The Ebb and Flow

Chapter 8: You and Me

Author: Knowhere

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Nothing.

AN: And since this is authored by, well…me, I'm sure this comes as no surprise…

Enjoy!

Summary: Literati. The ebb and flow of a relationship. Charted from its beginning infancy, to its development, and further into its maturity. Due to the age difference, Jess and Rory begin their relationship solely as a friendship. AU.

Rory let herself in with the key that Jess had given her a week earlier with Paul's approval. Rory liked Jess's quiet and quirky-humored roommate, and Paul was equally appreciative of Rory's presence since she often brought pizza or bagels with her.

"Jess?"

"In here."

Rory found Jess lying on the bed, his back supported against the headboard with a pillow. She lifted her messenger bag off her shoulder and dropped it on the floor by Jess's sneakers. Crawling into bed with him, she plopped down with a sigh.

"How's the roommate?" Jess rubbed her shoulder absently and scribbled in a yellow legal pad that was resting on his knees.

"Annoying." She wrinkled her brow. "She's still playing that supposedly subliminal relaxation CD when she goes to sleep. Puts her out like a light but I'm the one stuck with listening to some guy in a fake soothing voice telling me to breathe my troubles away."

Jess chuckled. "How did your test go?"

"Good, I guess. Can you believe that it's only the second month of school and already I have an exam?"

"Hm." Jess nodded but concentrated on his textbook.

Rory paused to stare at Jess. His brow was furrowed in concentration, a gel ink pen resting between this thumb and forefinger, and his glasses were a little smudged. She watched with a hidden smile as she took in the scene. Jess's hair was sleep messy and his t-shirt was wrinkled. In fact, she thought with a shake of her head, it was the same shirt he wore yesterday. Since his lower half of his body was hidden beneath the sheets, she couldn't see what he was wearing on the bottom but figured it was his boxers. Jess had a weird quirk about never getting under the covers in jeans. Said that it made the bed dirty.

Jess looked up for a blink of an eye and turned the page. "Why are you staring at me?" He asked half-heartedly, scribbling another notation on the margin of his notes.

Rory smiled. "You're pretty."

"That was masculine." He smirked.

She bit her lip and scooted closer, inching her way between his legs. Coming up between his knees, she rubbed them lightly above the covers. "You have a lot left to do?"

"Yeah, sorta. You wanna order a pizza? My phone's right over there on the dresser."

Rory shook her head and moved closer to him. "Maybe later."

" 'Kay." He still didn't look up. When her hair fell over his book and notes, he paused and glanced up in amusement. "You want something, Ror?"

She nodded. "Uh huh."

Jess raised his brows. "What?"

Rory kissed him in response, aware that she didn't usually initiate such things. Jess smiled against her, and his hands framed to her face while his fingers pushed away her hair. He shuffled lower onto the bed, pulling her flush against him with the covers between them. Rory pushed away his book and notes, hearing a dull thump on the floor. She felt his tongue trace along the seam of her lips and she parted, letting him explore. He made an appreciative noise and it pleased her, knowing that she could make him loose just a little bit of control.

Rory's hands pulled down the covers on his chest, seeking the hem of his shirt. She tugged it up but it lodged by his armpits. Jess broke the kiss and licked his swollen lips. "Rory?"

She nodded and pulled at his t-shirt again. "Off."

Jess narrowed his eyes briefly but didn't say anything. They had yet to break the skin barrier. He let her take it off and watched with heavy-lidded eyes as she laid her palms flat against his pectorals, her fingers stilling and feeling the steady thump-thump of his heart. Jess traced his thumb over the slight bow shape of her lips, waiting to see where she'll take things. When Rory dipped down and kissed his chest, Jess shifted and tightened his grip in Rory's hair, pushing her down very slightly. "Rory…" Jess hissed out her name when her lips closed around his nipple.

Rory savored the new and foreign taste of Jess, aware that her body was responding along with his. Her breasts felt sensitive and there was tightness between her legs that was building to a familiar pressure that she'd felt before. She wanted to feel Jess's hands on her, anywhere, everywhere, but didn't know how to ask. "Jess?"

He grabbed her shirt in response, pulling it over her head and through her arms. She used her feet to kick off the covers and he helped her, the blankets falling into a tangled heap onto the floor. Jess shifted and Rory felt that delicious feeling of his warm weight resting on her, enough to feel him, but not too much to crush her. He kissed her deeply and his hips moved on their own volition. It was a slow rubbing; the circular movements raised their arousal up another notch. Jess heard her whimper and grip the waistband of his boxers. When he felt her fingers slip below, searching, he pulled back. "Rory. Tell me what you want."

Rory licked her lips and slowly opened her eyes. She didn't respond with words, only bucking up into him, hoping he would get the picture.

He did, but still he kept his body motionless. "Rory, say the words." Jess didn't know why he pushed, only that it was important she say it aloud.

She bucked again and her words were breathless. "You. I want you."

It was all he needed to hear. Jess kissed her, his tongue taking over, directing the pace and tone of their kiss. The movements of his hips were less aimless and now felt like thrusts instead of grinding. His hands went down to her jeans. "Hips, baby. Lift your hips."

Rory complied and watched wide-eyed as Jess sat back on his haunches and dropped her pants onto the carpeting. She expected him to remove her underwear as well, but he didn't. She suspected that he wanted to leave her that last portion of protection, feeble as it was, should she change her mind. She wasn't going to change her mind but it was sweet of him. He kissed the hollow of her hipbone and undid the front clasp of her bra. Nudging it aside, Rory watched his tongue peek out to taste the freckles right above the modest swells. She bit her lip, knowing that she wasn't the most endowed in that area.

He must have caught the action because he cupped the other in his free hand and his mouth worked slowly over her left breast. "Perfect."

Rory's breathing hitched and she held back her gut reaction to cry. She held his head down to her, arching into his clever mouth as his mouthed the underside of her breast. "Jess…I want," she sucked in her lip as she felt the sharp bite of his teeth. "I want…"

"I know." He kissed her mouth, tender lips. "We'll get there."

Rory hooked her arms under his biceps, reaching around to feel the smooth expanse of his back clench and release. "Get there sooner."

He chuckled. "So impatient." Jess tapped her on the nose.

"At least," she grunted, "give me something more."

Smiling against her skin, he lay down on his side and they both watched his hand slide down her chest, down her stomach, finally stopping at the top of her underwear. His fingers danced over the cheery yellow fabric. "Sure?"

She lifted her hips. "Yes."

Jess cupped her for a moment, just feeling her. When he slid a finger into her, he watched her face intently. He dropped his forehead onto hers as he felt the involuntary clenching. "Jesus, Rory, you're tight."

She burrowed her head into the crook of his shoulder for a moment. Rory took a shuddering breath, bit her lip, and confessed. "I haven't…ever…I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I know you had always assumed that I had," she broke off for a second when he looked up in surprise, "with Dean, but I just couldn't. I couldn't. I didn't love him. Not really, and I couldn't go through with it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"Shh." He whispered close to her lips, soothing her. "Calm down. I don't care about it."

"You don't?"

Jess kissed her brow. "No. Of course not." Lying down on the bed next to her, he removed his hands and just brought them up and around her waist, hugging her close. "It doesn't matter."

She ran her hands up and down his chest, reassuring herself that he was real. "I'm sorry."

He chuckled and let her see his grin to lighten the mood. "It's my first time too, you know."

She choked out a garbled laugh and slapped an open palm to his chest. "That was probably the worst lie you've ever told me."

He smiled, glad that he was able to ease the tension. "Well, it's our first time."

Jess was patient, teasing her with gentle kisses with his tongue flickering playfully. He pushed her to the edge with his mouth at her breast, his hands lazily traveling over her body, dipping into her belly button, over the curve of her hip, behind the ticklish backs of her knees. He let her do her share of exploration as well. Her shy but inquisitive investigation drove him out of his mind. Jess learned the language of her sighs, the sharp intakes of breath, and the hissed out release of air when he hit a sensitive spot.

He let the natural rhythm build, her body swirling close to the brink and then he would gently push her over, catching her at the other side. When she was boneless, he protected the both of them with a condom and was met with only a brief obstruction. He let Rory adjust to the new sensation and though she didn't climax the first time he was inside, he made it up to her after with a persistent mouth and open kisses against her, coaxing one last orgasm out of her before they were exhausted, lying on the bed with their limbs entwined.

"Morning." Jess's voice was deep, scratchy from sleep.

She turned and felt him nuzzle her neck. "Hi."

"Sleep good?"

Rory nodded, feeling the incredible warmth of his skin. There was a temperature difference between them and his body was toastier than hers. "Yes."

"My arm's dead asleep but it was worth it." He chuckled.

"Oh!" She moved away, letting him retract his arm from under her head. "Sorry." Rory grinned.

"It's okay." He snuggled back into her, reaching under the covers to fit her leg over his hip.

Rory smiled shyly, feeling his hardening arousal. "Don't you have class in like an hour?"

Jess nipped her shoulder. "If this isn't a reason to skip it, I don't know what is."

"I'll feel guilty for making you miss class," she protested even as she let his wandering hands shape her breasts and tease her nipples.

"Give me half an hour and you'll forget about your guilt." He rolled her on top of him, grinning like a naughty boy.

She skimmed down his body but winced when he brushed up against her.

Jess peered into her eyes. "Sore?"

"No." Rory squirmed but admitted, "yes."

He got up, pulling her along. "Come on, let's take a hot shower."

Rory stumbled a step. "Together?" It was the first thing that popped into her mind.

Tugging a t-shirt over her head, he grabbed clean boxers for her to slip into as well. "Yes." He chuckled at her question. "Together." Jess stepped into a pair of basketball shorts and led her out of his room and to the bathroom in the hall.

Paul looked up from the kitchen table at the noise and he grinned broadly as he saw Rory's hand tucked securely into Jess's. Snickering, Paul noticed that Rory blushed and pulled down the hem of the t-shirt that she wore. "Hey man."

Jess's chuckle could be heard even though the pair had already disappeared around the corner. "Mornin' Paul."

"Hey, is Rory here?"

"Yeah, she's in the shower. I'm heading out, so feel free to…whatever."

"Thanks." Jess shook his head at Rory's roommate, Cindy, retreating out of the room. She always made insinuations at their love life, even when Jess came by to watch Jeopardy with Rory. It was a standing tradition that they played along with the contestants. Rory was a fanatic about the game show. She even had lap-sized dry erase boards so they could fill in their final Jeopardy answers. It was crazy how involved they got with playing but they loved it.

Well, as long as Cindy's making assumptions. Might as well prove her right…Jess snickered at the thought and headed towards the tiny bathroom. Turning the knob, Jess heard Rory humming to lousy 80s pop songs. He couldn't keep from chuckling. "Hey babe."

"Ah!" She whipped around the shower curtain, blinking through a haze of shampoo. "Jess Mariano!"

"Oh yeah," he tugged off his t-shirt and grinned like a fool. "Scream my name."

She laughed. "Get the hell out of here. Don't think you're getting lucky after you just scared me out of my mind." Rory kept the curtain wrapped around her. "I mean it! Don't you dare come in here."

He smirked. "I dare."

Jess slammed the door behind him and flung his keys on the counter.

"Geez, man, what's up?" Paul looked up from his computer station. Since he was a techie, his electronic equipment was enough to make every geek drool.

Jess rubbed his forehead, hoping to push back the headache. "Nothing."

"That sounds like woman troubles to me."

He couldn't help but chuckle wryly. "Yeah."

"How's Rory?"

Jess rolled his eyes. "Other than being as stubborn as a mule and pissed off at me, she's great."

"She kick you out?"

"No, I left."

Paul raised his brows in question. "Isn't that gonna piss her off more?"

Jess opened the refrigerator and came out with a plate of leftover lasagna. "No, it's just what we do. We fight, get angry, and give each other space."

"Dude, I'm no expert with women, but how do you two ever solve anything if you're always giving each other space?"

Jess scowled and immediately defended his relationship with Rory. "It works for us."

Paul shrugged and turned back to his computer. "Whatever. It's your life."

Leaning against the sink, Jess munched on the lasagna and thought about what Paul just said. It did work for them, right? But as Jess thought about it, he recalled some of the fights they had when they were friends. He frowned as he replayed today's conversation. Jess somehow let it slip that he knew Rory's dad was getting married again and that she had been sent an invitation, plus a request that she be a bridesmaid. They both got upset. Rory didn't appreciate that Jess had saw the invitation on her desk a few days ago and hadn't told her that he knew and Jess was upset at the fact that Rory purposely didn't tell him.

When they started to fight about things that had nothing to do the topic on hand, Jess had told Rory that he'd see her tomorrow and calmly left her apartment.

Jess grabbed his keys from the counter and headed in the direction of the dorms. They needed to solve things now. Paul was right; they never really resolved their fights because they just let them wilt away. But they didn't work things out. Jess knocked on the door of her dorm and was told that Rory had left for home a few hours ago. That did it; they needed to get this out in the open. She couldn't run away every time they disappeared and he couldn't always give her space if they wanted to solve things.

"What are you doing here?" Jess appeared at the threshold of her bedroom.

She scrunched up her face. "How did you get in?"

"The front door. I do occasionally come through there, you know. I don't always crawl through the window." He smirked. "Your mom let me in."

"Why?"

Jess cocked an eyebrow. "Because I asked."

"Great," Rory muttered under her breath, "now she likes you."

He leaned against her bookcase. "Why did you run away?"

"I didn't run. I took a bus."

Jess rubbed his eyes. "Rory, I'm tired. I just drove all the way down here and it's almost midnight."

She felt bad for a moment. "You didn't have to." She reminded him in a soft voice.

"No, you're right. I didn't have to. I choose to."

Rory gnawed on her thumbnail. "I would have gone back tomorrow. You know that."

"Yes, I know that. You wanted space and I gave it to you without pushing. When you started to get too upset, I left you alone knowing it was what you wanted. But you took the space a little too far, don't you think? Leaving the city?"

"I just wanted to come home."

Jess sat at the foot of the bed. "Rory, you're taking me for granted."

"What?" She raised her voice in quick denial.

"Hold on, don't get upset." He held up his hand. "I mean we take each other for granted. I know you like I know myself. I knew you wanted space and I gave it to you without you needing to ask. We take for granted how familiar we are with one another. We can't…" Jess thought about it. "We can't treat this," he gestured back and forth, "like we did when we were friends."

"It worked for us then."

"Yes," Jess replied while toying with her bedspread. "It did. But we're not just friends anymore, Ror. And I'm not saying there's a difference only because we're sleeping together now. I," he hesitated, wondering if he should finish the sentence. "I put you first in my life these days."

Rory's eyes welled up with tears.

"You were always important to me, but it's different now. It's…more." He smiled softly. "And treating our relationship the same way as before isn't going to work. Like tonight. You can't just skip town or avoid me until things blow over. It was fine when we were friends, but it's not okay now."

It was hard to be mad at someone who just admitted that you came first in his life. Rory sighed. "I was upset when I found out that you knew."

"Were you keeping it from me deliberately?"

"Not really. I just didn't want to talk about it yet. Everything else was going so well with us. It's only been a few weeks since we started to, you know, and I liked…just being together."

"Rory," Jess moved to sit next to her on the bed. "Talking about it, even if we got upset, wouldn't screw things up for us."

"It's a weird feeling." She picked up Howard and stroked his upturned belly. "When we were friends, if we fought, I knew it would sort itself out later. There wasn't much that could happen that made me fear loosing you. But with this," she let go of the otter and took Jess's hand instead. "This doesn't have any sort of guarantee."

Jess chuckled. "No, I don't think you can take out insurance on a relationship."

"I didn't want to tell you because I knew what you would say. I didn't want to hear it."

He tipped up her chin. "And how did you know what I was going to say?"

"I just know you!"

"This is what I mean. We know each other so well that I can just raise an eyebrow or point and you could fill in the blanks. But what I would have said a couple of years ago as you friend isn't the same thing I would say as your boyfriend." He kissed her faintly. "As your lover."

"So you're not going to tell me that I should go."

Jess reclined on the bed, taking her down with him, laying them side-by-side. "No, I'm not going to tell you. I'm going to say that I think you might regret it in the future, but I'm also upset with Chris for putting you in a position that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you choose to go, I'd go with you. If not, then fine, I'll support your decision."

"I don't know." Rory yawned. "Can I decide later?"

Jess kicked off his shoes, hearing them drop on the floor and pulled the covers over them. "Yeah, we can talk about it later." He flicked off her bedside lamp, bathing the room in soft moonlight.

"I'm sorry I left."

"I understand." Jess hugged her to him, his arm naturally curving around her waist. "Just don't do it again if you can help it."

"All right." Rory wiggled in his grasp, finding his mouth in the dark. "I'm glad you came."

"Me too." There were things that needed to be said that were finally in the open tonight. Jess had bounced around the thoughts on the drive down. He knew that their friendship was a little dysfunctional at times. She relied on him a lot and they each subsequently took their connection as an alternate form of communication. While it was fine for them as friends, Jess knew that it had to potential to cause problems now that they were in a committed relationship. He was glad that they were able to talk about it and that she understood his point.

"I love you, you know?" Rory realized that it was the first time they said it in the context of being together. In the past, even though it was only uttered a few times, those three words meant a deep friendship, not a relationship. But now when she said those words, it meant something new. Something more.

Jess nudged her and felt the connection of their lips. "Ditto."

Rory giggled, breaking the heavy emotional content. "Now I wish I wasn't home."

"Why?"

"So we can make up…" She brushed her hands lightly over the fly of his jeans. "Officially."

He laughed softly. "We still can." Jess unbuttoned her top, pushing it off her shoulder.

Rory went for his pants, undoing the snap and zipper. They got undressed and made love under the covers, their moans muted in kisses. Her small twin bed squeaked slightly when he pulled her on top, letting her set the pace. He bit his lip when she sank down on him, slowly, inch by inch. Jess's hands went to her hips, guiding her motions. They found a rhythm that worked for them both and when she was close, he reached between her legs to press against her hidden spot and he watched with a smile when she cried out like a keening kitten.

The next morning, Lorelai caught them huddled close together. Rory was sitting on the counter next to the sink with the newspaper open on her lap while Jess leaned in, caging in her body with his. He nuzzled against her neck and whispered something that made Rory laugh. They discussed the new columnist in the Times and passed a Pop-Tart back and forth. When they noticed that they were being watched, Jess pulled away and politely greeted Lorelai before retreated into the bathroom. Rory smiled at her mom and chatted until Jess reappeared with damp hair. He kissed Rory's cheek and whispered to her that he would go see his parents, leaving her time to spend with her mom.

When Lorelai saw the shared smile and the way that Rory's eyes tracked Jess's movement out the door, she had to admit that they were good together. "I didn't think you were serious when I found out that you two were together."

Rory didn't take offense to the statement. "Why?"

"Because he's older than you and you had that crush on him when you were young. I just, didn't think it would be serious."

"What made you change your mind?"

Lorelai smiled softly at her daughter. "Just seeing you together right now. It's more than a crush or some causal thing." She got up and filled a mug of coffee. "Am I right?"

Rory bit her lip and tried to downplay her smile. "Yeah, I hope so."

AN: Writing notes for this chapter are posted on forum. In addition, I've created a new thread where I wrote the comprehensive notes for all the previous chapters. Thought/comments are appreciated in the forum.

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