Alright I'm really not happy with the lack of reviews. I have like none! Please if you read review or I won't keep going! Thankss!
Hope you enjoy this chapter! Oh the secrets that are coming out...
Since the fact that I turn into a werewolf once a month is something that is hard to cover up and the fact that Lys was exceptionally smart I knew it would be easier to just tell her. I wanted to tell her before we got too serious because I knew that if things did get serious and then I decided to tell her it may cause problems. Also I was giving her time to see me for what I was and letting her decide if she could still be with me knowing I was a werewolf.
The morning of the Hogsmeade Trip came and I was anxious, I knew that today was the day that would either make or break the future of our relationship. Lily and James had already left for Hogsmeade, yes together. Sirius and Sam were still down at breakfast, arguing over if they were going into the village together or not. Lys and I headed out after breakfast; back then security wasn't as tight as it has been lately. Being a seventh year they pretty much just let you go without even rummaging through the papers to see if your permission slip was signed. Oh the seniority.
We walked down towards the village hand-in-hand talking about anything and everything. I remember her smiling a lot that chilled autumn morning; I felt better watching her smile like that. She was wearing a simple white jumper with dark denim jeans and she had her Gryffindor scarf on. It was a very simple outfit but I loved it. Her eyes stood out spectacularly, I felt like the luckiest guy in the world with her hand interlaced in mine, knowing that finally after years of waiting she was mine. I couldn't help but smirk to myself every time I saw some younger bloke do a double take as we walked passed.
When we got into the village we headed into Honeyduke's first. I was never one to turn down chocolate and Lys was well aware of that. It was full of Hogwarts students buying truck loads of sweets to take back with them. If only they knew about the passage that led straight to the basement of candy shop. But they didn't, which made it even better in my Marauder way of thinking. Lys and I had been looking around, I had wandered over to the chocolate section which was located near the 'cruel and unusual sweets' section.
"Are you kidding me?" I heard Lys exclaim as she was looking at a package in her hand. "People are so cruel lately, why would you sell a product like this?" She said showing me what she was looking at after I broke away from my dilemma between Swiss dark or milk chocolate. She had found a werewolf repellant lollipop or something of the sorts that had a picture of a werewolf on it; I nodded and put the thing back down. I felt a mixture of emotions, I was happy that Lys had such strong feelings about it, but worried that her views might change after finding out I was one. "Are you alright?" Lys asked noticing the look on my face.
"I'm fine, can we talk somewhere?" I asked leading Lys out of the shop. Needless to say I gave up my conquests about which chocolate I felt like buying. I figured if I really need some later I'd just take a quick trip down the passage, I was sure Sirius would be up to it.
"Sure, Remus, where should we go?" Lys asked looking up at me, sounding concerned. I felt bad as I watched the look on her face change from disgust of the lollies to concern for me. I took her hand back in mine trying to reassure myself everything would work out.
"I know a place." I said with a reassuring squeeze of her hand. I took her to a grassy spot under a willow tree that was hidden from most of the public. Most people would wonder why I didn't take her to the shrieking shack, since that was where I went to transform, but quite honestly, being there once a month was very much enough for me. I sat down at the base of the tree, having her sit between my legs leaning up against me. She leaned her head back so it was resting on my shoulder as she looked out over the view that was before us. You could see the rolling hills that had turned from their summer greens to their autumn oranges and reds. "Lys?" I asked after a while.
"Mmhmm?" She said quietly, obviously enjoying the view, and I'd like to think the company as well.
"I love you." I said quietly, looking over and kissing her temple softly. For as slow as the past seven years had gone the past month was just flying by. We had only been together for a few weeks but already I felt confident enough to tell her those three special words. After a moment I watched a smile come to her lips.
"I love you too, Remus." She said softly and I heard the sincerity in her words. I was tempted to climb the tree, jump off, just to see if I could fly, because I was sure I could.
"Lys...I have to tell you something...just promise me that after I tell you, you won't just completely ignore me or anything?" I said trying to prolong the process of actually telling her.
"Remus, you're starting to worry me. I couldn't ignore you if I tried now what is wrong?" She asked seriously, looking up towards me. I could see the worry in her eyes and I felt bad since I was the one who put it there.
"Lys, I'm a werewolf." I said quietly, not looking down at her. There was a pause, since I wasn't looking at her I couldn't read her emotions. After what felt like an eternity she put a hand under my chin, making me look her way.
"Remus, you thought I would run off and ignore you because you told me you were a werewolf? How shallow do you think I am? I would never do that." She said in a way that made me feel bad for ever doubting her. "I mean you're a werewolf...alright, I didn't see that coming and I wish you weren't but I'm not going to stop loving you because of that. I love you for you, the person I see when I look at you not the thing you become once a month. I think I'm more upset that you thought I would not accept that." She said honestly.
"It's just I haven't told many people that throughout my school career and I know that it usually is something that is frowned upon by most." I said truthfully as I looked her in the eyes.
"I'm not most, Remus." Lys said honestly. "I'm not going to judge you because of it. Did you honestly think I would? Come on Remus, it's me."
"I know you're not like most people Lys. I feel bad now since I doubted you, I shouldn't have. I was just worried how you were going to take the news." I said quietly
"Don't feel bad. I love you for who you are werewolf or not." She said taking my hand in hers, that's when I noticed it. There was a pretty large black and blue mark on Lys' hand. I didn't know how she got it but was going to find out.
"Lys, what's that from?" I asked putting a gentle finger on her black and blue mark. Lys pulled her hand away, pulling the sleeve of her jumper over her bruise.
"I bumped it a couple weeks ago; when I bruise it tends to stay like that for a while it's because of the..." She paused.
"...Because of the what, Lys?" I asked scared of the answer really. It was my turn to show the concern in my eyes.
"Well, now that you told me that you were a werewolf, I have something to tell you." She said quietly.
"Yes?" I asked softly trying to figure out what was coming next.
Nothing, I repeat, nothing could have prepared me for what had come next, nor do I particularly like to think back on this day. It was one of the hardest days in my life. Everything changed that day, it was the first time in my life when I had to face reality like an adult and realize everything is not always what it seems. I was not ready for what I heard come from Lys' mouth that day. Disbelief flooded my entire body like a tidal wave as I soon went numb after she told me.
"I'm sick, Remus...very sick. I have leukemia, it's usually a muggle disease, I found out right before we came back fifth year." She said quietly. I stayed silent not knowing how to respond to that. "I have to get treatments over summer and Christmas holiday. I take medicine for it during the school year...I'm sorry I should have told you before, but I couldn't." She continued talking just to make up for my lack of it. She soon looked up at me. "Please, Remus, say something." She pleaded.
"I-It's just, you can't be sick, you are perfectly healthy and strong and beautiful…No, just no." I said not believing her. She smiled up at me, a smile that said 'I've done this before.'
"I am sick, Remus, I am very sick." She said quietly. "I've gone into remission once, but it came back...I have treatments again over Christmas but my healers aren't so sure they'll work anymore. They say it's spreading..."She turned around to look me in the eyes. "Are you alright?" She asked selflessly.
"I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it, I won't believe it. You're perfect, you're smart and beautiful and you just can't be sick." I said still in disbelief.
"No. Remus, it's not that simple, you can't just verbally remove the disease from my body. I wish you could, it'd be gone already, but you can't. I have leukemia." She said being patient with me. If I were in her position I honestly don't know how I would have put up with myself. "Remus, listen to me, I do not have any problem with what's happening to me, I have no regrets and this doesn't change who I am." She said putting a hand on my shoulder gently.
"Why don't they think it'll work?" I asked quietly looking towards the ground. Part of me didn't want to hear this. She was my love, who would want to hear that in my position?
"There isn't a high survival rate, and the treatment is new and it's a lot of muggle procedures. It's not just a disease that a potion will take away. Also, it's spreading...they said they'd keep fighting as long as I do, but I know what they were thinking." She said honestly. I looked at her, knowing she was a lot stronger than I would ever be. I was worried over being a werewolf and Lys was worried about the very real possibility of death.
"Do you plan to fight or just give up because they don't think it'll work?" I asked sounding harsher then I meant it.
"I'm still going to treatments aren't I? It's not like I'm not stopping them..." She said sounding hurt. "I have something I didn't before to keep me going..." She said quietly.
"What's that?" I asked my voice more gentle now since I felt bad about the unnecessary harshness it had exuded before.
"You, Remus." She said softly. I gazed into her eyes and felt my voice catch in my throat. I didn't want this to be happening; I wanted it to be all a bad dream, I wanted to wake up. But, it was reality. And reality, for those of you reading who didn't know, sucks.
"I want to go with you." I said softly, once my voice had come back without the threat of any tears. Lys just looked at me.
"Go with me where? Because Remus if worst comes to worst, there are some places you can't follow me to..." She said teasingly. Her unyielding sense of humor just made me shake my head. I didn't know how she was so alright with this.
"To your treatments in December, I'd like to go with you." I said confidently. Lys just looked at me for a moment, she looked unsure, I didn't like that look.
"It's not the prettiest thing in the world, it has nasty side effects, and it'd be a whole day out of your Christmas Holiday. You really don't have to if you would rather not. I know I wouldn't want to if I had the choice so I'll totally understand if you don't want to." Lys said shrugging.
"I want to." I said honestly. "And as long as I'm with you over the holidays I don't mind sitting in a hospital room. If it means being with you while you're getting better than I'd sacrifice my entire holiday, hell, I'd sacrifice everything Lys." I said knowing that was the first time I had ever been that serious about anything.
"Alright then, you can come with me if you really want to." Lys said flashing me a slight smile. "This doesn't change anything Remus, I don't want you to go around treating me differently and I don't want you to act like I'm broken." She said making herself quite clear. She was a strong person, and I expected nothing less from her.
"It won't change anything." I said looking into her eyes. "I promise, I won't treat you like you're broken."
"Good because I'm not. So, can I call you my little wolf boy?" She asked flashing me a grin revealing her pearly white teeth. I just shook my head laughing slightly.
I couldn't believe what had happened. Thinking back on it, I'm still amazed at how that day turned out. I woke up that morning worried Lys was going to leave me because she would find out the truth, when I went to bed that night I was worried she was going to leave me in a worse way. I couldn't sleep that entire night.
When I said that knowing Lys was sick wouldn't change anything I thought it to be true but in time I realized it had changed a lot of things. Some more apparent now then ever before, there is a difference between knowing someone who is perfectly healthy and knowing someone who has a sickness. Lys acted like she belonged in the first category but really was in the latter. You can't help but think about the future and what is going to happen. You learn to be more perceptive, at least I did. You take life day by day and learn to appreciate the little things more often.
I listen to a lot of muggle music; I believe that they have some of the better quotes I tend to live by. Not that I don't enjoy wizarding music which talks about Hippogriffs and Gnomes and what not. I believe that John Lennon said it best when he sang "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." After hearing the song I knew that those words were meant in a totally different scenario, but it had fit mine greatly. Hearing about Lys' sickness slapped my right across the face. From that moment on I knew nothing would be the same, it was a feeling I wasn't fond of.