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Chapter 9 – Elven pride

Third Age 2560

"It was hubris, Erestor, nothing more, nothing less." Eruanna argued.

The lore master mused on his student's passionate rebuttal. Eruanna could become quite forceful with her opinions at times. It was Erestor's job to see that her passion was tempered by wisdom, the wisdom that came from intense study and the shared experience of her elders. "Explain."

"He believed himself to be above the wisdom of the Valar, above Manwë and Yavanna. If he had heeded Yavanna's words the trees would have been restored and the Noldor would not have followed him to their doom."

Erestor thought long on her answer before prodding her further. "So, you believe an edhel can be other than the way Ilúvatar made him?"

Eruanna raised a brow at Erestor's new angle of attack. No matter how hard she studied for one of her teacher's exams he would always ask her some ridiculous question to throw her off balance. It had taken a few years but she'd learned to play her teacher's game. She answered his question with another. "You blame Ilúvatar for his pride?"

"No, not for his pride, but the great creator blessed him with many gifts, perhaps too many for a single ellon to possess." Erestor had long wondered if that were true as he'd never known an ellon that rivaled even the faintest memory of the great Noldo.

Eruanna shook her head emphatically. "All you are doing is making excuses for him. His talents would have come to naught had not the Valar taught him, and if Mahtan had not apprenticed him, the silmarils may have never been wrought."

"You think not?" Erestor challenged.

Eruanna refused to back down. "I said so, didn't I?"

Erestor folded his hands. He knew that his pupil would not be swayed from her position. "So you believe you understand him?"

Eruanna shook her head. If there was one thing she was certain of it was that she did not understand any part of this tale. It upset her greatly. "On the contrary, I understand nothing about him, not the hate in his heart or the avarice of his soul. That he would take the light of the trees fashioned for all in Aman to behold, and hoard it away as if it belonged to him alone. I understand none of it."

Erestor smiled at his young pupil. He could sense that their discussion had upset her, though she hid her emotions well. "You are pure of heart, Eruanna, a true daughter of the Teleri. The elves of Alqualondë would no doubt have agreed with your description of Fëanor, ere he came to their city and slew them."

The elf Lord placed a reassuring hand on the young one's shoulder and she instinctively recoiled from his touch. Erestor withdrew the hand quickly, having momentarily forgotten himself.

Eruanna shrank at the unexpected contact, but quickly regained her composure. She felt her neck flush from embarrassment. Eruanna tried hard these last several years to control her response to physical contact but she was not always successful. She feared she'd offended Erestor by her response to his kind gesture. Her eyes fell to the floor. "Sorry."

Erestor waved her apology away. "Do not worry yourself." He glanced out the window. "It grows late and I believe we are done for the day. We will soon hear the ringing of the dinner bell." Erestor proceeded to collect the books and scrolls spread across the large table.

Eruanna remained in her seat studying Lord Erestor for a moment before finding courage enough to question him. "Are all Teleri such poor students of lore?"

Erestor did not know from where this question arose. "What mean you?"

Eruanna sighed. After so many hours spent studying the histories of Fëanor, she had not performed as well as she'd hoped. "I have not performed as well as I should. I did not have the answers you sought."

Erestor sat himself on the edge of the table, facing Eruanna. She believed she'd disappointed him and he was quick to dispel her doubts. Erestor responded to her statement with deepest sincerity. "You performed better in this oral than any student I have before instructed." Erestor watched the child's eyes widen in disbelief at his proclamation. He shook his head. "Only Ilúvatar knows for certain what dwelled in Fëanor's heart. That you know the limits of your understanding is good. You have done well."

Eruanna was speechless. Never before had any given her such praise. She bowed her head, "Thank you, Lord Erestor."

Erestor nearly reached out to the child once more before catching himself. "Now, you are dismissed. Take some rest before dinner."

Eruanna stood, nodded to her teacher and left the library behind. She headed to the gardens, eager to share with the trees and sparrows her great success.

Lord Glorfindel arrived at the library in search of Erestor. He saw the ellon in his usual spot, clearing a pile of books off the table. His friend's expression was troubled. Glorfindel sidled up to the other ellon, opening one of the books Erestor had not yet replaced on the shelf.

"Lessons over for the day?" Glorfindel watched his friend silently reshelve the books. Erestor seemed preoccupied and did not answer his question.

"What is wrong my friend?" Glorfindel implored. Erestor merely shook his head but his friend would have none of it. Glorfindel grabbed the ellon's shoulder and pushed him down into a chair. "Sit down."

Erestor growled at the ellon who had just shoved him unceremoniously into a chair. The look Erestor gave his companion told him he'd do well not to seat Erestor again. The expression must have amused Glorfindel, for the ellon laughed at him. Glorfindel repeated his question before the counselor had the chance to snap at the seneschal.

"What is wrong?" Glorfindel was now truly concerned about his old friend. Erestor was a wise scholar and counselor, true, but he'd once been a great warrior. Under normal circumstances Erestor would not have been so easily outmaneuvered, even by the great Balrog Slayer.

Erestor turned his face to the large window. He watched Eruanna head down the path towards the garden. A tired sigh escaped him. "It is the child."

Glorfindel's eyes smiled. "Did she not perform well on your exam?" Erestor always blamed himself if his students performed poorly.

Erestor shook his head. If only it were that simple. "On the contrary, she is very bright. I have not had so great a student in a very long time."

Glorfindel was surprised by Erestor's praise. Not that he doubted the peredhel's abilities. After all, Elrond was one of the wisest and most learned beings in Middle Earth. It was Erestor that surprised him. The old ellon did not give praise freely. It took a long time for one to prove worthy of the counselor's esteem. And if Erestor acknowledged her talents so casually, they must be great indeed. "If it is not her academic achievements that distress you, then what has?"

"I have been working with her for several years and yet…" Erestor had a difficult time finding the right words. "She is so…fearful. I don't understand it. I have given her no reason to be afraid of me. I learned early on in our time together not to sit too close to her or touch her but it is so unnatural. Sometimes I forget myself."

Glorfindel remembered his encounter with the young one in the garden. He understood his friend's confusion well. Glorfindel felt a twinge of guilt at not having asked after the elleth since that strange encounter. He'd left the puzzling out of her disturbing behavior to Arwen and her father. The speed and ease with which she'd integrated into the household had lulled him into believing all was well. It made him wonder why Erestor would be troubled by her behavior now. "What brought this up?"

Erestor adjusted the hem of his sleeve, smoothing out the wrinkles on the cloth. He rubbed the fingers of his hand together, the hand he'd placed on Eruanna's shoulder. "I wished to assure her she'd done well. I placed my hand on her shoulder and she withdrew as if burned. After, she would not meet my eyes and apologized as if she'd done wrong. I have heard others speak of similar incidents. They think it just another one of her peculiarities..." The counselor's words trailed off.

Glorfindel shook his head. It upset him to know the child suffered such fear still. As he'd suspected by her reaction to him in the garden, there was more to it then being startled from a dream.

Erestor watched his friend's thoughts turn inward. A flurry of emotions could be seen in the ellon's eyes. Erestor's curiosity piqued. "Do you know something of this?"

A sad expression clouded Glorfindel's handsome face. "I told this to no one but Arwen." He folded his arms across his chest and related an abbreviated version of his encounter with Eruanna. "When she first came to Imladris, the day her grandfather returned to Mirkwood, the child fell asleep in the garden. I woke her. Her reaction was not what one would expect from a young child." He stopped there not knowing how best to explain.

Erestor wore an unguarded expression on his face. "What do you mean?"

Glorfindel caught his friend's eyes, willing him to understand his words. "She was afraid of me, Erestor, she was afraid I would harm her."

Erestor stilled a moment at the nuance of his friend's statement. He shook his head, disbelief in his heart and on his face. "How could she think that?"

Glorfindel looked away from his friend. It was a question he'd pondered that same night. "You are a clever ellon, mellon nin. Did you never wonder why her grandfather left her in Elrond's care, why she left Mirkwood?"

Erestor felt shame hit him hard. The truth was he'd not thought on it much at all. He'd merely assumed her grandparents thought the Peredhel a more appropriate guardian and teacher than they. He'd not stopped to consider anything else. "You cannot believe that someone hurt her. Eruanna was raised in Mirkwood, by elves."

Glorfindel picked up a book that lay near him on the table. He opened it to a harrowing illustration of Dior slain, of Doriath laid to ruin. "You of all people should know what an edhel is capable of, if there be enough hate in his heart."

Erestor raised a hand to his face. A troubled gesture he'd long ago learned to suppress while in councils and war room meetings. This time he could not hold back the motion. "I hear your words, but they are difficult to believe." Difficult, try impossible! How could anyone bring harm to that dear, sweet child?

Erestor knew he was himself guilty of believing Eruanna odd when they first met, but now he could not imagine his afternoons without her. "I admit to finding the child strange when first she arrived in Imladris, but never did I feel any violence toward her, nor can I imagine how any other could do so."

Glorfindel's mind drifted back to his first and only trip to Mirkwood in the company of the young Lords of Imladris. The reception the sons of Elrond received was less than cordial. "She was raised among elves who distrust Elrond. The one and only time Elladan, Elrohir and I traveled there they were not exactly welcomed with open arms. Whispers of suspicion followed us everywhere. And they are Lords, the children of Celebrian, of Galadriel and Celeborn. I fear to imagine how an orphaned peredhel of common birth would be treated in such a place."

Erestor took his friend's words to heart. He peered out the window. Eruanna had disappeared into the garden, her second favorite place after the library. He hoped that whatever experiences plagued her would cease their torment, that her fear would fade away, and that one day she would find peace.