Title: Mr. X

Chapter: 4

Author: Arawna

Disclaimer: Anything pertaining to Harry Potter and Co. does not belong to me, rather to JKR and anyone else who has stuck their hand into this cauldron.

A/N: I am well aware of the mistakes in Harry's texting…that's half of the point.

Harry didn't go directly to bed when the lights went out that night. Instead, he sat up, debating on whether he should wait for X to make the first contact like the last couple of times, or if he should just say screw it and message the other man first. When the lonely darkness became too much to bare by himself, he resigned to the temptation and flipped his phone open.

i think i realized something today

He pressed the send button and set his phone down on the bed before him. He just stared at it, barely making out the light outline of the silver in the dark. He chewed the inside of his cheek, trying very hard to keep his hands to himself, instead of just reaching out and grabbing the phone. No, he'd wait until it vibrated, then he'd pick it up; but not until then.

It felt odd, to be waiting so long for his mystery man to send a reply. His insides were knotting and his muscles buzzed with something between excitement and anxiety.

"Why aren't you responding?" he asked the phone in vain, all the while wringing his hands in his lap. He needed to talk to someone, and Hermione and Ron were out of the question.

After what seemed like an eternity, the phone vibrated. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Oh? And what do you think you realized?

Harry didn't know how to word it; he knew how he felt, but he just couldn't describe it. And if he tried, would X get it? Could Harry really convey the empty feeling he'd felt?

i think i miss someone from when i was younger

That was the best he could describe it without being completely and utterly ambiguous. Looking at the pictures, especially the ones of that day at the lake, he felt as though something was missing, and it unnerved him. It unnerved him to the point of not being able to confide in his friends, rather a complete stranger whose name he didn't even know.

And how did you come to realize this?

Harry thought to himself. Could he really pull off this kind of explanation without it being too lengthy? Deciding that there was close to no chance of that happening, he replied.

me and my friends were looking at photos from when we were in school and one person always stood out to me. well, more like one picture - one of him swimming down at the lake. i don't know, but it made me feel empty and…and i just don't know. i have no clue why it just struck me, seeing as how i have a poster of him in my room!

Harry glanced over at the Quidditch poster hanging over his desk. The same lips smirked down at him and the same eyes challenged him. Why could he look upon that and - up until now - have not felt the same as he had when browsing through the albums?

Seeming to read his mind, X replied with an answer to his unasked question.

Maybe it was seeing him without the usual clothes - you know, seeing his bare skin - that made you realize that you missed something about this boy.

Harry sighed. Maybe that was it, but why would he be missing Malfoy now? Why would this feeling suddenly fall upon him?

As he looked by through his own life as a wizard, he noticed that Malfoy was always there, whether as a nemesis in the school yard or a comrade on the battle field. Malfoy was a constant in his life and he seemed to miss the scathing remarks and piercing glares. Of course there was a reason why the poster never invoked such feelings: it wasn't the 'real' Malfoy. The piece of paper never argued with him. It never insulted him. It never got his blood pumping. It never made him feel anything. It just hung on the wall, smirking and challenging, falsely promising a worthy fight that would never come.

In some way that Harry didn't quite understand, he missed the rise he got when he was around the Slytherin.

With another sigh, he quickly made a reply.

i just don't know

Harry threw himself back on the pillows, missing the headboard with his head by only centimeters. His head was spinning trying to figure out why he felt empty and why Malfoy seemed the only culpable suspect. He wanted so much to abandon the quest for these answers and go to bed, but he knew that with his head this full, the deep slumber he so very much longed for would never arrive.

His phone vibrated against his chest.

Well, are you going to tell me who your Lost Lover is?

He laughed to himself. Half because he could clearly see the reaction the other man would undoubtedly have and half because the 'Lost Lover' part was so far from the actual truth.

you're gonna laugh and think 'why would the great harry potter seem to feel empty because of him'

'And Herm and Ron would probably disembowel me, then think why the hell I'd miss him', Harry thought to himself.

There's nothing 'great' about you, so don't flatter yourself Potter. And I won't think that unless he was a Hufflepuff - Er, he's not a Hufflepuff, is he?

Well, at least he wasn't the only one who didn't think he deserved the fame and superiority bestowed upon him by a raving lunatic.

lol, no hes not a hufflepuff. hes a…slytherin.

A Gryffindor and a Slytherin? My interest has been piqued. Do continue.

Anyone's interest would be piqued by any sort of relationship between a Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Gossip about the seemingly opposite Houses was always on the lips of students when Harry was still at Hogwarts, especially if it had nothing to do with feuding. Looking back, Harry remembered that it took weeks for the gossip of Ginny and Blaise to calm down, and even then, the mention of anything Slytherin/Gryffindor related always brought thoughts of the couple to everyone's mind.

But between 'The Slytherin' and 'The Gryffindor' of their generation, theDaily Prophet would most likely over-exaggerate any sort of relationship, whether it be simple acquaintances, friendship, or even - Harry stopped his train of thought there.

you might not even know him

He hoped, in vain, that X wouldn't know the man that had haunted his thoughts since that afternoon.

Come on, Harry, I know EVERYONE. Well, not everyone, because I don't know any Muggles, but I do know most of the Wizarding World.

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his tangled hair. Of course this wouldn't be easy.

fine, but you should know that i hate you. the boy - well, man - i miss is none other than Draco Malfoy. go ahead, laugh if you want; honestly, i would if i were you

All of a sudden, Harry was hit with an odd sensation. Had he really said that to a complete stranger? When had he become so trusting so easily? Panic set in as he thought about what X could do with type information if he so chose.

He was startled by vibrations against his chest.

You know, I'd laugh, but, strangely, I can't bring myself to do it. No, I find it oddly endearing that you seem to have fallen for your 'enemy'. Just think about what the public would say if they knew; something about 'Romeo and Juliet' and then they would piss and moan about Fate and 'star-crossed lovers' and all that shite. Oh what a cruel bitch this Fate is that she should never tell them such a touching story.

He found relief in that he could trust X with this, his newest and most definitely deepest secret. However, the other man's take on Harry's feelings of emptiness disquieted him. Surely he couldn't have fallen for Malfoy - he hadn't seen him for the better part of a year.

The thought of the distance of time and space between himself and Malfoy - just the thought, not even the analysis of that thought - apparently had an effect on the visceral emptiness, which felt as though it dug deeper and deeper into his being.

i thank you for not laughing, but im not sure if i can agree with your evaluation of my 'feelings' - it just can't be true, if not for my sake, then at least for my friends who wouldn't understand

Harry thought about merely having feelings for the ex-Slytherin, nothing beyond that, and found that he was curiously comfortable with the idea. Then he thought about his best friends. His illusion of their reactions was that they would scorn and leave him; would they really do that?

If they are any friends at all, then they'll accept and love you all the same no matter who you choose to shower your affections on. Trust me, I thought that my parents would surely disown me and my friends would never speak with me again when I told them that I was gay - half of them even found out who I hold so dearly in my heart and still stayed with me, despite their thoughts on my 'lack of sense'. Anyway, it's getting late, how 'bout we finish this tomorrow - well, later today - alright?

ok, i'll talk to you later. bye

X's reassurance of his friends helped Harry to drift off to sleep. However, it was the topic of their conversation that filled his dreams that night.

TBC