Disclaimer: I own nothing but the OC's and the plot, everything else belongs to Tolkien and those who currently own the rights to his work.

Chapter 12 – Fading

Third Age 2617

Eruanna's melancholy did not pass in the weeks following her grandparent's departure. She found herself unable to enjoy the simple pleasures in life that had, in the past, been a source of joy and contentment; the singing of the birds, the smell of a fresh spring rain, the sight of Ithil shining down upon the valley. Eruanna could find no joy in the natural beauty of the Earth and her books, which had once been a source of great pleasure and illumination, became an impenetrable maze of dead ends.

Elrond entered the library in search of Erestor. What he found upon entering brought him to a sudden halt. The room was in disarray; stacks of books lay on tables, spilling over onto the floor. In the midst of the chaos sat Eruanna. She had a book in her hand and flipped quickly through its pages. Reaching the final page she slammed the book shut and dropped it carelessly on a pile at her side.

"Erestor would be most upset if he witnessed your treatment of his works." Elrond called across the room causing Eruanna's head to turn swiftly in his direction.

Eruanna turned her head to the doorway, surprised by the unexpected presence, "Lord Elrond, I did not hear you come in."

"You seemed to be otherwise occupied." Elrond moved to Eruanna's side. He lifted a stack of books from one of the chairs and placed it on the table, seating himself in the now empty chair. "I thought Erestor gave you the week off."

Eruanna looked guiltily about the room, noticing the great mess she'd made for the first time all day. "He did," she responded. "He said I was…distracted."

"I see." Elrond looked about the room. It looked like a tornado had passed through it. Eruanna's dark humor had become like a cloud hanging over Elrond's house. None had been able to raise her spirits and most assumed it was her grandparent's departure that had caused her depression. Elrond was not so sure.

Elrond turned his attention to the individual books scattered around the room. They were all written in Quenya- tales of Valinor and the First Age. "Are you looking for something in particular, Eruanna, perhaps I can help you find it?"

Elrond hoped that would be the case, otherwise he'd need to find a way to keep his high counselor away from this wing of the house. "Erestor's hair will curl if he sees what you've done to the library."

Eruanna shook her head. "It is nothing. I need no assistance."

Elrond studied the young elleth carefully. "If it were nothing, this room would not look as it does." When all the elleth did was shrug, he pressed further. "Tell me what you search for."

Eruanna met the elf Lord's grey eyes. Tiny lines could be seen at their edges. She wondered briefly if her eyes would look the same in years to come. The intensity of Elrond's attention discomfited Eruanna. She'd avoided many well-meaning questioners these past few weeks, but she could not lie to Elrond. A tired sigh escaped her before she answered. "Stories…about the Undying Lands."

Elrond thought as much. He waited, but Eruanna failed to elaborate. "Do you search for any stories in particular?"

Eruanna rested her hand on a large open tome. It contained the portrait of a beautiful elleth, with long ebony hair.

Elrond recognized the elleth in the illustration by the manner in which she was depicted, sitting before a loom, weaving. "Míriel?" The Lord's eyebrow rose in interest. "Why do you seek her out?"

Eruanna hesitated to answer but the concern in Elrond's eyes moved her. She found herself wishing to speak with someone of her thoughts, kept quiet these many weeks. "She faded, in Valinor."

"She did." Elrond was well aware of the fate of Fëanor's mother, having read the same tales as she when he was a young ellon. Still, he was unclear exactly why this tale had such a disturbing effect on the elleth in his care. He decided simply to let her speak; hoping she would open up to him as she did.

After a long silence, Eruanna found the strength to continue. She kept the despair born from the depths of her soul well hidden. "Lord Glorfindel told me that all hurts were healed in Valinor."

Elrond nodded, he'd heard the same words spoken all his life by those who'd seen the Blessed Realm. "So I am told."

Eruanna shook her head. "It is a lie. If that were so, she would not have faded," she stated with finality.

Elrond conceded the wisdom of her logic but having no firsthand knowledge of Valinor or of the circumstances surrounding Míriel's passing, he did not know for sure. "You may be correct." Elrond waited patiently for Eruanna to continue. He knew there was more on her mind than simply Míriel's death.

"My mother faded after I was born." Eruanna explained with seeming detachment.

Elrond nodded. He'd learned the story surrounding Eruanna's birth prior to her arrival in Rivendell. "Your grandfather wrote to me of his daughter's passing." Eruanna's gaze drifted out the large library window overlooking the garden. Her face was serene, as one who'd accepted the will of fate. The lack of emotion in her eyes disturbed him greatly. "What is it that troubles you, Eruanna? Tell me."

Eruanna did not look at the Lord when the questions she'd pondered silently these past few weeks escaped her lips. "What if I remind my mother of the adan who hurt her and she fades again? What if I sail west, and in so doing, carry her torment to the Undying Lands?"

"Oh, Eruanna…." Elrond searched the long years of his life for words of comfort to offer the elleth at his side. Eruanna had become as dear to him as his beloved children and Elrond could not imagine that her presence could bring another pain. Elrond thought on Irimë and the long months she held on to life in order to give birth to her daughter. Elrond had been a healer for many ages; he knew a will that strong was rare.

Elrond took Eruanna's chin in hand and turned her face to his. He prayed that her heart would hearken to his words. "Your mother clung to this world long enough to give you life. You would not be here now had she not felt a great and powerful love for you."

The sincerity in her guardian's eyes gave Eruanna the smallest glimmer of hope that such was possible, that her mother had truly loved her before her spirit left this world.

Elrond placed a reassuring hand on the one Eruanna had resting on Míriel's portrait. "Come, child. I'll assist you in returning the library to order before the sight sends Erestor straight to Mandos."

A small smile lifted the edge of Eruanna's mouth and the pair set to work. Eruanna returned Míriel's story to its proper place on the shelf but she could not erase it from her mind. Nor could she erase the guilt she felt for her mother's death and the knowledge that should she sail, her mother's torment may travel with her into the west.