The Ebb and Flow

Chapter 3: Crumbling Boundaries

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

AN: Please note the change in rating. That about sums things up.

Reviews and comments are appreciated. If you want to know more about the story, ask questions, or read about my thought process in developing this story, head on over to the forum.

Thank you.

Summary: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

Two and a half weeks passed and in that span of time, she had spent exactly six nights at his house, always without a word to him as she climbed into bed, facing away from him on her side. But in the mornings, they always ended up touching somehow. Sometimes her leg was tucked between his or vice versa, once it was his arm that was looped lightly into the dip of her waist, but this morning, he awoke with the buzzing of his alarm to find that his hand was curved right below the weight of her breast, close enough to touch but not quite enough to cup her fully.

He pulled away with a grimace and scrubbed his face with his hands as he slipped out of bed. Closing his door behind him quietly, he ran into his dad.

Jimmy raised a brow. "What's up?"

"What do you mean?"

Jimmy smiled that smile of a father that said silently, How stupid do you think I am? "Jess, your mom and I know."

Jess didn't need to ask but did anyways. "Know what?"

"We know Rory's been sneaking into your room at night."

Sighing heavily, Jess scratched his head. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Because we also know that Chris has left and that you and Rory are friends." Jimmy paused to access the situation with a knowing eye and his voice intonation changed slightly. "And we also trust you enough to know that nothing's going on." He hesitated. "Right?"

Jess scowled. "Of course not."

"Why is it 'of course not'?"

"Dad, she's sixteen."

Jimmy lifted a brow. "So?"

"Don't be dense. You know exactly what."

He wanted to continue the conversation with his son, telling him that four years wasn't all that much in the greater scheme of things but now was probably not the best place for such conversation. Not once in the time of his son's friendship to the shy younger Gilmore had Jimmy noticed anything on his son's side to indicate that there was interest beyond friendship. There was never a glance, a touch, nothing. "Okay. Well, I'm leaving for work. Poptarts are in the toaster."

Jess mumbled, "thanks."

As he stood beneath the spray of his shower that morning, he closed his eyes and remembered the feel of Rory's warm body pressed up against his. And for the first time, his thoughts veered off a path that was never before traveled and Jess knew that she couldn't stay over anymore.

He shook her gently awake when it was around eleven thirty. "Rory?"

She rolled over and squinted. "It's morning?"

"No, but I think it's time for you to go."

"What?"

Jess breathed in deeply and knew that they were probably going to end up fighting somewhere along this upcoming conversation. "Rory, please get up. I'll walk you home."

She sat up in bed but kept a death grip on his navy blue comforter. "I don't understand. Why can't I stay?"

"It's just…not right, Rory."

"I don't get it. We're not doing anything."

Jess looked away but flashes of mornings whirled behind his eyelids. He had always been the first to wake whenever she spent the night and so when she woke up, she never knew how they spent the night entwined. "No, Rory, you know it's not right for you to be sleeping in my bed with me."

Her sleep-muddled brain could think of nothing to say but repeat what she had already spoken. "We're not doing anything."

Sarcastically, Jess responded. "We're not Joey and Dawson, Ror. We can't," Jess hesitated, "you can't, spend the night in my bed like this."

She nodded and peeled away the covers, slipped on her shoes and reached for her jacket. She opened her mouth to speak but she didn't know what to say. Tell Jess that she was afraid of sleeping by herself? No. Tell him that she felt safer knowing that he was there? No. Tell him that even though she knew he was right, she wanted to stay? No, she couldn't.

He stood and shrugged on his leather jacket. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

"No, thank you." Her reply came out bitterly.

Jess was tired and beginning to be irritated. He knew she understood why it was wrong for her to spend the night, but she refused to see it. His response was short. "We're not going to fight over this when we both know I'm right. And I'm also not letting you walk home alone when it's almost midnight. So don't even think about saying no again, okay?"

She didn't respond.

They walked quickly in silence and they didn't look at each other. When they arrived at her door, she didn't look back and only slid her key into the lock and went into the house. He waited until her bedroom lights went on and after a few minutes, he turned around and headed home.

Rory didn't show up at the diner that following week. Jess had expected that. Rory was never one to really face her problems head on. She liked to chart her potential routes and only then, when she had multiple choices, did she choose the one with the least confrontation. It wasn't the most flattering of descriptions about Rory's character but it was true nonetheless.

A week and a half later, still with no sight of Rory, Jess had arrived for his shift at Luke's to find that Caroline was sitting at the counter. He kissed her briefly in greeting.

"Hey."

He smiled.

"I haven't seen you around in a while."

It was true. It had been at least three and a half weeks since his last date with Caroline and he didn't deny the fact that he hadn't called her either. They weren't in a committed relationship but Jess could see that Caroline was probably hoping for one. "I'm sorry. I've been busy with school and work and…stuff."

Caroline narrowed her eyes but didn't say anything else. She had been passing by the diner one night when she saw in the window that Jess was closing up. She was about to go in to say hi when she noticed Rory coming out of the bathroom. Caroline had expected to see the younger girl leave the diner, but when she didn't and only waited for Jess to finish instead, Caroline became curious. Sure, she knew that Jess was friends with the girl, but she didn't really know the extent of things. They had left the diner that night together, but Caroline also noticed that not once did Jess touch Rory. They just walked in companionable silence.

Jess watched some sort of emotion flicker pass Caroline's features but it was gone just as quickly. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I have midterms coming up."

"Me too."

Caroline smiled, both sweet and seductive. "You wanna take a study break with me? Oh say, at my place?"

Jess smiled and leaned forward to kiss her quickly but with a deepening swipe of his tongue. "Mm, sounds good."

"They're what?" Shocked and muted whispers caught Jess's attention.

"Filing for divorce."

"Well, they were so young. Remember when she got pregnant in high school?"

Jess's eyes narrowed and he shifted his attention to the two women seated in the corner.

"They didn't get married right away, remember? Only after the daughter was born did they decide to get married. But yeah, I heard that they're filing for divorce."

Jess sighed. There was only one family that would garner that gossip at this particular time. Rory's family. But he hadn't known that things progressed into divorce for Lorelai and Chris. Last he heard they were just taking some time apart. But then again, it had been almost two weeks since he last saw Rory.

Rory. Damn. Jess knew that she must be taking it hard. She was a sensitive and emotional girl. Nothing good or bad, it was just who she was.

His focus snapped back to Caroline as she spoke. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Listening to them talk about the latest gossip?" Caroline had heard what had piqued his interest.

"Don't call it that." Jess snapped. Even though he knew that's what it was, gossip, he didn't want people categorizing what had to be horrible news for Rory into something so trivial as gossip.

Caroline recoiled. "Okay."

"Sorry, it's just, I don't like it when people talk about things that are none of their business."

Caroline couldn't help but ask. "What is the deal between you and Rory, anyways?"

Jess closed his eyes and grabbed a rag to wipe down the counter. "I've told you, we're friends."

"That's all?"

"Don't say it like that, Caroline. I don't appreciate it."

She nodded and changed gears. "So, will I see you later?"

Jess considered it. "No, something's come up."

Even though she expected that response, she still had disappointment clouding her voice, "yeah, I figured."

It didn't take a genius to figure out exactly what Caroline meant by her comment, but Jess didn't want to address it. He just watched her walk out of the diner and down the street.

He waited until after twelve thirty, thinking that Rory would show up knocking quietly on his window. But she didn't. And he worried.

He knew that Rory had tried to put on a brave face for her mother to see, not letting Lorelai know just how much everything was affecting her. Jess knew that Rory felt guilty and didn't want to add to her mother's already emotional turmoil. But Jess also knew that Rory would have no one else to talk to.

Slipping on his jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt, Jess zipped it over his bare chest and headed towards the back door at lead to the yard. He walked quietly and quickly down the few streets that separated the Mariano and Gilmore/Hayden household. Going around to the side, he saw that there was a dim light on in Rory's room and he tapped quietly, hoping not to scare her.

Rory appeared and pulled back the curtain but didn't make a move to open the window. Jess observed and almost felt the tears that were running down her face. "Open the window, Rory."

She complied and when he climbed through, soaking in the appearance of her room, he saw that family photo albums were spread out across her bed, littering her carpet with pictures from a happier time. Jess felt his stomach clench in response and watched helplessly as Rory just lay down on top of them, clutching a worn out stuffed penguin under her arms. Her tears were silent, but they racked her body. "Damn." He muttered beneath his breath.

She picked up a random picture, one of her dad holding her and smiling into the camera, and very calmly just started to rip right down the center, splitting the figure of her away from her father. Jess watched her methodically tear the side with her dad into four squares and then further dicing up the remaining pieces. "Rory, please stop." He crouched down on the floor and sat on his haunches. He reached out to steady her icy fingers. "Please don't do that."

Her voice was dull and hollow and it scared him to hear it. Never had he heard her so empty. "It's over Jess. He's leaving because there's another woman. And he got her pregnant. That's my dad for you. Always knocking people up." She laughed sarcastically, her tone unstable. "He's left to be with her. Maybe he'll marry her too. Maybe he'll invite me to the wedding. What do you think? I think I'd make a great bridesmaid. Or an usher."

"Jesus, Rory." He got up and swept off the remaining photos off her bed and climbed in. Jess gathered her into his arms and noted that she was chilled and moved like a wooden doll. "Don't say things like that." He positioned her into his body, pulling her close and tucking her head beneath his chin. Tuxedo, the stuffed penguin, was squashed between their chests and Jess reached down to pluck it out of her grasp. Once he placed it above their heads, Rory burrowed into his chest and wrapped her arms around his torso.

"He doesn't love us anymore." Her voice was muted from his chest.

"That's not true and you know better than that."

"No, I don't know better than that."

He pulled back a bit and smoothed her cheek with his palm. "Rory you need to get some sleep. Have you slept at all lately?" Jess saw that she had definite dark circles under her eyes.

"Can't sleep."

He watched her toy absently with the zipper near his chin. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You told me to leave."

Jess sighed and shimmied down so that they were lying face to face. "You know that's not what I meant. It's just…it's not right for us to be sleeping together, that's all. I never meant to imply that you weren't welcome or that you couldn't come to me, Rory." He ended with conviction in his voice and it expressed his frustration and anger at her for not seeking him out and at himself for not being able to do anything about it.

With all the irrational opinion of someone who was exhausted and emotional, she answered, "You left me."

Jess's eyes scrunched tightly closed though he knew she couldn't have known just how much those words hurt him. He touched his forehead to hers, allowing himself that contact which he was certainly smart enough to recognize was wrong. "Don't say that." He felt her breathing whisper along his lips. "Don't say that."

Her eyes were closed but she felt his words as much as she heard them. "Jess, please…" But she didn't know what she was asking for. Please tell me how to stop hurting? Please don't go away? She didn't know.

Jess couldn't stop himself, he really couldn't. He didn't think much about it either. He just knew that she was hurting and that it stung him to see her broken up. He buried one hand into her hair and the other snaked around her lower back, settling right into the curve of her hip. Without much thought, he kissed her. Her lips were slightly parted and he just rested against her upper lip for a moment. When he felt her suck in a breath, he moved gently, applying the slightest bit of pressure. Jess's fingers massaged her scalp with gentle fingers and his other arm tightened around her back and pulled her even closer. He allowed her to slip one leg between his and he continued to kiss her.

Rory had fisted her hands into the material of his sweatshirt and before he knew it, the arm that was around her waist was suddenly touching bare skin, his large palm spanning most of the width of her back from the tip of his thumb to the end of his pinky. He licked softly at her lower lip, teasing her gently before he glided inside, tasting her. Her moan triggered his own and he edged closer, his mouth working hot and wet along hers. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders when he shifted her onto her back and she tightened her grip around him when he pressed her into the mattress.

Instinctively, she widened her legs and felt him settle into the space that she created. She ground her pelvis up into his without knowing what she was doing. There was only a building pressure that she was aware of. When she felt Jess tightened his grip in her hair she released a breathy gasp. He moved his other hand and cupped her jaw, pressing against her to urge her to open more for him. He was sliding in and out of her mouth with precision and possessiveness.

He licked a path down her jaw and kissed the side of her neck. Rory shifted to give him greater access and his responding groan was all that she could hear. Their lower bodies were moving in tandem now through layers of jeans and pajama bottoms, and when she lifted, he pressed down. When he rubbed his hips into her in slow agonizing circles, she cried out softly, a whimper that sounded purely of pleasure.

Jess moved back to her lips and reversed their positions, steadying her on top. She cupped his head between her hands as he cradled her body on his. As their tongues flickered across from one another, he ran his hands down her back, settling right on her bottom, pushing her down into his erection. Jess hooked his knees around the backs of hers and moved his hands restlessly under the fabric of her flimsy tank top. Using his knees to anchor her down, their bodies set a rhythm almost without them knowing it. Their kisses ate at each other and Jess's hand slipped under the band of her pajamas and came in contact with soft cotton.

Rory squirmed and felt Jess's hand cup her, pressing down. His other hand was at her side, trailing and brushing fingers at the outer curve of her breast. That pressure was building again and before she knew it, she bucked down into Jess's hips while his fingers inched dangerously close to her nipple. His thumb moved back and forth and the sensations of his kiss coupled with that of his hips and thumb was too much.

Something was building up to a peak. Rory gasped into the kiss, unsure of what was happening to her. "Jess, what's…"

In response, Jess quickly moved his head down and sucked hard at her breast through the light layer of her tank top. His tongue pressed flat against her hardened nipple and he thrust up hard, once, twice and listened as Rory squealed and he felt her slight tremor on top of him. He shuddered along with her and held her close, his breathing coming out in pants near the wet spot on her tank top .

After five heartbeats he rolled them to the side and just held her close as the guilt washed over him in great waves. "Oh god sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." His voice cracked and he breathed in quickly. In. Out. He edged towards hyperventilation.

Rory wanted to reply but found that she couldn't control her voice. She just held on tight and fell asleep to the sound of Jess mutter again and again, "I'm so sorry, so sorry."

AN: Before some of you get all...up in arms about this (if you are), wait it out until the next few chapters. That would be my suggestion.

I've made a post in the forum that discusses my initial feelings and thought process about this chapter. You're welcome to read and respond accordingly.

Read and review please.