Disclaimer: I own nothing but the OC's and the plot, everything else belongs to Tolkien and those who currently own the rights to his work.
Chapter 41 – The gift of men
Third Age 2980 (29 years later)
The dream was lifted by the deep, steady thrumming of the water. Its rhythmic tones held the power to lull her tired mind to sleep and call her back to the waking world. Eruanna's mind came slowly back into focus. She could feel the soft blanket, a thin barrier between her body and the sand. The songs of courting birds joined the water's symphony. Life was all around her. She knew it without even opening her eyes. From nearby, a contented sigh entered into the music. The edges of her mouth curled into a smile. She could feel his gaze dancing across her face. It was oddly comforting, knowing he watched over her while she slept.
"Are you spying on me again?" she purred, lips curling into a smile.
The dozing elleth's unexpected question startled Rumil momentarily. The corners of his lips curled as he watched a smile spread across her face and her eyes flutter open. "How can you tell?"
Eruanna's smile broadened into a grin and her eyes sparkled with humor. "You make these odd little sounds when you watch me sleep."
"Do I?" Rumil sounded surprised. He did not recall making a sound.
"You do," Eruanna assured him.
"I cannot help it," he tugged at her hair playfully. "You look so beautiful when you're asleep."
"And when I'm awake?" Eruanna's brow arched, warning Rumil to choose his words wisely.
I walked right into that one, didn't I? Rumil mused, answering her challenge with a wry grin. "You are even more beautiful awake."
The air was still for several seconds before the two lovers burst into laughter. Eruanna inched closer to Rumil, where he sat reclining against the trunk of an ancient tree. She laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him.
"You are good," she laughed. He always did have the perfect answer for everything.
Rumil drew Eruanna into his arms and placed a kiss on the top of her head. He missed these quiet moments, sitting under the sun beside their waterfall. It brought such joy to his heart to hold her in his arms, and yet, in the midst of his mirth a shadow fell.
The road between Imladris and Lothlórien was perilous and each time Eruanna sent word that she was making the journey, part of him wanted her not to come. She'd nearly died once and the roads were even more dangerous now then they were a century ago.
Eruanna felt Rumil's body tense beneath her as the silence lengthened. She lifted her eyes to study his face. He looked troubled. "What is wrong?"
Rumil's attention was drawn back to the elleth in his arms. "It is nothing," he told her, hurriedly pushing his unpleasant thoughts aside. He did not wish to ruin their short time together with dark meditations.
Eruanna's worry was not so easily cast aside. "It is something. Tell me."
Rumil glimpsed that familiar, determined look in Eruanna's eyes, the one she wore when they sparred on the training fields. She was not about to back down. Rumil took a deep breath, summoning all the strength he possessed. He needed it if he was to utter words his heart would prefer remain unspoken, "When you return to Imladris, stay there."
It was slightly more than a request, not quite a command.
Rumil's words should not have caught Eruanna off guard. She should have felt them coming. He always grew nervous in the days leading up to her departure.
Rumil continued, his voice growing stronger with every syllable expressed. "The roads have become too perilous. Sauron's orcs continue to multiply though he was driven out of Dol Guldur more than a century ago. A war is coming."
Rumil lifted Eruanna's chin so he could look into her eyes. "Promise me you will stay within the safety of strong borders until the war is won or the Eldar make their escape across the sea."
This time it was a request, one that could not be refused.
Eruanna did not know what to say. She knew Rumil was not overreacting. It had taken Arwen nearly three months to talk her father and Glorfindel into allowing them to travel again. The road was perilous. In the last fifty years, Glorfindel doubled the number of wardens guarding Rivendell's borders and orc attacks increased threefold.
Eruanna didn't want to imagine how long it might be before she'd see Rumil again but she knew there was only one answer she could give him. She nodded slowly. The fear and urgency in Rumil's eyes reminded her that there was a pain greater than dwelling under different stars. She would not have Rumil worry for her when his mind should be on protecting Lórien. "I promise you, I will remain safely in Imladris until the war is over."
The fear gripping Rumil's heart loosened its hold. There was no way to describe the range of emotions that warred within him upon hearing those words. He pulled Eruanna close and kissed her deeply as if he feared she might depart this very moment and never return. He looked deep into Eruanna's eyes, searching within their depths for some hint of how to proceed. It seemed like ages ago that he'd asked her to stay with him beneath the mallorn trees. He knew better than to ask again; her answer would be the same. The House of Elrond needed her now but perhaps, if light prevailed and the Shadow was cast down…
Eruanna wondered at Rumil's thoughtful expression. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but fell silent before the words came out. "What are you thinking about?" she whispered softly.
Rumil's gaze returned to the elleth in his arms. He could always speak his heart to Eruanna, speaking was never a problem. It was the asking that made him feel weak and utterly vulnerable. He feared her rejection more than any fell beast in all of Arda. Eruanna's eyes begged him to speak his thoughts. It was now or never, he realized with a start. There would be no more visits, no more lazy afternoons in the sun.
Rumil found himself voicing thoughts he'd pondered while guarding the borders, while sitting alone in his talan. "If Sauron is defeated," he whispered, "some edhil will remain awhile longer to help heal Middle Earth's wounds."
Eruanna listened quietly, not knowing quite what to say. "I suppose," was all she had the presence of mind to utter.
Rumil took a deep breath before plunging in to the heart of the matter. "Will you stay with me?"
Eruanna lifted herself to a seated position, a look of confusion painted on her lovely face. "You told me you wished to sail." It was not quite a question but did beg an explanation of Rumil's odd request.
Rumil nodded slowly, "I will sail, but before I depart I wish to walk freely along the shores of the Anduin… as I did in my youth." He studied her expression fearfully, waiting for an answer to his plea.
Eruanna's mind reeled at Rumil's request. He was asking her to remain behind with him after the others depart.
Once Sauron is cast into the void and Elrond's house sails, there would be nothing to do but follow them.
Galadriel's mirror warned only of the coming darkness. When it lifted, Eruanna would be free, free to return to Lórien and dwell beneath the mallorn with Rumil. There was no question of what she wanted, the decision was already made.
"I will stay with you," she told him, "until you are ready to go into the West."
A joy Rumil had never known filled his eyes with her words. It was not that Rumil ever doubted that they would one day be together, but the uncertainty ofwhen long gnawed at his heart. He would kill every last orc in Middle Earth to see that blessed day. Rumil's mouth came crashing down on Eruanna. He did not know when they would next see each other and he wanted to savor the taste of her lips, the touch of her skin. He laid her down on the blanket they shared, tracing the lines of her face with the tips of his fingers.
Eruanna lifted a hand to Rumil's face and smiled sweetly at him while he placed playful kisses on her cheeks and forehead. Eruanna's laughter rang out across the lakeshore at Rumil's impish game. In the midst of her laughter her eyes caught sight of the sun. It was nearer to the horizon then when she'd fallen asleep. "It is late. We should make our way back to the city. I am having dinner with Arwen this evening."
Rumil looked up to see the sun nearing the tops of the trees. He cursed it silently for interrupting his fun. Rumil propped himself up on his elbow, a touch of disappointment reaching his eyes. He did not like sharing Eruanna with others when they had such little time to spend together. "I would not worry about keeping Lady Arwen waiting," he told her matter-of-factly.
Eruanna frowned at Rumil. She knew he didn't like to be separated from her when she visited, but he never before tried to keep her from her family. "You would have me arrive late for dinner?"
Rumil shook his head reading the misunderstanding clearly in Eruanna's eyes. "I only meant that Arwen went with Estel to Cerin Amroth this morning."
This statement seemed to hold a great significance for Rumil, a significance that was lost on Eruanna.
"And you don't think she'll return for dinner?" Eruanna did not quite understand Rumil's logic. After all, Cerin Amroth was not so far. Arwen had plenty of time to travel there and back again.
"I think they are likely to forget the time," he replied.
Rumil's cryptic responses were beginning to remind Eruanna of her conversations with Arwen's brothers. "And why is that?" Eruanna had never known Arwen to simply forget a meal or a promise made to a friend.
Rumil wondered at Eruanna's seeming ignorance. He'd thought the situation obvious enough. Does she not see it? "I thought ellith were supposed to be more observant of such things," there was no humor in Rumil's voice when he spoke these words.
"What things?" Eruanna's question was laced with frustration. She was growing tired of this ridiculous conversation. Eruanna lifted herself to a seated position, one that made it easier to read the nuances of Rumil's expression and body language.
"They are in love," Rumil said slowly, praying that Eruanna was only pretending not to have noticed.
"Love?" Eruanna nearly choked on the word. "That is absurd. Estel is but a child!"
Rumil held his breath. He knew Eruanna thought of Estel as a child, she helped raise him, after all. What she failed to see was that the Lord of the Dúnedain was not an elf, he was a Man and by their measure he was not a child. "Lady Arwen does not see him that way," Rumil replied gently.
"I do not believe it." Eruanna thought Rumil's declaration ridiculous in the extreme.
The warden smiled charmingly at her in an attempt to soothe the elleth's frustration. "Perhaps you have been too distracted by a charming, handsome ellon to notice."
"You think so?" Eruanna replied, oblivious to the intentional humor of Rumil's words.
"Hmmm," Rumil leaned in to place a kiss on Eruanna's cheek but she jumped to her feet before his lips landed.
"Then we must hurry back," she said to the disappointed looking ellon.
"Why?" Rumil had no real desire to put an early end to their quiet afternoon together and he was more than certain Arwen would be late for dinner.
"So I can prove you wrong. Let us be off." Eruanna moved quickly to pack up the few items they'd brought along to the lake. She even pulled the blanket out from under Rumil despite his childish protests.
Conceding defeat, Rumil stood gracefully. Eruanna would leave with or without him and he'd rather spend the next hour at her side then sulking beside the waterfall. Rumil knew he was right about Arwen and Estel, but he did not look forward to seeing how Eruanna would take the news.
Rumil offered Eruanna his arm. "As you wish, but do not be disappointed upon discovering that you are the one who is wrong."
Three hours past their appointed meal time, Eruanna found herself climbing the long stair to the royal talan in search of Arwen. The guards nodded their greetings to her as she passed them in the long hall leading to the Lady's quarters. She reached her destination, hesitating only a moment before lifting a hand to knock upon the door. A minute later, the door swung open and Eruanna stood face to face with the one for whom she'd been searching.
"Did you forget our dinner plans?" Eruanna asked the Lady, who appeared rather surprised to see her standing in the hall.
Arwen's surprise morphed into an expression of deepest apology. "Oh Eruanna, forgive me! It completely slipped my mind." It was not in Arwen's nature to forget a promise made to a friend and she felt terribly for her absentminded mistake. She gestured the elleth hurriedly inside. "Please, come in."
Eruanna followed Arwen into her rooms. The Lady led them out onto the terrace where a platter of fruits and mixed nuts along with a carafe of wine sat on a serving table.
Eruanna studied the Lady carefully as she watched her move ever gracefully across the room to the table. They had an odd relationship, Arwen and Eruanna. Sometimes, Arwen played mother to the younger elleth, and at need, sister or friend. Still, there was something strange and distant about the beautiful Lady of Imladris, a secret she shared with no other. It always left Eruanna with the uncomfortable feeling that she did not know Arwen at all.
Though there be distance between them, Eruanna could see there was definitely something different about Arwen this evening. It was as if her entire being glowed with a hidden joy. Eruanna found herself staring quite openly at the Lady as she took a seat on a large settee and poured her guest a glass of wine.
Oblivious to her companion's intense appraisal, Arwen poured Eruanna a drink. She laid the now half empty pitcher down upon the table and held out the glass to Eruanna. It was only then that she noticed the elleth's concerned eyes upon her. "What?" she asked, lowering her outstretched arm to her lap.
"He was right," Eruanna could not keep her shock from seeping into the timber of her voice.
Arwen, for her part, had no idea what Eruanna was referring to. "Who was right about what?" she asked, with a fair amount of humor in her eyes.
Eruanna could barely wrap her mind around the memory of Rumil's formerly absurd words. "Rumil said you were in love…with Estel."
Arwen's mask of good humor vanished, a cool, defensive façade was erected in its place. "You are displeased." She'd expected nothing less from the others, but somehow, the disappointment in Eruanna's eyes cut like a knife. Of all her loved ones, she'd thought Eruanna would understand.
Eruanna's mouth fell open in stunned silence. "Displeased," she repeated the word, unsure of how to respond to the accusation. "I…no…yes! He is a child!" Eruanna could not believe she needed to point that out to an elleth who'd lived nearly three thousand years.
Arwen shook her head slowly. "He is not a child."
Not a child? That was certainly debatable. Still, Eruanna had to admit, it was not Estel's age that ignited her panicked concern, but something far more dreadful. "He is mortal," Eruanna breathed the words as if they were poison.
"He is," Arwen's voice was soft and tinged with a great sadness.
Eruanna shook her head, her mind refusing to believe what she was hearing. She reached out a hand to grip the railing, lowering herself to the settee beside Arwen before she collapsed in shock. Her gaze fell to the ground but her eyes did not see the elegant design carved into the floor.
"I love him, Eruanna," the Lady said at last. It was a plea, a plea for understanding but Arwen saw little empathy in her companion's eyes.
Eruanna heard the desperation in Arwen's voice, her need for a kind word, but Eruanna could not quite find it within herself to offer one. This was not merely a matter of love. It was a matter of life and death, Arwen's death. "You will die," she knew the statement unnecessary. Arwen knew well enough the price she would pay.
"I know," was the Lady's solemn reply.
Eruanna shook her head, unable to comprehend Arwen's easy acceptance of such an end. "Why would you choose this terrible fate?"
An odd, unexpected smile curled Arwen's lips at the elleth's question and a spark of humor lit her eyes.
"There is no humor in this, Arwen." Eruanna snapped at what she thought an improper reaction to her query.
Arwen's brief smile faltered and the light in her eyes dimmed to one of serious contemplation. "You are quite right, death is a serious matter. I am merely reminded of something Elrohir said to me long ago."
"And what would that be?" The tone of the question was somewhat harsh as Eruanna was not presently in the mood for the twins' witticisms. Arwen's answer was not what Eruanna was expecting.
"He said you were an elf, that you were always an elf, just like ada."
Eruanna was caught off guard by the Lady's proclamation. It made little sense, seeing as she was neither an elf nor a man. "What is that supposed to mean?" she asked the Lady in frustration.
Arwen sighed deeply before offering her companion an explanation of her words. "It means that you were destined to be counted among the Eldar, to sail west," she paused, holding Eruanna's gaze with sad, piercing eyes, "and that is why you do not understand."
Eruanna's breath caught in her throat before she could protest. Had she not spent the past 300 years debating her choice? Was she not the one who'd been struggling with whether or not to remain behind?
No, that is not true, she realized with a start, I have only ever thought of not sailing. I have never really considered the idea of remaining behind to die.
Elrohir's words disturbed Eruanna profoundly. It appeared that like his father, the younger Lord of Imladris saw many things. Eruanna had no connection to the world of men, save for Estel. She had no connection to Middle Earth, no reason to remain once the elves were gone. Had he seen this at their first meeting or was this a more recent insight? Eruanna wished to know, but now was not the time for such questions.
Eruanna's mind returned to Arwen's choice and all that it entailed. A question struck her without warning, one that could not be ignored. "What will you tell your adar?"
A flood of memories returned to Eruanna, countless times that the Lord had spoken of the peace of Valinor, of being reunited with his wife with his children at his side. It was his sole source of hope, the light in the gathering darkness which allowed him to carry on, and it was about to be shattered like so many shards of glass.
The fearful cast of Arwen's eyes told Eruanna that she was not blind to this fact.
Arwen's mind whirled at the thought of her father. She loved him more than any ellon in Arda and she knew, too, that this parting would chip away at what remained of his broken heart. But the pain Arwen felt at losing her family was balanced by an equally powerful sting at the thought of abandoning Aragorn. She'd waited so long to find her soul's companion. "I will tell him I have made my choice," she said at last.
"He will try to dissuade you," Eruanna knew Elrond could be fearsome in anger. She found herself worried for Estel. The Lord of Imladris loved the man as his own son but Elrond's generosity would only extend so far where his daughter was concerned.
"He will," Arwen resigned herself to the unpleasant confrontation with her father, to angry words and broken hearts.
"As will I," Eruanna added. She would not and could not allow her beloved friend and sister to give up her life, not without a fight. She knew it was not the support Arwen had hoped for, but Eruanna would not offer the Lady false joy.
"I know," Arwen wrapped her arms around the smaller elleth in a tender embrace.
Eruanna wrapped her arms around Arwen, and once she did, Eruanna found she did not wish to let her go. She held on to the Lady fiercely.
Arwen rested her head against Eruanna's. Her voice, barely above a whisper, confessed a secret she'd long swore to keep from the elleth in her arms. "I have waited so long to find my soul's companion," she told the younger elleth. "I envied you so, when you found Rumil."
Eruanna pulled away slightly and looking into the Lady's face, she saw the truth of Arwen's words. It was disconcerting to imagine Arwen jealous ofher. Still, three thousand years was a long time to wait for one's mate. Perhaps Arwen was mistaken; perhaps it was out of loneliness that she turned to Estel. "You are certain Estel is the one?"
Arwen laughed and raising a brow answered Eruanna's question with another. "Are you certain of Rumil?"
Eruanna's eyes widened momentarily. Elrohir was the last one to ask her that question. At the time, she had no answer.
"For a long time, I tried to convince myself I wasn't certain, but now," she paused, trying to find the right words, "now, I think I loved Rumil from the moment I first laid eyes on him."
It was a strange thought, for she'd labored long in those early years to justify her feelings, to find fault in Rumil or deny the strength of their bond. It was fear that made her push him away but when the years spent apart failed to lessen their affection or longing for one another, the truth of her feelings became clear and the uncertainty melted away.
Arwen saw by the expression on Eruanna's face that she'd never before acknowledged this to anyone, even herself. She answered Eruanna's question with a mischievous smile. "I knew even upon our first meeting, though he was yet a yearling and called me Tinúviel. It was as if I was standing before my grandmother's mirror, seeing my future laid out before me."
Eruanna frowned at that, but a touch of humor lit her eyes. "I shouldn't have warned him off the northern path," she muttered in defeat.
"I doubt it would have made much of a difference," Arwen laughed freely, some of her former mirth replacing the sadness in her heart. "We were bound to meet at the dinner table."
Eruanna conceded that with a small nod. Her thoughts wandered back to the reason for her advice to Estel. "I don't know why I bothered. Glorfindel got him and your brothers eventually. I don't think they made it a week."
Arwen's smile brightened, claiming her entire countenance. "They did look incredibly silly strung up in those trees, didn't they?"
A rather unladylike snort issued from Eruanna at the memory. "My stomach hurt for days, I laughed so hard."
Arwen's light laughter joined with her sister's, "The expression on ada's face was priceless. I will never forget it."
Arwen's joy dimmed once more at the thought of her father. She laid a hand on Eruanna's, gripping it firmly. "Will you do something for me, Eruanna?" she asked.
Eruanna's laughter faded at the urgency of Arwen's request. "You know I would do anything for my family," she reminded the Lady.
Eruanna could not have offered more encouraging words; for that was precisely the response Arwen had hoped for. The Lady took a deep, unsteady breath before making her request. "I do not know what life awaits you in Valinor, but I would ask you not to forget ada or my brothers. I know one child can never replace another, but they love you." She offered the younger elleth a kind, hopeful smile. "Perhaps your presence will have some power to soften the pain of my loss."
Eruanna shook her head slowly. It was a hopeless task, as far as Eruanna was concerned. Nothing could replace the grace of Arwen Undómiel, not in her brothers' hearts and surely not in her father's. "I do not believe anything in Arda can ease such a pain," Eruanna told her, but at the sight of Arwen's troubled eyes, she consented to the Lady's 'dying' request. "But even so, I will not forget them. I will watch over Elrond as you have these many years and I will play sister when Elrohir and Elladan have need of one."
An oddly humorous expression spread across Eruanna's face at those final words.
"What is so amusing?" Arwen asked.
Eruanna sighed theatrically, "I shall have to learn to make that glare of disapproval you always give your brothers when they are up to no good. I don't know how you manage to keep a straight face."
Arwen's laughter rang out into the night. It had taken many long years to perfect her glare. The Lady found the thought of passing on that expression to Eruanna strangely comforting, as if a piece of her might remain forever with her loved ones, be it only a scowl on the face of another. "Never fear," Arwen assured her, a mischievous grin spreading across her face, "I will show you precisely how it is done."