A/N: Le gasp! An update, and before schedule I must love you all. Ok, nothing against my wonderful readers, I was just bored, but really, I do love you all, words do not express my appreciation for your continued interest in my story.
Does that count as an insane rant? Nah…I must be coming down with something, I shall have to express my insanity the one way left, through the wonderful medium of Shukaku. To the fic!
If I owned Naruto, this story would've been abandoned and there would have been quite a few changes to the show…but alas, I don't so I can only dream and borrow its characters.
"Spoken word"
'Thoughts'
"Demon speech/speech between host and demon"
"Jutsus"
"Snake/Master speech"
'Demon thoughts'
(Unknown forest deep in the Land of Fire)
"Hey, Shukaku, wake up, we're nearing the border to the Land of Water."
"You didn't make any killings while I was sleeping did you?"
"And if I did?"
"I'll just have to give you some lovely ideas, and a few choice dreams; you do remember your previous predicament, yes?"
"Evil sadistic bastard."
"Awww, I didn't know you cared, I suppose now you want a hug?"
"Oh dear lord, NO! I've stuck to the forest and other non-traveled routes, not even any bandits or rouge nins to speak of."
"Well it looks like our run of bad luck is over."
"Meaning?"
"Really now, how long have we known each other, practically your whole life, right? You should know me better by now, obviously your observation skills are lacking, sometimes I forget you're still a pup underneath that cold exterior…by the way you might want to duck or something."
Gaara just noticed at least fifteen kunai flying straight for his head. He quickly dodged out of the way and searched for their places of origin.
"Damn they're on the move, why the hell didn't you warn me before? Or, better yet, why didn't the sand shield activate?"
"Ahem, and I quote 'Shukaku, don't activate the sand shield on this mission, I want to truly test my abilities.' Ring any bells? Oh and one is aiming a rather impressive katana at your neck, might I suggest dodging?"
Gaara cursed and used his sand scarf to halt the blade and immobilize his attacker.
"Nice jutsu brat, never seen anything like it, but I think it would be wise move on your part to release our friend and handover any valuables you may have."
"You would dare attack a stone shinobi? You're either incredibly brave, or incredibly foolish."
"You can't be much older than thirteen; a genin at best, what's the matter got separated from your sensei?"
Gaara's ears twitched as the sound of approaching footsteps met his ears, soon the trees around him we're filled with at least thirty more bandits. The gang's leader spoke up again.
"This is the last time I'm going to say it, brat, release our friend and hand over any goods you have."
"Well Shukaku, looks like you got your wish."
"I'm going to relish this greatly, show them I'm the only one who can call you 'brat', brat."
"It's nice to know I'm precious to you."
"I'm afraid I can't release your friend, as you can see, my scarf has him quite tied up at the moment…"
Gaara stuck out his hand and the bandits readied for battle.
"…But you can have what's left, if you escape that is. The Sand Coffin: Sand Burial"
With a clench of his fist his scarf completely covered the captured bandit and crushed him in an instant.
"You bastard! You'll pay for this, get him!"
"At least try and make this interesting."
Gaara leapt to the forest floor so he had more room to work with and was instantly surrounded with all of the rouge nin minus the leader.
"Well, what are you waiting for? I'm right here."
Two of the nin rushed forward from opposite sides hoping to confuse Gaara, who ducked below the first one that arrived too soon and sent an elbow straight into his gut. Reinforced with chakra the bandit went flying backwards, the other that had rushed Gaara pulled out a kunai and sliced at Gaara's side, but he fell to the ground and landed on his hand at sent a spiral kick to the rouge's knees. A distinct crunch could be heard.
"Use your numbers, it's just one genin!"
"That man looks fun, can I play too?"
"Well it wouldn't be a party without you now would it?"
The rouges had wizened up and had ducked out of any melee range and began forming hand seals.
"Your attempts are futile. Sandstorm: Disruption."
Instantly sand and loose minerals swept up in a great cloud and blanketed the battlefield. A great deal of coughing could be heard as well cries of surprise as none of their jutsus worked.
"You idiots can't even handle one measly snot nosed punk, what the hell!?"
"If it would make you feel better, you can face two of me. The Sand Clone in the Style of a Demon."
More sand fled from Gaara's body and formed an exact clone of him, except with yellow eyes. The clone jumped up and landed directly in front of the bandits' leader.
"You'll be dealing with me now, Jiro don't leave a single one alive, and I'll take care of this one."
The clone growled out in scratchy and hate filled voice. Gaara nodded, it had been agreed that his fake name would be used on all missions; he had the raging sandstorm form a barrier to contain the rest of the gang and turned to watch Shukaku work.
"What kind of clone is this? Nevermind, I'll still tear you to shreds!"
"Tough talk for a dead man, any time you're ready."
"Then take this: Fire Style: Stream Shot"
A Blast of fire flew from the leader's mouth and blasted a hole straight through Shukaku's clone body, engulfing it in flames.
"Ha! No problem!"
"Hahaha, pathetic human, are you deaf or just idiotic? This body is formed from earth materials; fire doesn't affect it at all."
The sand quickly reformed the hole that was made and was as good as new. Shukaku laughed maniacally and rushed at the now fear-paralyed man. The clone's sand body formed clawed hands and it was over in seconds.
"Now now Jiro, what have I told you about playing with prey?"
"That it's fun and should be done at every opportunity to extract every possible dreg of fear possibly possessed by the prey?"
"Hmm, so I did, none the less we have a schedual to keep, this Gato is bound to have strong bodyguards, I want to hear their screams as I decapitate them after maiming them, so lets get a move on; use those new moves its quicker."
And with that the clone broke down and the sand returned to Gaara. 'Tch, always so impatient for the next kill, but he's right, I'm wasting time here.'
"Sandstorm: Invasion"
"Sandstorm: Rendering"
"Sandstorm: Assimilation"
Gaara hurried on, now alert for any Leaf patrols alerted by the chakra spike, the battlefield devoid of any trace of the massacre.
(Edge of the Land of Fire and Water)
"Great, water! Just what I need, do you know what type of trouble I have to go through drying this luxurious fur of mine? It has to be sunned gently while a crisp breeze, autumn or spring only, runs through it chasing away all moisture. Its not easy maintaining such a silky quality to this stuff you know especially out in that dry desert air, I constantly have to prowl the desert for-"
"Shukaku! Shut. Up. You're worse than the civilians back home, and that's saying something. And if you didn't notice, you are in my mind, your fur can't get wet no matter how hard you try."
"Well if someone did the redecorating that I had asked for…then again you do lack any and all imagination, I suppose the same sand dune over and over again is better than nothing at all, you could at least ad a cactus, a town or something to take off the monotony. Hmm, where was I? Oh yeah, and I have to comb-"
"Yes, comb the desert numerous times over looking for a rare blossom flower that adds a certain 'milk and honey' quality to the fur, this is the fifteenth time I've heard this story since you learned that 'Water Country' was actually surrounded by, guess what? WATER! And you redecorate; you spend more time in there than I do."
"You. Idiotic. Brat. Does the word 'seal' mean anything to you? Because to us demons it means we're stuck, sealed, completely caged, so no, you redecorate! And just because someone is an uncouth heathen that doesn't care about MY personal hygiene doesn't mean that I don't care about yours. It's because of my careful grooming habits that your hair is so ravish-able, don't you want to look good for any potential mates? You're never gonna attract a decent seme if I don't help you."
"For the last time, I am not gay, looking for a mate, or uke!"
Shukaku had been pushing the mating thing a lot lately, the few times Gaara stopped for brief naps were plagued by Shukaku continuing Gaara's mating knowledge. Gaara was on his last nerve and seriously stressed. Shukaku seriously had a one-track mind; everything went back to finding Gaara's seme lately. Gaara took a moment to don civilian clothing and formed The Sand Cloud for dry transportation to the islands.
"Sure you're the uke, all the signs point to it."
"What signs?"
"The sign-y signs, you know the ones, they're shiny."
"Can I just focus on the mission?"
"Sure and I'll focus on finding us a man, a big, strong man."
"…Why does is it have to be a big strong one, and do you have to say man like that?
"Yes it shows his manly-ness, and of course he has to be big and strong, I'm not going to be mated to some weakling, please Gaara, have SOME standards."
"You mean like silky and luxurious hair?"
"Exactly, and don't forget lots of killings."
"Oh no, can't forget about maximizing blood loss and fear when killing someone or something."
"I'm glad you understand."
"For someone who uses sarcasm so much you sure do suck at noticing it."
"Oh do I? Well then it would stand to reason you would be great at sucking-"
Gaara quickly severed the mental link, despite this Shukaku still forced some images in that had Gaara blushing like mad underneath his sand scarf and Shukaku's cackling in the background was distinctly heard.
Gaara quickly composed himself as he touched down in a desolate area of the island. He went to the shore and drenched a spare set of clothes he had for credibility reasons and headed into town to find a temporary HQ and to collect information on his target.
'And the mission officially begins; Gato, your days are numbered.'
"What about adding in an oasis or forest somewhere."
"Arrgh! Didn't I block you!?"
"So that's a no on any redecorations, huh?"
"Go away and let me work."
"Fine, you don't have to get all huffy just because you don't want to give your poor unfortunate tenant a better standard of living. You know the one has saved your life numerous times and fed you, and clothed you, and chased away the dark creature of the night."
"The only things that were true out of that statement was 'no I don't want to give you a 'better standard of living'' and 'saved your life numerous times'."
"Damn, the one flaw in my plan."
"You have a plan now?"
"Yes, but I'm sleepy, g'night brat! Wake me if its bloody claw time."
"Wait! Shukaku! What plan!?"
(An office in a mansion overlooking the meager village)
"I have employed you for a very specific reason. You are to take care of any shinobi that these people might have hired to get rid of me. For every shinobi head you bring in I'll reward you handsomely. So do you agree?"
"One condition: Don't order me around."
"Of course not! I would never dream of doing so. By the way, I had heard you had a…subordinate. Where is she?"
"HE is in town, familiarizing himself with the layout and it surrounding areas, and you would do well not to cross him, he would not take kindly to you, or your men's advances."
"Oh, right, right, of course. Well we are in agreement; here is your first payment. Welcome aboard Momochi-san."
A/N: I know, bad foreshadowing, this was mainly a plot filler; Get Gaara into the village and introducing his target. Next up Naruto's team arrives on the scene. You know the drill by now, I update bi-weekly
To clear up any possible confusion, Gaara's outfit is exactly the same as described before with the exception of his new sand gauntlets and his attire is completely black. His sand shield is still around; he can have Shukaku depress it if he wants.
-- Fire Style: Stream Shot – not very special, a mid-range fire attack, blasts a concentrated stream of fire directly at a target and engulfs them in flames.
--The Sand Clone in the Style of a Demon – A sand clone built entirely with Shukaku's chakra allowing Shukaku to control it and giving Gaara an instant ally on the battlefield if needed.
--The Sand Coffin: Sand Burial – Straight from the anime/manga.
-- Sandstorm: Disruption – A new jutsu set Shukaku taught Gaara. Gaara's sand and any earth mineral around form a vicious sandstorm, interrupting enemy movement and vision and also prevents anyone caught within it, besides Gaara, from performing any jutsu by absorbing any chakra exerted to form the jutsu.
-- Sandstorm: Invasion – The sandstorm invades the enemy's body anyway possible; through the mouth, nose, eyes, or boring directly through exposed skin, etc. Once inside the sand quickly circulates and spreads through the body; set-up to…
-- Sandstorm: Rendering – The sand within the enemy's body begins to form small blades that rock back and forth in growing size and movement range, dicing up the enemy from the inside out.
-- Sandstorm: Assimilation – Last in the set and the clean-up move. The sand coats the dead bodies and absorbs them, spilled blood, and any remaining chakra. Truly a case of the sand and Gaara becoming stronger with each kill.
Don't forget to review! Reviews make me happy and happiness has a direct correlation to my imagination and insanity producing a better story. And no, boredom just makes me write, doesn't necessarily mean it's of good quality, for instance this was all filler, and all you got were some new jutsus.