, we can decorate your office. It'll be ever so fun!"

Carlisle stood still, "And who knows when Chief Swan will come…"

"We can put some daisies over there… or maybe pansies. No, daisies. And we can have a nice light green wallpaper—"

"Esme! There are more important things to think about than the color of the wallpaper in here and what kind of flowers there will be!"

Jasper suddenly entered the room excitedly. He leaned against Carlisle's desk with one hand and panted, "I. Got. Great. News."

Carlisle helped him to a chair, "What is it, boy?"

"Who is this?" asked Esme.

"Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am, of the Confederate States of America. Dr Cullen and I met while he was in exile down in Texas."

"Pleasure," nodded Esme.

"Anyway, I met this beautiful girl today named Alice. She lives in Chief Swan's house, and he keeps her locked in her room all day. She dropped this key out of her window," he held it up proudly, "to me before I left. I'm going to ask her to marry me, but I have nowhere to take her. Would you mind if I brought her here, Dr. C?"

"What did you say her name was, Jasper?" Carlisle turned around slowly to meet the boy's gaze.

"Alice, sir."

Carlisle looked knowingly and Esme, then turned back again towards Jasper, "You can bring her here."

The handsome young major's face lit up, "Oh, thank you, Dr Cullen! Thank you so much!" He was no sooner gone after he exclaimed those words.

Carlisle relaxed in a chair and Esme sat atop his desk.

"Alice… my girl…" the doctor sighed, staring off into space.

Esme smiled lovingly at him. A sudden knock came from the door.

"Dr Cullen? Are you in there?" it was foreign accent, that of an American.

"Yessir. Who is it?"

"Dr Perry Cox. Remember me?"

Carlisle and Esme jumped out of their spots in unison. Esme walked over to the door and let the other doctor in, who was accompanied by his assistant, Jacob.

"Hello, Dr Cox."

"Dr Cullen."

The two doctors both looked at Esme and Jacob. Esme took the hint.

"Oh! Look at the littl'un! Come downstairs, dear. You can have a nice meat pie. How does that sound, hm?"

Jacob nodded quickly and the pie shop owner and the Native American lad left the office.

Carlisle sat behind his desk and motioned for Dr Cox to pull a chair over.

"What do you want to talk about, sir?"

"I think you know… Robert Chase."

Carlisle froze, "How… do you know….my—"

Dr Cox smiled smugly, "You probably don't remember me. My name is Gregory House."

Carlisle tilted his head a little, not recognizing the name.

Cox continued, "I worked for you a while ago… And you look exactly the same as you did when I last saw you. I wasn't with you for a long time. You were an intern of mine for a couple of weeks. And I remember that scalpel you had," he pointed to a shiny metal object on the desk, "That was one thing I couldn't forget about you… That scalpel…"

"What do I have to do so you won't tell anyone?"

"Well… we can be partners and have a clinic together. And you would give 90 percent of the money you make to me, and I'll keep quiet."

"No." Carlisle frowned.

"That's the only way, Robert," Cox shrugged.

Carlisle felt himself suddenly fill with rage as he grabbed the scalpel and raised it to a panicked and surprised Cox's throat. But he set the medical instrument down. Instead he sunk his teeth into the skin of his former colleague.

A few minutes later, he finally realized what he did.

"Shit," Carlisle mumbled as he wiped the blood off his face. He looked around his office for something to put the dead body in and luckily there was a large trunk in the corner of the room. He stuffed Dr Gregory House/Perry Cox's body in there with ease and shut the lid of the trunk and sat on it.

A soft knock on the wooden door got Carlisle's attention.

"Oh, gosh… what now?" sighed the doctor as he opened the door to reveal Jacob.

"'ello, sir! I was supposed to get Dr Cox when I was done with my pie. That's what Esme told me, at least."

Carlisle's eyes darted around the room as he thought of an excuse, "Um… Dr Cox isn't ready to leave yet. You should go down to Esme and ask her for another pie and a nice big drink o' gin…"

Jacob grinned and ran down the stairs. Carlisle quickly shut the door and leaned against it, "Shit…"

A/N: Don't worry! There is little wait for Jasper/Alice action!! I promise I will have it up tomorrow!! (I just didn't want this chapter to be too long.) And if by some weird reason it's not there tomorrow (I have 42nd Street rehearsal and I get home late) it will most def be there Thursday.

OLD BUSINESS: 'My Dr Acula' co-author. And whoever knows who Injun Joe and Mercutio are from still get shout-outs and cookies. The answer for that will be revealed at the very end of the story, and if you cheat Ferdinand Foch will get you in your sleep. Oh yes, he will. Just wait!

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "And we all know that Tybalt killed Mercutio and let Romeo kill him so they could be together somewhere else because the world would not accept them." - Ayana