Disclaimer: I own nothing but the OC's and the plot, everything else belongs to Tolkien and those who currently own the rights to his work.

Chapter 14 – A Mercurial Spirit

Third Age 2700

It was ten years since Elladan and Elrohir had last visited their father's house. Eruanna rarely saw or spoke with them, as their stays were always brief and they spent most of their time with their father and sister or resting in their rooms. The twins were mysterious and shadowy figures to Eruanna's mind. The tales they'd tell of slaughtering the orcs of the Misty Mountains chilled her bones and brought forth terrible images in her mind. And so Eruanna did her best to avoid them whenever they came to Imladris in search of rest. It was not difficult. The brothers did not frequent the gardens and she'd encountered Elrohir in the library only once.

Eruanna hid in the shadow of a large pillar across from Elrond's study. She'd heard raised voices from afar but could not make out the words from such a distance. And so she crept closer, keeping out of sight, and yet close enough to hear at least some of what was spoken. Even this close to the door Eruanna could not make out everything that the twin Lords said, but the anger in their voices was clear. Of what she could hear, this is how it went…

"…must be mad...letting them go…"

"…not stand for it…"

"…wish us to fade!"

"…still a child…"

"YOU ARE NOT GOING!"

At this last cry the door flew open and an infuriated Elrohir burst forth into the hall. He passed Eruanna's hiding place in a blind rage and stampeded down the stairs, out of the house and down the garden path. Eruanna might have been mistaken, but she swore she'd seen tears in his eyes.

Arwen's voice could be heard through the now open door. "Elladan, please listen to me!"

Elrond appeared in the doorway of his study, glancing up and down the hallway in search of his son. He did not find Elrohir but spotted Eruanna, hiding behind a stone pillar. She wore a nervous expression and had obviously heard his son's outburst.

"Did you see him?" Elrond whispered quietly to the elleth who'd not yet emerged from the shadows.

Eruanna felt guilty for having eavesdropped on her guardian's private conversation. "Yes," she turned her face to the steps before adding as an afterthought, "He was very upset."

Elrond was torn between continuing the somewhat reasonable conversation he was having with Elladan and chasing down an incensed Elrohir. His indecision must have shown for Eruanna offered him a third option.

"Do you wish me to find him?" Eruanna could not believe she'd just suggested such a thing. She had no desire to get in the middle of their argument, especially after witnessing first hand the emotional state of the young Lord. Perhaps it was the tears in his eyes that prompted her to make the offer.

Elrond studied the elleth for a moment. He felt a tinge of guilt for considering sending Eruanna after his son. Elrohir had quite a temper and he did not wish for his son to take his anger out on Eruanna. On the other hand, if there was any member of the house his son was least likely to show his temper to, it was the elleth before him. "Go and find him. Tell him I would like to speak with him, when he's ready."

Eruanna nodded and headed for the steps. She was almost to the stairway when she heard Elrond's voice echo down the hall.

"Thank you, Eruanna."

Eruanna studied the path carefully; at last putting Lord Glorfindel's training to practical use. It was not easy finding Lord Elrohir's tracks and she lost the trail several times before finding it again. Were it not for the ellon's distress she would not have been able to track him at all. After what felt like hours of searching Eruanna spotted a dark haired ellon alone under a shade tree. He sat on the ground his knees drawn up, his arms covering his bowed head. Eruanna approached Elrohir steadily and sat down a few feet to his left.

Eruanna did not speak immediately, unsure at first of what to say. Elrohir's breathing was shaky, uneven, but steadied as they sat together in silence. She knew he was aware of her presence though he had not yet acknowledged her. She played absently with the grass beneath her hands until Elrohir regained his composure.

The ellon dried his eyes with his sleeve, and drawing in a deep breath, he turned his face to Eruanna. She gave the Lord a shy smile and said the first thing that came to her mind, "Glorfindel will be pleased that his training has not been in vain."

If he'd been anticipating a conversation with the young elleth, this was not how Elrohir would have expected it to begin. "What training?" he asked without thinking.

Eruanna placed the blade of grass that she now held between her fingers gently on the ground beside her. "He's been teaching me tracking of late. I've not yet had a chance to try out what I've learned, though I admit, if you'd not been in such a state, I don't think I'd have been able to find you. I lost your trail several times along the way."

Elrohir gave the elleth a guilty smile, "I must remember next time to keep my emotions in check or it may be an orc that comes upon me unnoticed instead of a lovely elleth."

Eruanna blushed at the Lord's words. He called her lovely. Eruanna's eyes passed over Lord Elrond's younger son, who in voice and appearance was much like the elder but who, unlike Elladan, had a mercurial spirit and was given to passionate displays. Elrohir's anger appeared to have lessened since he'd left his father's study but there was a lingering sadness in his eyes and his face yet bore the stains of the tears he'd shed. It made Eruanna uncomfortable. She'd seen her grandfather cry a few times but she'd never been called upon to comfort him. She could think of no words to ease Elrohir's pain and knew not how to begin.

"You love her very much." Eruanna said at last.

Elrohir was unprepared for the sudden shift in conversation. It was not a question she'd spoken but a statement, one that Elrohir could hardly deny. He loved Arwen, and the memory of his harsh words to her brought a wave of guilt crashing over him. "She is my baby sister. I still remember the day she was born. Elladan and I fought for hours over who would be the first to hold her." Elrohir's eyes strayed absently across the small glade. He was lost in memories of younger, happier days.

"Who won?" Eruanna's voice held much amusement.

Elrohir's smile broadened, "I did, of course. We decided to settle it with a wrestling match and I have always been more skilled than Elladan in hand fighting. I pinned him in under two minutes."

Eruanna laughed at the image that formed in her head of Celebrían in the birthing rooms, her sons outside in the hall, rolling on the floor for the privilege of being the first to hold their new sister.

The sound of the young elleth's laughter brought some lightness to Elrohir's heart. She turned smiling eyes on him and he could not help but share in her mirth.

As he continued studying the young one her expression grew serious. A shadow fell on her fair face and he feared that he'd been its cause. Elrohir was about to break the silence that fell between them, but Eruanna's next question halted him, her words echoing the lamentations of his soul.

"It doesn't help, does it, when they tell you it wasn't your fault?" Eruanna asked gently, knowing full well the reason Arwen's brothers objected to her visiting Lórien.

It took Elrohir a moment to answer, "No, it does not." No matter how many times he'd heard those words from family and friends, not for a single moment had he believed them.

"Even when it is the truth," Eruanna added at last. She met his eyes once more and spoke words she knew the Lord had heard many times before but seemed fitting to repeat now.

"It was not your fault. How many parties of elves have passed unhindered over those mountains through the ages? No one could have known what would happen on that crossing, not even your grandmother or your father, with all their wisdom and foresight."

Elrohir listened silently to Eruanna's words. They held much truth in them, his mind whispered, but were impossible for his heart to accept.

Eruanna reached out a small hand and laid it atop Elrohir's. "You saved her, Lord Elrohir. She survived the orc dens. She did not fade. You saved her."

He shook his head, his words laced with despair. "But she had to sail."

Eruanna squeezed the ellon's hand. "You will see her again and if what they say is true, the light of the Valar will see her healed." She paused before adding as an afterthought, "There are no orcs in Valinor."

Elrohir turned his hand so he could hold her small one in his, thankful for her kind words even if his heart could not believe them. When he looked back up at the elleth he knew something was wrong. She was mutilating the flowers that grew at her feet. The last words she'd spoken echoed in his ears, they seemed as if they carried a deeper meaning, one that lay hidden to him. "Eruanna, what is wrong?"

"Nothing." Eruanna pulled her hand away from the Lord ignoring his question. "Your father wishes to speak with you when you are ready to do so." Eruanna made to rise but was stopped by a gentle hand on the hem of her sleeve.

"Do not hasten away." Eruanna looked back at him and she seemed reluctant to disobey. When the elleth settled back down Elrohir released his hold on her sleeve, slightly embarrassed that he'd grabbed at her so rudely. "You came to offer me comfort. I would do the same for you, if you will let me."

Eruanna shook her head. She did not wish to speak of such things with Elrond's son, for she knew him but a little. It was only that speaking of his mother had raised thoughts of Irimë, thoughts that had slumbered for many years. "It is nothing."

Elrohir raised a disbelieving brow at the young elleth, eying the ground before her. "Then you must have a great hatred for asphodel."

Eruanna looked down at the ruined flowers that lay scattered on the grass. She'd pulled them from the ground and they lay around her, dying. The sight of the fallen flowers made her shudder and she answered Elrohir's nearly forgotten question. "I killed my mother."

Eruanna's unexpected confession shocked Elrohir to his core. His father had spoken briefly with him and his brother about the young peredhel when she first arrived at their home. There was nothing in his father's story indicating that Eruanna had a hand in her mother's death. He wondered at her words, but said nothing as she continued unabated.

"My mother wandered too close to the River Running, out of sight of the wardens and her father. A man saw her dancing on the banks…he hurt her."

"Your adar." Elrohir whispered quietly.

Eruanna nodded, her thoughts on the faceless adan who'd fathered her. "She did not fade." Eruanna turned her head to face Elrohir. "Your father said it was her love for me that made her strong, strong enough to give me life- but her spirit abandoned this world soon after I was born. Sometimes I fear it was the sight of me that made her fade, that I reminded her of what happened on the river banks and she could not bear to look upon me."

Elrohir held his breath as the elleth fell silent. The words of comfort that first sprang to his mind choked him. It wasn't your fault. How often had he heard those words spoken by his father and sister, by Erestor and Glorfindel? How could he say them to her now?

"You wish to say it don't you?" Eruanna whispered, watching Elrohir closely as he battled to withhold the words she'd only just spoken.

"I do," Elrohir conceded and he took her hand in his once more.

A humorless laugh escaped Eruanna then and she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "You can say it if you want to. I said it to you."

"It's not your fault." He knew the words sounded as empty to her as they had to him, but he spoke them just the same.

Eruanna offered the young Lord a genuine smile. There were at least two halfelven children in Middle Earth that understood her pain. "Perhaps one day we will both believe those words."

"Perhaps." Elrohir let out a tired sigh before climbing to his feet. "I think it is time we returned to the house. I must apologize to Arwen and adar for my outburst." He offered Eruanna his hand. She took it and he pulled her to her feet.

Elrohir watched the elleth as she brushed off her skirt. He realized suddenly that this was the longest conversation he'd ever had with her in all the years she'd spent in his home. Moreover, it saddened him to know that the same intense pain he and his brother felt at their mother's departure was also known to the young one at his side. Elrohir offered the elleth his arm and they headed back to the house. "I still do not like the idea of the two of you crossing the mountains."

"Nor should you," Eruanna replied, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze, "but we cannot live our lives as captives to fear."

Elrohir stared down in amazement at the elleth on his arm. He'd listened to those same words from Arwen and his father, but somehow, they were easier to hear coming from the lips of one so young. "No, we cannot."