The finding of Sirius had apparently signaled the end of the game, and for the rest of the day Sirius was swamped with people

The finding of Sirius had apparently signaled the end of the game, and for the rest of the day Sirius was swamped with people teasing him about it. He took it all very good-naturedly, grinning and laughing. Remus overheard him saying that it was all his fault and next time he was "leaving the bugger to fend for himself." However, as Sirius had winked at him while he was saying that, Remus couldn't bring himself to be offended by it.

Over the next few days, Remus kept trying to corner Sirius. He had decided that he needed to tell him, and despite every higher brain function screaming 'NO! BAD IDEA!' at him, he was sticking to his guns this time. Sirius needed to know, otherwise he'd keep babbling on for the rest of his life about how Moony had to marry a nice girl and spawn ((Sirius liked the word spawn)). Which would be terribly annoying and make Remus want to bash his head against solid things.

First, he managed to ambush him on his way down the stairs to the common room as Sirius was rushing up.

"Pads!" he called, grabbing Sirius' arm. "I need to talk to you!"

"Can it wait?" Sirius asked, looking at him pleadingly.

"Why?"

"I really need to pee." He danced around on the spot as if to demonstrate.

"Oh..." Remus blinked. "Okay."

"Thanks Moony, you're a real pal, I'll catch you later, okay!" And he dashed off.

"Well," Remus said, frowning faintly at the stone wall. "Bugger that."

The second time Remus managed to corner Sirius, any talk of...well...that, would have been entirely inappropriate as moments after Remus arrived on the scene, Severus Snape walked into exactly the right spot and Sirius gave the signal to Peter and James who were also camped out in their own little cubbies along the hall, and Snape found himself covered in flour, water and pink glitter and experienced the feeling of deep foreboding that none of it was likely to come off any time in the near future. Remus knew better than to try and have a serious conversation with Sirius when he was celebrating a successful prank on Snape.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth attempts all ended in a similar way. By the eighth attempt, Remus was not only frustrated, but positive that Sirius knew he wanted to talk to him and was doing his damndest to avoid him at all costs.

After four more attempts, Remus found himself in Potions, watching with great annoyance as Sirius dissolved his cauldron ((On purpose, Remus had no doubt)) and got handed another detention on a silver platter, along with a free scathing insult from Professor Sidgewick.

Annoyance overwhelming common sense, Remus decided to act.

-

Sirius had a sixth sense when it came to telling whether a serious conversation with in the air. This was useful, as, at seventeen, Sirius felt that it was his God-given duty to avoid a serious conversation as though his life depended on it, because he was far too young and too pretty to be having serious conversations on a regular basis.

He'd seen the look in Remus' eye before they went into Potions. That was extreme determination. Remus was going to corner him soon and Sirius would have to go to great lengths to avoid any possible confrontation.

However, this attempt, he thought, staring down at his fizzing cauldron in disappointment, had gone a bit tits up. If potions were going to go wrong, in his opinion, they should at least go wrong in an impressive way. He'd been aiming to make the bloody thing explode. That would have been fun. Apparently, this potion did not like to be exploded, and had...fizzed. Well, if Sirius Black couldn't make something explode, it quite blatantly couldn't be done.

Just as he completed that thought, a huge explosion from somewhere behind him rocked the room and several bits of rock fell out of the ceiling. He himself got splatted in the back of the head with something warm, gooey and not at all pleasant.

A feeling of horror dropped heavily to the pit of his stomach, and he turned slowly on the spot to see Remus, arms folded, slightly sooty and dripping goo, glaring at him over the top of the remains of his cauldron, blatantly ignoring as Professor Sidgewick ranted at him.

Well crap, Sirius thought. I've just signed my own bloody death warrant.

-

Sirius hid himself for the rest of the evening leading up to his and Remus' detention, and when it was time for him to report to the dungeons, he dragged his feet and found himself terribly, terribly nervous.

Remus was waiting outside the door for him, and when Sirius drew up beside him, he pushed open the door.

"Professor Sidgewick?" he called, Sirius shuffling along behind him. "We're here."

"I can see that," the aged Potions Master snapped. "At least you're on time. That must be your doing, Lupin, because Black has never been on time for anything in his life."

Sirius tried his best to not look affronted and attempted to twist his face into something remotely like 'sheepish'. From the expression on Remus' face when he glanced at him, he only succeeded in looking like he was trying to devour his own nose.

Professor Sidgewick handed them a scrubbing brush each and pointed to the large bucket of soapy water on the floor.

"I want this classroom spotless by the time I come back," he said, taking their wands off them. "Now get to work, I have a meeting with the Headmaster." He strode out of the room, his robes billowing behind them.

"How in Merlin's name does he get them to billow like that?" Sirius asked, after the door had slammed shut behind the Professor. "I can never get my robes to billow. D'you think it's a qualification you only get when you become a teacher or something, because I think I may have seen McGonagall's billow a few times as well."

"Sirius, I don't give a Kneazle's arse about billowing robes," Remus said, grabbing Sirius' shoulder and tugging him around to face him. "I need to talk to you."

"Can it wait?" Sirius asked, backing out of Remus' grasp and diving for the bucket of water. "We need to clean."

"Sirius, this is important."

"So is this," Sirius insisted, clambering up the stepladder that Professor Sidgewick had left behind and beginning to scrub the ceiling. "If we're not done by the time Sidgewick gets back, he'll eat us alive."

Remus let out a noise oddly like a strangled growl and Sirius winced as the other boy strode up beside him and started scrubbing at the wall.

"Fine," Remus said. "We'll do this. But get done quickly, Sirius, because I will talk to you before the end of today, whether you like it or not."

They set to work. At first, Sirius tried to work slowly, but Remus whacked him hard with the wooden side of his scrubbing brush and he went back to work at normal pace, wishing that he'd just let Remus talk to him before they started, so it would have been over and done with and it wouldn't be hanging over his head like this making him feel as sick as anything.

When, finally they were done, Sirius dropped his scrubbing brush in the bucket and put his hands on the small of his back, arching backwards with a relieved grunt.

"Merlin," he breathed. "My back is killing me..."

When he opened his eyes, Remus was staring at him, his eyes burning with various things that Sirius couldn't identify because quite frankly he was naff at that kind of thing. He watched, frozen like a deer in headlights, as Remus flung his own scrubbing brush into the bucket with a 'clang' and a 'splash' and strode towards Sirius menacingly.

"Remus..." Sirius said, wracking his brain for anything he might possibly have done to offend Remus, as he backed away nervously. "Don't be hasty now...If I've upset you in any way, I'm really really sorry..."

"You've been avoiding me for the past bloody week," Remus snarled, in a terrifyingly un-Remus-Like manner. "And I've been getting rather frustrated."

"F-frustrated?" Sirius repeated weakly. "Why frustrated?"

Remus didn't answer. He just grabbed Sirius by the front of his robes and yanked him forwards, kissing him. Sirius, if he had had the presence of mind, would have winced.

The kiss was messy and un-coordinated. His lips were pushed back hard against his teeth and Remus' nose was just about in his eye and it hurt quite a bit and he could sort of taste blood, which was worrying. However, this was all overshadowed by the fact that Remus was kissing him and it...

...wasn't good.

This wasn't right, this wasn't right. Remus must be out of his bleeding mind!

He pushed Remus away reflexively with all his strength, staring at the other boy, chest heaving, with wide eyes as he wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. Remus stared back, eyes equally wide and chest heaving just as much.

Merlin, what in the bloody seven hells had that been? Sirius' brain made several false starts before it latched onto the phrase 'I've been rather frustrated' and clung to it like a drowning man.

Remus did not like Sirius. Remus had given Sirius his Valentine back. Therefore, this meant that Remus' sudden assault on Sirius' unprotected oral cavity did not mean that Remus wanted to kiss him and shag him and grow old with him in a soppy, girly, happily ever after way.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" he roared, furious. "Where the hell did that come from?"

Remus moved his mouth wordlessly. He had just realized the folly of letting his irritation control his actions. This lack of response, however, just annoyed Sirius more.

'I've been feeling rather frustrated'

"You arsehole," Sirius snarled viciously, his temper seizing control of his mouth. "I thought you were better than that! I can't believe that you think that just because I sent you a Valentine, I'll just roll over and let you fuck me until you've worked out all your frustrations."

Remus gaped at him, taken aback.

"What?" he forced out. "Sirius, that's not what - "

"Stuff it, Remus. I don't want to hear it," Sirius snapped.

"Well maybe you need to!" Remus snapped back, temper rising to meet Sirius'.

Sirius shot him a disgusted look, drawing himself up to his full height.

"I sincerely doubt you have anything to say that could interest me. I'm not a common tramp, Remus, I've got more dignity than that. Although," he sneered. "Apparently you don't."

"Oh, you wish, Black," Remus growled, stung. "Now's one hell of a time for you to start having standards."

Sirius shot Remus a withering look down his nose.

"Merlin," he said with feeling. "You wanker. I can't believe I thought I was in love with you."

Remus choked on the breath he was taking at that and stared, gobsmacked, as Sirius whirled and strode out of the dungeon in a way that wasn't quite as billowy as Professor Sidgewick, but was just as impressive, passing the Potions Master on the way out, his expression as black as his name.

Remus stood, gaping after Sirius, dazed. He felt vaguely concussed, although he knew that Sirius had not actually hit him and words could not do any physical harm to a person unless a wand was added to the equation. He didn't register Sidgewick dismissing him, but his feet carried him out of the dungeon and through the various corridors of the castle.

Sirius had sent him a Valentine. It must have been those roses. The roses that Remus had thought were for Sirius and put on Sirius' bedside table and Sirius had thought Remus was rejecting him. Oh bollocks, and now the stupid bastard had got completely the wrong end of the stick and thought that Remus was looking for a quick shag.

He heaved a heavy sigh and scrubbed his hand over his face.

The main point was that Sirius was – or at the very least had been – in love with him.

Unfortunately, this knowledge did not fill him with the joy he had expected he would feel. It just made his stomach twist painfully. All this palaver because of a series of stupid misunderstandings. Of course, it wasn't likely that he'd be able to convince Sirius of that without one hell of a lot of effort.

He shook his head to clear it and climbed into the common room, flopping heavily into his chair. He chewed thoughtfully on the knuckle of his left thumb as he pondered this conundrum.

This, he thought, was going to be terribly difficult. Sirius was a person who took a lot of convincing. However, this did not phase Remus. He was, after all, one of the Marauders, and he liked nothing better than a challenge.

Especially when overcoming this challenge could be extremely satisfying.

-

"Argh! This is so boring!" Sirius grunted, flopping forwards onto the book open in front of him. "I hate advanced magic!"

James raised an eyebrow at him from the other side of the table.

"Sirius, you were an animagus by the time you were in fourth year. What the hell kind of magic do you call that if it's not advanced?"

"But that was the fun kind of advanced magic," Sirius whined. "At the end there was the whole fun turning into an animal bit! This is just the boring kind of advanced magic and it's just a load of warnings about how you shouldn't turn a mole into an elephant for an extended period of time, or how when houses are transfigured into planes inaccurately the wings have a habit of turning into doors."

James snorted and flipped his own book shut.

"Merlin, you're right," he huffed, running a hand through his hair. He heaved a sigh and leaned back in his seat.

After a long, silent, lethargic pause, Sirius spoke. His voice was somewhat muffled, since his face was still smushed against the pages of his textbook, but James had had lots of practice in translating various states of Sirius' incomprehensibility and was able to muddle along just fine.

"James? Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," James pointed out. Sirius lifted his head to rest his chin on the table and glared at him. "Oh alright. Yes, Padfoot, you may ask me a question."

"Good." Sirius chewed on his bottom lip. It had been a week since the Disaster in the Dungeons, as he called it ((He was quite proud of his use of alliteration there)), and while he had managed the first couple of days to be as frosty as possible to Remus, he was beginning to have his doubts. Especially since every time he snubbed Remus, Remus would just give him a small smile, a tiny shrug, and go back to whatever he was doing. It was rather unnerving. And it made him wibble every time because he knew that Remus now hated his guts because he'd let his stupid Black Family temper take control of his stupid Black Family insult drive and he'd been...rather rude.

"Prongs?" he said after a pause.

"Yes Padfoot?" James responded obediently.

"If Lily wanted to have sex with you, not because she loved you back, but because you were just convenient, would you have sex with her?"

James blinked, then grinned.

"Of course! Then she'd see how wonderful I was in bed and fall in love with me immediately!"

"I'm serious Prongs!" Sirius sat up and slammed his hand on the table. James started slightly.

"Jeez...Sorry..."

"What if, right, you knew she'd never love you back, even if you were wonderful in the sack – Which," Sirius added. "I sincerely doubt – because...you knew she...let's say...because she liked girls? Would you still sleep with her then?"

James narrowed his eyes at Sirius.

"Are you trying to say that Lily's a dyke? Because you know, I won't believe a word of it! That's slander that is!"

"It's just hypothetical!" Sirius said. "Look, will you answer the bloody question!"

James huffed out a sulky breath but, Sirius had to give him his due, he did think very hard before answering the question.

"No," he said, after a long while, his voice serious. "Because for one thing, it'd just show me exactly what I couldn't have, for another it would be, well, desperate - "

"Because you don't seem desperate in all your other dealings with her," Sirius scoffed.

"Look, do you want me to help or not?"

"Sorry, sorry. Carry on."

"Lastly," James continued with flourish. "Lastly, it would be pointless to sleep with someone who would not properly appreciate my skills."

He folded his arms in satisfaction and met Sirius' gaze with a smug smile. Sirius blinked at him.

"Right," he said after a pause. "Thanks."

"Why did you want to know?" James asked, suddenly curious. "Has Lily been asking questions?"

"Don't be daft," Sirius said, but it was a half-hearted attempt at scorn as he processed this. "I just wanted to make sure I made the right decision the other day."

James raised an eyebrow, a small grin forming on his face.

"Oh-ho!" he said, somewhat triumphantly. "Never say that the Almighty Sirius Black, who is above such mortal emotions as Love and will mock all sufferers, has suddenly found himself in Aphrodite's unforgiving grip!"

Sirius shot him an unimpressed look.

"I don't mock all sufferers," he muttered. "I only mock you, you twat. And I never said I was above it. And it's not sudden."

"That's a relief," James grinned. "I haven't seen you so much as look at a girl since third year. Some of the other lads on the Quidditch team are laying bets on whether you become a monk or not. Personally, I was more worried that you'd turned into a nancing great poofter."

Sirius smiled weakly.

"Yeah," he murmured. "Imagine that."

"So who is it then?" James demanded. "Margaret McBreen?"

Sirius blinked at him.

"What the hell made you think of her?" he asked.

"She's that Ravenclaw who was eyeing you up," James explained patiently.

"No..." Sirius, who made it his business to know each and every person currently attending Hogwarts by name, face and ((if appropriate)) reptuation, said slowly, looking at James as though he was demented. "Margaret McBreen is two years below us in this house. You're thinking of Megan McBreen."

"I thought that was Martha..." James frowned.

"Martha was in Ravenclaw and left when we were in second year," Sirius explained.

"Megan is in our year and also in Ravenclaw. Margaret is in our house, in fourth year, along with her brother and sister, twins, who are in first year – Michael and Shelly."

"Shelly's a nickname isn't it?" James asked suspiciously.

"Michelle," Sirius clarified, and James groaned.

"Cruel parents," he grumbled, shaking his head in disbelief. "Cruel, cruel parents."

Sirius smirked and nodded his agreement, thankful that James could be so easily distracted by the recitation of the genealogy of various students at this fine education establishment.

-