Chapter 71: In Which We Discuss Romance
Several hours later, they were once again at the dinner table. Hermione was chewing away, as Severus sipped the wine. Both had been eating steadily, quietly, for the last several minutes before something from before she had seen the note came back into Hermione's mind.
"So, you said something about inspiration earlier."
Snape looked blankly at her. Then he remembered. "Oh, yes, it's kind of silly. I didn't know how to say it, and I was hoping that I'd find something you liked in one of your books. I was looking for something you thought was romantic."
"So you just flipped through my books?"
"I looked at the spines carefully to see which ones had been read more than the others. Then I just let them fall open, and read what came up."
"Oh, and then you found…"
"Yes, eighth book I opened, and I was rather surprised to find that."
"Why?"
"I don't know… I just never figured you for vampire porn."
"I prefer the term erotica."
He gave her a look that indicated the difference was moot. "There's a difference? Smut is smut."
"Yes, but it's rather well written smut, and it's got plot and characters and no one is demeaned. Ergo, not porn."
"It's smut."
"You say that like it's a bad thing. Do you disapprove?"
"Well, no. Obviously. You found me happily reading away. I'll probably finish the damn thing tomorrow or the next day because, as you pointed out, it's got plot and characters, and it is rather well written. Any other well written smut-fests in your bookcase?"
"You'll just have to look and see." She licked a bit of sauce off of her fork and grinned salaciously at him.
"Hmp."
"See, the thing is, I prefer to watch romance and read smut. So, had you checked my DVD collection, you'd have hit gold."
"Really? Isn't that backwards?"
"You prefer to read romance and watch smut?"
"Watch smut, definitely, I'm not much for romance on any medium. Which is why I was looking through your books for inspiration, rather than head to my own."
"I like to watch the desire and the interplay of the characters. The tension building, that's fun to watch. Kissing, that's rather hot, too. Petting, right up my alley. But then the clothing comes off, and things jiggle and the motions are repetitive. And all I want to do is look away and giggle. By that point, if I was reading, the story would once more be focused on the desire, and how the characters feel, good stuff. But a movie really can't do that. So, watch romance and read smut."
Snape finished his last bite of spaghetti, and waited for her to do likewise. Then he offered her his hand and led her to her DVD collection.
"You'll have to help me, none of these look much like romances to me. Although I'm beginning to suspect you're a major Sean Bean fan." He gestured to one shelf that contained twenty-five or so Sean Bean films.
"Just to clarify: you want me to show you the movies I think are romantic?"
"Yes, purely for research purposes."
"Okay." Once again she had a brilliant smile on her face. "As to them not looking like romances, some of them are. I'll point them out. But, in general, I don't have much patience for straight romance. Each of these tales has a serious romantic sub-plot. Like these," she touched the Sharpe Series. "The first six are my favourites. Sharpe and Teresa, warriors, lovers, friends, who are torn apart and thrown back together by the war. The middle ones turn into 'Richard Sharpe, International Napoleonic Stud Puppy,' so I'm not as fond of them, but then the series wraps up with Ginny's favourites, Sharpe and Lucille."
"What happened to Teresa?"
"She's killed during the war."
"Oh."
She tossed a copy of Braveheart to him. "This is another one I love."
"I've seen this, great music." Kind of sappy. Who tries to conquer England because his wife is killed? That's just silly.
Hermione ran her fingers over the Lord of the Rings boxed set. "Ginny's favourite is Lord of the Rings, Aragorn and Arwyn."
"I've seen those, too. Read the books when I was younger as well. These movies probably have my favourite romance as well."
"Really?" Hermione was deeply interested in the idea of Snape having a favourite romance.
"Yes, Faramir and Eowyn."
Hermione, who hadn't read the books, spent a moment trying to remember anything even vaguely romantic about the two of them. "Aren't they only onscreen together for about thirty seconds?"
"Exactly. It's perfect. If you've read the book, you know they get to know each other as they're healing up and eventually get married. All of the romance happens off screen." She swatted him and he laughed. "It's very well done, a nice light touch. I think a lot of men, myself included hate to watch 'romance' because it's beaten to death. No subtlety, nothing left to the imagination."
"This from the guy who prefers to watch his smut?"
"Well, there are some things I'd rather not leave to the imagination and breasts are at the top of that list. What's this one?" Snape asked, looking at the Nicholas Cage area of her collection.
"Captain Corelli's Mandolin. Ohhh… Great movie, even better book. That's one of the pure romances, at least the movie is, the book is… well the book is in a league of its own. We'll just have to sit down and watch this one day." She was grinning happily at the idea of sharing all of her favourite movies with Snape.
His expression did not look enthusiastic. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Did I just sign myself up to watch all of these?
"So, I've noticed the Sean Bean theme, and now the Nicholas Cage theme." He touched City of Angels, Con Air, and The Rock.
"Yes, and you'll probably notice the Alan Rickman, Orlando Bloom, Ewan MacGregor, Hugh Laurie, and Jonny Depp sections as well. I've got them organized by who starred in them.
"Hmmm… any women?"
"Well, obviously there are all the co-stars in said movies, but when I'm watching a female actor she's usually not there for the romantic lead part. Emma Thompson's over on the other shelf, as well as Helen Mirim. I liked Sophie Marceau so much in Braveheart I got her other movies, except the James Bond one; I hate James Bond movies."
"Why?" Snape wasn't exactly a huge fan of Bond himself, but she seemed quite a bit more vehement than was necessary.
"They're just stupid. Q's funny, but I don't want to watch an hour and a half of dumb stuff with bad dialogue and lame character names just for three minutes in Q's laboratory."
"How many did Harry make you watch?"
"That noticeable, huh? Harry and George. We saw eight of the god-awful things in one day. I don't even remember why anymore, just the sheer boredom of hour after hour of those stupid movies."
"I'll remember not to make you watch any of them."
"Thanks. You've already seen Braveheart, so how about I toss Sharpe's Rifles into the DVD and you pop up some popcorn. I'll show you one of my favourite romances."
So it was, with a sense of trepidation, that Snape made the popcorn. As the music to the opening credits began, he began to relax. It couldn't be too sappy with that kind of music. An hour and a half later, he felt relieved. Yes, there had been some romance, but all in all it was a good movie. He was even looking forward to seeing the next one. But Hermione was yawning, and he was feeling somewhat sleepy himself.
So, instead of putting another DVD in the player, they went to bed, and cuddled into each other's arms, as he was drifting off to sleep he heard Hermione's voice.
"I think you're very romantic, too."