(A/N So, you thought I have given up on this haven't you. You were probably thinking, 'oh, it's just a cross-over, nobody will care if it's gone.' Well I've got good news for some and bad news for others, This tory is back and it's not going to die so easily. Sure, I've got 13 hours days and my chapter rate has slowed to about one a month, but that's still better than many authors who reah this point. Okay, enough with the cheap shots at the other people, there are plenty among them dedicated to what they write. Soo anyway, here's the next installment to my still ongoing series, 'The Light of my Soul.' I hope this chapter entertains you all...)

Disclaimor: You know, I'm getting tired of this, just go back to any chapter before this and you'll pretty much see this summed up right there.

Chapter 12

Beacon in the Darkness

(POV –Unknown- 'Blaze' –Unknown-)

'Shit, it's 2 AM…'

I roll over on the couch, turning away from the clock on the other side of the room, content to stare at the back side of the furniture. But even if I can't see anything here in the dark, my mind can still see what happened earlier today. For the past 8 hours, I've just been laying here, doing nothing but thinking of everything, everything that had gone wrong today.

Marcus Snow is now officially MIA, and that's putting the situation lightly. His beacon was lost mere seconds after entering Earth's atmosphere, destroyed by the burning sky. My mind keeps running over the events, picking out the details as I try to fix mistakes and patch up theoretical holes. But it's the way everything turned out that keeps bugging me. I can make up all the scenarios I want, change the decisions, and make different outcomes, but it still doesn't change the fact that Captain Marcus Snow never returned from his mission

'I'm all alone now…alone in my own little world. And I'm the one who made it that way, the way I treated the others. I only have myself to blame.' My thoughts flow from regret, feeding off the recycled thoughts from the previous day. I thought that I could go back to the way I was before, keeping myself from becoming vulnerable and prevent a situation like this from happening…prevent the pain from happening….again.

'When I get close, I only give them a reason to miss me when I'm gone. Yet when I retract, I just make things worse. I even had the nerve to walk up to Nagase and give her a bullshit speech on the topic, and just after waking up too. Yeah, I'm sure that was what she wanted to wake up to, a reality wake up call. Some bullshit speech on why we can't be close. Why did it turn out this way though? Why do I feel even worse than before?'

Yet, here I am, cold and alone, left here in the dark contemplating everything that I did wrong in life. All of my past mistakes, errors, and misjudgments, all called back to haunt me, each of them taking a little piece of my soul on the way out. I run my hand through my hair, trying to sooth the thoughts into the back of my mind and try to fall asleep, but I only manage to mat my hair upwards. I'm probably going to have bed-head in the morning.

'When did it all go wrong…just when did it all go so very wrong?' Burying my face in the little couch pillow, I use the darkness it provides to look back into my past, searching for those times when I could consider myself genuinely happy. Looking for the line between when things were great and when everything was turned on its head.

The correlation between reality and dream mix and mesh onto a single point of time in history, a time when dream and fantasy was replaced with cold, harsh reality. That one part of my history that I had sought to bury under a build up of emotionless layering, allowing the memories that go along with it to die slowly and painfully. It was the one blemish on what I have thought to be a perfect record. The day I lost a comrade in arms, First Lieutenant Alvin H. Davenport, to the unforgiving hardships of war.

Sadness turns to rage, the colors in my mind sifting from a gloomy black to an almighty red flare of emotion, seeking to turn the battle on myself outward. I sit up in bed, giving up my futile attempts at breaking my cycle of insomnia and instead continue to think along my new given path.

Pacing the room, continuing to run my hand through my hair, it all pours out, 'Dammit Chopper, you had to go off and be the big hero, sacrificing yourself to the good of mankind. You had to leave me to take care of Nagase and Grimm. You left me with the duty of keeping everything in line while you went off with a bang, forever marked as the 'Model Fighter Pilot.' They're writing text books in your name, teaching combat styles under your influence, and probably naming some goddamn community center after you; while I'm stuck here babysitting the rest of the group. What kind of bull-fucking-shit did you leave me in? The worst kind of shit there is! You left me to clean up YOUR mess!!!'

I abruptly stop on the spot, my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, and walk over to the wall over beside the couch, staring at it, slowly trying to let the anger fume. The venting process is slow, bottlenecked against the flood of thoughts that have yet to come out, along with some new choice words for my lost 'comrade.' That same 'comrade' who left things as they are, awkward and unyielding to the harsh reality that we're all going to die in a way that pains the others around us.

My fists clenched, the cesspool of emotion breaks out as something salty and wet cascades down my face, making its way to my outer lip, moistening it with the very feeling used to create it. The last straw is pulled and it all comes flowing out with one full force punch into the wall.

It impacts, putting a hole in the wall, and it all comes flowing out, "DAMMIT, WHY CAN'T I PUT YOU TO REST CHOPPER!!?"

(POV Kirasamo Haruka)

The cold morning wind beats against JMSDF helicopter, as it fights its way through the ocean breeze, carrying with it the fresh scent of salt water. A thick fog rests over the coast, obscuring most of the land and much of the sky. The fog itself has begun to glow orange, signaling the coming sunrise and the end of my shift. That also means a warm bed and a nice cup of coffee for the next 6 hours.

From under my orange jacket, I sit in silence looking out the side of the helicopter, searching the cliff rise along the horizon for any unusual activity. But in 5 years of service, not a single event of significance has happened. 4 years of training in the Japanese Marine Self Defense Force, only to end up watching the coast day in and day out. What a hoot that is, to go back and forth along the same flight path watching the horizon for something that will never come.

"Hey, Haruka, quit dreaming about your little girlfriend back home and get back to your job," the voice of the commander in the front jolts me from pre-home scenarios, but the shock quickly wears off as the fatigue sets in.

"Hey, Lueck, you mind throwing me some of that stuff my way," I notice my friend, John Lueck, on the other side of the copter, drinking from a container of some warm steaming fluid. Probably his morning coffee as that was his usual morning ritual.

"Sure, here it comes," he says as he tosses the thermos. I catch it in my thick black gloves, almost losing it in the process to the sweeping ocean beneath.

"Whoa, almost lost it there for a sec." I take a long drink from the thermos, savoring the rich coffee bean flavor and warmth against the back of my throat. With a relaxing sigh, I return the thermos to its rightful owner.

"You better not drop this! You see this necklace around it? It's a keepsake from the original Tokyo! It belonged to my parents, you know, before the Post Second-Impact wars." John always talked about his parents whenever the second impact was mentioned, telling the story of how he lost them to the nuclear attack while he was visiting his grandparents over in The States. Although, for some reason, the story becomes more far fetched every time he tells it. Like one time, he completely neglected the fact that he went to the US when the attack happened and it became a story of survival, with that necklace as his only driving force. It becomes quite ridiculous after that.

"Yeah, did you find it before or after the Korean troops found your sorry ass." I play off of one of his 'versions' of the story. Might as well get some entertainment out of the rest of the flight and watch him squirm.

"No, it was just before the German hounds sniffed me out of my hiding place in the basement." I guess he's in the mood to play around a bit. Usually at this time, if I take a nip at him, he'll just about tear my head off, especially when he forgets the coffee.

We both laugh, enjoying ourselves, but I just remember that I need to watch and I make another swivel of the horizon. And once again, for the twelve-hundredth time today, the horizon appears the same. Dull, gray, and never-changing, just the way I like it…because if you join this job for the excitement, than you're the kind of guy who likes reading the newspaper as a hobby.

"Yo, John, how's it going with Stephanie? She warming up to you yet?"

"A little. She came to see me off this morning. But than again, so did my last girlfriend the day she dumped me, so, what can I say."

"Just don't tell her about your last girlfriend than!" He laughs a little, before returning to his steaming thermos. It's times like these that make the service in uniform worth while.

"Hey you squid-bags, stop gawking over your pussy girlfriends and get back to your search or I'll see to it so that you get enough paperwork to keep you at base until your shift tomorrow!" The gruff voice of the commander once again penetrates the rustling blades of the chopper. Once again silent, I make another scan of the horizon, only this time, it wasn't the same.

Off in the distance, just before the cutoff from the fog, came a smoldering yellow-orange glow. It was quite unusual, seeing as how it differed in intensity from that of the sun. That and to add to the mystery, a mountain that lay between us and the smoldering looked as if a huge chunk had been taken out. There was a hole where the crest used to be, giving it a curved peak.

"Commander, there's something weird there off to the right!" The report is followed by a series of grunts floating from the cockpit.

"What in god's name…well, we better go check it out. Wouldn't want HQ having our hides for letting this one go. PILOT!!! Turn us towards that glow!"

"Yes, sir." Comes the pilots reply over the short wave radio.

John begins to grumble, probably because of this sudden diversion. All I can say is whatever is sitting over that mountain better be worth the trip, or I'll go beat the living crap out of it before returning home.

(POV Shinji Ikari)

Trees swoosh by the window, countless telephone polls pass between us and the dirt on the other side, and a thousand or so cars flash by moving in the opposite direction of us. Yes, it's another car trip to good old Tokyo-3. Oh, the happy memories, all the pain and suffering that took place there, all the lives lost. And yet it's being rebuilt? Whose idea was that, to bring back the very origin of all this suffering and for what purpose? For whose purpose?

"Hey, you alright Shinji, you look kinda depressed." So says the voice of Misato Katsuragi, herself being seated in the front passenger's seat. "In fact, now that I notice it, you all seem a little depressed. Even you Captain!"

"Oh…huh? I'm sorry!" He shakes his head as if coming out of some kind of trance, which worries me since he's the one driving the car. The same car, in fact, that took me to Tokyo-2 in the first place. And just as it did before, it's taking me to the last place on Earth I want to go.

"Just why are you so gloomy Captain Grimm? You look like somebody just died." And right on cue, Misato's comment drives its way home as Captain Grimm falls into another trance, once again almost ignoring the road.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Misato bows her head in apology once she realizes her mistake.

"No, don't be sorry." Grimm lifts his head up and gives Misato what appears to be his best effort for a smile. But he quickly returns to facing the road with a stiff look. "A friend of mine just went missing, that's all. He's lost, but not lost like you meant."

"Oh, I see than. And do you know where he's lost at?" She gives him a glance of curiosity, but when he doesn't reply, she just sighs and returns to facing the passing of telephone polls, cars, and trees.

This cycle continues until euphoria settles itself once more over the inhabitants of the car. Asuka sits in her seat, patiently looking out the window while tapping her finger on the door handle. Misato shifts unsettling in her seat, taking a new position every few minutes, bugging us with the noise her moving butt makes. And than there's Grimm, staring rock solid down the road, probably stuck in tunnel vision as he battles with his own thoughts. I myself just sit here doing nothing unparticular, not bothering anyone, and as such, nobody bothers me. Or at least I hope it turns out that way until the end of the trip.

Asuka nudges me on the shoulder, once again allowing the universe to break my small hopes. "What is it with this guy, Shinji? He's just sitting there like a statue. It's as if he can't talk to anyone!"

"Maybe he just doesn't want to be bothered." I reply in a 'nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say-no-more' kind of way, trying to give Asuka the subtle hint that I want to be left alone.

And finally, the universe works for me! Asuka just gives a shrug and returns to her original position looking out the window. I pull out my old S-DAT from the backpack at my feet and pop in a tape of classical music. And with that, I am content to retire to the smallest corner of my mind, away from all thoughts of the vents about to take place.

(POV Shinji Ikari continued…)

The car comes to stop, settling itself near the edge of the lake that was once Tokyo-3. The ruins near the water's edge have been cleaned up, and dirt sits where the remains of buildings used to be. The water is no loner red, but has returned to being the clear flowing water that it had been before. However, even though the Reilith no longer rests in those waters, the tall crucified image of an Eva still sticks out in the distance.

The car doors swing open, and we are all relieved with the scent of fresh morning air, its brisk scent running coolly across our nostrils. The smell of trees is carried by the wind, blowing at a soft pace as it caresses our faces. Refreshed by the morning weather, Grim waves us all in his direction, leading us towards the entrance to the Geo-Front.

Grimm leads us at a quick pace, the rest of us almost having to jog just to keep up behind him. He leads us down empty corridors, down deserted hallways, and through dusty service passages. For the next several minutes, not a single living soul outside of our group is seen. No NERV staff, no civilian workers, nobody! The white path continues, winding in square turns, leading us deeper and deeper into the complex, but to where I can neither remember nor recognize.

And than he stops, raising his hand as a signal to the rest of us, before taking a few steps to a shut door. He takes a card out of his pocket, swiping it into a padlock and inputting a few numbers right afterwards. With a confirming beep, the seal on the door releases and it slides open.

"You guys go through here and wait. I need to go get changed. I'll be back in a few minutes." He starts off, running down the hallway before disappearing around a corner.

I turn my back to the path, taking a deep breath before reluctantly stepping through the door into the large room.

"Go get changed? Changed into what?" Asuka's question comes from behind, its answer lost in time itself, until it decides to reveal itself.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Misato sighs after her reply, shrugging in her red jacket as we walk onto a large platform in the middle of the room.

It is when I turn to look off the platform that I recognize our location, not from the liquid filled volume beneath our feet, or the large equipment set around the room, but from the giant face staring back at me.

The face of the Berlin Eva, the one piloted by Blaze, stares back at my curious glance, its eyes glowing from my presence. Startled, I back step a couple times, trying to take in the scope of the situation. Not only had I been led back into NERV headquarters for the purpose of becoming an Eva Pilot once more, but I have been put straight into the demon's lair, where the truth lies but the coming doom does as well.

"GACK!" Asuka topples over, knocking her side against the railing as she flails her arms in a desperate attempt to regain her balance. She just catches the rail with her arm and waves off Misato's attempts to help her back up.

"What happened Asuka?" Misato looks with concern as Asuka quickly scrambles back to her feet.

"Nothing, the Eva just startled me, that's all. It's none of your concern anyway." She walks away from Misato with a 'humph,' and begins walking to the side opposite from us.

'She's hiding something from us…again.' I sigh knowing full well it's pointless to press her on such matters, at least for the time being. The door we came through hisses open, and figures start to file into the cage.

One by one they enter, first to come in are two figures in olive green armor, both appearing to be similar in height and appearance, their faces hidden behind visors of solid gold coloring. Next enters a very familiar woman, the one who had been sitting on the bench when we came to pick up Asuka a few weeks back. She follows the two in armor very closely; a brace is rapped around her shoulder, caressing her right arm tightly. Following her are the familiar faces of Doctor Akagi and Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki.

"Please line up along the center, facing away from the Eva if you please." Fuyutsuki issues out orders almost instantly after entering the room, his voice booming despite the wide open area. The first three to enter quickly line up along the railing, staring off into space with their backs to the Eva.

"Ritsuko, you're alive!!?" Misato squeals with joy as she runs over to see her old friend.

"Surprised? Or were you actually hoping I'd turn up dead?" Misato just laughs falsely, scratching the back of her head.

"…Heh heh…"

"Alright, enough with the petty pleasantries. Miss Katsuragi, if you could line up the two pilots so that they could face the Spartans that would be just great." Misato quickly complies with Fuyutsuki, rushing over to us and ushering us into position opposite to that of the 'Spartans.'

Fuyutsuki walks over, strolling between the two parties with his hands behind his back, Dr. Akagi behind in tow, both switching glances between the opposing groups.

"As you know," Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki begins without warning, "you have all been called upon for a very important service. The service to protect mankind and to destroy all those who threaten it with forces beyond that of a normal military. You all understand your duty, the cost and risks involved with that duty, and the conduct required to uphold that duty. Now I call upon you SPARTANs, to accept that duty and to give your complete and absolute dedication to the cause. I ask you; if you are here for that cause, than please step forward."

And without hesitation, without a second glance or shrug, not a scratch to the head or a moment of consideration, all three figures standing opposite of us step forward. The step echoes throughout the chamber, extending the moment from one fragment of time into a stretch of time that seemed to last forever. But at last it stopped, and the three figures stood, their poise never-changing.

"You may remove your helmets now." And Fuyutsuki turns from them and begins to consult with Dr. Akagi. While they talk quietly, the two olive green figures remove their helmets, revealing their faces to the curious.

Grimm is the first to reveal himself, his red hair and white skin flashing in the bright light. Blaze appears next with his light brown hair and stiff facial features. However, the one on the right, the only woman in the group, remains ever so still, her short brown hair the only thing moving against the circulating air. However, unlike her counter-part, Grimm, her gaze is avoiding Blaze. In fact, both appear to avoid looking at each other, an awkward expression pinned to both their faces. Grimm however, just looks between the two, a look of confusion vividly apparent.

"And now it's your turn." Sub-commander Fuyutsuki finally speaks after what seems like a long pause in time. He turns to Asuka, who is standing to my left, and stares down on her, a dark glare cast over his face despite his light skin tone and the many overhead lights. "Asuka Langely Sohryu, designated pilot of Eva Unit-02, you too know the duties and the risks. You have the opportunity to leave the service forever, and this may be your only chance. Will you leave or will you step forward and join the fight for mankind?"

Asuka just freezes right there, all of her previous actions cease. Even her breathing seems to stop, and I catch just out of the corner of my eye what appears to be her swallowing a huge lump. A bead of sweat rolls its way down her face, and her mouth finally begins to unhinge. She quickly shuts it and with a deep breath, she places her fist in front of her eyes and takes a huge step forward.

Fuyutsuki smiles, "We're glad to have you with us." He shakes her hand; Asuka uses her available hand to wipe the sweat from her face.

Captain Grimm begins to clap but soon stops after noticing that the other two aren't joining in. Blaze just crosses his arms and the woman gives Asuka a look of concern…the corners of her mouth actually seem to keep dropping lower and lower.

Knowing what comes next, I swallow the lump forming in my throat, but all I manage to do is shift my guts down a few inches. My stomach begins to harden and I soon feel sick. That sickness quickly turns to absolute nausea when Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki turns and casts his glare on my face.

"Shinji Ikari, designated Pilot of Eva Unit-01 and savior of mankind from the disaster of Third Impact. You are well aware of the risks both in and out of combat, but you must know that now we may be fighting other humans. Armed with this knowledge, will you still continue to fight for us all?"

The lump in my throat returns, solidifying and making my breath all the more shallow, my feet feel lighter and my stomach feels like just up and vomiting. Close to outright ventilating, I look between the choices considering each of them, desperately turning to the faces of the others for any advice. Asuka just stares back of me wearing a look of 'you know the right choice, idiot.' Grimm is looking from across the scaffold, his mouth shut so tight, he has crinkles forming around his mouth. Blaze still has his arms crossed and is content to sigh as his gaze turns to the floor. The woman remains standing, her look of concern still planted on her face.

Misato is not even looking at me, but is instead leaning over the rail, looking off towards the wall somewhere behind me. Knowing I won't find anything from her, I look through the voices, all seeping into my head giving off different answers and responses. Most of them say the same thing, the same repeated message over and over again.

'Leave now.' 'Get away as fast as you can.' 'Do you remember what they did to you?'

"I…I…" I try to start, following the voices decision; everyone leans in closer to get a listen as to what I'm trying to say. I can feel the words form on my lips and just as it's about to come out, one final voice screams out from the abyss.

'You'll never live it down if you leave now!'

Quickly exhaling, I take another deep breath, and clench my mouth shut as tight as I can. Before anyone can say anything else, before my mind can come up with anything else, and certainly before I can say anything at all, I move my right leg forward and allow the left leg to close in beside it.

'I have done it!'

One large exhale follows my step forward; those who had been holding their breath are finally relieved. Fuyutsuki, however, just takes my hand in his and shakes it in a slow up-and-down motion.

"I'm glad you made your decision. Yui would be proud to see you making your own decisions." Before I can exclaim my surprise at his knowledge of my mother, he just turns and walks over to Misato.

"And I assume you'll be returning as well, Major Katsuragi." Misato keeps her back turned away from him, still leaning over the railing watching some unseen object.

She sighs and says, "Since these two want to come back, I won't have much choice, will I?"

Fuyutsuki just frowns. "Misato, we always have a choice. The real question you should be asking yourself is which one is the one you want."

"Than I guess either way, the decision's still the same." She gets up and turns to shake his hand. When he accepts the offer, she smiles and says, "Just don't make me do anything to kill them off." She turns and looks and both Asuka and myself. "Because that's my job if they don't do what they're supposed to."

"Hey!" Asuka and I both exclaim at the same time.

"Commander Fuyutsuki!!!" A voice drifts from the doorway; a young man with black hair is sprinting down the scaffold, a piece of paper flying in his hand.

"Commander?" Misato stares back at 'Commander' Fuyutsuki with surprise.

Dr. Akagi walks up in place of Fuyutsuki. "It's a long story, I'll tell it to you over a cup of coffee." After settling that, she turns along with Fuyutsuki as the man finally stops in front of us, bowing over as he attempts to catch his breath.

"What's the matter Private?" Fuyutsuki says with a voice of concern.

"They…they found…" he holds up the piece of paper as he continues his failed attempts at completing a sentence.

Commander Fuyutsuki scans the paper, his eyes trim across the page, scanning the document. I lean out from my spot, trying to catch a glimpse at what it says.

"Looks like we have more good news today guys."

"And that would be?" Blaze looks up from the ground, the matter actually catching his attention.

"THEY FOUND CAPTAIN SNOW!!!" finally yells the young Private.

(A/N Alright, I got ANOTHER one done. Now here comes the part where I beg the few readers ou there to leave me a review. And over the next few weeks, I'll sit here gathering ideas for the next chapter (The Summer of Eva ) and come to my computer to find nothing. I think that my early chapters are deterring potential readers, so I'm going o edit those once I reach chapter 15. Maybe than I'll attract some of the more common readers. Oh, and thanks J.Alana, your never ending support helps keep the fight alive!)