Chapter 63: In Which The Men Confer
Arthur Weasley almost fell out of his chair when he heard the voice at his floo.
"Arthur? May I come over? I need some help," Severus asked him.
He shook his head, blinked, and responded, "Certainly, Severus." A moment later, Severus was sitting in the kitchen at the Burrow. "What can I do for you?"
Severus took a deep breath. "This is somewhat embarrassing, but with four married sons, I'm guessing you've done this before. I need to know about Bride Prices: how it works, what I'm supposed to do, and if you have any insight into what to do in regards to the Grangers specifically. Percy's pamphlet tells me I need to get them to sign something to show they've received it, but it doesn't help me to figure out what is an appropriate Bride Price."
"Oh. Thorny issue that. The Grangers, I mean. We'll probably need to get Harry over here for that. Bride Prices are pretty easy. Well, let's start at the beginning. You understand the basic concept?"
Severus nodded. "Give her parents money."
"Once upon a time, yes. Not so much now. Way back when the custom started, most girls worked for their family, and then when they married, they started up a new business of some sort with their husband or joined his family's business. The point of the Bride Price then was to make sure you didn't impoverish her parents by taking her skills away. Nothing like sticking the in-laws in the poor house to ensure smooth family relations.
"Now, technically at that point this was just a matter of custom and courtesy. Then the landed families wanted a way to make sure they had complete control over who their offspring married. Soon it became a matter of law. But enough of the unlanded families were able to make sure that the Bride Price could not stop two people from being married. That's why any binding muggle ceremony is acceptable as well. It protects our children from their parents.
"So that's the history lesson. These days it's usually some sort of gift that tells her parents your intentions are good and that you are looking forward to joining her family to yours. A pile of Galleons is considered in bad taste unless she is actually part of a family run business and you are going to take her away from that. Unless Hermione became the star dentist of her parent's practice when I wasn't looking, you won't be in that situation."
Severus nodded. "Which still leaves the question: what does one give the Grangers?"
"I don't know. Let's get Harry over here, he knows them better than I do, and we'll brainstorm."
Arthur flooed Harry, and got him up to speed.
Harry joined the men at the table, and Arthur poured drinks. Harry took a sip of his and said, "I don't envy you that. The Grangers…." he put his hand to his forehead, rubbed his temples for a moment, and then sighed. "Look, they aren't bad people. But, they aren't us. Hermione's got good reasons for not spending all that much time with them. They have a way of seeing the world, and for all I know it works for muggles, but it doesn't really work for us. But I'm getting off topic."
"Not really, it's nice to know what kind of dragons to expect when one walks into a cave," Severus added.
Harry nodded. Having known his in-laws since he was eleven he hadn't had the experience Snape was getting ready for, but he could imagine it. "Still, that doesn't help you with a Bride Price. Money to one of their charities might work. But they've got new ones so often it's hard to pick a good one, and they still might consider it an attempt to buy Hermione. And you do not want to make them think you are trying to buy Hermione. Which reminds me, don't ever call Hermione's mum Mrs Granger. Call her Jean or Dr Granger. She gets really annoyed if you call her Mrs Granger." Harry remembered what he had considered a polite address, but it had resulted in a fifteen minute lecture about women not being their husband's property, even if they did choose to take his name.
Snape nodded and sipped his drink. "She called them yesterday to tell them we were engaged, and her parents were less than thrilled. And they decided to try and test her by acting even less happy then they were. 'Sodding old git who's using you to stay in the country' was the nicest thing her mum had to say. I understand not being happy about this. I'm no one's first choice for a son-in-law. What I don't understand is pretending it's worse than it is to try and make Hermione drop me to keep them happy."
"Ouch." Harry winced. Arthur nodded in sympathy.
"They'll come around eventually. Molly's mum had a fit when we told her we had gotten engaged."
"Really?" Harry asked. Snape raised an eyebrow, somewhat curious as well.
"I'm not saying she had a bad reason for opposing the match at first. We had been out of school for two weeks. My job at the Ministry paid close to nothing. The first Vold War had started and her sons were fighting. She was afraid for them. Afraid I'd become a member of the Order and leave her daughter a teenage widow. Worse, a teenage widow with a baby to support." Arthur drank his butter beer. Both of the other men waited for him to continue the story.
"But she came around, shortly after Bill was born. By that point she was sure I wasn't going to go off and join the Order and get killed. Lucky for me, Molly's dad accepted my gift, and let us marry because otherwise we would have ended up having to wait until we were old enough by muggle standards. Which would have been about two months later than either of us would have liked."
Harry's eyebrows shot up.
Arthur glared kindly at Harry. "You married my daughter three weeks after she turned seventeen, you think I don't know why?"
Harry held his hands up, looking innocent. "We were married almost two years before Ron was born."
"If what Molly tells me is true, that was mostly a matter of luck."
Harry blushed. Snape chuckled. "So a Bride Price for my not-pregnant now or likely to be anytime soon bride?"
"Really?" Harry interjected. "You do remember the second bit of the law, right?"
"We'll have them if and when we're ready, and not a minute sooner. If that means time abroad, so be it. Now, bride prices, or anything else you can think of that may help ensure a peaceful first meeting of my future in-laws."
"They like cats," Harry said. "Crookshanks still lives with them, and I think they've got two other ones. So, maybe a kitten?"
Snape tried to imagine walking into the home of people he had never met before, bearing a kitten. He sighed. "Probably not. Do I look like the kind of person who gives away kittens?"
Harry started to laugh. When he could speak, he said, "Well, more now than you did back in school. I had the image of you from those days walking into the Granger's house with a little white Persian in your hands."
Arthur grinned. "Not kittens. I gave Molly's parents a portrait of her and her brothers. Her dad really liked it. Her mum did too, eventually. Especially after Fabian and Gideon were killed. It was the last picture of the three of them together. Her parents might go for something like that. Who knows how long it's been since they last got a picture of Hermione?"
"Last year," Harry answered. "They get a new shot of the three of them each year when she heads down to visit them."
"Not a portrait, then." Snape had been warming to that idea. Some of the shots from their vacation would have worked rather well. "What did you do?"
Harry pointed to the back yard. "Those rose bushes. I charmed them so they ward off Garden Gnomes. When Ginny married me, Molly lost the last of her Garden De-Gnomers. It seemed fitting."
"Most of my boys did plants of some sort as well. Nice symbolism of something new and alive. Do the Grangers have a garden?" Arthur asked.
"They do," Harry answered and began to smile. "They are avid gardeners, constantly trying to make little bits of England grow in Australia. All the home plans that like misty and cool just don't like Oz. It's too bright and hot and dry. That's something you could do, something they might like, something very British that just doesn't like it where they are."
Snape was smiling as well. "I have it on very good authority I've got some serious potential for green fingers. And I know for a fact that I make a very good fertilizer."
Arthur's eyes widened. Harry laughed and said, "I suppose that's one way of putting it." Snape deftly punched Harry on the arm while drinking his butterbeer. Not a drop spilled.
"So, besides a love of cats, and not calling her Mrs Granger, what else should I know?"
"Robert's very quiet. He just about fades into the background when Jean's around. But don't think that means she's leading him around. He's as involved and passionate about their ideas; he's just quieter," Arthur added.
"Comments about how smart Hermione is always go over well. Comments about how pretty she is do not. They like to talk about politics, and if you take the time to do some reading before you go, they'll appreciate that. They like it even better if you agree intelligently with them," Harry said.
"Who doesn't? However, I have no desire whatsoever to bone up on muggle politics, let alone Australian muggle politics."
"I don't blame you," Arthur said. "Especially since there are so many more interesting muggle things to study. Plugs, motorcycles, airplanes, computers, I've been looking into computers lately…" Arthur noticed both of the men looking oddly at him, and let the sentence trail off.
"Stay away from the war. They don't think it was a good idea. Well, maybe for you they would. You were an adult for Vold War II. They were vehemently against us being involved in it. Hermione had to wipe their memories and move them to Australia to be able to go with us for the Horcrux hunt." Harry took a drink of his butterbeer and shook his head.
"It's not exactly like Molly and I were all that thrilled about you three going off on the Horcrux hunt, either."
"Yeah, but you at least understood why it was important. Hermione's parents still think we should have sat it out and let the adults handle it."
"We understood why you did it the way you did, but Molly will never forgive Dumbledore and his 'only you kids could know' attitude. Trust me, had we had any choice in the matter we would have done it for you. No parent wants their child in danger." All three men were quiet. For the first time Snape realized how much the Weasleys, Molly especially, has lost over the course of the war.
Then Harry said, his voice purposely lighter than necessary, "Speaking of which, did I tell you Ron took his toy broom over the roof of the house, tried to do a roll, and almost fell off?"
"That must have been a sight." Arthur grinned at the image of his grandson flying over number 12 Grimmauld Place.
"Yes, my heart started beating again about two hours later. Ginny and I are currently the meanest parents in the world for taking the broom away."
"Yes, Molly and I also spent quite a while as the meanest parents in the world. Oh, there's another thing about the Grangers, Severus, they never said anything outright, but I always got the sense they didn't approve of Molly staying home with the kids. If you expect Hermione to do that, it's probably not a good idea to tell her parents about it."
Severus took another drink. Back to kids again. He and Hermione would need to get talking about that. They'd have to have some sort of answers for Hermione's parents. He was dwelling on that when he heard Harry's voice.
"So, what are you thinking of for your kids?" Harry asked.
"Wet nurse, governess, and boarding school followed by Durmstrang." Both of the others looked dumbfounded. "Calm down, I'm taking the piss. I have no idea. I'm not really sure we're having them anytime soon. We don't have a wedding date yet; kids are a long way off."
"No date?" Harry asked.
"She wants to do Halloween. I've been trying to shy her away from it without outright stating why. She'll feel silly when she remembers, but it's taking her long enough. Meanwhile I'm trying to get her to warm up to early October."
"I may be able to help with Halloween. She's helping with the kids tomorrow. I'll get Ginny to work on her."
"Thanks." The three of them sat quietly drinking. Finally Severus decided to ask about something he had heard about on the wireless last night, "So what's this I hear about Puddlemere United signing Victor Krum? I know he hasn't been on top form since the accident last year, but, Puddlemere United?" They spent the next hour or so talking Quiddich, drinking, and enjoying each other's company.