Chapter 2: In Which the Real Story Begins
"It's not that I don't understand why we need the bill, I do, but I like my life the way it is. I don't want to get married, let alone start popping out babies."
Harry and Ginny Potter sat listening to their dear friend complain about the Marriage Act of 2003. Their children, Ron, JS, and Molly had been put down for the night, although Molly's next feeding was due in an hour.
"It's just that… it's only been two years or so since I've even been interested in dating again, and it's not like anyone I've been out with has set my heart aflutter," Hermione said.
"What about that American you took up with when you were teaching magic at the Watcher's Council?" Ginny asked.
"Xander, oh, he was sweet, but the more I thought about it, the more I was just trying to replace Ron. Plus, he had no magical talent. I haven't checked the law word for word, but I bet we're not supposed to go reducing our chances of producing Wizard children by marrying Muggles," Hermione answered.
"Well," Harry began to turn a delicate shade of pink, so Ginny jumped in to rescue him.
"How about us? We could marry you."
Hermione smiled at her friends, her look suffused with love and regret. "That's very kind, but I know you want to be with each other. I'd just be a third wheel. I want a husband of my own. I am curious about something, since being an Order of Merlin First Class Hero of Vold War II hasn't saved me from needing to reproduce. In fact, I've been getting owls from Percy for years about how we need all the strong Wizarding blood we can get in the gene pool. How have you two managed to stay married just to each other? I'm surprised not to see Percy and his harem here every night dangling potential extra spouses while extolling the virtues of many wives. What's he up to now, three?"
"Will you keep a secret? In fact, this may be useful for you to know, maybe you can swing something with Percy the same way," Ginny said.
"Only Ron is both of ours," Harry added. "JS and Molly are both Ginny's but by different fathers. And, if you stay at Hogwarts for another decade, you'll see a few more kiddies with black hair and green eyes wandering the halls."
Hermione looked shocked for a moment, but Ginny continued on, "We don't want our kids to know that they aren't full brothers and sisters. Percy can be pretty persuasive about the whole need-for-as-much-genetic-dilution-as-possible. He tells us that the 'Marriage' part of the new marriage act is to help counteract the fact that so many of the children being brought up today are orphans or have only one parent. They're trying to set up families so that we don't end up with a whole generation that doesn't know how to be married."
"Anyway, perhaps he'd let you use the same dodge. Donate a bunch of eggs, let them do their spell work on it, and voilá, no need for Hermione to get married," Harry said.
Hermione grimaced. "Ick. That's even less appealing. If there are people out there who are half me, I'd like a chance to know them. No offence, Harry."
"None taken. Besides, I'll be teaching all of them Defense Against the Dark Arts. And, I know their families. We won't be close, but we won't be strangers either."
Two days later, an Owl from the ministry showed up at Hermione's window. It had a small packet of official looking papers covering all the ins and outs of the new law. She could marry or move. She could find her own husband or fill out a questionnaire and the Ministry would send her a list of everyone who matched her criteria.
She fiddled with the paper while thinking about her options. She had lived in America for a year, and she knew The Watcher's Council would welcome her back. She had moved her parents to Australia when she was on the trail of Voldemort, and they had liked it enough that they had stayed. Either way, she could find a place with a view of the beach.
But she liked Scotland. She liked the weather. She liked the people. She liked her job at Hogwarts. She especially liked her job at Hogwarts. She taught Arithmancy, so she only had to deal with the best and the brightest students. And for those seventh years that really excelled, she had begun classes on wandless magic. She sighed, thought more about her job, and began to fill out the questionnaire.
A month later, when she was expecting to receive her results, she received a personal invitation from Percy to discuss said results.
He sat at his astoundingly tidy desk. Yes, it was piled with papers and reports, but each and every one of them was precisely placed and orderly. "I wanted to give you these in person, and add a bit of explanation as to how you got this result." He handed her the paper, and allowed her to read.
She almost shot out of her chair and ran away when she read the result. Instead she calmed herself down, and said, "Percy, you have got to be kidding! This is my best match? It can't be right. You've rigged this to get me to marry one of one of your brothers."
He smiled gently at her. "Hermione, as much as I would love you to marry one of my brothers, or if you feel like sharing, I've got extra room at home…" He noticed her glaring daggers at him and gestured elegantly at the paper in her hands. "But I digress. He really is your best match, and by quite a bit, and although I shouldn't tell you this, you are his. You are 70.42 percent compatible, and his next highest person is 32.8 percent."
Hermione looked down at her paper and sighed from the depths of her soul. "Yes, and my next highest, at slightly over 40 percent, isn't all that much better." She sat and thought for a moment. Australia, warm, bright sunshine, beaches, no Marriage Act. On the downside her parents would live within easy visiting distance.
Thinking of her parents spawned an idea. "But… he's old enough to be my father."
Percy shook his head with a tight, precise motion. "Barely. I know it's hard to realize, but he is only forty-four. There are less than 200 single wizards left in Britain over the age of thirty and under fifty. Add to that your specification of never married, and the number drops to seventy-three. I took the liberty of weeding out the gay men, thinking you might like an actual marriage as opposed to a baby breeding arrangement, and the number fell further to twenty-six. Of that twenty-six, he's the one that matches up best with you. Use the information however you like: marry him, marry someone who already has a wife, or move abroad and avoid the law. No one will force you to stay, but if you want to be part of this society, you have to contribute to it. Just like taxes, only a bit more personal."
Hermione continued to stare at her paper. She sighed heavily and left his office without a word of farewell. Percy went back to his mounds of paperwork. He didn't know how long had passed before he felt the familiar raising of the hair on the back of his neck that told him a ghost was near. He did look up when he heard the voice come from behind him.
"It's done, then?"
"Yes, it's done, but why you wanted me to do it, I'll never understand." Percy turned and stared at the ghost, still uncertain what he had done was for the best.
"Simple, I am rectifying my last mistake. I did not expect either of them to survive, so I did not plan any sort of…" he paused, "happy ending, if you will, for them. I think though, if they are willing to go through with it, this will work nicely."
Percy raised his eyebrows at the translucent shade of Dumbledore. "You think this will provide a 'happy ending.'"
"As close as anyone gets to one. They matched up of their own accord. All you had to do was take out the few closest runners up."