Chapter 27: In Which Hermione Has Tales for Ginny

"...and then he said, 'I wouldn't have it any other way.'"

"How cute!" Ginny said, sitting on Hermione's couch in her office. Hermione was enjoying her free hour between her last round and dinner by chatting with her friend.

"So Severus Snape, Black Bat of the Dungeons, The Greasy Git, Five Time Winner of the Son of A Bitch Club's Outstanding Achievement Award, is a master of the vertical and horizontal mambos."

"I don't know about master, but he's certainly pretty damn good. It's kind of interesting, having sex with a guy who's done it with someone else before. Less fumbly." Hermione thought about last night. "I hope I lived up to what he was looking for."

"You were there naked. That's all he's really looking for."

"You sure?"

Ginny grinned. "Well, it's not like I've made a poll of all the guys I know. And I certainly haven't asked Snape specifically, but it seems like everything beyond you naked is just icing on the cake."

"But what if icing is what he likes best?" Hermione was starting to get a case of the post-coital doubts. Ginny wanted to laugh about it, but decided not to, it took seven years for her friend to risk this kind of intimacy with another man. She wasn't about to do anything that might hurt that.

"He made breakfast for you?"

"Yes."

"He was happy to see you in the morning?"

"Yes."

"He's coming to the Burrow tomorrow?"

"Yes."

Ginny shook her heard. "You did just fine. But, if you feel a need for 'icing,' get on your knees and offer him some next time."

Hermione blushed. "I've never done that before."

"Never?"

"It's not like Ron and I had scads of private time while we were hunting Voldemort. We used our free time for other things."

Ginny winced at the mental image of her brother and her friend. "I probably didn't need to know that."

"Well, I'm not the one who asked." Hermione fiddled with her drink. "So, what do I do with it while I'm on my knees?"

Ginny grinned. "Ever eat an ice lolly?"

Hermione nodded. Then her eyes widened. "Oh."

"Yeah, it's not human to animal transfiguration. He starts to make happy noises, keep doing what you're doing. Not enough happy noises then suck harder and move your head more. Use your hand as a buffer if he's gagging you." Hermione raised an eyebrow. Ginny used her hand to show her what she meant.

"I can do that."

"If you aren't going to swallow, you'll want to practice an extremely focused version of the vanishing spell."

"Do you swallow?" Hermione looked very curious.

Ginny grin grew bigger. "Yes, Harry loves it. He's usually very… appreciative… afterwards." Ginny stopped to think. "It makes sense really; call it the Oral Sex Golden Rule, 'Do unto him as you would have him do unto you.' You don't want him wiping off his tongue and going 'ick' right after, so don't do it yourself."

Hermione sat on the sofa staring out her window, not really seeing anything. Ginny smiled, remembering back to the time before she had done it to Harry and was still debating it in her head. Eight years! Has it really been that long?

After another minute she decided to bring her friend back to the present. "So, he's coming tomorrow?"

Hermione blinked and shook her head slightly, as if clearing cobwebs. "Yes, I was sure that after telling him he need not come to any of these that he'd stay home, but he wants, well, maybe not wants, but he's going to come."

"Severus Snape at the Burrow. Wow. Who would have thought?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "I know. Who would have thought?"

"Have you told my mum yet? Better yet, have you told your mum yet?"

"I was going to floo Molly after dinner, before my next rounds. As for my mum… I told you about the fit she threw about the law and how she all but wanted to kidnap me out of the country calling it a 'barbaric anti-woman tragedy.'"

"Well, she's not necessarily wrong."

Hermione sighed. That was the worst part about arguing with her mother about this, she was right. "I know that, but the law isn't nearly as bad as she thinks it is. She's sure that tomorrow or the next day we'll no longer be citizens, the men will start shackling us to the cooker, stealing our wands, and banning us from Hogwarts." She paused, sipped her drink, and spoke again, "Anyway, I'm not sure how she'll react to any man I met through this law, and I'm not all that eager to find out."

"Well, technically you didn't meet him through the law."

"Yeah, I'm not sure, 'Mum, he used to be my Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor' is a real improvement. She'll have visions of him trying to take advantage of me at fifteen."

"How about he was one of your colleagues in the Order?"

"That's better, but you know she didn't really like the whole Order thing either. 'Vigilante justice. Why do you have to risk your life? Let the Ministry handle it.'" Hermione mimicked her mother. "I'll just go with the truth, and deal with the fall out. But I'll be damned if I'll bring him to meet them if she's going to be nasty about it. Enough of my friends have good reasons to not like him, I'm not about to subject him to my mother's bad ones."