Eventually he looked round at her. "I don't know where to begin," he said shaking his head slightly as he rubbed the back of his hand against his damp cheeks.

"Which part of the letter made you smile?" she asked.

"What?"

"You were smiling when you read part of it."

"Oh – yeah, it was that bit about Macy's. It reminded me of when I took you to wherever it was in London the day after it was confirmed that you were pregnant with Liz."

"Harrod's."

"That's the one. I guess I was just as excited as Eddy was–" Then he stopped and let out a sudden sigh of frustration. "Why?" he asked, almost harshly. "For God's sake, why did she never tell me?"

"Jed, don't be angry with her," Abbey said gently. "It was a different generation, they didn't talk about things like that – least of all to a teenage son. But you always knew that she loved you, didn't you?"

Jed nodded and his eyes softened. "Yeah – always. She was my rock, the one stable thing in my life when – well, when I got so confused by the other thing. She was always so calm, so supportive – so proud of everything that I did – even the silly drawings I brought home from school when I was in first grade–" he smiled to himself at the memory "–and the first time I served as an altar boy – and when I got chosen for the sixth grade basketball team–"

"And when you graduated at Notre Dame," Abbey added. "She was so proud of you that day, Jed – I still remember how her face just shone with pride and love, it brought tears to my eyes." She didn't add that she also remembered how it had been in total contrast to the cold and aloof look on John Bartlet's face.

Jed looked at her. "You know, the only times she stood up to my – to him – were when she was supporting or defending me." His voice dropped to a whisper. "And all the time it was because I was Eddy's son and she'd loved him so much – and I never knew."

Abbey watched him as his lips tightened and he blinked a few times. Then he heaved a sigh, stood up and took a couple of steps towards the hearth. He put his hand up to the thick wooden beam over the fire alcove and leant his head against it. "I wouldn't have expected her to tell me all about her love affair," he said wearily, "but why – why – why did she never tell me that Eddy was my father?"

"I don't know, Jed, "Abbey said simply. "Maybe – well, maybe she was just sworn to secrecy?"

Jed thought for a few moments then nodded slowly. "That figures, I guess." He paused and then looked round at her and frowned as he shook his head. "No, it doesn't really. Why should he want to keep it a secret? Did he resent me just because I was Eddy's son and not his? But it wasn't as if he couldn't – well, they had Jonathan–" He stopped suddenly. "You know, when we in the Cathedral yesterday, I remembered something I once overheard – something I'd totally forgotten about."

"You want to tell me?"

He shrugged slightly. "It wasn't much really, at least not at the time, because I didn't understand it – but I've been thinking about it ever since–" Briefly he told her of the argument he'd overheard, then shrugged again. "Like I said, it wasn't much–"

Abbey jumped up and moved across to him, and her hand gripped his arm. "Jed, for heavens' sake, it was everything!"

"What d'you mean?"

"Don't you see? Eddy was the smart one, the successful one – your grandfather told you that – and John had probably lived his whole life in his older brother's shadow. And Mary said that Eddy had the sort of magnetism that made him the centre of every room he walked into."

Jed frowned. "Mary? You mean the Mary that the letter was addressed to?"

"Yes – Mary Cavanagh – your mother's best friend – the one I went to see in Ballykane this afternoon. She was with your Mom when she first met Eddy. And when she described him – well, she could have been describing you, Jed."

"But everyone says I look like my mother."

"I don't mean in looks, I mean in personality and character. That's what you've inherited from Eddy – what was it you just said that your Mom said? – the same determination, the same passion, the same idealism? Don't you get it, Jed? It wasn't just that you were Eddy's son and not his – it was because you were the permanent reminder to John Bartlet of the older brother that he could never hope to emulate – and that's why he resented you so much."

Jed was silent for a few moments as he let Abbey's words sink in. Then the echo of another voice came into his head. "He didn't like you. You were smarter than he was," he said aloud.

"What?"

"Toby said that to me once. I nearly threw him out of the Oval that night. 'He hit you because you made him mad but you didn't know why,' he said. 'He didn't like you. That's why he hit you.'" Jed shook his head a little. "Oh Toby, Toby – I really should have listened to you, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, I guess you should."

Jed shrugged and sighed. "So there it is then – I made him mad because he didn't like me, because I was too much like Eddy." He stopped for a moment and then went on, "Stanley Keyworth once told me that I'd never get my father to like me. He was right about that too, wasn't he?"

Abbey nodded. "Yes, he was. John must have had too much built-in resentment, too much jealousy of Eddy."

"So where do we go from here?"

"You've come a long way already, Jed."

"I have?"

Abbey frowned slightly. "Jed, you've spent your whole life not understanding why your father didn't like you – and now you've been given the answer to that. Can you not accept it as it is?"

Jed sighed. "I don't know. I guess I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that the man that I thought was my father wasn't my father at all. And I'm still trying to work out just what my feelings are now about him. God, Abbey, I've spent most of my life forcing myself to respect him because he was my father. And now I feel angry–" He thumped his fist against the fire alcove in sudden frustration.

"Because no-one told you that he wasn't your real father?"

"Yesss!" Jed exclaimed, then took a deep breath, let it out in a sigh and went on quietly, and almost sadly, "–and I feel cheated too, because I never knew my real father and now there's no-one left who can tell me about him."

Abbey hesitated then said, "Come with me to Ballykane tomorrow then, Jed, and meet with Mary Cavanagh. Because she can tell you about him. She told me a lot more – but I think you need to hear it from her, not from me."

Jed looked at her for a long time. "Okay," he said finally, then, "Come here, Abbey."

Wearily, he put his arms round her and held her, his face resting against her hair. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I really wanted this to be a happy time for us – but it's all gone wrong, hasn't it?"

"We'll get through it, Jed, we'll sort it out somehow."

Jed gave her a wan smile. "I love you," he whispered.

TBC