Disclaimer: I don't own CCS

To Sadame no Kageboushi: Yes, dearie… I'm afraid your feeling is right…

Oh, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Chapter 11 : Decision

Some months ago, when Tomoyo received the news that her love (or crush, in her late discoveries), Kinomoto Touya, was engaged to another woman, she thought her world was falling apart. She could remember how she wasted herself in a dark, unknown bar, drinking who-knows-how-much glasses of alcoholic beverages to ease her troubled mind.

That very night, she met Hiiragizawa Eriol.

A broken, lost oriented, cynic guy who later offered her a treaty of partnership.

He just made life seemed so much easier to her. So happy. So beautiful…

"I normally won't approve you doing this, Tomoyo,"

"I know," the lady said as pouring another liqueur to her glass. "Just this time, Touya-kun,"

When Touya came to her apartment some moments ago, he would never expect an image of a drunken (but at the same time, still pretty sober) Daidouji Tomoyo to greet him. She invited him in, and there they were then, on her apartment's living room.

"Don't you feel it's enough?"

"Don't worry. I'm a very good drinker,"

"You want some, Touya-kun?"

"I don't drink,"

She chuckled darkly. "Really?"

The guy didn't say anything, so Tomoyo continued finishing her glass. But then Touya spoke again, "…ke,"

"Pardon?"

"Sake. I prefer sake,"

Tomoyo let out an amazed smile before standing up and went to the cabinet where she stored all her stocks. 5 minutes later, they were already in their each own pleased state of enjoying (and destroying) themselves.

"So… what brings you here, Touya-kun?"

The Kinomoto guy paused, seemingly to get rid of his drunkenness (yes, so Tomoyo still proved to be the Ace of this 'drinking competition'), before then he slowly spoke, "You've heard about the news?"

"Your engagement with Mizuki-san?"

He nodded.

Tomoyo had recognized Touya Kinomoto well enough, to know how the guy always had the tendencies to put up his strongest façade to hide his own emotion. And he looked miserable enough. A picture of someone who held back when s/he was at the upmost peak to pour it all, was not a very good sight. Tomoyo wondered whether that was the image Eriol saw in her a couple months back and a few days ago when the magician told her about his and Kaho's current relationship.

Such sad, pathetic sight.

"Touya-kun,"

"Hm?"

"I love you, you know," she began. "You're my favorite cousin after Sakura –"

"Sakura and I are your only cousins," he pointed out.

She laughed. "I know. But still, I really love you. As my brother,"

He smirked. "Finally you're saying it the right way,"

"Yes… very late realization,"

"I love you too, Tomoyo,"

She smiled. "Oh… had you said this a couple months back, I would have jumped to you right now,"

"But you wouldn't now,"

"Nope,"

"Because you've found out that you're in love with someone else,"

A soft smile was featured on her face. "Yes," she took a deep breath before continuing, "What I meant was, Touya-kun… I love you that much that even if I see you cry like a baby or even wear pink frilly dress, I will still love you,"

He chuckled. "And your point is?"

"Don't put up your mask in front of me,"

"Oh," He was silenced for a long, long time. But she waited. And to such unconditional patience, he finally replied, "I'd never thought that I would lose the woman I love twice, Tomoyo. First when we broke up when I was still a young lad, and then now," Touya paused to drink on his sake. "I was really happy when we started our relationship back a year ago. I was very happy, but I didn't know how to express it. Perhaps she was dissatisfied with the amount of compassion I gave her. But I just… I simply didn't know how to express my feeling, Tomoyo…"

"So she left me," he continued. "When we broke up, I couldn't even hold her back. I even start to think that she has all the reason to cancel our engagement. I'm just a total coward,"

"Don't say that,"

"I'm not able to bring happiness to the woman I love, Tomoyo,"

"Well, then… what are you going to do now?"

"… Give her time. And try to sort my own feelings,"

"Are you happy with that?"

"That's the best I can do,"

"But don't you think this is the time to show her how you really feel?"

Touya sighed. "I don't know. Perhaps I will… but not now. We need time,"

"Okay. I understand,"

"But don't let your story end up like me, Tomoyo,"

Her violet eyes gazed deep into his dark brown ones.

"Well… what do you want me to do? Confess my love? Check. With the stupidest way I could ever think of, actually. He knows I love him, Touya-kun. But he doesn't return my feeling. So, it's over between us,"

"Your case with Hiiragizawa is different with me and Kaho,"

"In which part?"

"While Kaho is disoriented, what I see with Hiiragizawa is that he's just denying himself,"

"No, he's not. He simply just doesn't –"

"And so as you. Denying your own self, that is," Touya interrupted then heaved a sigh.

"God, you're too stubborn sometimes,"

"I think I learn it from the best. I thank you for that,"

"Such a praise. You're welcome," she muttered in sarcasm.

"Tomoyo…"

"What?"

"You know you don't want it to end this way,"

A sigh.

"I know but –"

"He deserves happiness. Just like you do,"

"…I'm just… afraid. Of rejection. Of heart break…. It's… painful,"

"Regretting is painful too,"

"You're quite a persuader, aren't you, Touya-kun?"

"Tomoyo, he already made you confess. Now where's your Daidouji pride? You should make him confess too,"

The Tomoeda nightingale blurted soft, small laughs.

Her mood gradually lightened. "I thought this should be your counseling session? Why switch the place?"

"Don't worry. This is mutual symbiosis anyway. You've opened my mind. Now you should do what you need to do,"

"Now?"

"As long as you're sure you can stay sober,"

Tomoyo smirked. "Half of a bottle is still an approved amount for me," she spoke as getting up.

"Do you mind if I stay here for a while? I'm not exactly good with alcohol and I think it has infused my brain greatly,"

"Don't worry. But you're sure you don't want me to accompany you?"

"Shoo, Tomoyo,"

The woman grinned. "I won't be long,"

Touya could only watch his cousin dashed out with such soberness, that he wondered why it wasn't in his genes –The ability to handle alcohol, that was.

scene changed

"Good afternoon, Daidouji-san," he greeted her casually. She, who had been running blocks away (in her state of bewilderment, she foolishly didn't think of the other option to drive in a car), was panting out of breath with messy hair. Not her best appearance, but heck, she did not care.

"I… I…" she tried to speak, really. But her breaths seemed to run shorter than usual.

Eriol smiled. "Come inside and let me get you some water. You look like you need it," he moved aside to allow her in and escorted the lady to the living room of the Hiiragizawa Manor. There was already a pitcher of water on the table, so he only needed to pour it to the glass and handed it to the breathless girl. "Here,"

She gladly accepted and took big gulps of it. "Hiiragizawa-san," she said after gaining back her drained energy. "I know that my presence here is so sudden. I myself still don't know how and why I'm here… Well, I mean I know, but…"

"Calm down, Daidouji-san," he laughed. "Where's all your usual poise and calmness?"

She blushed. "Lost it?"

"Quite evident," he quirked an eyebrow. "Look, calm yourself down and tell me. What do you want to say?"

In all her honesty, she was glad that Eriol had welcomed her with warmth and laughter and such, but… there was something unknown that she didn't like about the whole situation. It was like Eriol being too calm and too cheerful. And with all that had happened a couple days back, his behavior seemed rather forged.

But with a Daidouji pride on line, she wasn't the one to back up. Taking one deep breath, Tomoyo continued, "About what I said a couple days ago,"

"Oh, when your inner self suddenly spilled out?" he chuckled.

Tomoyo had a feeling that it wasn't something that should earn his laugh.

"Yes, that. I know I was behaving childish and immature. So I come here to –"

"Don't worry, Daidouji-san," he smiled. "I'll forget it,"

She looked up to the smiling gentleman. And there was something about the smile that made her LOATHED it. "N-no, you don't get it. I don't want you to forget it. I come here t-to… to say it in a better way…" she took a deep breath and muttered quickly. "Hiiragizawa Eriol, I…"

"You?" he asked in an almost challenging tone.

"I think I really am in love with you,"

Pause.

Then.

A chuckle.

Her cheeks reddened. "N-no. I know I sound stupid but –,"

"Yes, you do sound stupid, Daidouji-san. Perhaps you're just mixed up with your feelings with Kinomoto. Perhaps you're even imagining me as him currently or –"

"No. I've done with sorting out my own feeling, and I can say that my love for Kinomoto Touya is just a sibling's love. It's you… You whom I honestly love,"

"That's very funny, Daidouji-san," he grinned.

She wrinkled her forehead. "I-It's not funny for me, Hiiragizawa-san,"

"To me it's very funny. You? In love with me? Yeah, right," he laughed.

Boy, she wanted to slap him right there right then. There she was, confessing her love to him, and he laughed at it?!

"I'm being very serious here, Hiiragizawa,"

His laughing ceased. Until what was left was a dark, low chuckle. "Do you know that you're making things difficult for me, Daidouji-san?" When she didn't reply, Eriol continued, "Daidouji-san. I'm leaving,"

She blinked.

Her heart… felt falling down and down…

"L-leaving?" Tomoyo managed to choke out.

And for the first time she noticed the luggage and cases neatly packed near the door of the living room.

"Oh. You're…leaving?"

"Yes,"

"Where to?"

"England,"

A part of her heart was crushed. "H-how long?"

"Well, one thing for sure is I'm not going to be in Tomoeda in any short time in the future. I don't know for how long, but –"

A feminine voice spoke and cut his sayings.

"Eriol, the taxi's here! Are you finished with all your… oh, Tomoyo-san," Mizuki Kaho said uncomfortably. "Good afternoon,"

"Good afternoon, Mizuki-san," Tomoyo replied. Damn, she felt really bad now. How could she forget the Kaho Mizuki factor? Oh God, she really wanted the earth to swallow her that very moment so she could forget the embarrassment.

"You go first, Kaho. I'll be with you in a moment," Eriol said.

Be with you.

He had chosen…

"Oh. Right. Okay," the red-haired woman reluctantly said as walking out of the manor.

Once the priestess was out, Tomoyo let go the breath she was holding, "I am so sorry,"

"You're not making any mistake, so don't apologize,"

Silence.

"But I –"

"Tomoyo,"

She paused. He rarely called her that.

"You…" he began again. "You fill me, you know? You don't know how happy I am whenever I'm with you. I want to touch you, I want to kiss you, I want to be with you, I want to love you, but –"

Her voice was barely a whisper. "But you already love her,"

"… I don't know," he replied honestly. "But I have to find out. I need to relive things back with Kaho and I certainly… can't have you near me,"

She was silenced.

"You distract me," he added. "N-not in a bad way but in a… deeply confusing way,"

"And don't…" Eriol muttered heavily. "Don't wait for me,"

"I understand," her expression was a little bit hard, but her eyes held wisdom and sincere comprehension. Standing up, she then spoke again. "You'd better go. I shall also go back to –"

He pulled her into a tight embrace.

She was torn between wanting to push him away or hug him back.

So at the end, she did neither. Just stood still.

"I'm sorry…" he mumbled between her hair, taking deep scent of her –strawberries. She always smelled nice, he would wish for the time to stop, but knowing that it wouldn't be fair for her, he stopped and let go the embrace.

Her face was free from tears, but one could tell how much willpower she needed for that.

He cupped her chin, lips descended to her lips, but she stopped him. "Don't."

She didn't need this.

She didn't need him to give her the slightest hope.

Eriol seemed to understand her point, Nodding, he kissed her on the forehead instead. "Thank you for everything," he murmured. Heart broken.

Tomoyo nodded and pulled back. After clearing her throat, she bowed and spoke, "Good bye, Hiiragizawa-san," And without waiting any reply, she walked out gracefully out of the mansion.

Eriol clenched his fist. He wanted to go after her, but at the same time he knew how selfish he would be if he did so.

So he only managed a murmur. "Good bye, Daidouji-san,"

To Be Continued

A/n: I loathe fanfiction dot net for taking out the scenes seperator! Does anybody know a good way to seperate each scenes? The 'scene changed' thingie is just my desperate attempt to divide each scenes..