Disclaimer: I own nothing but the OC's and the plot, everything else belongs to Tolkien and those who currently own the rights to his work.
Chapter 15 – The Journey
Third Age 2700
Arwen and Eruanna spent the next few days deciding what they wished to take with them to Lothlórien. It was not too difficult a task as the elves, even the great and powerful, put little stock in material possessions-other than the great heirlooms of their houses. Eruanna decided to take the scarf her grandmother gave her before she sailed west, the weapons Glorfindel had gifted her with over her years of training, and the journal Erestor gave her for her last begetting day along with some clothing and other necessities. After the two ellith had finished Eruanna's packing they moved to Arwen's room to ready her things for the journey. The two ellith chatted away merrily for some time while Arwen held up each dress in her wardrobe for Eruanna to decide which she should bring. Eventually the conversation turned to details of the coming journey and from there to the source of much frustration for the Lady Arwen- her brothers.
"They behave as though I am going half way across the world," the Lady exclaimed, shaking her head at the thought of her brothers. "The journey is all of two weeks provided the passes are clear and we keep up a reasonable pace. I have made the same trip many times."
Eruanna smiled at the elleth who had played the role of mother, sister, and friend to her over the years. She sympathized with Arwen's frustration at being treated like a helpless elfling, but Eruanna also knew that her brothers' concern for her was not in the least bit unfounded. "You cannot blame them for their concern. It is born from their love for you."
Arwen continued folding her clothes and gave her young companion a smile. "It would seem I am doomed to have Elladan and Elrohir accompany me on every trip I wish to take."
Eruanna sat down on the Lady's bed, placing a hand on Arwen's arm. "It is small price to pay if it brings comfort to those who love you."
Eruanna envied Arwen her loving family. There were times when she'd seen Arwen, her brothers, and Lord Elrond sitting together in the Hall of Fire looking so happy and content with one another. It was in those moments that Eruanna felt very much alone. The sound of Arwen's voice brought Eruanna's attention back to her companion.
"Taking their side are you?" Arwen flashed Eruanna a wry grin.
"Of course she is," a deep male voice entered in the conversation unexpectedly.
"Elrohir." Arwen looked up from her bags to see her brothers standing in the doorway. "Come to spy on us, have you?"
"Spy?" Elladan gasped.
"Us?" Elrohir chimed.
Elladan shook his head at his sister, his jaw hanging open, feigning shock. "We're merely here to see if you ladies need assistance." He turned then to Eruanna and gave her a smile. "Good morning, Eruanna."
"Good morning," she said to both brothers.
"No assistance is needed. We are nearly done." Arwen replied as she placed the last item in her bag.
"Is this yours, Eruanna?" Elrohir had made his way across the room and held up a small sword that lay atop Eruanna's bags.
"Yes," Eruanna replied. "Lord Glorfindel gave it to me as a gift for my begetting day some fifty years ago."
Elrohir unsheathed the sword, studying it with a keen eye. He handed the blade off to Elladan who looked on it in surprise.
"Made by Hirgon, by the look of it." Elladan stared in awe at the beautifully crafted weapon. It was obvious the sword had been made for Eruanna by special request for it was small and bore an incantation that called on Eru to protect her. "There is no greater swordmaster in the realm. He was trained by Celebrimbor himself, one of the smiths of Eregion."
Elrohir huffed. "I don't recall Glorfindel ever giving either of us such an exquisite gift," he exclaimed, looking indignant.
"Perhaps that is because Eruanna never put ink in his tea," his sister offered.
Elrohir leaned against the window frame, arms crossed over his chest. "We can hardly be blamed if some careless scribe knocked a bottle of ink into Glorfindel's teapot."
"Really, our sister has such an imagination." Elladan whispered not too quietly in Eruanna's direction, the humor in his eyes causing the elleth a fit of laughter.
Elrohir took the sword from his brother and returning it to its scabbard, handed it back to Eruanna. "You had better keep this at your side during the journey," he told her with all seriousness.
"I will." Eruanna clutched her sword tightly; aware for the first time that she may actually be called upon to use it before they reached their destination.
Arwen tied the last strings of her pack together and looked about the room for anything she might have overlooked. She was ready. "Come now. It is time we were on our way."
"Ada," Arwen hugged her father tightly. She did not wish to cause him pain but Arwen would not allow what happened to her mother to alter the course of her life as it had her brothers. She would not let the mountains keep her from her kin or the beauty that was Lothlórien.
"I know it foolish to say be careful." Elrond embraced his daughter tightly, willing himself not to imagine that he could be holding her for the last time. He pulled back a little, taking her face in his hands, "Your brothers can be overbearing at times, but they love you."
"I know." A tear rolled down Arwen's cheek and she wiped it away quickly, not wanting her father to see her cry.
Elrond rested his forehead against his daughter's, working hard to hold back his own tears, and gave his child a single command. "If anything should happen during the crossing, stay behind your brothers and Glorfindel."
Arwen made as if to protest, but he continued before she could speak. "If not for your own sake, you must do so for Eruanna. She is still very young and has never had need to use sword or bow in combat. She will need you at her side."
Arwen stood silently for a moment, thinking over her father's words. She knew that Eruanna was not the only reason her father made this request, but his words were true all the same. No matter how much she might wish to charge in and mete out her own small measure of revenge on the orcs of the mountains, her first duty was to Eruanna. "I will look after her, ada, you needn't worry." She placed a kiss on her father's cheek, "I won't do anything foolish."
"I know." Elrond hugged her one last time before taking her arm in his and walking to Eruanna's side.
Eruanna saw Arwen and her father approaching. The pair gave Eruanna warm smiles but there was a touch of sadness in their eyes. "Lord Elrond." Eruanna bowed her head respectfully to her guardians.
"Are you ready?" Elrond looked over Eruanna's laden horse and noted the sword she wore at her side.
"I…I think so." Eruanna followed Elrond's gaze. Her things were all in order; it was her heart she hoped would be able to brave the mountains, now that she knew of the terrors that dwelt there.
Elrond pulled the young elleth into a warm embrace and placed a kiss on the top of her head. He'd spent so much time dealing with the prospect of Arwen leaving him he'd allowed himself to forget the other elleth that would be traveling with her. For a moment, Elrond considered telling Eruanna she could not go, that she was too young to leave her home. He could not, for he realized he did not wish her to stay out of concern for her welfare. Rather, it was a selfish desire to keep that which had taken him many thousands of years to find.
Understanding dawned on him then and for the first time Elrond knew in his heart how very important Eruanna had become to him. Painful memories rose to the surface of Elrond's thoughts. Words he'd spoken nearly two ages past to the last peredhel he'd ever known tore at his soul.
"Do not leave me. I don't want to be alone."
An echo of a voice, long departed, answered his plea, "You will never be alone, my brother, I am inside you, a piece of your heart, one you will carry with you to the end of days."
A piece of my heart…so many pieces, torn away...
Elrond took a step back from Eruanna and laid his hands on her shoulders. He had to let her go now or else Elrond knew he might never be able to part with her again. "Just stay close to my sons and to Glorfindel. They will see you safely to Lothlórien."
"I will," Eruanna promised. She sensed the urgency in Elrond's words and something in his ancient grey eyes and the intensity of his embrace told her that the elf Lord might not let her leave if she did not give her word.
"Namárië," he said to her and moved away to bid farewell to his sons.
"Ada," the twin Lords said in unison. Elrond embraced each of them in turn, whispering words unheard by the assembled company as he did so. Elrond loved his sons, and though on this particular occasion his thoughts lay heavily on the welfare of his daughter and Eruanna, it did not diminish the concern he felt for Elladan and Elrohir. Great warriors they were, but they were still his children and Elrond worried for them whenever they traveled afar.
"Watch over them," Elrond said at last to his sons who stood tall before him.
"We will," Elladan answered for both of them, though his words were unnecessary. Elladan and Elrohir would die for those they loved and they needed no oath to affirm this.
At last, Elrond reached the final member of the party that would be staying in Lórien for some time. "Farewell, my friend," Elrond clasped Erestor's arm in a warrior's embrace. "Take care of them, and yourself if you find the time."
Erestor laughed, "I'll do my best." He released his grip on his Lord's arm and gave him a small nod, his voice mocking serious. "Do try and keep the library in order while I'm away."
Elrond chuckled at his counselor's request, "I'll see what I can do. Namárië."
The party gathered themselves, twenty all told, Arwen and Eruanna, Glorfindel and Erestor, Elladan and Elrohir and fourteen other ellyn who wished to travel with the company and see their Lady safely to her grandparent's realm. They departed as the sun climbed toward its apex and Elrond watched them as they went and did not avert his gaze until they had disappeared from his sight.
The party reached the opening to the mountain pass several days later. Elladan and Elrohir had scouted the route prior to returning to Imladris and cleaned out several orc dens along the way. Two days into the mountains, the company sought refuge in a small cave that Elrohir assured them was safe and dry and would provide shelter for the evening. Eruanna and Arwen sat together a ways from the ellyn who gathered around the fire to hear the brothers tell of the orcs they'd slain in the very hollow in which they now sat.
Eruanna chewed her dinner slowly, her mind not really on her food. Her eyes darted around the small cave on the lookout for anything that might be amiss. Arwen noticed her unease and placed a hand on her shoulder drawing her attention away from the darkness. Arwen gave the young elleth a smile which Eruanna found difficult not to return.
"I do not remember being so afraid of the mountains when I passed over them with my grandfather," Eruanna admitted to the Lady.
Arwen smiled at her companion. "You were younger then and did not know of the dangers that lurk here."
Arwen's gaze swept around the cave, sentries had been placed around their encampment-nothing could approach them from inside or out without their knowledge. Arwen turned back to Eruanna who stared off toward the circle of ellyn. Elladan stood at the center gesturing wildly, reenacting some event that he and Elrohir were sharing with the wardens. Eruanna's expression darkened and she turned away from Elladan's display.
"What is the matter?" Arwen asked.
Eruanna looked down at her hands trying to block out the sounds of laughter coming from the circle. "The tales your brothers tell about their travels…." Eruanna shuddered.
Arwen waited for Eruanna to finish but when the elleth did not continue, Arwen pressed her. "What about them?"
Eruanna took a deep breath. "How do they live with the things they've done? I know orcs are terrible creatures but still…I do not think I could sleep at night." She did not think she could sleep tonight after the stories she'd heard the brothers tell.
A grave expression graced Arwen's fair face. She too cared little for her brothers' tales. "They have changed much since our mother passed into the west." Her voice held much sadness and Eruanna thought she could hear every bit of Arwen's 2,500 years in her voice. She gave the Lady's arm a comforting squeeze. Arwen laid a hand over Eruanna's, smiling back at the elleth before looking over at her brothers. "I pray that one day they will lay aside their guilt and be as they once were."
"Guilt is not an easy thing to put aside," Eruanna replied.
"I know." Arwen knew Eruanna had her own burdens of guilt that lay heavily on her. Elrohir told Arwen of the conversation he'd had with Eruanna in the garden. It hurt the Lady to know that the elleth carried such a burden. Arwen's silent contemplation was broken by the sound of Erestor's voice.
"And how are you this eve, my Ladies?" Erestor sat on the hard ground beside Eruanna.
"Well, Erestor," Arwen answered absently.
Eruanna merely shrugged. Erestor noted her solemn expression and threw Arwen a questioning glance.
Arwen caught the counselor's eyes and shook her head slightly. She looked off to the fire circle. Elrohir was now at its center, his sword drawn reenacting what looked to be a battle scene. "I should go monitor my brothers' storytelling. Their tales tend to get a bit exaggerated when I'm not around to call them on it."
Erestor laughed as he too watched the young Lord's performance. "Then you're just in time, when I left the circle your brothers had just been waylaid by 150 orcs."
Arwen rolled her eyes. "I'd better go see if I can talk them down to a more reasonable number." She gave Eruanna's hand a squeeze before standing and joining the ellyn by the fire.
"Good luck," Erestor called after Arwen as she made her way to the circle.
The old counselor looked now to Eruanna who sat quietly beside him. Erestor leaned against a large boulder, wrapping his arm around the elleth, covering her with his cloak. Eruanna rested her head on his chest and curled up at his side. "Do you not wish to join them?" he asked her finally.
"I do not care for their stories," Eruanna admitted quietly.
Erestor nodded, "Nor do I." They sat in silence together for some time but as Elladan's story grew louder and more animated, Erestor could feel Eruanna's tension increase. Before he could ask her what was wrong she said his name.
"Erestor?"
The word sounded like the beginning of a question. Erestor waited for Eruanna to continue but she said nothing more. "Yes, child? What is it?"
It took Eruanna a long time to find the courage to ask the question she'd been pondering and it was spoken quietly as if she perhaps hoped her teacher would not hear it. "What is it like, killing for the first time?"
Erestor's heart froze at the elleth's question. For a long time he could not find his voice. Of all the elves in Arda, why does she ask me this? These last words found their way past his lips. "Why do you ask me this?"
Eruanna heard the tension in Erestor's voice and did her best to answer him. "Lord Glorfindel has taught me how to protect myself with sword and bow, but he's never spoken about what it's like to take a life." Eruanna had wished to ask him many times before but she'd never found the right moment and as for Lady Arwen, this was not a question Eruanna felt comfortable asking her.
After a long drawn out silence Eruanna feared her teacher would not give her an answer or worse, that she had angered him with her question. "Erestor?"
"I don't know that I can answer your question, Eruanna," the ellon stated abruptly.
"Why?" Eruanna removed her head from Erestor's chest, looking her teacher in the eye. He'd never refused her when she'd asked him a question, though in Erestor's defense, she'd never before asked him anything so personal. Still, she was curious as to the reason for his refusal.
Erestor knew what brought this question to Eruanna's mind. He wanted to reassure her that should the worst happen, she would make Glorfindel proud. He answered Eruanna's unspoken question, leaving the one she'd voiced unanswered. "Should you have to kill an orc to protect yourself, I do not think you will hesitate. The instinct for survival is strong in all living things, you are no different."
Eruanna accepted that should she be called upon to fight, she would do so without hesitation and she was glad that Erestor also seemed to think her capable. But now, as she studied her teacher, her concern for him grew. His eyes seemed troubled and his gaze far away. Her question lay heavily upon him and Eruanna did not know why. She feared she'd hurt him with her query and since there was no going backward she pressed him once more. Elrond always told her speaking of things is less painful than keeping them locked inside. She figured such wisdom would hold true for the ancient ellon at her side as much as it did for her. "Why will you not answer my question, Erestor? Glorfindel told me you were once a warrior."
The sound of Eruanna's voice startled him out of reverie. He shook his head, his eyes looking all of their 6,000 years. "That was long ago," he replied, "in a different time."
Looking into those sad, ancient eyes a thought struck Eruanna that had never before occurred to her. In all of the years she'd spent studying under Erestor - absorbing his wisdom, reading his books, somehow, she'd never imagined that he had actually known the people in those stories, seen those ancient cities, fought in those battles….
It was as if Eruanna was seeing the ellon before her for the first time. He could not answer her question because it was not an orc he'd slain.
"It was an elf," she said at last.
Erestor's eyes shut tightly against Eruanna's words. There was no accusation in her tone but it mattered little. He could not bear to hear those words coming from her lips. Eruanna returned her head to his chest only this time she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Erestor could not remember the last time someone held him thus. He wrapped his arms around her as well. He knew that Eruanna had always found the kinslayings horrifying and he did not want his dear child to think him a monster.
"It was." Erestor's voice trembled at the memory, one he'd tried hard to bury deep within. Even after so many ages, thoughts of that terrible day still haunted him. "They came for the Silmaril. They came…and I fought." He closed his eyes; he could still see the blood of elves running into the Sirion, turning its clear waters red.
Eruanna deeply regretted her stupidity. She'd never considered what Erestor might have seen or done during the time he dwelt at the Mouths of Sirion. He'd told her long ago that he'd lived there with his parents after they'd fled Nargothrond, but somehow, she'd never imagined that young Erestor had witnessed the third kinslaying - let alone participated in it. She knew why he'd never told her. She'd been quite vocal about her abhorrence of those terrible events. But Erestor was not to blame for this…he was only protecting himself, his people.
"You had no choice, Erestor," she whispered.
Erestor knew that the battle was not his fault but he chose to pick up a sword, he chose to fight rather than flee and that choice haunted him all the days of his life. "I could not close my eyes for many years without seeing the faces of the elves I'd killed."
"How old were you?" Eruanna asked carefully, not wanting to push Erestor too far.
The counselor rested his chin on the top of the elleth's head. "Too young, younger than you are now."
"I cannot imagine," Eruanna shuddered, gripping Erestor tightly.
A single tear ran down the ellon's face. "And for that, I thank Ilúvatar."
The pair sat quietly for some time, taking comfort in each other's company. Eruanna watched the two brothers as they continued telling stories, Arwen at their side. The sight of Elrond's children sitting together brought another question to Eruanna's mind. "Did you know Elrond then?"
Erestor was startled by the sudden break in the silence. It took him a moment him to connect her question with an answer. "No," he said. "He was only a baby when I came to Sirion. I did not meet him until many years later in Lindon."
"Hmmm," Eruanna gazed up in wonder at the ancient ellon. "That's a long time to know someone."
Erestor agreed - it was a long time. "We have been friends for close to six thousand years. We have survived much together." A smile reached Erestor's eyes.
Eruanna saw the light return to Erestor's eyes for the first time since she'd asked that terrible question. She could not imagine having a friend for so many years and was glad that the two ellyn had had each other to pass the ages with. "Do you love him?" She asked without thinking.
It was strange, that question was not one Erestor had ever contemplated, and yet it was so easy for him to answer. "He is my Lord, my friend, my brother. Yes, I love him."
Eruanna had never heard Erestor speak so openly before. A memory of a conversation she'd once had with Glorfindel flashed in her mind. 'I think he wishes you were his child'. She looked up at the old ellon, fearing the answer to this next question more than any other she'd ever spoken. "Do you love me, Erestor?"
The fear in her voice had not escaped him. She was afraid he would say he did not. Erestor's breath caught in his throat and guilt swelled his heart, knowing he'd waited so long to tell Eruanna how much she meant to him. Erestor hugged the elleth tightly, willing his love for her to show through that embrace. "You are as a daughter to me," he whispered. "I have never loved anyone more."
"Do you mean that?" the hope in Eruanna's voice was undeniable.
Erestor took her chin in his hand and turned her face so he could see her eyes. "Have I ever lied to you, child?"
"No," Eruanna admitted softly, her eyes brimming with tears.
"And I never will."
They were nearing the end of their journey, the Dimrill Stair lay behind them and they walked along the River Celebrant ever nearer to the Golden Wood. The party was filled with much joy as the mountains fell away behind them and merry tales they shared with one another as they walked along the riverbank. Elladan and Elrohir provided the greatest share of the entertainment as the pair had a great gift for storytelling, though the veracity of their tales was questionable at times.
"…and then Glorfindel chased after us and somehow he ended up stepping in a springtrap that some careless elf had placed directly in our path." Elladan's voice rose in pitch and volume, making sure that the elf in question who walked at the rear of their company could hear his words clearly.
"And how was it that you missed the trap?" Eruanna asked with great amusement.
"Sheer luck, I assure you." Elladan's eyes swam with great mirth. "I must have been running with such a long stride that I stepped clean over it."
"And you?" Eruanna turned her attention to Elrohir, who had remained silent for most of the telling.
Elrohir smiled playfully at the elleth. "I took to the trees and raced away along the canopy."
Eruanna enjoyed the tale, whether it was true or not. Presently, a question came to her mind she'd not yet thought to ask. "So did he cut himself down?"
"Patience!" Elladan cried as though Eruanna was just about to ruin the very best part of the entire story.
Elrohir picked up where his brother left off and began explaining what occurred after Glorfindel found himself ensnared. "Well you see…we were so glad to have escaped him we sought him not until the dinner bell rang and we realized he had not returned from our little chase."
Elladan nodded dramatically. "We searched and searched and finally we found him hanging upside down in a tree."
A look of puzzlement appeared on Eruanna's face. "Why did he not cut himself down? Glorfindel always carries a hunting knife at his side and a dagger in his boot."
The two brothers shared a mischievous look before Elrohir answered her. "Well it just so happened that on that particular day Glorfindel misplaced his hunting knife."
"And his dagger," Elrohir added.
"Imagine that," Arwen shot her brothers a look of displeasure.
"I know, what are the chances?" Elrohir exclaimed, clearly puzzled as to how the great Balrog Slayer could have forgotten his arsenal.
"When my brothers are involved?" Arwen's comment was directed at Eruanna who worked desperately to keep her laughter from reaching Glorfindel's ears.
Elladan shot his sister an offended look. "You don't mean to imply that we were somehow involved in that mishap?"
"You wound us deeply," Elrohir added, raising a hand to his heart.
Eruanna could not contain her laughter any longer and she was forced to hold onto a tree for support. Glorfindel made his way to the front of the company. He stood at Eruanna's side and flashed the twins a look of displeasure.
"We are close now," Glorfindel announced, seeing the tree line of the Great Wood less than a mile in front of them.
Eruanna's laughter came to an abrupt halt as her eyes fell for the first time on Lothlórien, as she had not passed this way on her journey from Mirkwood. Eruanna could see the golden glimmer of the mallorn leaves and her heart began pounding nervously in her chest. She'd read much of the Golden Wood and heard many tales of its splendor. But still, it had taken Eruanna many years to feel safe in Elrond's house and a sliver of fear entered her heart at what might await her beneath those trees.
Elrohir took Eruanna's arm in his and led her forward as she'd seemed fixed to the spot. "Come, the Celebrant will lead us to our destination."
"And our welcome," Elladan added quietly.
"What does that mean?" Eruanna whispered in Elrohir's ear. She felt foolish asking aloud.
Elrohir leaned down so that his voice would not be heard by the others. "The elves of Lórien have a special way of greeting new arrivals."
"Oh," Eruanna exclaimed, "and what way is that?" No sooner had they entered the borders of Lórien then Eruanna had her answer.
"Daro!" a commanding voice rang out from the canopy above them and in moments the entire company was surrounded by hooded figures clad in shades of grey.