A/N: So this was initially meant to be a one or two chapter deal, but it keeps growing and keeps going in directions I didn't intend, but hopefully it works and doesn't get too repetitive. Thanks for all the reviews on the prologue and please let me know what you think of where it is going. And the rest of the story takes places after the close of the episode.

Chapter One

Alex was quiet as she drove them back home, still lost in an evidence box with a bloody shirt and a cigarette butt over a decade old. All those years she thought she knew what had happened. She had no reason not to trust the story that was told to her, just like Teresa had no reason not to trust Copa.

Bobby stole sideways glances at her, worried he had crossed a line that he wasn't going to be able to come back from.

He continued to wearily watch her as they went through the motions of parking the car and getting into the building.

As they entered the apartment, Eleanor and Madison looked up from the kitchen table, where they sat going through one of Madison's workbooks.

Alex walked up behind Madison and kissed the top of her head, before walking down the hall to the bedroom.

Bobby showed Eleanor out and as he came back into the kitchen, Madison turned her head from the hallway to him.

"Is momma okay?" she asked as he stepped closer to her.

He sighed and ran a hand over her hair.

"She…she didn't have a very good day," he said. "I'm gonna go talk to her…and then we'll…we'll make dinner, okay?"

Madison nodded and watched him disappear down the hall.

Bobby found Alex in the oversized chair in the far corner of their bedroom with her legs tucked under her and her thumbnail between her teeth.

He cautiously sat on the ottoman in front of her. She didn't make any move to acknowledge him, but just continued to stare at the plaid pattern on the arm of the chair.

"Alex…"

"I thought I was over it," she said softly, still refusing to look at him. "I guess I just got good at forgetting…you made it easy and Mad, well she put a pad lock on it."

Bobby leaned forward and fought the urge to touch her, wanting her to soothe his own insecurities.

"I…I'm sorry…that I pushed this," he said, trying to catch her eyes. "But you needed to know the truth."

She nodded absently. "When it happened I just wanted it to be over…for someone to hurt as much as I was. All I could ever think was how unfair it was that we would never…anything."

Her voice trailed as her eyes welled with tears and she felt Bobby shift uncomfortably in front of her.

"Are…" Bobby's voiced trailed, uncertain if he really wanted to know the answer to the question on the tip of his tongue. "Are you…still…still in love with him?"

She was startled by the question and looked up at him with watery eyes. She felt guilt topple on top of guilt at the pained expression in his eyes.

Alex shook her head and shrugged her right shoulder. "I guess a part of me will always love him…but I also can't image being anywhere else, but where I am. I just don't know what that means when he crosses my mind… I can't help but still feel guilty sometimes…"

"For…for being able to…to move on," Bobby said. "F-for surviving."

She shook her head, but still didn't know how to explain the things she was feeling and wasn't even sure if she completely understood them herself.

"We always thought we'd end up like our parents…the kids, the house…the golden anniversary…and I wanted it, but now… to think about the possibility of not having you or Mad…it hurts…what does that mean?" she said her voice wavering on the last phrase.

Her shoulders heaved with silent sobs and he pulled her against him. He tightened his arms around her as she gave in and cried into his chest.

"I-I don't know what it means," he spoke into her hair, chewing back his own tears of guilt and helplessness of not knowing how to help. "I…I hope it means you're happy with where you ended up…but…but just because you are…it doesn't invalidate what…he was to you. Just like missing him…doesn't change what we are."

He hoped he had convinced himself as well as her, as he felt her arms tighten around his stomach.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered. "This isn't very fair to you."

He buried his nose into her silky hair and breathed deep, slightly settling his nerves.

"If…if anyone got a fair deal out of this…it's me, so don't apologize," Bobby said.

She squeezed him even closer, pressing her face into the space where his neck met his shoulder.

"This whole thing just got everything so jumbled…I don't know what I'm supposed to feel…"

"You-you feel what you feel…"

Alex kept her face buried against the skin of his neck and took in deep breaths, trying to stop her crying.

She sat up, but felt his hand cradle her cheek and she leaned into it as she let out a long breath. She wiped one cheek with the back of her hand, while Bobby swiped the other with his thumb.

She placed her hand on his wrist and turned to kiss his palm.

"How scary do I look?" Alex asked, again wiping her eyes and his hand fell to rest on her knee.

"You're beautiful," he said.

She rolled her eyes, but placed her hand over his. "Liar."

He gave her weak, but hopeful smile.

They both stared down at their joined hands, both a little calmer, but still unsure.

"Maddie's probably getting antsy," Alex said.

"She…she could tell you were upset…" he said with a nod. "I told her I'd make dinner…after I checked on you"

Alex stood, kissing his forehead on the way. "Then we should probably go find something to eat."

He reluctantly nodded and followed her, knowing they were both too drained to make anymore sense of everything.

Madison sat up on her knees in the kitchen chair and watched them as they came toward her.

Bobby headed to the frig, while Alex approached the table.

"Are you okay, momma?"

Alex gave her a small smile and lifted her up before settling down in the kitchen chair, hugging her daughter close.

"Yeah…I'm okay," Alex said softly into Madison's hair and then kissed her head. "I love you, baby."

"Love you too, momma," Madison said and craned her neck to look up at her mother.

Alex smiled and then kissed her forehead, while listening to the clanking of pans and the rustle of bags that Bobby had placed on the counter near the stove, knowing he needed something to let out his nervous energy.

The doorbell startled all three of them, their eyes swinging toward the sound.

"I'll get it," Bobby said, beginning to move toward the door.

"No, you're already cooking," Alex said, placing Madison on her feet and then rising from the chair. "Maddie, why don't you help daddy, I'll get the door."

Alex walked the short distance to the door and as her hand hit the knob she glanced over at Madison climbing onto a step stool next to Bobby as he gave her a simple task to help him with. The peace she felt watching them nearly made her forget the door, realizing that she couldn't feel guilty about that little girl or how she happened to come by her.

The bell sounded again and Alex forced her attention back to the door.

She twisted the knob, pulling the door open and silently gapped at the woman standing shyly in the hallway.

"Teresa…"

"I guess I'm the last person you thought would show up on your doorstep," Teresa said with a strained smile.

"It's a fair bet."

Teresa nodded. "I…uh…I heard you got him…"

"We did," Eames nodded.

Teresa gave a short nod, looking down at her feet as if trying to find courage from the floor for whatever reason she had actually come there.

"Look…I had no right to say the things I did…I'm sorry…"

Alex shook her head. "It's okay…if…it was different…if it was me…I probably would have reacted the same way."

"Still…I had no right…you had no reason to be kind to me, but you were—"

"Momma! Daddy wants to know if you want the sauce sweet or spicy?"

Alex couldn't help but let out a small laugh and then called back, "Sweet."

"That's what he thought!" Madison called and Alex could hear Bobby laugh and then mutter something about that not being what he had meant for her to do.

"I'll go," Teresa said. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No…why don't you come in…Bobby's actually a pretty good cook. I mean you once survived my cooking so you'll love his," Alex said.

Teresa watched her hesitantly.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah," Alex nodded and gestured her to come in.

She shyly entered and watched Alex close the door.

"Thanks…the boys are at Kevin's parents and I just really didn't want to be at the house."

Alex put a hand on Teresa's shoulder and steered her toward the kitchen island.

"Can we set another place?" Alex asked.

Bobby and Madison turned to look at them. Alex could see his surprise, but he kindly nodded.

"Sure," Bobby said. "I-I hope you like eggplant."

Teresa gave a tight smile and then said, "Sounds great."