The thing with desperation is that you don't think, and I didn't. I badly wanted my light back, the warmth, that I didn't think off the consequences. All of the light and warmth that had refilled me, dissipated when I realised there was something growing inside of me. It broke my heart, how could I tell James that he would be a father? I wasn't ready to be a mother. I was an unmarried 18 year old fighting in a war that had lost meaning, for people who despised me. All of the light and beauty had gone out of the world, and not even James' touch could warm me, neither did the night sky comfort me.
The tears started to fall rapidly down my face as I sank to the floor. All I could hear was a baby screaming in my head. It constant sound echoing in my head, telling me that it was all over. My life had been forfeited. When James found me later, I was a mess. I barley got out the joyful news. The storm clouds seemed to be growing more ferocious. I didn't think I would ever see the peaceful light again. I didn't want the thing; I wanted it out, out of me. James just held me, promising me the world and more. He promised to keep our baby safe. That life would be better, we would be together. He was just as scared as I was but trying to be strong. The fear in his eyes gave him away, and even his proposal and ring couldn't shake the despair in my core. When I promised myself to him, becoming his wife, the world suddenly made sense. There was no Voldemort, nor war. Not even a baby. It was just him and I, our love, and it would all be okay. Even the ever growing threat of motherhood couldn't drag me down that day. I was free, bathing in the warm glow of James and my heart filled freely with joy. It was beyond describing, and for a while I was Happy again.
It didn't last; as soon as the contractions ripped through my body, I was back down in the darkness. All was ready for its arrival; the nursery was done in the new house in Gordric Hollow. It was for our safety that we moved there, but it was a cadge, ever growing smaller. All the preparation for the arrival went out the window as soon as the pain started to really heat up. But as soon as it started, it stopped and he was born. I knew I loved him as soon as I heard his cry. His perfect face came into view, and I was blinded by the godly light that came from him. The darkness fled from him, when I held him there was no world just James, I and our baby, our son. Our, Harry.
The cadge was acceptable now, I even manage to make friends with Batty. Anything would have been tolerated if meant Harry would live. He grew so quickly, soon he was crawling and flying, giving me daily heart attacks. The fear in James eyes was still there, but it held a defiant edge. I could read its word promising to protect Harry; even it meant his own life. I felt the same.
The real threat to his life came with the dammed prophesy. His godly glow seemed to be chocked by the darkness. It seemed so close; chocking any light and taking my happiness like a dementor, we couldn't fight, only hide. I found out it was him that condemned by son. He passed along the information that sealed his fate, and mine. From then on I promised to fight the darkness. I wouldn't depend on the light of others; I would find the light within me. Nothing was going to harm Harry. If the night sky, had to flee from the sun like when day breaks, then so be it. I would be strong for him. I would shine.