Chapter 3 is here, and it is pretty long.

Chapter 3:cowards, evil, and Monks.

Our heroes, a man, a girl, and a old man, are trying to save the world, God help us. Anyway, they are traveling through the water cave.

Tellah: Watch out Billy, giant fish behind you.

Cecil: My name is Cecil, and it is a harmless fish, who gives a crap.

Rydia: Hey look, we can make camp here, this cave is long and simple, so we can pass it tomorrow.

Tellah: Then we can fight the Octomaam.

Rydia: Whats that?

Tellah: A giant Octopus, no one has been able to cross its path, anyone who had, died.

Rydia: Then why didn't we go the other way, isn't there like a water hole that takes us straight to Damycan.

Tellah: No, or is there?

Later that night.

Cecil: Well Rydia is fast asleep, anyway old man, why do you need to get to Damycan.

Tellah: Some Bard has kidnapped my daughter, and is making nlove to her everyday.

Cecil: Bard? Arent they gay.

Tellah: Well this one isn't, he's spoony.

Cecil: What the fuck does that mean?

Next Morning.

Rydia: We are almost to the Octomaam guys, we just need to go into the water.

They go into it and see the giant octopuss, and it is mad.

Tellah: Quick, use ice on it little girl.

Rydia: That wont do anything, we need to use thunder.

Tellah: Wait a minute, where am

Cecil: Dumbass, look I'll go and slay it, with my new and improved dark sword.



Cecil attacks and gets hit badly.

Rydia: Idiots. This is so easy.

Rydia uses thunder and kills the Octomaam.

Tellah: Oh, I remember, we must kill the octomaam.

Cecil: She already did old man, who would've guessed lightining is strong against water.

Rydia shakes her head.

They are right outside of Damycan and see it get attacked by a barrage of ships in a few seconds. They go inside to see the carnage.

Cecil: Damn, they wrecked this place badly.

Rydia: How the hell did this happen in a matter of 5 seconds.

Tellah: ANNA!

Tellah sees Anna laying on the floor with a spear through her.

Tellah: How many times do I have to tell you, don't wear that skirt, its too short.

Rydia: SHE'S ALMOST DEAD. Wait, how did she get attacke with a spear in a matter of 5 seconds.

Cecil: Hey look, theres the bard.

Bard: (In British Accent) Ello there, I know you are mad, but I ca-\

Tellah: You spoony bard.

Tellah attacks the Bard with his cane, Edward cries in pain.

Cecil: Damn, he really is a pussy, he's getting beat up by an old man.

Anna: FATHER, STOP! Edward did not kill me, Golbez attacked and killed his parents, and I shielded him from the attack with the spear.

Cecil: You shielded him, damn, he really is a huge pussy.

Edward: I was scared, Golbez was oh so big a strong.

Tellah: Anna, don't die, I have nobody.

Anna: Good. Edward, I always felt like the man in the relationship, maybe one day you can become a man, not a little girl, goodbye the love of my life, well not my life.

Edward: ANNA!



Tellah: Golbez is dead, I will destroy him.

Tellah jumps out of the window, takes his clothes off, and runs down the plains.

Cecil: Thank Goodness, he's gone.

Rydia: Stop crying Edward, my mom's dead, I'm not crying, so act like a man.

Edward: Leave me alone, I just want to lay next to Anna.

Cecil: Dude, she's dead, get over it. Plus, that's fuckin nasty. I need your help, my girlfriend has the sand fever, its deadly. Plus she's horny.

Edward: I'll help, the sand ruby is in the antilion cave, I'll help you.

Rydia: You sure your not going to cry.

Edward: No, I wont.

They go to the antilion cave, go through it, oh and Edward cries about 7 times during the trip.

Edward: There is the antilion, its pretty ugly, but its nice.

The Antilion comes out and is foaming from the mouth.

Cecil: It doesn't look so nice, it looks dangerous.

Edward: Don't be so silly, he's just happy.

The Antilion is on its back gasping for air.

Rydia: It doesn't look like it feels good.

Edward: Nah, he's fine.

Edward takes the sand ruby.

Edward: Lets go guys.

The Antilion dies of dehydration, the flu, 10 stabs to the heart, blood loss, cancer, and any other form of torture or sickness you can think of.

Cecil and Co. go back to the place where Rosa is and use the sand ruby.

Rosa: Uh, hot, sick, and horny.

Cecil uses the sand ruby.

Rosa: Wha, Cecil, you saved my life.



Cecil: Ya damn right, nobody makes love like you do. Oh this is Edward and Rydia, Edward helped save you.

Rydia: What about me, I slayed the Octo-

Cecil: Shut up.

Rydia looks pissed.

Rosa: Oh, Cecil, Baron is planning to destroy Fabul, so we should go and save them.

Cecil: Why?

Rosa: Because, they make the Viagra you use.

Cecil: Really? We must go there then.

Edward: But Mt. Hobs is blocked by Ice, we need to burn it.

Rydia: I know how to do fire, I can melt the ice.

Cecil: You know fire?

Rydia: Its only the most basic Black magic move ever, geez you guys are dumb.

Rosa: Well atleast I know what to wear to bed.

Rydia: What?

That Night, Edward goes and plays his harp.

Edward: Anna, I miss you so much. I didn't even give you a funeral.

A Water Hag Appears.

Edward: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Edward runs in to the inn like a girl.

Anna: Edward, you must be br-, ah fuck it.

Next Morning

Cecil: Everyone set to go.

Rydia: I'm hungry.

Cecil: Have this chocolate bar.

Rydia: It smells funny.



Cecil: Because it aint chocolate.

Rydia: OO

At Mr. Hobs

Rydia: Fire.

She melts the ice.

Edward: Good job Rydia.

Rydia: Thanks, by the way, were you crying last night.

Edward: No.

The gang travel a bit and find some guy and bombs.

Monk: I will fight you to death.

Cecil: Heh heh, that guy is going to get his ass kicked.

Rosa: He has one sexy bod.

Rydia: Is all you ever think about is sex.

Rosa: Yes, what else is there.

Rydia: sighs

The Monk kills the Bomb and big bomb.

Monk: Why the hell didn't you help me.

Cecil: Its none of our business.

Monk: I guess, my name is Yang, I am a high class monk from fabul.

Edward: Fabul is going to be attacked by Baron.

Yang: Really? Well let them come. I will make them cry for mercy as he stands before the almighty YANG. I WILL DESTROY ALL OF THEM WITH BRUTE STRENGTH AND CLAW THEIR EYES OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS. I WILL SEE THEM CRY FOR MERCY AS THEY KNOW IT WILL BE THEIR LAST DAY ON EARTH. I AM THE BEST EVER, I AM BRUTAL, MOST RUTHLESS MAN EVER. NO ONE CAN STOP ME. I'M ALEXANDER THEY AINT NO ALEXANDER, MY STYLE IS IMPETUIOUS, MY DEFENCE IS IMPREGANABLE, I WANT THEIR HEART, I WANT TO EAT THEIR CHILDREN.

Edward: OO



Rosa: OO

Rydia: OO

Cecil: OO. I guess we'll help you.

Yang: Okay.

Damn that was long, Next chapter up maybe Thursday.