I enter our house and I notice how dark it is and know that I beat Ron home. I turn on the lights and go into the living room to put on some music, something I haven't done in a very long time, then head to the master bedroom to change from my work clothes so I can make dinner. I enter the kitchen and glance at the wall where the enchanted clock we got from Molly and Arthur as a wedding gift shows me at home and the rest of our small family at the Burrow. I smile and start preparing dinner.

Twenty minutes or so later, I hear noise in the living room and know that Rose probably just came through the fireplace. I rush into the living room and pick up my little girl and spin her around, happier to see the eyes she shares with Ron than I have been in a very long time.

She giggles at my actions, and screams with joy, "MUUUUUUUUMMIE!"

I laugh and put her down as the fireplace ignites again with green flame and Ron steps out, holding Hugo in his arms.

"There's my boy!" I smile and take Hugo from Ron, and then I glance at him and add, "I mean boys." A wink in Ron's direction makes him smile and I put Hugo down. Rose and Hugo immediately run over across the room to play chess and Ron and I head to the kitchen.

"How are your parents?" I ask Ron as we get back to the kitchen and I go to the fridge to grab Ron a drink.

"They're good," Ron leans against the counter, "I think they miss their favourite daughter-in-law though." It's quiet for a second as I pause and consider the comment for a second. Grabbing a drink from the fridge, I close the door and turn back to Ron.

I stand with a butterbeer in my hand and walk to Ron. I lean into his body and give him another kiss. I place the drink behind him on the counter and he kisses me back very passionately and I can feel the heat in the room rising as I run my fingers through his hair and he grips my waist and pulls me closer to him, until we hear a squeal.

Breaking apart we see Rose standing in the entrance to the kitchen, smiling but looking disgusted all the same.

She wanders over to us and wraps her arms around Ron's legs and looks up at me, "Mummy when's food?" Ron chuckles at this and pats her head, then puts his arm around my waist.

I smile at Ron's affection and tell Rose that dinner will be ready soon and that she and Hugo should go wash their hands.

"I miss the family too Ron," I say in response to his previous statement, hoping he understands what I mean. Still looking at the floor, I change my gaze and cautiously let my eyes meet his.

Ron smiles at me and looks into my eyes for a second as if deconstructing the walls within and replies softly, "It's nice to have you back, baby."

We share a smile and I add, "I'm not ready to see everyone at once yet, but I was thinking maybe this weekend we could go visit the Burrow and my parents for lunch or dinner or something and bring the kids."

Ron nods in response, "that sounds good to me."

"Well there's going to be food involved in both visits so I should've known it would sound fantastic to you," I retort quickly and then we both start laughing. It's been way too long since we laughed this hard, it's strange since what I said wasn't all that hilarious but I think we both needed a good laugh.

I quickly finish preparing dinner and Ron sets the table and gets the kids together. As I sit eating, I realize how long it's been since I haven't been in a daze all through our meals. Suddenly I feel very guilty and I think Ron can tell. He grasps my hand from across the table and I feel better, then I look at our beautiful children and smile again.

"Kids what do you think of watching a family movie after dinner?" I say, and smile as their faces light up with anticipation. A family movie is something we haven't done in a long time.

Rose smiles and starts tapping Ron's arm, "Daddy Daddy, can we watch Finding Nemo?"

Hugo was such a happy kid he never cared about choosing movies, he was happy to sit and enjoy just about anything, but I could tell he's waiting patiently for Ron's answer and then I with a shot of pain through my chest I realize that he's trying to make sure that Ron and I are doing this with them together.

"I don't know, Hugo, what do you think mate? Does Finding Nemo work for you?" Ron smiles and rubs his little head.

Hugo smiles and nods happily and Ron catches my eye and winks. "Okay so after dinner we'll do the dishes together and then we can all settle in and watch Finding Nemo."

"Mione why don't you let us do the dishes since you made dinner and you can go take a bath or something and we'll get a movie set up for when you get out?"

I smile at Ron and I know that he's trying to make me feel good, something he's always done so well.

"Thanks baby," I'm a bit surprised at how foreign 'baby' sounds coming out of my mouth when Ron and I used to say it to each other all the time. I notice that when I say baby he looks up from his plate and catches my eye right away. He smiles and we don't break eye contact for a few seconds until Rose starts chatting about how wonderful it was learning out to de-gnome the garden at the Burrow. I chuckle a bit at the thought, knowing that the chore she's describing was easily Ron's least favourite when he was growing up, and we finish our meal quickly.

I help clear the plates until Ron chases me out of the kitchen and then head to the bathroom and run a bath. A few seconds after I get into the tub I hear a knock at the door and I assume that it's Rose wondering when the movie is going to start so I'm a bit startled when I say to come in and it's Ron who enters. He hasn't seen me naked in a very long time, not to mention wet, in a tub naked.

"Sorry Mione, I'm not looking or anything but Rose wants to read your copy of Hogwarts: A History until the movie and I need to know where it is so I can get it for her," Ron says and I notice that he's keeping his distance which makes me feel a wave of sadness.

"Ron come here," I say, I hate that it feels like he's scared to approach me.

He walks forward slowly and I notice his eyes take me in when he gets close enough to see through the water. Merlin it makes me feel good to see that look in his eyes, I giggle a little, "It's been a long time since I saw that look in your eyes."

Ron smiles back and I sit up and pull him towards me by his shirt, kissing him hard. When I pull away I whisper against his lips, "I am still your wife, I still love you, I still want you, and I don't want you ever to be afraid to approach me again. Okay?"

I know that he loves it when I get bossy, so I say this with an undertone that I'm sure he remembers from me telling him to study for his exams in school. He smiles in response and looks a bit unsure.

"It's just been a really long time Hermione, since any of this. What changed? Why today?"

The curiosity in his eyes is obvious, and I know that I should tell him that I went to talk to someone about our problems, so I reluctantly share that detail.

"I don't want you to get mad," I pause, "A few months ago I realized that I couldn't go on with life the way it was. Ever since we lost her, I've been so devastated and cold, so I decided to go and see a doctor about it. I went to a muggle therapist and I've been going back a few times a week ever since. I know you don't like it when I talk about our relationship with other people but I think its working Ron. I miss you so much and I know that it's going to take some time, because we need to talk a lot of stuff out, but I am ready to show you the love you deserve."

I feel a bit uneasy as Ron takes what I just said in, and then I look up into his eyes when he replies, "If you need to talk to anyone you can always talk to me, but I guess I understand you needing someone impartial to the situation. Are you sure they're helping?"

I smile and nod and he continues, "I hope you know how much I love you. There is a lot of stuff we need to say, but we'll get there."

I kiss him again and he responds fully, when I pull back I add, "I'll be out of here in a few minutes, the book is in the spare room on the top shelf."

"Thanks," Ron smiles and stands up, then leans down and kisses me one more time, "and I don't just mean for the book."

He closes the door behind him and I lay there in the bath, for the first time in a long time I realize I'm really at ease. I grin when I hear a loud laugh from Hugo echoing from the living room and decide it's time to get out. I dress quickly in pyjamas and walk out into the living room to find that the movie is set up and ready to go. Hugo is dressed for bed and sitting comfortably on the floor with his favourite stuffed animal and Rose and Ron are sitting together on the couch reading my favourite book. I take a seat next to Ron and lean into him as he puts his arm around me and we start the movie.

I feel myself relax into Ron's body and treasure the closeness that I haven't experienced in such a long time. Just after the opening credits roll, Rose gets up from the couch and joins her brother on the floor to be closer to the screen. Ron and I are left alone sitting together on the couch and as I sit basking in the comfort of my husbands embrace, I realize the movie has been on for over twenty minutes. Ron's grip around my shoulder tightens a little and I rest my head against his body. His tall frame envelops me and I carefully place my hand on his leg. We sit in content for another hour or so when I notice that Hugo has fallen asleep hugging his teddy bear and leaning against his sister. The scene is adorable and I want Ron to see but when I turn to him to tell him I find that he had been staring at our kids as well and looked to me at the same time. I share his grin and we lock eye contact for a few seconds then I settle back into his arms until the movie is finished.

The screen fades and I realize that I absolutely don't want to move from the comfort of Ron's arms. "Ron I don't want to move," I'm surprised to find myself blushing at this confession and bury my head in his chest. I can almost feel his smile and then his fingers start combing through my hair and I feel his lips on top my head. I look up at him and he gently moves a hair away from my face. I relish the feeling of his touch on my skin and he softly whispers, "Will you have lunch with me tomorrow?"

I feel myself smile, "sure I will," I reply eliciting another grin from the redheaded man. I place a soft kiss on his cheek and look back at our kids who are now both asleep on the floor. We finally get off the couch and pick each kid up to take them to bed. I place Hugo in his bed and he doesn't wake up at all so I give him a quick kiss on the forehead and venture back into my own bedroom while Ron tucks Rose in.

I find myself staring at the bed that I've shared with Ron for the past twelve years and realize that it looks a lot more welcoming tonight than it has in a very long time. I want to take the clip out of my hair and when I put it down on the dresser I notice a framed picture near the mirror that was taken just after Hugo's first birthday. Rose and Hugo are with Ron and I and we look like a perfect little family, smiling and waving happily. Tears come into my eyes as I take in the image of the life I had before and suddenly I can hardly breathe. I feel someone wrap their arms around my waist from behind and I regain my breath as Ron whispers softly in my ear, "We have great kids ya know," he pauses and I get my breath back to normal, tears still running down my cheeks, "and we'll get back to where we were, that's a promise." I turn in his arms and Ron wraps his arms tightly around me as I cry into his chest. I can hear Ron crying softly as well and I know that if I don't tell Ron everything that we'll never move on, it's definitely time. I take him by the hand and lead him over to our bed where we sit down and have a short moment of silence.

"Mione, if you're not ready we don't have to talk about this yet," Ron says quietly to me but I know that he desperately wants answers and he's only saying this to make me feel comfortable. I know I owe it to him to give him some sort of explanation and I shake my head, and words start tumbling out of my mouth.

"When we lost the baby, I just felt so guilty and I understand that logically what happened wasn't my fault but I guess I just sort of broke. I know we didn't plan the pregnancy and at the time I guess a part of me really wasn't happy at the prospect of being pregnant again and putting my career on hold again after finally getting back to work after having Hugo. That feeling went away of course, and my insecurities had died away and I finally felt sure that I want to have a huge family and I was actually happy that we were doing that. And then our baby died. She died Ron," I pause as I try to regain my breath, "Then and now I've just been terrified at the thought of having another child because I know that I can't handle the pain of giving birth to another dead baby. I can't handle it and I can't lose you and I've just been so scared that you hate me and blame me and that you'd never be able to forgive me that I let myself get so far past the point of reason."

During my confession I had started trembling and crying even harder, but Ron just held me and when I finally pull away I notice that his cheeks are soaked in tears as well. We sit in silence for a few moments, and then I feel his chest move as he takes a deep breath and I know a reply is imminent.

"Hermione there are a few things you need to understand. Firstly, I could never ever hate you. I love you so much I can't ever think straight and I always have and I always will. You also gave me three amazing children and nothing will ever make my love for you lessen or waver. That is a promise. And Mi, baby, I would never blame you for what happened. I would never hold you responsible for the tragedy that happened to us. It wasn't our fault, sometimes these things happen, and some things aren't meant to be. What happened was an accident and we can't change it, but we have to move on. When we're ready maybe we can have more kids, but if something like that does happen you need to accept that you can't control everything. An unplanned pregnancy is something anyone would have reservations about- but that doesn't mean that it's your fault that it didn't work out. We have to get past this because it's going to kill us if we don't. We lost a child, and it's awful and horrible, but there is no fault here. We just need to lean on each other and we'll be okay."

I know that what Ron's saying is true. It gives me some relief that he finally knows what I've been thinking and now all I want is to be in his arms forever.

"Ron, can you just hold me tonight?" I notice he smiles a little through his tears and when he nods then we both move so we can get into bed. Once we're under the covers a surge of happiness goes through me when he pulls me closer to him and whispers, "Baby I'll hold you every night forever if you'll let me." I know that he's still crying, I'm definitely still crying. Tears for a child that we never got to know; tears of grief for a baby that we should've been able to bring home from the hospital. Sleep takes me over as I cling to Ron's body in the darkness of our bedroom, finally letting go of the sadness that I've clung to for such a long time.

thanks for reading... plz review, ill update soon!