-1 SECTION 5: ASTRONOMICAL THEORY PERTAINING TO THE PLANET IRK
Sorry for the long delay in posting a new section. I've had quite the busy week, getting married, going on a honeymoon, getting baptized, fixing a broken window on my truck…it's fortunate that I am able to be back so soon. But I will not abandon this thesis, nor my readers, so here is the long anticipated section 5. Enjoy.
For life to exist anywhere in the universe, there are several things which must be present. One of which is energy, in the form of a star, a sun. Without this energy, life as we know it would be impossible. It is highly unlikely that life could evolve or exist without it. As I have already stated, Irken physiology points to a planet that receives a great deal of radiation from space.
Next are the building blocks of life, the greatest of which must be (for the sake of argument) either carbon, or silicon. All life forms on earth are carbon-based, and while it makes for an interesting argument that there is a possibility that alien life forms could be silicon-based (and this IS possible), this would be rare in occurrence, and result in a rewrite of everything we know about biology. Thankfully, given that Irkens are so biologically similar to organisms from Earth, and are cellularly similar to humans enough for Zim to worry about Earth germs and foreign DNA fusing to himself as well as Dib, we can all breathe a sigh of relief that I don't have to write a lengthy thesis on silicon-based organisms, and can conclude that Irkens are carbon-based.
For life to exist, there must be a liquid. According to Hal Clement, noted astronomer and writer about life in space, the most likely candidates are the hydrogen-based molecules of water, methane, ammonia, and hydrogen fluoride. The latter is the least likely to be found on any planet as a liquid, as it reacts with oxygen and hydrogen, and simply produces water and a compound called silicon tetraflouride. (First Contact: The Search For Extraterrestrial Intelligence, 1990 Nal Books)
We already know that Irkens are violently reactant to water, so H2O is completely discounted as a possibility. We also know from the show that Irkens are air breathers, as we are, and a planet with methane oceans, aside from having to possess a laughably enormous gravitational pull to keep the methane liquid, would have an unstable atmosphere probably composed mostly of hydrogen and methane, in theory making any type of fire, let alone technology impossible (creating the slightest spark could result in dire consequences). The most likely of these four liquids to be the one found on Irk then, is ammonia. Given the right temperature and or pressure, ammonia forms a liquid, is chemically similar to water, and would still allow for oxygen to be present in Irk's atmosphere, as well as the development of carbon-based life forms to be entirely plausible.
Because we're talking about a world where ammonia forms rivers, lakes and oceans, other life would be far different from that found on earth. Because Irk would have to have a stronger gravitational pull than Earth, meaning it would have to be larger, most life would be short, and built near to the ground. Plants would probably consist mainly of wide shrubs, short grasses, and maybe, short, gnarled trees. Because of the intensity of the sunlight reaching them, plants would not need as much chlorophyll to carry out photosynthesis, and so, would probably be very pale by our standards.
The intensity of the sun or suns of Irk would undoubtedly make the planet very hot and dry. It would be mostly grasslands in its temperate zone, a wide band of blistering desert at its equator, and in a thin line between the temperate zones and the polar ice caps, possibly great jungles, tapering into deciduous forests, then tundra in a relatively short distance.
The sun or suns would be so intense, their rays would refract off of Irk's atmosphere, resulting in short, if any, nights. The skies would be red during the long twilights, and possibly through the nights as well.
A question was posed, I believe on one of my forums about how many moons Irk may have. Because it is so likely that Irk is far more massive than the Earth, it is highly possible that Irk has more than one moon. For evidence of this, we look to our own Solar System. Earth has one natural satellite. Mars has two. The larger planets, Jupiter and Saturn, have many moons, and even rings formed by rock and small chunks of ice and other cosmic debris. So if Irk is much bigger than us, its gravitational field probably has the power to support several moons, though three or four would be the maximum amount that could be present orbiting the planet.
We can now imagine Irk: A large planet of hot, dry days, beneath a fierce sky at day, and a red sky of several moons at night. Rolling grasslands for thousands of miles, perhaps broken periodically by lakes of sparkling, but toxic (to us) liquid ammonia, and fetid swamps of strange creatures and reeking ammonia vapor. Such a nice place to live.
There it is, my scientific opinion on what the planet Irk is like. Now by this point, I know the drill, and I'm prepared for much argument. But I assure you, just like the rest of this work, these theories are based on real world laws and axioms, and appear herein because they are the most logical conclusions.