Jack was still awake at dawn and his hip and legs were throbbing, but he had made up his mind about the pain meds. No more. He could deal with it without resorting to drugs. That was final.

He waited impatiently for Sam to wake, watching the clock and thinking. His thoughts were a whirlwind of the accident, and his future, darkened by pain.

By the time Sam woke up he was in a 'right foul mood' as his mother would have said.

"Good morning," she said with a smile

"What's so good about it?"

"Didn't sleep well?"

"Would it matter?" he snapped.

"Jack, what's wrong?"

"Carter, can you put yourself in my place for just a damn minute?"

He hadn't called her Carter since they got engaged and it was a verbal slap. She looked down at her feet and didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Jack?" she finally said, "You need to stop riding the self-pity train and concentrate on getting better. You have been through a lot, no one could say you haven't, but this attitude isn't you at all and you need to lose it."

Before he could say anything more she got up and left him there without a word as to whether or not she'd be back.

"Let her go," Jack muttered to himself.

He sat with his arms crossed over his chest biting at his lip and snapping at anyone who came into the room. The nurses, Doctor Compton, and even Sam when she showed up again an hour later.

"Nice to see your mood has improved," she sighed.

"Nice to see yours has too," he yelled.

He was in a lot of pain by now, and it was visible on his face. It was pale and pinched looking.

"Oh my God," Sam said, "You macho jackass, you aren't using the pain meds, are you?"

"What does it matter to you?"

"I love you, that's what it matters," she argued.

"I don't need them, ok?"

"No, it's not ok. Listen to yourself. You are snapping at everyone. You can't be like this for the next two weeks, or, are you trying to drive everyone away?"

Jack said nothing.

Before he could stop her Sam reached over and pressed the button.

"That was a dirty rotten move," Jack said with a snarl.

"It matched your dirty rotten attitude, the ends justify the means. Now if you feel they are giving you too much medicine, talk to the doctor. If you just want to be an ass, let me know and I can go back to the lab now."

Jack was silent, literally biting his tongue to keep from telling her to go. It was truly the last thing he wanted he just wasn't going to show anymore weakness.

"Talking to the doctor is my decision, not yours," he said, his voice a bit softer.

She tried to take his hand but he pulled away.

"So this is how it's going to be now?"

He said nothing.

"All right, here, let's do it this way," she said.

She went to the shopping bags she had brought in yesterday and carried all of them to the bed.

"This one has four Tom Clancy books, here are the playing cards you wanted. I thought you might have fun with this," she said handing him a playstation portable game.

"Here is a collection of 1970's music you should like. It'll play on your DVD player. Is it ok if I stay at your house for a while?"

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had he actually pushed her too far?

"Suit yourself," he said, his pride choking back any other words.

"I'll come see you tonight," she said, leaning forward and quickly brushing his cheek with a kiss. Then she was out the door.

"Carter, c'mon!" he called out to her, but she didn't answer.

That seemed like the longest, worst day of Jack O'Neill's life. Even with the option of all the new gadgets Sam had brought him he was miserable. He stopped snapping at the nurses the minute he had to ask for their help, and it seemed like he was asking for their help every few minutes. He was still rude though.

The dose of pain meds he got when Sam hit the button hit his system pretty fast and he dosed fitfully for a while, after that he was a nightmare again.

The older nurse that had been on duty yesterday was not putting up with his attitude though.

"Mister O'Neill," she told him, "if you keep this up I'll get an order from Doctor Compton to sedate you for your own good."

That settled him down some, he didn't know how serious she was.

He kept watching the clock and hoping that Sam would come back. He was in for a long wait, she didn't return until seven that evening.

The first thing he did was apologize.

"Sorry, Sam," he said as soon as she walked in.

"It's ok," she said but he got the distinct impression that it wasn't ok at all.

"I messed up and I'm sorry,"

"It's ok, Jack. You're going through a lot right now. In your situation I would have said and done a lot worse. So don't worry."

He still wasn't reassured, but he let it drop.

"So how was your day?" she asked him.

"Long and boring, yours?"

"About the same. I cleaned your house, the dust bunnies and cobwebs were taking over."

"I'm their leader," Jack said with a deadpan expression.

Sam chuckled.

"Have you decided to use your meds or not?"

"No, I haven't decided. You know I don't like them."

"I know, but you really need too use them in this case."

"I'll take it under advisement," he sighed.

"Fair enough, I suppose, at least you aren't biting my head off tonight."

"Will you help me do some things while you are here?" he asked.

"You know I will, what do you need?"

"Batteries in the PSP and--"

Sam laughed, "I thought you were going to ask for something difficult."

She set up his game, put his books in reach and moved the bag with his DVDs in it closer as well.

"Got you settled in now?" she asked with a smile.

"Yeah, thanks. Think I can get a kiss?"

"Sure," she said, leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips.

"You call that a kiss?" he said in a mocking tone.

She leaned again and kissed him deeply this time.

"Much better," he whispered when she broke the searing contact of their mouths.

"Have you seen the doctor yet tonight?" Sam asked, looking a little shaken.

"No, he hasn't been in yet. I was kinda rude to him this morning."

"Jack, you were kinda rude to everyone this morning. Why so?"

"I just feel like I'm going out of my mind already. What will the next few months be like?"

"I think you'll have a lot of days like today," came the doctor's voice from the doorway.

"Doc," Jack said straining to be civil.

"Mister O'Neill, what seems to be troubling you most, pain?"

"I think I'm getting too much pain medication. It makes me sleep all the time and I don't like that."

"Ok, we can take you off the button machine and I'll write an order for an IV injection when you feel you need one, how does that sound?"

"Sounds ok," Jack said.

"Now I want to see your legs," he said, flipping the blankets up and un-fastening the removable casts on Jack's shins.

It was the first time Jack had seen his legs since the accident and he was appalled. Both his shins were swollen and purplelish-black. He could see the small incisions where the bones had been pinned back together and in all it looked grotesque.

"Oh God," Sam said softly. It was the first time she had seen them too.

"And everyone wonders why I'm so grouchy," Jack muttered.