Chapter 13

A dreamless reality

I glanced at Edward, I was so proud. She was gorgeous! Our baby, our baby. I couldn't help smiling at her our baby, she was incredibly perfect. My hair Edwards green eyes. She walked toward Edward, his eyes were incredibly happy. She met his arms and I smiled with glee. He was a wonderful father. "dada!" she squealed. Her first word, it wasn't mama but I was equally happy with her first word dada! She loved Edward, as do I.

His eyes were soft and tears came to them as he held his baby close. I smiled warmly completely ignoring the fact that vampires couldn't cry. "I love you, both of you." he smiled at me.

"DADA!" she giggled again giggling wildly. He smiled.

"say it again." she obeyed her father.

"dada." he smiled with glee.

"again." he commanded.

"da.da." I think she was enjoying that the fact of her talking was amusing him so.

He laughed, "again!" awh where's my camera? This was beyond adorable! I smiled warmly, he beckoned me over to him. I slid into his lap.

He wrapped his arms around me as our darling baby danced around singing "DADA! DADA! DAAADAAAA!!" I kissed underneath his chin. He was shaking from happiness, he really loved our baby. And I was beyond glad. Suddenly things got darker and she fell. Her face shocked as she plummeted toward the side of the glass coffee table. It shattered, glass flying every which way. Cutting her skin. I looked at my husband his eyes were terrified, and surprisingly black.

Were they like that before? I don't think so. He wiggled from his Indian-style position on the floor. He picked me up and placed me on the couch. "Edward I.." he turned to me his eyes blacker than black. "you stay here now, the monster must feed." as soon as he said that he had transformed into the face of James.

"NOOO!!" I started sobbing uncontrollably but I didn't dare move an inch. My baby was going to die.

"Bella, Bella, Bella." James voice spat at me, this made me cry harder,

"No not her she's just a child!" I sobbed louder now.

"the monster muuusssstttt feeeddd!!" he launched himself at me and I opened my eyes gasping for air.

Edwards POV

She had been whispering her dream to me for the last few hours, it was a nice look inside her head. Well at least the parts that she was saying. Some of which made no since. In a matter of minutes she was sobbing and shaking and she suddenly woke up gasping.

"Bella its okay! It was just a dream everything is fine!" I soothed her, waiting for her to relax in my arms. She didn't.

"is the baby…" she was cut off short, "oh." she must have realized that she never actually became pregnant with me. That must have been a relief from what ever made her sob so hard in her mind. "the dream was horrible Edward."

She whispered it to me, I smiled at the whole beginning wondering what was so horrible about dada being our child's first words. I found that very spectacular. Then she came to the part where she fell, I gasped at that. Our beautiful daughter hurt and bleeding. I waited to hear my reaction, she told me one of my biggest fears. My eyes were darker than night. I wanted to feed off my child.

That would never happen. I wouldn't let it. She told me my words and I gasped I was sure that that's why she was bawling. She was probably terrified of me now. I would understand if she thought her subconscious was telling her not to marry the monster. It makes since. But then she told me the worst of it, I turned into James.

"Bella, love, he is never coming back." she breathed out finally relaxing in my arms.

"I know." she let out more air from her mouth, snuggling closer to me. "we were just so happy, I loved our baby and someone was threatening that and I didn't do anything to stop him I just cried. What kind of mother was I?" tears started to flow down her cheeks.

"an amazing one! It was a dream Bella. You couldn't help anything. Shh! Please don't cry, I love you so much." I cooed. I wished desperately for myself to believe the words I was saying. There may not be a threat at the moment but that sure didn't mean that everything was okay. I wanted a child, and so did she but I couldn't give that to her. It felt wrong.

Maybe I'm asking to much, am I? I suppose I'm being selfish, I'm asking for to much in this world. I've already got Bella, am I pushing it asking for more? Even if it was for her also? I let out a long unneeded breath and kissed her hair closing my eyes its getting late.

"lets go home." she nodded wiping her eyes. I carried her to the Volvo sliding her onto my lap as I drove, I wasn't letting go of her not now not ever.

She stirred as I laid her into my bed, I snuggled close to her. "mmm, Edward?" she whispered.

"as always, love." she grinned tiredly up at me, she yawned snuggling up to my chest. Usually I would object but I didn't see the use of making myself suffer, I'm being unbelievably selfish lately. Oh well, she doesn't seem to mind. "how was your sleep?"

"always best when you're holding me." she smiled at me scarlet taking over her cheeks. I knew I was grinning like a mad man, but I couldn't help it. I loved it when she blushed, not to mention the fact that she said she slept better than usual.

"the night was rather enjoyable for me too." I kissed her forehead, moving away not wanting to push my limits.

"no," she whispered. I looked at her questioningly. "I want you to kiss me for real." I obeyed her. I didn't have a choice, even if I did that would have been my choice.

I pressed my lips against hers, she was so soft and unbelievably warm. I stroked the side of her and laid back down beside her. She closed her eyes and snuggled me.

After I was sure she was sleeping again she whispered something, I was sure she was sleep talking until I saw her fingers twitch intertwined with mine. "in a day we will be married, tomorrow and tomorrow night I wont be able to see you. In fact I wont see you until the wedding." she frowned and smiled at the same time, I wasn't sure how that worked but I didn't know how else to describe what she was doing.

"yes I am aware, and its today actually. Tomorrow we will be married and we'll be off on our honey moon." she kissed my ear, shivering. I know what that meant to her. I know what it meant to me.

"are you happy Edward?" I looked at her, I couldn't help but wonder what she mean by that.

"of course, what do you mean Bella?"

She hesitated and I focused, knowing it was completely pointless, I was never going to be able to read Bella's mind no matter how hard I tried. I tried hard. "um, well. With me Edward? Are you happy with me. Are you happy with the fact that I'm abnormal and the fact that I attract danger. What if when I change I take my extreme danger quality to the vampire world and it just brings more trouble what if.." I didn't get it. I understand what she meant what she was talking about of course I was happy with her.

"Bella you ask the strangest and dumbest questions. You ask questions you already know the answer to." I smiled at her kissing her soft lips again. I wanted to be here forever and never stop being here. "of course I'm happy with you, I don't mind that you're abnormal I like it. It makes you different from every other girl I love you for that. If you bring over your calling for danger to the other life then we'll just have to fight harder wont we?" I forced a laugh praying she takes her amazing way of smelling good or blushing over to the dark side and not her calling of danger. It would definitely make things easier for us.

As if anything was ever easy for us. It never made since for her to love me, a monster. Even in her dreams I am a monster. I shook at the thought glad she loved me no matter what that meant. Even if it meant she was insanely out of her mind, I could live with that. I just feel like she deserves better than me, all the time and….my thought was cut short by her expression it was hard and I could only imagine what she was thinking.

"what are you thinking?" I stared into her eyes trying to force it out bye dazzlement.

She exhaled much to loudly, but I wasn't complaining her breath smelled divine. "about how I don't deserve you." I started bellowing. I couldn't help it, that had to prove something and not only that she was in fact insane but we were soul mates. "what's so funny?" she looked up at me, glared may be the better word.

"nah, nah…YES! I..I.." I couldn't stop laughing, I wasn't sure why now. She just made me so happy.

there seems to be great pleasure going on above me…I think I'm going to puke…and I cant even puke.

What the hell is going on up there? Oh my GOD! Never mind I can live without that image!

I am feeling way to much happiness for it to be my own, I'm not even with my wife…

My sons finally happy, listen to him. Edward if your listening you shouldn't be you should be focusing on Bella.

And I thought Emmett and Rosalie were annoying, and bothersome…I suppose I've never seen Edward so…ecstatic? I'm not sure if that would be the right word for this specific situation butt..

I tuned out their thoughts, or I tried to. But they just made me laugh even harder. Bella looked like she was about to have a break down. I couldn't keep myself from laughing so I tried to send her a message, I pointed to her ring and pressed my finger to my lips then to it.

She stared at me sadly still. I breathed in and out calming myself, when a thought jumped into my head.

Eddiekenz has finally done the deed, I'm so proud to call him my brother!

I rolled over clutching my stomach, it hurt from the suppressive laughter. I didn't know where it came from I just feel so happy. I'm getting married, I suppose it didn't really dawn on me before, I was really doing it.

"EDWARD!" Bella was sobbing now, the uncontrollable laughter quieted and even the thoughts in the house were silenced. I pulled her in close to me.

"I'm sorry love, Bella, Isabella. I was just thinking the same thing." she chocked and starting bawling longer and harder the bed was shaking and her eyes were red.

"so you agree, I don't deserve you.." she managed through her tears.

"NO! absolutely not. I meant I was thinking the same thing, as in I don't think I deserve you. Can we please not speak of this any longer? You look exhausted." her smile looked forced but she kissed me then obediently laid down. I started humming her lullaby and before long she was limp and utterly beautiful in my arms.