Disclaimer: I don't own CCS

Oh, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Recap: Tomoyo, who had a big crush on Touya, was heartbroken upon knowing that Touya was already engaged with Kaho. In her depressed state, Eriol asked her to pretend to be his girlfriend to separate the Touya-Kaho coupling so that they could have their 'lovers' back. And to this, Tomoyo had agreed.

Chapter 4:: The Gentlemen Criteria

Question No. 8: What is your favorite animal?

Tomoyo moved her pen and wrote on the space below.

- Cerberus. Or Spinel in his sugar-drunken attitude.

She contemplated. Could Kero or Spinel be classified as animals? Deciding the negative, Tomoyo scratched her previous writing and replaced them with… the word 'tigers' (She couldn't think any other animals that closest resemble them).

She frowned. She didn't exactly like tigers but…

Sighing, she decided to move to the next question.

Question No.9: Which do you like better to record? Sakura in usual uniform or Syaoran in frilly, pretty, pink, sexy French Maid outfit?

…

…

Tomoyo hesitated writing down the answer. Syaoran in frilly maid outfit would be hilarious beyond belief, but…well, she decided that she was always gonna be Sakura's # 1 fan, whatever that happened…

Question No.10: Who do you prefer? Yagami Raito or L?

Tomoyo frowned at the paper. Who the hell are they anyway?

Next question…

Question No.11: Which do you like the best to wear? Basic underwear or G-strings?

…

…

She put back the pen along with the paper and sighed, "Why am I doing this?"

Eriol looked up from his own paper and shrugged, "Because we've agreed that this is the way to know each other personalities and likeness?"

"And you're supposed to ask normal questions, Hiiragizawa, Like what I do on that sheet," she pointed to the paper on his hand.

He faked a perplexed expression and pointed at his-own-made list of question that was held in Tomoyo's hands. "But that is normal, isn't it, Daidouji-san?"

"Syaoran in maid outfit and G-strings? Are those normal for a get-to-know questionnaires?"
"Ah, but we aren't exactly strangers, Daidouji-san. And if the eleventh question amazes you already, you should look at question No. 34,"

She looked back at her list of questions.

Question No. 34: Which style do you prefer in bed? Missionary or doggy-style?

Tomoyo felt slight heat radiated to her cheeks. "You're a lunatic, Hiiragizawa. To know your partner better, you should ask normal questions like what I have written down to you in that paper," she pointed to the sheet that was held by Eriol.

"Favorite food, favorite song, favorite movies…" Eriol read the list from the paper. "Your list of questions is boring, Daidouji-san,"

"But that's proper,"

"Still boring,"

"Still proper," She retorted, but gave a sigh later. "You know what? This is my bad. I shouldn't have agreed to this idea,"

So yes, Hiiragizawa Eriol did call her that morning, asking her to come to his manor, so that they could "study each other personalities better in order to mission's succession". He had instructed her to prepare 50 questions on a piece of paper that would be exchanged with his version of 50 questions, and then they would have to answer the partner's questions. Good introducing activities actually, if only the doggy-style position question was excluded.

"Just answer those questions, Daidouji-san. What's the big deal?" Eriol calmly said. "This is for knowing each other better, remember?"

"Sure, and what does my bra size has to do with knowing each other?" she inquired as reading question No. 19.

"Well, that's important," he replied nonchalantly. "Although I don't really need to ask that to find out actually,"

Tomoyo carefully crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Don't you dare, Hiiragizawa…"

He chuckled.

The raven-haired woman could only lay her back to the soft cushion and studied the ala Hiiragizawa questionnaires. "I'm so sorry, but really, your questions are… indecent,"

Eriol heaved a sigh. "Then how am I going to get to know you better, Daidouji-san?" he stood up and seated himself next to her. She involuntarily jerked in alarm, while he only snickered more in amusement. He then casually played with the twirling end of her hair. "Don't make the situation difficult for both of us. Cooperate, will you?"

…

"Fine. What do you want me to do? Answer these questions?"

"Actually…" Eriol grabbed the paper from Tomoyo and put it away. "Instead of questionnaires, I'm thinking that an interview will be more adequate," he raised his hand to caress her cheek, but Tomoyo realized sooner and quickly dodged. She could hear him clicked his tongue in disapproval and a low mutter of 'no fun'. "I'm being serious here, Daidouji-san. If you keep on avoiding me like that, how will we able to convince the other that we are a pair?"

"You don't have to worry about that. I'll behave myself like your lover in front of other people,"

He raised an eyebrow. "Ah, of course. I forgot that I'm facing Tomoeda's top 'actress'. Alright, alright…" he pulled his legs up and sat Indian-style on the couch. "Let us do the introduction correctly, ne? Since I know that you already know about all the Clow's stuffs, let's put them aside, and we'll learn better about the Hiiragizawa Eriol minus Clow's details,"

She nodded. "You can start talk about your interests, hobbies, and such,"

"Yes. My hobbies are… erm, let's see…smoking, having sex, teasing, ((Tomoyo frowned at each)). "The person whom I love to tease the most is my cute descendant. His Sleeping Beauty appearance is a forever classic,"

Tomoyo snickered at the memory of Syaoran wearing Sleeping Beauty gown at 5th grade. "Hear, hear,"

"I like sweets. I start smoking in Junior High –Clow never smoke, by the way. I'm not a good drinker –even most when compared to a certain Daidouji," he casted a mocking glance before continuing his monologue, "I like cats. That's why Clow as my previous life and me as the current Eriol both created guardians that resembled the certain animal. But in my late discoveries, I'm actually allergic to feline's fur,"

"You never sneeze whenever Kero or Spinel is around,"

"Well that's because I've made myself immune for those two. Though I sometimes still sneeze whenever Spinel rubs himself to me,"

"… Alright. Now you may perhaps talk about the couple criteria? Your ideal girlfriend types, your favorite date place, et cetera…"

Eriol paused and took the time to think for some moments before his head snapped up and replied her, "Physical appearances… I like tall woman, I don't really like girl with pale complexion, I like woman with warm-tone eye color… preferably honey or amber, I favor red hair for –"

"Hiiragizawa-san," she cut with a polite yet warning laugh. "You don't expect me to dye my hair, wear eye contacts, and burn myself for tanner skin just to match your Mizuki-san's figure, ne?"

He blinked. She concluded by his dumbfounded expression that he must have not realized how reliant he was actually to his ex.

…

"Aren't you tying yourself to Mizuki-san's image?" she blurted out before she realized that she might have pushed the wrong button –very wrong button. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. Of course Mizuki-san is –"

To her bewilderment, he actually grinned.

Grin. Casually.

And when she thought that Mizuki Kaho would be a grim subject…

"Perhaps you're right," he chuckled. "I may be just tying myself to Kaho's image,"

She smiled. Seeing him this relaxed made her comfortable too. And for the first time since their first encounter after his 12 years leaving, she felt that this was the guy whom she actually knew.

"But on the second thought…" he added. "I don't mind woman with pale complexion, violet eyes, and ebony hair…"

She knew that she might be his 2nd most favorite person (after Syaoran) he loved to tease. Couple of weeks had passed since she discovered the real nature of Hiiragizawa, and Tomoyo knew she should have just ignored all his sweet nothings (because Hiiragizawa was such a flirter jerk, and she was supposed to act wiser to confront him) and be at her poise.

But in the reality, she couldn't prevent her blush.

He noticed this, and snickered. "You can't resist me, Daidouji-san. I am every girl's ideal type," he spoke, strangely without hints of arrogance, just simple confidence –as if he was just stating a normal fact.

But her Daidouji feminist self couldn't accept it. "Well, but you're certainly not my type,"

Eriol laughed. "You're just denying yourself, Daidouji-san,"

But her keen observation told her that beneath the superior laugh, she had bruised a spot on his man ego. Gotcha.

Tomoyo smiled calmly. "Now, who's denying whose self?"

"You're funny, Daidouji-san," he said with snickers. Her Daidouji eyes saw deeper than that. She had rubbed his patience and pride (yes, that damn Hiiragizawa pride) … Good… this is gonna be good…

"Hiiragizawa-san… I like guys who can act like gentlemen –"

"And who could be a better candidate than me?"

"Plenty,"

"Mention one,"

"Kinomoto Touya,"

His mood darkened.

"What's up with women and him?" he muttered. "I have everything that ice-block doesn't have! I can please girl, I'm more attractive, I have good sex-appeal, I'm more a gentleman than he is –"

"He's not boosting himself,"

That silenced him.

She suppressed her urge to snicker. This was the rare chance she could step on his high pride. Cruel, yes, but Hiiragizawa may deserve some lessons of modesty.

"And to me, being a gentleman doesn't always mean you have to flatter girl with beautiful compliments, poetry, or such things. Silence is gold. Words that are 'spoken' by eyes are more honest than –"

"B-but he's so… aloof! You won't be able to talk comfortably with him!"

"Hiiragizawa-san, on the contrary, an aloof guy can set women on fire easily. Cold demeanor, icy eyes, rare words… women won't be able to resist those…"

"That kind of guy won't be able to give you attention. You, women need attention. I can provide it for you!"

Now it was getting really hard to hold on her laughs. A furious, pride-injured Hiiragizawa Eriol was a very rare sight.

"What? Poetry, roses, on one-knee exclamation of undying love? Guys who court me need more efforts than that to melt my heart,"

"Then it means you're just impossible," he murmured.

And paused.

Before asking again, "So… what kind of attitude you want from a guy? What a guy needs to do that is 'gentlemen' in your eyes?"

She contemplated for some moments. "Instead of writing poetry, I want that guy to write a novel for me,"

He widened his eyes. "You're crazy,"

"Oh, I'm not. A gentleman must show how deep his love runs for the girl, and instead of short poem, shouldn't he just express his feelings into long narrative text?" she spoke without any deter.

"What the –"

"Better than roses or violets or any other flowers… I'd like the guy better if he can make…hmm let's see…ah! I see! I'd like him to present me a thousand paper cranes and write each individual cute love message on the folded papers,"

"That's insane! That completely wastes time. And papers. And ideas!"

"A gentleman must have patience and endless sacrifice for his girl,"

"Shit, you're sick, Daidouji. You are so sick –"

"And instead of one-knee exclamation of undying love… I'd love to see my boyfriend dressed up in cheerleaders outfit and do his love exclamations with pom-poms,"

…

…

"You're not expecting me to do those ridiculous things, right?" Eriol's face paled.

Tomoyo pouted playfully. "Aww… Hon, don't you wanna please your girlfriend?" and snickered.

Watching her snickers, he then blinked.

She laughed. "And I got the almighty Hiiragizawa Eriol to believe those. Such a blast,"

His mouth gaped open, and she laughed more.

"Damn you, Daidouji…" he growled. "I thought that you were being serious there…"

The violet-eyed woman grinned. "Nah, I don't need those things. Flowers, chocolates… those are great. Though cheerleading exclamation is even greater," she added and delightfully watched his horrified expression. "But I honestly don't have any criteria to make me fall in love with a guy. I'll just fall in love with the guy my heart has chosen. Simply that,"

Eriol thought about it for some moments. "Then your real soul mate would have hard time,"

"No, he wouldn't. It may be rough at the beginning, but things would just fall into place later,"

"You're weird, Daidouji-san,"

"You should say that to yourself, Hiiragizawa-san,"

He laughed.

And inside wondered himself.

He didn't remember to ever be this comfortable around Kaho.

Why?

And how?

"So, Hiiragizawa-san, are we going to continue the interview or not?" Her words stopped his trance.

He nodded slowly.

And decided to put away his previous thoughts.

He didn't need such distraction now.

To Be Continued

A/n: Took Raito and L from manga 'Death Note' –which I'm sure you all must have known already. This is a rather…crack chapter, I know. Sorry, but I need to make Eriol and Tomoyo be more comfortable towards each other.