Finalhybrid: Awesome! And here's the next part just for you :P
More Than Love
Part 3
This wasn't where she wanted to be. She hadn't been here since that faithful night six long months ago and the last place she wanted to be was at the Bait Shop. Marissa stood frozen at the entrance, unable to move any further as she thought about running into her former love interest.
But who was she kidding? She knew deep down she wanted nothing more than to see the beautiful blonde that still held her heart. Marissa had long ago accepted the fact that no matter how many dates she went on, how many people she'd be with, no one would ever take Alex's place. She was the love of her life. Simple as that and there was nothing she could ever do about it.
Taking a deep breath, Marissa made her way inside and leaned over the rail. Seeing no sign of Alex anywhere, she made her way down the spiral staircase and towards the bar. After being served her drink, she took a seat on one of the stools and turned towards the newly built stage situated at the end of the dance floor. That was the reason Marissa decided to come. A friend had told her about the live gigs that took place once a week there and she'd been curious to check it out. And as she patiently waited for the show to start, she couldn't help reminiscing on the various concerts Alex used to take her to…
She was brought out of her reverie however, when the music suddenly faded out and a single spotlight lighted the stage. She noticed the black piano sitting in the center and found herself getting excited for the first time in months. But as she felt her mobile vibrating in her bag and turned her gaze down to look for the device, she missed the figure slowly making their way onto the stage and taking a seat at the piano. Applause rung in the air as Marissa hurriedly replied to the text message, annoyed at the interruption, and threw her phone back into her purse. But all movement stopped as her breath caught in her throat the moment a very familiar voice started filling the air.
"She doesn't smile like me
She doesn't make you weak
And she'll never know how to make you laugh
But she won't make you cry, she'll never break your heart like I used to
If you only knew all the words I couldn't say…
When I close my eyes I see you
In my dreams you will be near
Won't let you disappear
But I'm here on my own
When I close my eyes and listen
I am crying out for you in the center of my heart
But I'm here on my own.."
Alex, Marissa couldn't help saying to herself. Though the blonde had never left her mind, she never thought she'd see her again. It felt surreal that after all the times she'd already postponed going to the Bait Shop, she had decided to come when the love of her life was performing onstage, singing a song that no doubt was dedicated to her (as Marissa had learned from a friend that Alex had never attempted dating after she'd left).
She could see a change in Alex. The arrogance she'd become accustomed to was no longer there and instead she saw only sadness and regret. And although this saddened the brunette, a small smile formed on Marissa's face as she finally realized the toll their breakup had taken on Alex.
"You used to hear me breathe
When you touched me deep
Can you hear the sounds?
Can you feel the heat?
I was just too scared to let you own the deepest part of me
I've left paradise
And I did not even say goodbye…
When I close my eyes I see you
In my dreams you will be near
Won't let you disappear
But I'm here on my own
When I close my eyes and listen
I am crying out for you in the center of my heart
But I'm here on my own
I think I'm over you
But it's not true
It's just a lighter shade of blue
I think I'm over you
But it's not true
It's just a lighter shade of, a lighter shade of blue…"
A tear ran down Alex's cheek as the last verse left her lips. She'd been dreading this performance for weeks, but she was glad she finally got to let it out…
Singing had become almost therapeutic and as she'd been keeping everything bottled up, she had a lot to work with when she started songwriting. And of course, it was no surprise that everything she wrote revolved around Marissa, the girl she'd let slip away...
When the applause slowly brought her out of her thoughts, Alex forced a smile as she gazed over the cheering crowd. But everything suddenly froze as Alex locked eyes with the unmistakable warm greens of none other than Marissa.
Her blood started pumping furiously in her veins and she could hardly breathe. After all this time, she was finally gazing at Marissa… and she looked as beautiful as ever…
She couldn't help herself. She ran off the stage and forced her way among the crowd towards the bar. She couldn't bare this being an illusion and nearly fell over as she halted right in front of Marissa. And although ecstatic to once again be in Marissa's presence, Alex was somewhat (pleasantly) surprised to find that Marissa hadn't made an attempt to leave.
They just stood there, staring at each other with silent longing. There was no mistaking them for anything but lost lovers.
Pushing through her nerves, and knowing this would probably be her only opportunity to talk to Marissa, Alex gulped before letting out a silent, "Hey"
God that sounded pathetic, she thought as Marissa just nodded softly in response.
There was no use beating around the bush. Neither one had ever been a fan of small talk. So Alex motioned towards the exit and after receiving another nod from Marissa, they left the club.
Both remained silent as they walked towards the pier. Alex kept stealing glances at Marissa and as the brunette casually leaned against the railing, Alex stood amazed at how even the simplest of movements still caused countless of feelings to stir within her.
"What are you thinking about?" Marissa softly whispered, her gaze still straight ahead.
"You…" Alex replied honestly, "How beautiful you are…"
She could see a sad smile appear on Marissa's face and for a moment she smiled too. But just as quickly, that smile vanished and Alex finally tore her eyes from the brunette. She leaned against the railing as well, making sure to leave enough distance between them.
"I'm sorry…" the blonde whispered.
Marissa sighed. "I know you are…"
Struggling with her words, Alex tried asking, "How's umm…" but seeing the look Marissa was giving her, she instantly said, "I'm sorry… it's none of my business…"
She could tell Marissa was starting to get frustrated, although she was trying not to show it. It was one of the things Alex had always loved about Marissa… and taken advantage of…
"You finally got over your stage fright…" the brunette stated.
Alex nodded. "Because of you"
Marissa glanced at Alex and their eyes locked once more. But once again, Marissa turned away.
"It was beautiful…"
"I meant it Marissa…" Alex stated firmly, "I haven't stopped thinking about you…"
"Alex…"
"Marissa please… just let me say this…" Alex pleaded desperately.
Marissa appeared to be weighing her options as she focused on the dark horizon in front of them. Letting out a breath, the brunette turned to face the blonde and crossed her arms over her chest as she waited to hear what she had to say.
"I'm sorry…" Alex started, "I'm so so sorry…"
"What exactly are you apologizing for?" Marissa asked, her serious expression intimidating Alex profusely.
"For letting you down…"
"Letting me down?!" Marissa asked in disbelief, "Alex you did far more then let me down..."
Alex gulped nodding. She'd never seen this side of Marissa before and it was making her feel smaller by the minute.
"I know… and I'm sorry… I'm sorry for not being there for you. I'm sorry for not showing you how much you mean to me. I'm sorry for making you feel unwanted…"
"Unwanted?" Marissa asked somewhat amused at Alex's choice of word, "Try unimportant, insignificant… and inexistent…"
"Marissa I…"
"Do you have any idea how much you truly hurt me?" Marissa asked harshly as she advanced towards Alex, "How much it killed me every time I saw you flirting with those girls?"
"I…" Alex let out as she stumbled slightly taking a step back.
"Did you even care how I felt? Or did you just assume I'd never do anything about it?"
Alex had no reply. For the first time ever she was rendered speechless out of fear by Marissa.
"That's what I thought…" Marissa then whispered, "Do you have any idea how painful it is not to be with you? To still love you even after everything you've put me through?"
"I'm sorry…" Alex said again. Tears were rapidly forming in her eyes and she couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Sorry doesn't cut it Alex…" Marissa whispered before turning around and walking away.
"Marissa please!" Alex begged as she quickly caught up with Marissa and grabbed her arm, "Please Marissa I love y-"
"Don't" Marissa cut her off harshly as she suddenly stopped walking and turned around angrily to face the blonde, "Don't you dare say it…"
Not knowing what else to do, Alex threw her arms around Marissa, holding onto her for dear life.
"Alex let go of me!" Marissa demanded as she struggled to free herself from the blonde's grasp.
But Alex wouldn't budge. She shook her head in response and wrapped her arms around her tighter while crying out, "I'm sorry… Marissa I'm so sorry…"
"Alex let go of me!" Marissa yelled as she roughly pushed Alex away from her.
Alex stood there broken as Marissa gave her a look of disgust before once again turning around.
With panic written all over her face, Alex could only think of one final attempt to show Marissa how much she truly loved her. She ran up to Marissa and once again grabbed her arm. She roughly turned her around and crashed her lips against the brunette's. But the moment Marissa regained her footing, she instantly pulled away and slapped Alex hard across the face.
Both had tears in their eyes as Alex held a hand over her burning cheek. But without a second thought, she grabbed Marissa yet again and pulled her into another kiss. Alex couldn't help letting out a strangled moan as she felt Marissa's hands cupping her face this time. And as the kiss intensified, Alex wrapped her arms around Marissa's waist, pulling her as close to her as physically possible.
When breathing became an issue and they finally broke the kiss, their eyes locked for a moment as fresh tears started falling and they held each other close in a tight embrace.
"I'm sorry…" Alex couldn't help whispering once again, "I'm so sorry… please forgive me… please… I love you Marissa…"
Marissa let out a shaky breath as she chocked a sob before ever so softly whispering in Alex's ear, "I love you too"
A/N: the song Alex sings is "Here On My Own" by Sweetbox