So, could my day get any worse?

In the disgruntled monk's opinion, it couldn't. So as he sat there inside the hot springs, he sighed a heavy sigh and angrily glared at a rock across from him.

'This day blows. I mean, first I get weird advice from a fucking drag queen and his stupid nurse. Then when I actually bother to actually do something right for once, I get boned in the ass by fate once again! ', He let out a frustrated sigh, ' Man..I don't even know what the fuck to do!'

Suddenly the hot spring door opened, a chorus of voices and laughter sounded as he heard the men walk inside. Hidan frowned, ducking himself behind a rock so they wouldn't notice him. He didn't want to talk to some assholes who wanted to fake-pity him. Though, that didn't stop him from hearing the loud bastards.

He tried to ignore them as best as he could, grabbing the nearest bottle of herb to put on his body. The priest lifted it up to his face, an intense frown setting on it once he saw what the herb was: Lavender.

' "Is that your shampoo?"

"...What?"

"The Lavender. Is it your shampoo?"

"Yeah, it is. It's this brand I've always bought...I like the way it makes my hair feels." '

Hidan reached up and ran his hand through his hair, much as a masked man had hours ago.

He bristled up swiftly, returning from his dreamy state and glaring down at the bottle again.

"STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT-ASS CUNT LICKING BOTTLE OF LAVENDER!" He roared as he stood up, throwing the bottle at the nearest wall, a wave of satisfaction coursing through him when it exploded. Heh, teach Kakuzu to invade his head.

"Wow Hidan, I knew you were batshit insane, but isn't this a little much un?" Came an annoyingly familiar voice, causing Hidan to whirl around with his eyes widened in surprise.

Deidara smirked at him, his long hair down and flowing around him in the water. His weird partner, Tobi, sat next to him with his mask on Did the bastard ever take it off? in a full-bodied black wet-suit and towel. His surprise didn't fade when he noticed another pair of people staring at him, a frown setting on his features when he saw Kisame and Itachi sitting there, both in towels and the Uchiha with his hair down.

"What is this place?! An akatsuki resort or some shit?!" Hidan asked angrily, glaring them all down. This caused laughter from Kisame and Deidara, who smirked at him once they fell silent.

"It looks that way, Hida-san!" Tobi piped up, "But in reality, it's cause Dei-Sempai's really lazy and-" At once Deidara glared at Tobi in a swift turn of his head, causing the masked man to fall silent, not wanting to be exploded out of the water. Hidan had to grin at this, turning his eyes to the mad bomber.

"Lazy huh? You guys could have stopped at another inn, you know." Hidan frowned, inviting himself into their area of the spring by stepping over the rock wall and plopping himself down in between the two sets of partners, "Why here of all places?"

"It was on our way to Rain, to visit Pein-sama." Deidara said, giving one last glare to Tobi before looking back at Hidan, " And the heat was killing us, so we came here un." He shrugged after he said the last part, looking at the ceiling.

"What about you guys?" Hidan looked over at Kisame and his ever-silent partner Itachi. The shark blinked, shrugging as well, "The heat was bothering us too, so we decided to take a break here for a couple days before we headed off to Konoha." While Kisame was saying this, he stretched and put his arm behind Itachi, relaxing against the wall. The Uchiha seemed unfazed by this, merely glancing at the arm, before looking at Hidan and slightly moved his head down, to signal Kisame was right.

"And what about you Hida-san? Why're you alone?" Tobi asked cheerfully.

"Yeah, where's the husband? You guys get into a fight?" Kisame said jokingly, smirking.

Hidan turned a deep shade of red, ducking himself under the water to where only his nose and above were visible. At once the group of missing nin perked up, blinking at the man's strange reaction. It being strange since he didn't scream and pick up the nearest rock and throw it at them.

Deidara was the first to speak after the awkward silence, "..So...wait...are you saying that you and Kakuzu are...you know...?" The blonde haired man said slowly, making random vague hand gestures.

At once Hidan's eyes widened, popping out of the water swiftly to point at the ex-earth nin in anger, " WE ARE NOT YOU STUPID FUCKER! KAKUZU'S JUST AN ASS! IT WAS HIS IDEA TO POSE AS A FUCKING MARRIED COUPLE! THE STUPID SNAKE DRAG QUEEN'S IDEA TO PRETEND! IT WAS KAKUZU AGAIN FOR FUCKING WITH MY HEAD! I JUST- WE- GAH! " He finished angrily, blushing and kicking down the nearby rock wall.

His co-workers watched his outburst silently, an even more awkward silence following as Hidan panted, staring at the demolished structure.

"Hey uh..Tobi..Let's go get a beer. "Kisame said, standing up abruptly.

"But Kisa-kun, Tobi doesn't like beer-" The shark merely grabbed Tobi's arm, dragging him out of the spring with him and towards the entrance.

"Then uh..I'll buy you cake or something, come on." He yanked Tobi inside, listening to man happily babble, "Ooh Tobi likes cake! His favorite kind is chocolaaatteee..and um...vanillaaa...and.." Their voices mainly Tobi's faded away, leaving the three men in silence.

Deidara had a frown on his features, glancing at Hidan's back and then looking at Itachi, before returning his gaze to the pale monk. He slowly stood up, letting out a loud sigh, "C'mon Hidan...let's get out of here." Deidara walked over to Hidan, reaching over and touching Hidan's elbow as if said man was on fire, a grimace on his face. He didn't really like the monk, but he didn't exactly hate him either. The bastard was just hard to deal with.

Hidan turned around and glared at him, a slight pout on his features, "Where the hell are we going?" He let the man lead him out of the hot springs to the locker room, Itachi at his other side.

"To my room." The Uchiha said quietly, nearly startling Hidan that the man had spoken at all. Usually he just stayed quiet and stared at Hidan til he left him alone. Which really worked cause the bastard scared the shit out of him.

"Your room?...But...Oh god. Oh god. "Hidan began to panic, pulling on his hand. At this Deidara bristled, turning around with a horrified expression on his face.

"NOT FOR THAT UN! UGH!" Deidara shivered with disgust. "I wouldn't do that with Itachi..let alone you. No offense Itachi, un." The bomber added quickly, surprising the immortal nin.

'Whoa...Deidara apologizing?...Did Hell freeze over?' He stared at them with even more confused eyes, pulling his hand away slowly, "I gotta go to my locker...I'll meet you guys at the door." The two men nodded at him, heading off to their lockers as he walked over to his.

'This day couldn't get any fucking weirder..' He mused, putting on his yukata and walking over to the door where the other two were waiting. Hidan stared at them skeptically, a frown set on his face.

Deidara 'Tch'ed and rolled his eyes, turning around and walking off with Itachi in tow. Hidan followed slowly, still unsure of this whole situation, and glanced around to check for any traps his teammates could have set up for him.

-- --

Okay, turns out he had nothing to worry about. They really were at the Uchiha's room, about the same size as his own room and Kakuzu's, but on the other side of the hotel that overlooked the city. Hidan's ungelled bangs fell in his face, slightly shielding curious violet eyes as he looked around the room.

Another contrast in their room and this one was that Kakuzu and Hidan's was already messy...like...seriously messy. He didn't even know how it got that way. But the Uchiha's room was..too clean. 'How the hell could he even sleep here at all? I mean..especially with a guy like Kisame. The man's like..a fucking tank. There's no way in hell he sleeps here.'

He was brought out of his thoughts when a cup of warm tea was set in front of him, an elegant hand connected to it. His eyes swiftly traced up the arm to the stoic Uchiha's face.

"Jasmine." Itachi said softly, pouring Deidara a cup as well. The blonde grumbled a thank you, before looking up at the ceiling and sipping some, leaning back on one hand. The bastard looked at ease, like this was something he did often.

Hidan picked up his tea, sniffing it briefly before taking a nervous sip. He wasn't much of a tea guy, but damn this was good! The monk eagerly gulped the rest down, much to the amusement of the other two men in the room.

"Enjoy the tea Hidan?" Itachi asked with a small quirk of his lips. Deidara was grinning from ear to ear at the Uchiha's subtle joke, setting his own cup down half-empty.

Hidan set the cup down swiftly, glaring them both down as he whiped his mouth on his sleeve.

They all stared at each other awkwardly for a few minutes before Hidan broke the silence, " So..Why the hell am I here? And why the fuck are you guys so fucking close? You banging each other?"

At this Deidara choked on the tea he was just bringing to his lips, setting his cup down and coughing. Itachi stared at him silently, a frown on his features.

"No Hidan..but thank you for phrasing it so delicately." The Uchiha said with a slight hint of sarcasm, pouring Hidan more tea. Hidan 'tch'd taking a brief sip before setting it down.

"Well it's true. You guys usually get along as well as two wet cats trapped in a bag. "

Hidan had to grin at this image, leaning on the table to take turns glancing at either of them, "Well? What's up?"

Deidara let out a loud sigh, looking down at his tea cup and tracing the top of it with his finger, " Yeah, it's true me and Itachi usually hate each other. Or mainly me hating Itachi for what he did to me in the past." At this Deidara shot Itachi a dirty look, which the Uchiha pointedly ignored, sipping his tea, "But me and him have found common ground un. And as much of a cliché as it sounds, we gradually...albeit a bit painfully realized we had more things in common than we realized un." The bomber tapped the cup slightly, raising his eyes in a lazy way, a smirk on his features.

Hidan frowned, "Well duh we all have common ground. We're all in the same organization." Hidan said staring at them with a raised eyebrow, " What could you have shared that would have brought you two together?"

Deidara turned his stare towards the only silent member of this conversation, Hidan following his eyes as well. Itachi was quiet, taking his time to set down his tea cup and raise his face, moving his eyes over to stare at Hidan. This was another thing the monk found unnerving about the Uchiha, the fact that when his sharingan wasn't activated his eyes were even more intense than they usually were...wait..not activated?

'Damn', he thought, ' they must have found one hell of a common ground.'

"Deidara and I have a certain lifestyle that...well..we each accidentally discovered we had." Itachi's eyes bored into his, causing the jashin worshipper to squirm slightly, avoiding his eyes every so often.

Hidan leaned back, nervously grinning at them, " What? Are you guys gay or something?" He chuckled, blinking when no laughter followed with his. Violet eyes glanced back and forth between them, widening, "Sweet Jashin! You are?! I knew you were too pretty to be straight!" He said, staring at Itachi.

The black haired boy's lips quirked, signaling he found that humorous, but Deidara only sighed slightly, " Yeah Hidan, we're gay. But that's not the common ground we share un." He frowned at him.

"Well damn, what is it then?" White eyebrows furrowed together.

Deidara muttered something, glaring to the side as the color on his cheeks came to life.

Hidan blinked, "What?"

Deidara muttered something a bit louder, but Hidan didn't catch it, a frown setting on his features, "Damnit Deidara! What the fuck could it be that-"

"Me and Tobi are together!" He blurted out, glaring at his co-worker. The earth-nin's face turned brighter, glaring off to the side once again and crossing his arms across his chest.

"And I with Kisame." Itachi said with his soft voice, picking his tea cup up and sipping it.

Hidan went quiet, a huge feat for anybody, and sat there with his mouth hanging open. Everyone sat there a few moments in silence, no one really having anything to say.

Eventually the monk found his voice box again, swallowing lightly, "...So...why am I here?...You gonna abduct me into your gay cult or something?"

Deidara's eyes widened and Itachi stood, swiftly leaving the room.

A second later a loud voice could be heard yelling, "KATSU!" followed by a screaming pale man being thrown out a window by the force of a explosion.

-- --

I AM SO SORRY YOU GUYS! Once again I fail to update as soon as I said I would -sighs- Please please please forgive me. -bows-

And no, this chapter isn't a filler, it's actually important to other stories I will write in the future. And yes, the smut will come the chapter after next I believe. I promise that. -grin-

So give me your input! Do you like Hidan/Itachi/Deidara's interactions? I tried to make them as in character as possible, I've never written them before though so I promise to improve by next chapter...which I hope will come eventually.

Until then!