Consequences
By Spense
Chapter Four
Alan wasn't particularly excited when school ended. It had been a wholly unsatisfying couple of months. Spring break had been such a high, but everything else had been such a downer.
He knew his grades had slipped some, but he was finding it hard to care. So he had gone from a B-/C average to a C/C-. So what. It wasn't like he was good at school anyway. Nobody really expected him to be either. Why not just fulfill the anticipated outcome?
He hadn't been particularly surprised when Parker had come to pick them up, either. As usual, the last man not involved in something important got stuck with the duty. He wasn't even surprised that Brains was along. He at least seemed to LIKE his son.
So Alan just sat quietly in FAB-1, listening to Brains and Fermat chatter, accepted the apology from his father passed on by Brains about his not being able to pick him up in person, and didn't react. He found it hard to even get mad about it anymore. Why bother? You can't change the pull of the tides, and he was tired of bucking the trend.
He was glad when they landed, and he could chuck his stuff in his room, and disappear for awhile. He changed into running clothes and headed out for the beach. He waved to Kyrano as he passed the gardens, but didn't stop.
He picked up a run as he hit the beach, settling into his stride quickly. The slap of his shoes on the firm, damp sand was therapeutic, and he felt himself relaxing as the rhythmic motion granted its own peace and distraction.
TB TB TB TB TB
Brains helped Fermat unpack in their suite of rooms. He was concerned about Alan. He knew Jeff was worried, and had been for some time. But after today's ride home, Brains felt he had just cause.
"Fermat, w-what's wrong with A-Alan?"
Fermat stopped what he was doing and turned to his father, a worried expression on his face. "I don't k-know Dad. I wish I-I did."
"Has he been this w-withdrawn at school?"
"Uh-huh. I can't get him to do a-anything. He's like a r-robot. He goes through the motions, but d-doesn't seem to get enthusiastic about any-thing anymore. A-and he gets mad if I-I say anything about it. He doesn't e-even watch the rescues w-when they're on TV either. He acts like he doesn't care!"
If anything, this just raised Brains' level of concern further.
"It's okay F-Fermat. I'll talk to Mr. Tracy about it, but I'm sure now that A-Alan is home, things w-will improve."
Unfortunately, Brains was wrong. Things just got worse.
The uproar started as soon as the Tracy's returned from the latest rescue. It had been a long one. A building collapse in a crowded section of Pakistan. The language barrier, the overcrowded streets and lack of basic amenities has all made the procedures stressful, and had resulted in a larger loss of life than anybody liked to see.
Jeff and his sons were tired, stressed and on a short fuse. So, it didn't help Jeff to return to his office and find Alan's report card on the desk. He knew it was a mistake to look at it before he'd even greeted his youngest son, but there was just something fatalistic about that innocent looking envelope. And the inevitable happened.
Furious at the results, he summoned Alan to his office, and was not happy to be told he was 'out', and nobody knew exactly where. He waited nearly two hours before Alan finally showed up.
Alan wasn't in a good mood either, having heard about the summons from Kyrano, who was still in the garden and the first to see him. Then from Ohana, in the kitchen as he stopped by to grab a granola bar.
Then he ran the gauntlet of all of his brothers, each individually. First Gordon, coming in from the pool as Alan passed out of the kitchen.
"Well, you did it again, Sprout! Dad's mad at you for something," Gordon said with a grin as he tousled Alan's hair.
Alan ducked in irritation, but didn't say anything as he made his way down the hall, Gordon's voice following him.
"I won the pool, you'll be glad to know. I said you'd piss him off in less than two hours. Welcome home, by the way."
Virgil was just entering the lounge as a scowling Alan headed down the hall. "Geez, Alan, watch it," Virgil commented as he was nearly mowed down. "You do know how to stir things up, don't you?" He said grinning.
Scott, clearly having just come from his father's office and was heading towards the elevator as Alan came off of it, shook his head in reprimand. "Alan, you know better than to go off and not leave word where you're going! I know it's an island, but still. And Dad's been waiting nearly two hours, so he's pretty pissed. So you'd better watch your mouth."
Alan just pushed passed him without saying a thing, he was pretty pissed himself.
Scott looked after him in concern, then continued towards the elevator. World War III was about to erupt, and it was best just to let it run it's course.
The meeting was predictable - at least at first. Jeff was so angry by the time Alan finally showed up, he didn't even yell. He just began chewing Alan out in a quiet, firm voice that was far worse than yelling could ever be.
He covered Alan's lack of leaving a note, his grades, his disappointment in Alan's lack of focus and maturity, and finally his overall attitude with a calm that was frightening.
One part of Alan considered that he'd probably never seen his father quite so angry. But Alan had probably never been so angry himself.
The voice in his head was hissing to him. 'Does any of this really surprise you? You've known what they all think of you. You know they only notice you when you do something wrong. It's always about their precious Thunderbirds.' Alan's anger burned hot and deep, and with it came a brutal, chilling calm. The same calm he'd been feeling for weeks crystallized into a deep, wide blanket, covering everything with a tight, rigid control.
Jeff finally wound to a halt, so angry that he hadn't even noticed that his normally volatile son hadn't said a word, when normally he would have been engaging in a shouting match by now.
"Well, do you have anything to say for yourself?" Jeff finally finished, his face and voice stern.
'Why bother?' Alan's mind whispered to him. 'He never listens anyway. None of them do.' Alan considered this. It was true. So why bother.
"No," Alan said flatly, and stood silent.
Jeff regarded him for a moment, becoming more angry (if possible) at the sullen look on his son's face, and the unrepentant tone of voice. Somehow it was easier to take a yelling, pouting, tantrum throwing Alan, than this sullen, silent boy in front of him.
"Fine. Then, you're grounded from any Thunderbird Training for the next two weeks. You'll help Kyrano every morning for that time with whatever chores he needs done. And consider shaping your attitude up young man, or you won't be on the team all summer. Understand?"
"Yes, sir," Alan said coldly. "Am I excused?"
"Yes. Go to your room. Stay there until morning. After breakfast, go directly to Kyrano."
Alan didn't even reply, just turned on his heel and left.
Jeff exhaled heavily as he left and put his head in his hands, gradually calming down. He stayed that way until a voice broke the silence.
"Well? Is it safe to come in?"
Jeff looked up to see Scott looking inquiringly from the door. "Yes, yes, come on in," he said, exhaling heavily.
"I didn't hear any shouting. It can't have been that bad," Scott offered as he dropped into a chair.
"No," Jeff said thoughtfully, "actually, I think it was worse."
"What do you mean?" Scott asked.
"I've been sitting here thinking about it. I mean, Alan didn't react. He just stood there, sullen, didn't move, didn't say a word, and left when I finished."
"Well, being passive aggressive is a typical teenage trait," Scott said with a grin.
"Have you been talking to John again?" Jeff grumbled.
Scott laughed outright. "No, but I know Johnny would be saying the exact same thing."
Jeff grinned in spite of himself. "Yes, well, he did. Last night when we talked." His other blond son was back up on TB5, now that it was repaired, and he missed him. He'd taken to talking to him nightly. He sobered. "I grounded Alan from training for two weeks."
Scott whistled softly. "Wow. You were mad. How did he take it?"
"I just told you," Jeff frowned. "No reaction." He slammed a hand on his desk. "Damm, I wish I knew what was wrong with that kid."
Scott jumped in spite of himself, then thought a minute. "Dad, I think maybe you're worrying too much. Alan's fourteen. He's moody, defiant, and obnoxious. In other words, a typical teenager. Besides, he's home now. You can keep an eye on him."
In spite of his son's logical words, Jeff still felt a tendril of anxiety deep within. Maybe he was just being overprotective of Alan, after all, he was the youngest by five years. Maybe his son was right and he was reading too much into this. He forced himself to breath deep. "Maybe you're right Scott, maybe you're right."
Scott smiled reassuringly. "I'll try to talk to him, how about that?"
Jeff nodded assent. "But not tonight. We all need time to calm down."
TB TB TB TB TB
Alan found that he really enjoyed working in the garden with Kyrano. It turned out to not be that much of a punishment. The gardens were quiet and calm - soothing somehow. And Kyrano wasn't given to a lot of conversation. He'd tell Alan what he needed done, give him instructions, then leave him alone. He was always available if Alan had questions, and never treated him like he was stupid when he asked.
Alan had never realized just how much his brother's did that to him. They never wanted to take the time to teach him about anything, even when he'd been learning about the Thunderbirds. There was always a lot of sighing when he asked them to repeat something, or snapping when he did something wrong. Not with John so much, but Alan so seldom saw John, it didn't really matter. He'd gone back up to the repaired space station before Alan had returned home from school.
But working in the garden was different, and Alan found it peaceful. He hadn't realized how much he'd been craving peace. He often worked a few hours into the afternoon, after his sentence was up for the day, just because it was relaxing. He'd lose track of time, as he dug in the dirt, or pruned the vegetation.
'You see, that's the problem. Your family, as always. You don't fit in and they know it. That's why they push you aside,' his mind supplied. Alan agreed with his very vocal subconscious. They were the problem, but this helped.
Jeff had tried talk to him a couple of times, trying to get him to open up. Alan just wasn't interested. He knew where he stood now. Even if he hadn't found the letters over Spring Break, the latest incidents would have proved the point to him pretty clearly. Therefore, he didn't see much sense in bucking the trend, or in talking about it further.
Scott kept cornering him as well. Virgil and Gordon too. Alan frowned as he thought about it. It just amazed him that all the times they ignored him, when they wanted to talk, he was supposed to just drop everything and oblige.
But the silent thing worked really, really well, and pretty soon, they all would give up. But they always left saying 'that if he wanted to talk, they would be available'. Yeah right. Alan knew where that went. If Alan wanted something, there was no way any of them would be around. He knew that from experience.
TB TB TB TB TB
Alan's punishment ended quicker than he'd thought possible and his Thunderbird training began again in earnest. And if Alan had been frustrated before, he was way beyond that point now. The whole thing really set his teeth on edge. It was all he could do to bite his tongue when one or another brother snapped at him, or pushed him brusquely aside to fix something he'd done wrong.
Alan and Gordon had always gotten along well, but training on TB4 was straining that relationship to the max. He discovered that his easy-going brother was a real perfectionist when it came to the little yellow submarine, and his military manner made Scott look like a pansy.
He finally took to helping Kyrano in the garden before breakfast, as it helped him calm down and get ready for the onslaught of the day. It didn't help that Fermat and TinTin were having a real ball learning, and that his brother's seemed to be so much easier on them.
Alan was beginning to think he really didn't want to be a part of International Rescue at all. Not if it was going to be like this. He was finally seeing that he was never going to be treated like part of the team, and he really wasn't sure if he even wanted to try anymore.
But for the time being, he muddled through the best he could. He tried his hardest in training, and on the simulators, and when they went out on actual rescues, where he, TinTin and Fermat worked the background - well out of any danger.
He hated it. He hated feeling useless and unnecessary. And he was tired. Tired of fighting for a place that should be rightfully his, something that he was beginning to understand would never happen. He was the youngest of five sons, and the other four were more than enough. There just was no place for him.